/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>105694
what borderline stuff did your mom do nona? my parents aren't personality disordered but I dated a guy with a bpd mom. I've never witnessed anything like that before - it's what caused the breakup. I didn't even know mothers were capable of alienating and parentifying their kids like that until I saw it myself

The Primal Wound, by Nancy Verrier. It doesn't do much in terms of helping adoptees but it was enlightening. Nature vs. nurture is an entirely different beast when there isn't much nature to show.

>>105702
I didn't have it so bad, but the book helps uncover a lot of things and nonsensical memories are starting to make sense.
>>105714
It looks interesting although I can't say it applies to my situation.
Another good one is Alice Miller's, a classic for those who grew up with not very competent parents.

>>105717
I do have an interest in dysfunctional families as there's no other overly charitable way to put my childhood. Will look into this book nona!

>>105719
It's a good start and a very validating read when you have been raised by dysfunctional people.

>>105722
re this pic, sometimes I feel like trauma-talk is our generation's version of satanic panic. Like, sometimes I feel like we're compelled to root through our childhoods to find and identify every immature moment of our parents' and conceptualize them as traumas and then deeply internalize the idea that we're traumatized and then walk around feeling not just bad but now bad and broken

>>106073
Heh, I get what you mean. That said, we live in incredible pacifist societies (yeah, it doesn't feel that way). Never before in the history of humanity were there so little interpersonal violence.
The other side of this is that we are more sensitive to violence. No one would bat an eye to an adult slapping their child a few years ago; now it is changing.
That's why I don't mind the focus on trauma: maybe we are all traumatized, and maybe we are only able to see it now. It does look ridiculous compared to older generations and their attitudes towards trauma and violence (what's the fuss? Just ignore it and it'll go away).
But we are also the only one able to see it that clearly because we live in incredibly peaceful times. So why pretending it's not there? Why not try and work on repairing its damages and see what does humanity looks like with less trauma?
We are exploring another kind of humanity. It is thrilling.

I haven't read much books although I wish I could, but I liked this and felt sad when it ended. I like anything gothic in general.

Is there any books on codependency and how to fix it?

Any other book suggestions that you love, fiction or non-fiction is appreciated too!