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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Sexual Regret Anonymous 103809

How do you deal with the shame and trauma that comes with sexual regret?

Anonymous 103810

just don't think about it

Anonymous 103811

Personally I just don't dwell. First post is right.

Anonymous 103828

write about it and let yourself grieve what was lost
repressing the feelings wont be good

Anonymous 103927

i just gaslight myself

Anonymous 103930

you and me both bestie

Anonymous 103942

I received visions and learned about tantric wisdom. That helped me understand and forgive myself.

Anonymous 103945

Are you off your meds again?

Anonymous 103969

As for the trauma it can be tougher, I'm not sure why exactly it was traumatic? Were they just not right for you? Did they hurt you? Maybe it would make sense to talk to a professional but for me what helped is kind of accepting that I'm a human, I made a mistake because it felt right but now I know better. It might sound unbelievable in the moment but it's possible to find somebody who will actually feel right and with whom you'll be very comfortable and who will be very careful not to hurt you. Basically it's this kind of experience that can be really hurtful and unpleasant but in the end of the day you grow and learn more about yourself and what you are comfortable with.

Anonymous 103971

Ooops, for some reason my first paragraph got deleted
But it went like
First of all, why do you feel shame at all? People make mistakes and it's only human. It's OK to not always know what and who is the best for you, it's OK not to know who's right for you. They felt like a right person in that moment and that's OK. Now you know better and you grew from this experience. There is nothing to be ashamed of

Anonymous 105411

bump because it still hurts

Anonymous 105412

It should. Sit in with the shame and trauma. Talk to it.
Don't ignore it or act like nothing happened. Face the consequences, learn from it, protect yourself from regret in future. Endure and grow strong.

Anonymous 105426


This. I performed and received oral from a highly narcissistic TIM because of how desperate I got from being a virgin. Considering CC, my sexual regret is probably higher than most here. But I just don't think about it and thank myself for being smart enough to get out before it escalated to PIV. lol

Anonymous 105473

Someone predatory took advantage of your desperation. There's nothing to feel regretful or ashamed about.

Anonymous 105944

Simply do not regret

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