alcoholic failgf Anonymous 103277
>be me
>fail a year in college due to ocd and adhd undiagnosed
>so avoidant and failgirl that im too scared to check emails related to college, cant submit work or concentrate on doing it
>took this year to work for money and work on self and mental health, doc prescribed antidepressoids, feeling better
>depressed last few months, not told bf of a year that i was lying about college
>he's so perfect and doesnt drink alcohol. i need him as my tradhusband forever and ever. hes the best thing that ever happened to me. brings joy and adventure to my life.
>drinking about 4/5 times a week bcs stressful late restaurant job.
>btl of wine on free evening. couple high alc beers on a light evening after work. 70 cl vodka over three nights. 'hiding' from my family.
>it all comes to a head after a staycation w bf where im not drinking, i sneak alcohol from his dads cabinet hiding this from him. drinking quadruple measures of gin and fanta so i can feel buzzed through the evening while hiding it.
>empty stomach. being insane. he thinks im having a psychotic break and calls my mom.
>big intervention.
>im taking break from work and going to quit. referred to counsilling and an abstinence program. first councilling session today.
>i dont think my problem is that serious. i admit i have had a drinking problem the past couple months. want to never get drunk ever again.
>i do want to drink on occasions. i have an all inclusive with bf booked, it cost over 3k. know i can drink in moderation, went on all inclusive with mother at start of year and was normaldrinking.
>dont want to lose my perfect little man
>family blowing my problem out of proportion. they are neets who drink 4 times a week also and more like 2 bottles of wine a night.
anyone have any insight?
Anonymous 103279
>>103277honestly nona, you're trying your best with life. I'm proud of you.
It feels like your family just raised you into being an alcohlic, I would not even take advice from them.
Just try to get input from your bf about it since he seems well adjusted. Try to find alternates to drinking such as gaming or stuff to distract you from that need.
Anonymous 103282
>>103277please tell him about the drinking dear god. lying about alcohol consumption and nicotine vaping is what ruined all of my relationships (I was the one who was lied to) and I can't trust anyone now. also addicts have this way of minimizing their behaviours and perpetually kicking the can down the road - you aren't capable of moderation and it's a lie you tell yourself that will cost you your relationship and ruin his life too.
Anonymous 103284
You sound just like someone who was close to me before they died.
Drinking will destroy you, and you already know this but ignore it. As soon as things go wrong you turn to it and spiral out of control. The only solution is to cut it out completely, which again, you probably know but ignore.
I pity your boyfriend who had to discover your deceit in a panic thinking you were unwell. Now he has to worry about you anytime alcohol is near, anytime there is difficulty in life, like he is living with a bomb.
You are aware of what is wrong and what you should do. If you choose to do the wrong thing then do not pity yourself in the future.
Anonymous 103289
>>103282>>103279thank u.
i need to put this behind me the way im a slave to alcohol and 'feeling good' is pathetic
am drinking non alc stuff and gaming, doing pottery, walks, candle making and gaming :o)
Anonymous 103290
>>103282youre right nona
i blackout everytime i get drunk, hide my drinking from my family and bf and steal. i am not capable of moderation. thanks for the warning. i hope i heed it
Anonymous 103291
>>103284thank you thank you thank you for these words.
i need a reality check
Anonymous 103295
>>103291This thread has made me very sad and I'll be quite angry with you if you let yourself slip away after this.
