/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>105579
You do whine tho.
>I love those who do not give me the effort I deserve,
Good, you know the issue. That's 50% of the job done. Now work on it. Find your attachment style (one of 4, see pic), and learn about it.

You sound like a people pleaser, nona. I'm like that too, and I consider this is a product of my childhood, my relationship with my parents and my school experiences. You eventually have to accept that people will get away with only doing the bare minimum that's expected of them, so when you do a lot of things for them when they aren't even asking for it, they'd initially hesitate to accept ypur help but they eventually will, because you don't mind helping or taking care of them. There has to be a healthy balance of putting yourself first, while also taking care of others. Don't ask me how though because I'm struggling to figure out myself!

I also feel attracted to emotionally unavailable people who don't appreciate me, and I have a feeling that it's a recreation of my relationship with my mom. She really loves magnifying my mistakes, which gave me the belief that nothing I do is ever enough.

I'm also a shut-in, lol.


>>105580
Attachment theory!
It doesn't necessarily have to be only one though. I'm anxious-avoidant.

i literally came to cc today to write that ive been lonely. alr hella pissed n sad that my sister told me to my face shes lukewarm towards me when i do sm for her n get her sm stuff n jst want som company when shes at home, its like i hv to beg for her to soend time w me even on my birthday last thursday she was joking that was her gift to me and didnt even come down to eat cake together when we called for her 5-10x i feel like a fool.

even tho we see each other i havent bothered talking to my friends abt it since theyre all in relationships n its jst embarrassing to lay out my problems n mb break down in the process lol

i also dont want n m a bit scared of getting in a relationship n basically pouring my feelings out to a stranger after trying to date last yr i jst wanna vent n get this over with so i can write my test tomorrow in peace in a class i jst wanna get over w

>>105582
me again, that was rude but i forgot to add that i hope we'll get better op instead of soending tim here.. hopefully its maybe just the weather changing and we stop being so lonely soon..winters gna be so sad if this keeps going on

>>105580
hahahah everytime i try to be the secure type n hv a conversation i always somehow turn out into the anxious type, i cant stand it

>>105582
All the best for your test tomorrow.
Happy Birthday by the way.

>>105586
thanks so much, your reply made me feel better than the conversations i've had these last two days


i don't feel confident about the test, but i tried and i hope i pass

>>105592
me agn, in case anyone cared, got 74 ! hopefully th end of th semester goes as smoothly but im really grateful

>>105630
74 is a good score.
You did great!

>>105632
thankyou anon! <3

>>105630
good job anon!!! im sorry about what youre going through– it is tiring, it is hard– but youre trying. thank you for trying and being kind to others; you may think its unnoticed, but sometimes when we least expect it to, it matters most and makes a real impact.
heres a virtual hug :D

>>105580
This pic makes me so mad
Okay, what of I talk, express feelings and blah blah, but a person gives me nothing
As well when people say like “oh you just need to talk about it!” Amazing. Like it could work, like someone would care. I am talking, but nothing happens

I introduced 6 people to each other (frienda) and each couple is still happily together 5-10 years later. One couple has children.
They never introduced me to anyone. They didn't have to but it would have been nice…

>>109657
You can't make everyone like you. And thankfully you can avoid most human bs by staying indoors !

>>109648
Have you asked them to?

>>105579
I feel you, nona

Although I have a few close friends but none of them truly feel like someone I can converse with or connect with deeply. I know it sounds arrogant but my friends bore me a lot. I have not met anyone who matches my need for intellectual/verbal stimulation, those that did eventually left my life.

>>109667
Most people are not only underestimulating. They can be torture to be around. I mean like actual torture, taking cheap shots
at everything and everyone. Staying in shitty relationships and making you listen to the gory details. Then proceeding to be tedious and nauseating. It is no ones obligation to enjoy most human interaction. This should be rule of life no. 1. It's so much better to live intentionally and low key hated. Being mildly hated is supremely liberating because people stop nagging you and fucking around with you and you start doing whatever you want to spite them.

>>109673
It should just kind of be accepted and embraced in life that you'll be hated. If you aren't hated in some way I think you're doing something wrong. People hate what makes them question reality. Usually a woman enjoying her life triggers that the most. If you think moids will fill the happiness hole in your life and not seek and destroy it lmao