>>108762>>108762This is all good, nice research, some additional stuff my bf told me about this (He is VERY worried that I would be harassed, a lot more than I do).
To deter strangers on you way to work or generally outside:
No eye contact when you walk around, in the bus or wherever, be on you way when you move, and fast.
Be visibly unavailable, with a headset and read something.
If anyone is trying to talk to you and you have to remove your headset to talk, make sure you are off-putting from the get-go and semi-aggressive, that person is disturbing you.
Wear a wedding ring, whether you are married or not, make sure it is visible.
He never told me anything about clothes but I believe because he doesn't want me to change the way I dress, not sure if it is because he likes it and/or doesn't want this to overwrite my self image. I am sure it should be addressed somehow.
Keep pepper spray handy AT ALL TIME (he puts a great deal of emphasis on this point).
At work, or in social settings with people who are not total stranger with who you have to/want to talk out of common interest:
The goal is not only to keep them from hoping anything might happen, but to brand in their minds that it is in fact unthinkable and to be forgotten forever.
The general rule is to be somewhat of a contrarian, you are the one setting the boundaries so making them clear is your prime goal: For instance, he wants to be more colloquial, react by being more formal. His reaction should be that he tells 'oh don't be formal with me, we are friends/co-workers blah blah blah', and then you visibly ignore it by keeping it formal.
If you can do that looking straight into his eyes without smiling, it will throw a chill down his spine.
Be always a level colder than him, he is cordial and smiling when he greets you, then be equally cordial but don't smile, while not stepping to him, stay away.
It works all the better if you greet other girls at the same time, and that he sees that you are much more pleasant and close with them.
Augment physical distance when talking to them. Have a sharp tone when you do and speak distinctly, as the other poster said, keep it to facts. Of course any unwarranted physical contact has to be outed to the manager/supervisor/rest of the team, ASAP, or else he will get more and more daring, but most of you should know that already.
The best thing about this is that there are nice moids out there, who will get the cue, and after a few weeks, or months you can lower your guard a bit and share more while keeping them at bay.
To do that talk about your bf/husband(real or not),talk about how great he is (real or not), and how much better he is than the moid that would potentially be holding feelings for you. Put an emphasis on physical achievements, discipline and social status, it will hit so many nerves in him as he will not be able to not compare himself to the things you tell him about your bf, especially if you know for a fact he doesn't hold a candle to these standards.
It is like a long test, you set the pace and if he does not step over any limits you set, then you can get closer, but in that setting you are the one expected to make the move.
Fun fact, when my bf got hired to his new place of work the whole team were girls, and he is very formal by nature (because of the army and his social awkwardness I guess). The team manager of course was a girl too, everyone were talking in a very colloquial way with each other prior to his arrival, that was the standard. As he was overly formal compared to general way they unusually interacted, he was told by every member, individually get more familiar with them within the first weeks. By every member but the boss. It took more than six months so that she finally told him to just be as colloquial as everyone. I think she did that to toy with him to see if he would slip up and take the liberty by himself to address her in a more familiar manner. The thing is that during these first 6 months there was strange conversations where every member of the team would address the boss in a laid back way and only he would be quite formal.
I still do not know what to think of it, I work with some of these girls now, not with the boss though, I have never met her.
