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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Instagram makes me feel like a loser Anonymous 103040

I’m introverted and keep to myself mostly. I don’t step out to my room except for when to go to work or run errands. I only have 100 followers on my Instagram which I like because I want to keep private. It’s just that I feel bad about myself whenever I see these girls with 1k+ followers (and people they’re following) who get 200+ likes her post when I get like 5.

It’s not about validation. It’s about me feeling obligated to have more followers but I can’t name 1k+ people I care about to follow. I removed many followers because I realized we didn’t even know each other outside of social media. I only followed them when I started my first year of college.

Some of the girls who I know in real life who have 3k+ followers are literal social climbers.

Help me make this not affect me as much!

Anonymous 103044

Samefag, I just deleted Instagram. It really doesn’t bring any value into my life.

Anonymous 103063

Delete this app, it's made for normies and celebrities, if you aren't one of those you're just gonna feel bad.

Anonymous 103067

Consider that if you make your profile public and get a lot of followers, you are giving masturbation material to moids. If a girl has 1k followers, that's probably 800 moids who have wanked to pictures of her.

Anonymous 103078

Some people are just made to be hypersocial/more attractive, it's simply a matter of psychological tilt. It's not necessarily a bad thing to be one, or not to be. What is wrong is to compare yourself 1:1 with someone with (probably) completely different "stats" than yourself. Focus on the things that YOU are good at instead.

Anonymous 103091


Instagram has horrible UI. I don't understand how people use it. I've trying to upload several pictures at once but it sucks for mass uploading when you have over 500 pictures in your camera roll and have to scroll all the way down to find them. The whole Story feature is also bullshit and seems useless, other than posting them through Highlights. What's the point of posting photos and videos that will disappear from your feed? Plus all this shit with having Post and Story be a different feature entirely is confusing. So if a Story isn't a Post, what the hell is it? This design is just stupid.

Anonymous 103099

It's just some kind of trend-hopping back from when Snapchat took off, same as reels from TikTok. Useful for seeing who follows your profile, but other than that it's a pointless feature. They could've added albums, or the ability to shuffle the order of your posts, or higher quality pictures, or being able to put multiple different dimensions on a single post, and….. but nah.

Anonymous 103141

>or being able to put multiple different dimensions on a single post
Explain please, also I don't use any of these. What I also find strange is that snapchat, ig, fb and whatsapp and now threads are all owned by the same company but they haven't really streamlined anything

Anonymous 103148

yeah i did too. if someone wants to talk to me they can call/text. personally i deleted it because i was sick of my DMs getting read to fuel algorithms or the glowies listening to my conversations. i hope you feel better after deleting; i kind of replace all my vices/addiction with other things but its nice not looking at random IRL people having parties/going out/perfect pictures etc all day. i also hope any ads you see aren't as creepy, or maybe you have more time to do other things.

i think nona might have meant with posting multiple images in one post, all images are stuck to one aspect ratio/dimension so its hard posting stuff with different sizes and not be weirdly cropped.

Anonymous 103150

Oh, a layout problem then. That makes sense. Thanks for clarifying that for me. I don't know why I am so into the intricacies of such services even though I don't use them at all. It must be some sort of subtle autism

Anonymous 103157

They're all bots. All of them. Even the influencers are bots. I'd use insta if it was friendly to art and PC users but, like nona already said, it's made for celebrity worshiping normies who are stuck on their phones all day.

Anonymous 103163

I feel this way but with Twitter instead, I barely have any followers and any time I say anything it feels like I'm shouting into the void. So I could see how you feel that way on a different site.

Anonymous 103246

>Help me make this not affect me as much!

Social media is a waste of time if not for business, monetization, or marketing purposes. It's a huge time waster and the numbers don't have any substantial meaning. The sort of people who are liking posts are just getting their dopamine fixes, these people will just forget what they liked in a few minutes anyway. Liking is a mindless gesture, it requires little to no thought. Any sort of impression or content from social media is only short term for the most part because followers (not friends) just scroll and consume, forgetting what was posted once they find a new post to occupy their mind for a few seconds, and continuing to feed this cogwheel of content only wastes more of the individual's own time as the content only reaps this short-term validation that fundamentally amounts to almost nothing really, so you are trading a precious resource (time) for nothing substantial considering 99% of the value in the attention social climbers receive from faceless followers is mostly superficial and from people who don't truly care about them as individuals. And the social climbers are constantly obsessing over engagement, and keeping updated on meaningless things. Many of these people may have empty lives, but if someone has an empty life, social media is one of the bottom of barrel options to pick of all endeavors that exist for a bored person, and is also the one that requires less effort, skill, and real sense of accomplishment compared to other pursuits. They are really not in control at all, they are addicted. Often it is not the social climbers with large numbers who are in control, but rather the followers who have control over the social climber. A lot of people who care about keeping up a large number of followers are addicts to attention, which is why I would say their position is not one to envy, even if you feel envious about their popularity remember it's a sham. That popularity has no real value, and in 30 years someone who has wasted their years keeping a social media presence without reaping any actual rewards (such as monetary gain) will realize how fruitless it all was. The position of a social climber is in essence a depressing and sad reality. Social climbers are not loved by their followers and aren't seen for who they really are. Social climbers are more dependent on their followers than their followers are dependent on them.

Anonymous 103252

>Help me make this not affect me as much!
It doesn't affect me for the same reason that a 17th century noblewoman having several suitors calling on her doesn't affect me. I don't think about it. I don't even live in that world. My phone is a brick, goodbye touch screen. My life, as an introvert involves primarily reading, studying, thinking, and creating. I like talking to myself, it's one of my top hobbies. When I'm not doing that I'm going on walks or riding my bike.

When I had a smartphone, back when Facebook was big (when it was "in" for young people), I stupidly sunk countless hours into the damn thing. Mostly I just got into arguments with people much older than I was, which refined my writing ability (so at least it wasn't a complete waste of time). Still, I remember my younger self as being like a ping-pong ball bouncing all over the place, reacting to every environmental input. Now I can sit and wait patiently as I decide whether something is worth my time before reading/watching/replying to it.

Great reply nona.

Anonymous 103259

I’ve been lurking in this thread for a while and these are really nice replies nonas, thank you! I’m younger and have been struggling with similar feelings as op lately. This may be the motivation I need to delete insta, it brings me nothing but anxiety and I’m sick of it.

Anonymous 103269

I think social media isn't bad by itself if you have control but most people don't have good self-control I do think social media is bad for the majority of people. I also heard the algorithm suggests posts based off of what it knows about you, example how the AI shows recommended posts of egirls to men. It's designed to keep you trapped as long as possible. Personally I only keep a burner and lurker account to follow my favorite artists.

I think another good reason to add for women to not use social media or at least never post personal pictures is because of AI. Even if it's not real, I can see the consequences of such images being spread as AI gets better and better at faking nudes. Moids say "it's just an image!", no, there can be greater implications at hand besides being disgusting, it can be used against women in many real life scenarios. I also think women should be discouraged more from revealing private information like full name and full address online. There are many strange moids and if you somehow attract even one weirdo you can find yourself in a bad situation. You don't even have to do anything harmful to attract one dangerous moid out of hundreds and hundreds of followers. I understand people are lonely on the internet, but keeping a public image with a consistent profile on the internet with your face and life plastered over it is just not good. This oversocialization with the internet some influencers go through never bodes well, I think only the detached content creators seem to do fine but all influencers who are over socialized by the internet eventually crash and burn at some point from my observation. The audience forgets time and time again, they move on to the next spectacle so every time it is the influencer who faces the consequences of being terminally online, not the lurkers.

Btw, I wish you the best with your struggles, I think it's easy to get caught up in it but remember a lot of girls use photoshop, filters, and others. I think a lot of people on social media desire to curate an image of themselves free from all the parts of themselves they don't want to be seen. Social media is a very good tool for an individual to control ever aspect they are perceived by others in that regard. In the real life, this is impossible, you cannot allow yourself to control the perception of yourself others impose on you, you cannot avoid your true image which is why I think social media can be very appealing for many who are insecure and feel rejected but that's just how it is life is chaotic. Sometimes we can just never be who we want to be.

Sorry if this got too long! I just realized how much I typed, lol.

Anonymous 103276

Anyone else have problems with their self perception? I don’t mean to hyperpathologize this since it’s just low self esteem manifest but, i literally cant stand to see myself in pictures. And yet i see women and they’re always so beautiful and radiant and comfortable with their bodies and their features. It’s insane really.

Anonymous 103309


Yes, I might as well look like I just escaped a North Korean prison compared to how attractively literally every other woman on IG seems to present herself. I always feel like this compared to literally every other woman IRL too, though. I am actually very unkempt.

Anonymous 103422

Remember a lot of these people spend a lot of time and money working on themselves, if you are an unkempt person then trying to compare yourself to someone who has probably done much more self care and effort in keeping appearances is unfair. It's like comparing someone with zero experience with makeover, fashion, and beauty with someone with much vaster knowledge in the area.

Anonymous 103999

A lot of them will have bought likes and followers or sunk countless hours into liking and following others so they do the same in return. Or they will post thirst traps or spend time promoting themselves some other way. No one knows 1,000 people irl. It's fake.

Anonymous 104143

crystal cafe is a social medium

Anonymous 104144

There's a difference between anonymous and pseudoanonymous communities like imageboards and forums, and sites like Facebook or Instagram where you use your real name and face. Vast majority of people means the latter when they say social media.

Anonymous 104152

>language is a social medium
>Drawing is a social medium
>music is a social medium
>dance is a social medium
>the light bulb is a social medium
I don't feel too well

Anonymous 104155

>she uses language devised and designed by other people to express herself

Anonymous 104161

marshall mcluhan.j…

>the light bulb is a social medium

Anonymous 104338

_^^__^ ^__ ^_*^ ^| ^& ^|

Anonymous 104339

>McLuhan mentioned

Anonymous 104349

my friend met an instagram influencer IRL and found out just how fake they are. half of their instagram is bikini pics and they have thousands and thousands of followers and motivate people to mvoe from their country to the united states, but they're actually very shallow IRL, lonely, they don't look as good IRL when they're not showing their tits and ass for followers, and many of their videos are fake and staged (they got my friend to act in one). After learning this piece of info I deleted instagram and forgot about it.

Anonymous 104350

My cousin is an instagram influencer and while she is a very pretty and nice person, her real life is boring and most of what she posts on instagram is very hyped up and exaggeration her followers assume she is some super rich influencer but she is just a housewife IRL who split her time with attending graduate school. the places and things she posts on there dont look as good IRL either.

Anonymous 104352

AI exists, hence whatever you see on screen is false.
Don't take it too seriously.

Anonymous 104353

And you just found this out in the lords year of 2023?

Anonymous 104378


>Instagram users' lives are veneered by the careful selection and omission of key photographic elements
I'm Shocked. Nonplussed. Gobsmacked, perhaps.

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