/feels/ - Secrets & Confessions
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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Secrets & Confessions Anonymous 1068

Spill 'em girls.

Anonymous 1070

I still like warrior cats.

Anonymous 1072

I have so many. Nothing too serious though. One of the worst things I ever did was seducing my ex bff's bf when I was a teenager. That was years ago but I still regret it and it's a huge secret I keep. She was crazy for him and I only did that because I wanted attention.

Anonymous 1077


whoa, a little harsh anon, don't you think? It's in a confessional thread for a reason.

though tbh they do sound conceited

Anonymous 1078

She sounded regretful to me, not conceited. Tbh I never would have done that kind of thing but kids are dumb and impulsive. Also jesus christ he wasn't hypnotized, men/boys can control if they want to cheat or not.

Anonymous 1080


I'm in my late twenties and still like to play with kids toys.

Whenever holiday ads come out, I get really excited seeing all the new toys (I like to circle the items I like in the print ads and research the toys online). I'm a pretty composed person so nobody has a clue about this side of me.

Now that I have 2 cats, it's an incredible excuse to buy kids toys (they already own most cat toys). I basically buy things that the cats might like, and they actually do tend to like what I choose lol

They make incredible playmates, and I like to make sound effects when I play with the toys with them…

Pic related: my cats and I really like these hexbug toys, and the included "habitats" you can buy for them.

Anonymous 1083

calm down, anon. That was almost ten years ago, and something I regret. I didn't even fuck him, we were all 13.

Anonymous 1084

Ignore that poster. It was just some cuck who'd drifted in over from /r/incels or /r9k/.

Anonymous 1085

I still bite and munch on my toenails and pick my nose.
I turn 26 in August.

Anonymous 1125


Does this counts?

I sometimes wish there were more PULL users here than lolcow users. I don't even touch PULL, but some farmers are so bitchy for no reason or just for the ~sake of the imageboard culture~ or whatever. PULL may be dumb kids but at least they are mostly civil.

Like, I just wanna be comfy in this girly imageboard, goddamn.

Anonymous 1126

I'd recommend you just chill a little bit, Anon. I've been lurking almost every thread (I do admittedly skip a few big threads that don't catch my attention, like the LC travesty of a thread) and from what I've seen the vast majority of users have been totally polite and civil - even welcoming and compassionate! Sure, some of /disc/ has gotten a little catty, but that's true of almost every debate form on the internet. It would be fair to be put off by some of the posts there from a month or two ago, but all of those threads have since calmed down.

It seems to me like you might have a preconceived notion of LC users, and imposing that here. You'll have a much nicer time if you consider it a separate entity and don't go looking for the toxic image board culture you're used to.

Anonymous 1133

As long as people are nice to me, I will be nice to them.

I've had a couple of rude replies to me and I've been sort of taken aback, particularly in the vent and feels threads, which I feel almost should be a no catty zone. I expect that in /g/ or /ot/ on LC but goddamn, just let me vent without you judging my life.

Anonymous 1134

Seriously, at this point i am thinking the same eventhough i was one of the few that at the beginning didn't want to advertise to PULL.
That anon getting insanely angry at annother anon using a smiley face that wasn't even obnoxious because it's "not imageboard culture" or whatever and dragging it on for multiple posts was incredibly cringy. A few :) or :( are not that bad and not even obnoxious emoticons. Or that anon complaining about someone that made a quite "new to imageboards" post on /media/ and getting angry at it eventhoguh it wasn't that big of a deal and the post flopped.

It may be be an unpopular opinion because "new-ness" is annoying to most imageboards users, but i believe that with a website as new as this and targeted to women (which very few imageboards are) that has such a small amount of posters in it, adapting new people to imageboard culture by sending them to the rules pages or not being overly angry for no reason and actually explaining to them what is expected in a page such as this, will benefit it more than driving people away with "reeee normie newfags don't use smiley faces ever and don't post if you haven't been on imageboards for multiple years reee".

Anonymous 1136

Yes, I was talking mostly about /disc, there are some salty anons there. I really have nothing against lolcow (fuck, I've been using it since 2014 or 2015) and some people there on /g or /ot have been really sweet. But some like to be rude just for the sake of it, or say shit like "u autistic bitch" or stuff like that because that's how 4chan or the internet goes. It's kind of frustrating.

Yes, this. I am only rude when people are rude to me, even more so when it's for no reason at all. I do think giving advice in the vent thread (here or at LC) can be good and I've seen anons being thankful for it (even myself), but some anons are just like "lmao kys ur trashy", no one asked you?

Anyway, sorry for the rant, I guess. I do think most users here are rather friendly and welcoming, but we have such few miners that when I see mean replies, I can't help but be kind of sad.

Anonymous 1139

> don't post if you haven't been on imageboards for multiple years reee

It literally takes 30 seconds to read the rules and see that it says specifically no emoticons. The rules are posted on the top of every single page.

Anonymous 1140


Have a look at the Taylor R section of PULL. They are just as insufferable.

Anonymous 1141

I am aware of that, but i still stand by my point that redirecting them to the rules page instead of being overly angry at "newfags" is better.

And regarding emojis, what i was saying is that ":)" is not that big of a deal or an obnoxious emoji like "xD" or whatnot, so some people may not consider it in the realm of "emojis", and thus, use it. Even posters that have been using these sites for years may use :) or :( since it's not as big a deal as using mobile emojis. I believe a rant about it was uncalled for in this situation and was a bit over the top for what it was, nothing more.

Anonymous 1142

I agree with this. I interpret the rules as meaning emoji use like xDDDDD 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 LMAOAOOOOOO, not a single :) or <3.
The gatekeeping is obnoxious and will keep c.c from growing futher.

Anonymous 1143

>that anon getting insanely angry at another anon using a smiley face that wasn't even obnoxious
I was one of the Anons in that thread who originally said "don't do that". There were actually 2 different people arguing (the other Anon was the one saying it wasn't in line with imageboard culture~*, whatever that means). I only said to stop because I perceived smiley Anon's response as being overly aggressive and I guess I'm paranoid about this place turning into lolcow 2.0. Sorry if I came across as mean, though I still think that typing ". :)" whilst trying to talk down to other people is obnoxious as fuck.

Anonymous 1144


Hah, I didn't know that. I wonder if they would be nicer outside of gossiping/talking shit, though?

I was in that thread too and I noticed that you were a different anon than gatekeeper-chan. I actually agree with you that using something like :) or :^) while arguing is so petty and annoying. However, you said yourself that using emoticons from now and than is harmless.

I am glad I am not alone with this complaint though,
thanks fellow anons

Anonymous 1146

I don't think there's anything wrong with this. Just because you're an adult it doesn't mean you have to stop having fun, and toys are pretty fun.

Anonymous 1148

This. I've seen Admin herself use <3 It's not worth sperging out over

Anonymous 1155

I'm the anon that used the :) emoticon in disc and I didn't think it would be a big deal like xD or :3 would be but of course someone trying too hard took issue with it. I'm not even new, been using 4chan and other lesser known imageboards since the dawn of time.

The rules say "emojis" not emoticons. Someone who seriously takes issues with a simple smiley face shouldn't be posting here anyway and has much bigger issues to work out within themselves.

Anonymous 1171

Back to confessions!

When I was very drunk I made out with my (female) best friend. Never was able to muster up the ability to tell my boyfriend about it.

Anonymous 1190

As an adult woman I think everybody thinks I'm polite, eloquent and well tempered.

But as a teenager the walls of my room were covered in dent marks and scratch/slice marks in the wallpaper from where I'd throw stuff at my walls or actively attack them with knives. I used to get into fights a lot too in school and out of school to the point I was suspended at one stage.

I never really mention my past anger issues to anyone out of fear they'll think I'm still the same but I'm really not. If I mention it I just pass it off as a few scraps to my friends. But I was fully insane. I even attacked a boy with a set of keys for breaking up with me for not having sex with him.

I attacked my siblings a lot too and I feel awful about that. My mother used to beat the hell out of me a lot as a kid and as a teenager I ended up fighting back so I'd end up in full on fights with her too but it died out as she's old as hell now and had major spinal surgery.

If you saw our family you wouldn't assume it at all. We're all well educated and my sisters are all super graceful and beautiful. Feels bad man.

Anonymous 1275

To people on the outside, I seem like I have everything together, but I actually struggle with depression and hoarding. Today I cleaned my toilet and shower for the first time in over a year. I'm actually incredibly proud of myself, but this is such a basic task as an adult that I have no one I can really talk about it with.

I've been taking medication for my depression since last winter. I'm actually feeling better now and like things are going to be okay. Little by little I'm getting my life together and I'm so happy.

Anonymous 1504


when i was in middle school i let my dog drink milk by mouth-to-mouth. aka i would drink milk and let my dog lick my mouth that was slowly dispensing milk. in my defense i only did it like twice because i wanted to see my dog's cute face up close (pic sorta related because i have a shitzu)

Anonymous 1508

Um omg I used to do that to my dog too, around the same age, except I did it multiple times with food instead of milk. How nasty, but at the time I just really thought it was cute how my dog would eat food out of my mouth and seem so happy about it, too.

Anonymous 1562


When I was a little kid, I used to pretend that my pillow was Yami from Yugioh and make-out with it. I didn't know his name was Yami at that time so I just called the pillow Yugioh and say shit like "I love you, Yugioh. You're my boyfriend."

Anonymous 1566


Holy shit Anon.

Anonymous 1567

WHAT THE FUCK anon this sounds like me. I almost hate you for making me remember when I did shit like this.

Anonymous 1569


I feel you, anon. My mom is an artist so she drew a life-sized Taichi from Digimon in a huge paper poster. I carried the thing around and told everyone it was my boyfriend.

Anonymous 1572


>I love you, Yugioh. You're my boyfriend.

Fuck my sides

Anonymous 1573

isn't his name Yugi?

Anonymous 1620

i want to stop smoking but i dont give a fuck about myself at all to stop. i dont have a boyfriend or friends to impress or look good for. my life is meaningless and loveless

Anonymous 1671


No, anon! :( You're gonna find love eventually. I am sorry for your current situation, though. I don't want to be a preachy anti-smoker though, but you deserve happiness too, as sappy as this sounds.

Anonymous 1672

You know Anon your health is the most valuable thing you'll ever own, and it's only when you lose your health that you'll realise just how precious it was, and that it's not the kind of thing you can get back so easily. Please don't treat it so flippantly, because I guarantee that if you don't start making efforts to change now you will regret it further down the line, and you'll never be able to take it back.

Anonymous 1675

I know this is very stupid and very fucking selfish on my part, especially because I do have a boyfriend, but..

I secretly wish/want some of my friends to have a crush on me or, at the very least, a strong sexual attraction to me, even though I don't want anything at all with them, just tease a bit to see if they would say something.

It's just so great for my self-steem to think that. I would never cheat on my boyfriend or anything, but still makes me feel bad and selfish.

Anonymous 1703

I know this feel too well.

Anonymous 1704

that's pretty normal tbh?, a lot of us want to be wanted and desired

Anonymous 1712

I once read that garlic was good for your vagina but I literally took it as "put a clove of garlic in your vagina" so once for a good week I'd be constantly changing my garlic clove like a tampon before I realised putting garlic in your vagina is actually a super weird thing to do

I've never told anyone this until now hahaha

Anonymous 1713


Omg I forgot about Warrior Cats. I used to love it.

Anonymous 1714

Placing a garlic clove in your vagina is actually a natural remedy for a yeast infection, but you need to pierce/stab the clove multiple times in order for it to release allicin (when garlic is chopped or crushed an enzyme called alliinase converts alliin into allicin).

Anonymous 1715

>>1714 wouldn't that like burn? If you put crushed raw garlic in your mouth it's like "REawawawua".

Anonymous 1716

Do you have taste buds in your vagina, Anon?

Anonymous 1717

>>1716 point taken…

Anonymous 1744


I'm a different anon, but I once put a mint inside my vagina and my vagina literally felt and tasted the mint. I have no idea how. It hurt so much.

Anonymous 1745

What the fuck…Ew

Anonymous 1754

>>1744 why did you put a mint in your vagina? lol

Anonymous 1757

I was young and pressured by a boyfriend at the time. I thought it was gross as all of you are reacting.

Anonymous 1760

>>1757 anon I don't find it gross, I gave a confused chuckle. I just wanted to know why lol

Anonymous 1761

I figured lol. Boys want to spray their cum down your throat but are scared of the taste of vagina.

Anonymous 1917


>flashback to around primary school
>"won" an opportunity to go to a christian summer camp for doing well in some extracurricular reading thing or whatever
>fastforward to summer
>camp is holding a talent show
>a couple of kids are doing warm ups for their routines in the cafeteria, not a lot of us there
>happen to be a raging weeaboo during this time
>loved the hell out of bokusatsu tenshi dokuro chan
>decide to practice singing the opening song on stage (in shitty japanese)
>a song about torturing, mutilating and fucking someone
>heh watch all these stupid baka gaijin be totemo impressed with my routine, it'll meccha sugoi
>"wow hey anon, that was really good"
>my little ego inflates
>night of the show comes
>i actually take a moment to think about what the fuck i'm about to do
>chicken out last minute

Anonymous 1928


A lot of people are surprised when they learn how old I am (in my early 20s) because I look underage to them. They try to make it sounds like a compliment but I hate it, I hate how it's hard to fit in with most people because of this, how people automatically think I'm immature or straight up stupid because of how I look and how it's all because of some relatively rare condition (even though I received a treatment for that and it worked, but not as much as expected). I'm usually not judgmental but this is making me mock and dislike people who complain about being too fat or tall and people who show off how fat and/or tall they are.

Anonymous 1938

w-whats the condition anon?

Anonymous 1940

A childhood growth hormone defficiency. I can't remember how severe it was or if it's called differently in my case since I received my diagnosis when I was 6/7 years old but even back then I looked way shorter and skinnier than kids my age. And all the official documents I have are impossible to read because of my doctors' handwritings. Apparently growth hormone defficiency in adults is different but possible.

Anonymous 1941

Mfw lewd _5abe6d4f…

I'm engaged and I love my fiance so so much. He's perfect for me and we work well together. We've been together a long time

But for years now I've been so attracted to his older brother and want to have sex with him. It would never happen because 1) i dont want to risk my relationship over something so dumb 2) I'm 90% sure he would reject my advances. But I cant get him out of my head.

Anonymous 1955

oh fuck that blows. i remember when andy milonakis was denied nictoine chewing gum so he could stop smoking and he didnt have his id on him (hes about 40 years old iirc) and the lady thought he was underage bc of his voice and looks and she denied him buying the gum. his reply, "you have to be 18 to stop smoking?" really stuck with me. make sure you have your id on you everywhere u go.

Anonymous 1956

I don't know much about this man, I guess he's an American celebrity? I just googled him and the fact that he's chubby/fat doesn't help since it makes his face look even younger as well. In my case it's also my body because it looks kind of underdeveloped because of my really small breasts and the fact that I'm skinny. My hips are pretty large though because my treatment worked, but if it weren't the case I think I wouldn't even have started puberty in the first place. My voice also makes me sound young. Also from his wikipedia page:
>In a 2005 interview, Milonakis said he would use comedy as a means to cope with incessant bullying
>incessant bullying
I understand what he means. I used to be bullied in primary school a lot but then I started being ignored by most people in middle school. It sucks but in a different way.

>his reply, "you have to be 18 to stop smoking?"

lmfao, wouldn't it be better to help minors even more to have access to nicotine chewing gums and patches? wtf.

Anonymous 1958

>>my hips are pretty large
Lmao okay, then you are literally whining for no reason.

Spoilered because passive aggressive whining and envy reeking through my post.
I haven't been diagnosed with any condition, but I'm in my twenties and don't have hips, my breasts are not "shaped" and appear to constantly be in mid development, and for fuck's sake I can't order coffee without the barista giggling and asking if I'm allowed to drink coffee. Nothing is humiliating like going to a medical office and even after handing them your ID with your birthdate on it, your doctor wedging a speculum in your vagina, etc. all that bullshit, and they ask for parental consent forms and after my explanation because of my age, they fucking gasp and state they thought I was 14. Applying for jobs is a nightmare because they tend to assume I'm volunteering because I look too young to work. Fuck off, children don't tend to have nice, wide hips. That's definitely associated with womanhood.

>>lmfao, wouldn't it be better to help minors even more to have access to nicotine chewing gums and patches? wtf.

The point went over your head, lmfao.

Anonymous 1965


>his reply, "you have to be 18 to stop smoking?"

>lmfao, wouldn't it be better to help minors even more to have access to nicotine chewing gums and patches? wtf.

How are you both so stupidly naive? Do you honestly think if under 18s were allowed to buy nicotine products they would use them to stop smoking, and not, you know, as an easy way to get nicotine without the older middle man buying them cigarettes?

Maybe your mind and not you looks are the reason people think you're a child, >>1956

Anonymous 1966

All the things you have spoilered happen to me on a regular basis, which is more or less things I was complaining about in my first post. And I see a lot of teenager and preteens whose bodies look way more developed than mine all the time too, and they're considered on average. What I meant about my hips was relative anyway, I guess I worded it badly or I should have added "compared to the rest of my body".

>I haven't been diagnosed with any condition

You know that having a growth hormone deficiency doesn't just make you shorter than average? It also fucks up your body in other ways, especially if you don't receive any treatment.

I don't smoke or hang out with people who smoke so the first thing I thought about was that nicotine chewing gums are made only to help smokers stop smoking since that's how they're described in ads.
>Maybe your mind and not you looks are the reason people think you're a child
That's not how it works but whatever.

Anonymous 1967

>>You know that having a growth hormone deficiency doesn't just make you shorter than average? It also fucks up your body in other ways, especially if you don't receive any treatment.

…You were talking about being treated young, I was relating to that, I was prefacing my experience by saying I don't officially suffer from any condition so you wouldn't think I was trying to relate in that I have the same health condition. Like wtf, being treated that way is clearly not exclusive to those who have your health condition. I wasn't saying I thought I had your health condition or anything, and I wasn't talking about relating to any other health effects you may experience because of this mysterious condition you don't remember the name of.

Seriously considering that you have some intellectual deficiencies like >>1965 suggested since it seems like you suffer from piss poor reading comprehension.

Anonymous 1968

I said in my first post one of the reasons why I don't like being told I look young is because of the condition. I know very well it's possible to look young without any particular reason because I'm not a shut-in but the way you said it sounded weird. I guess I've seen enough people who wished they have something that I interpreted what you said badly. Your ranting seemed like you wanted to complain about how you have it worse than me so I didn't have any right to complain, when if anything we're in the same situation.

Also I literally said what I have is a growth hormone deficiency, which is caused in my specific case because my pituitary gland is fucked up. I've been told that there are other way to name it depending on why a patient's pituitary gland doesn't work properly (if it hereditary or caused by a tumor or chemo or anything else).

>piss poor reading comprehension

tbh I'm half asleep, it's late where I am and English isn't my first language. And I tend to post really early or late here so it doesn't help I guess.

Anonymous 1970

Thanks for your reply anon. I was very short and skinny as a kid, and a doctor accused my parents of child abuse because of my size/stature. I just come from a womanlet lineage though in my case lol and never thought this could be a sign of hormone issues. Is the rest of your family tall/bigger?

Anonymous 1971

Some of my relatives are average, most are a bit shorter than average, especially the woman. But they all reached puberty by themselves, I'm not sure if I'm saying it correctly. From my father's side, my grandma doesn't even reach 1m45 and I've been told that my grandfather was really tall.

I think my doctors noticed something was wrong with me because I almost stopped growing up when I was 6/7 and I was used to passing out because of hypoglycemia and my blood pressure pretty often (now I know that I have to eat a lot to avoid it so I can deal with it better, and it happens less often in the first place.) So my case was typical I guess. I had to take injections of growth hormone everyday for years and it worked well because now I'm under average but not too short and skinny.

>a doctor accused my parents of child abuse because of my size/stature.

Are your parents short and thin? Because that would be a weird thing to assume if that were the case.

Anonymous 1988

i thought about that after i posted it and knew someone was going to bitch about it. of course you did. astigmatism.

Anonymous 1989

Bitter anon from before here, odd you mention that because I've dealt with both hypoglycemia and low blood pressure my whole life. I also have conversion disorder where I hallucinate mildly and get "paralyzed" (I posted that somewhere else on here, too), my doctor sucks really bad because she blames any problem I complain about on my weight.

Anonymous 1992

>>Are your parents short and thin? Because that would be a weird thing to assume if that were the case.

Yes, but my family situation was pretty unstable when I was younger so I'm guessing the doctor thought I was short/small because I was being starved/neglected due to family situation.

Anonymous 1993

If you know you eat properly and the right quantities for someone your size try to see another doctor about that if possible, just in case you do have a problem and you can do something about it. If your doctor blames your weight on this and doesn't check you properly they're not worth your time.

That makes sense.

Anonymous 2093


I'm not even sure where to post this, maybe a different thread would be better, but since I feel like I'm hiding a secret, this is probably a good place to vent anyway… So here we go: I think I'm developing an ED.

I've suffered from depression for years and I got off my meds very recently (with my psychiatrist's approval). I don't really feel ~depressed~ as before, just "normal" sad 90% of the time… So my entire family is happy for me and for the progress I've made. But here I am, developing an eating disorder in secret. I'm still moderately fat, but I know the way I've been thinking and behaving isn't normal at all. I've been showing signs of bulimia. Maybe my problem isn't as severe as I think anyway, and i don't want to tell my doctor or family now.

It's like I just got out of the pits of hell and then jumped straight into a nearby abyss. I'm a fucking idiot.

I just hope it goes away on its own, but I sort of doubt it. I feel gross… Physically and mentally. Maybe getting an ED is what I deserve anyway.

Anonymous 2125

I had to get stitches months ago and never went back to have them taken out. It's in a place I (and anyone else) can't see, so I have no idea what it looks like right now, but it doesn't give me any kind of discomfort. I'm scared to go back and confess that I've been walking around like this for so long and I know I have to get them taken out aaa

Anonymous 2128

Are you sure they were the type of stitches that were required to be taken out? Some doctors use stitches that dematerialize. If you know they are still there though, then just call up your doctor. I'm sure it will be fine!

Anonymous 2167

I'm pretty sure that's because of the menthol. You don't necessarily 'taste' it, but yeah. If the mint even had menthol in it, that is

Anonymous 2172

I would make sure you don't let it get out of hand. That kind of stuff tends to spiral out of control. It's because you end up feeding a primal instinct.

Anonymous 2174

I found out holding a girls hand is actually too much for me.

Anonymous 2176

Make sure you're getting enough vitamins, at least. Base your goal weight on scientific standards and stop when you reach that goal weight.

If you don't think that's possible, seek help. Not HAES help, mind you, but an actual nutritionist who can ensure you're not starving yourself.

Anonymous 2186

I don't feel any special sense of camaraderie with other women any more than i feel it with men. Like should I be referring to other women as my "sisters"? I don't care for nor trust a strange woman any more than a strange man. I honestly do not care about women just for being women and I shouldn't feel like I have to.

Anonymous 2191

You should only use the term 'sisters' if you enjoy using it. Don't feel like you're forced to. Also, there's no reason why you ought to favor someone just because of their genitalia. That doesn't mean you should expect a man to understand you in the same way that a woman does, but it also doesn't mean that all women automatically will, either.

Anonymous 2195

I have convinced the people around me that I'm an aromantic asexual but I'm just a lonely heterosexual who's given up before trying. I do this mainly for my parents because they're the only people who love me and I'm afraid of telling them which guys I'm attracted to since I'm a closet atheist in a very religious family.

Anonymous 2200

I think that >>2191 is a really eloquent response. You shouldn't feel forced to use the term if you don't feel comfortable with it.

For me, I feel a small connection with other women in that I know that some experiences are almost universal for women. That makes me feel a sense of friendship and camaraderie. Sorry if you don't care about that, but I thought that maybe I could offer a bit of insight as someone who does refer to anons on here as sisters.

Anonymous 2202

maybe I spend too much time on tumblr, lol. it's all those posts about like "girls are all so pretty and wonderful and nice" and that isn't true at all. that kind of culture really irritates me.

Anonymous 2204

incoming feminist sperg, but I think female tumblr is just overcompensating for the sexism they experience irl. I know I am often fearful for my safety when I am in an unfamiliar place with lots of men, but I feel confident that I can walk up to any woman and tell her I feel unsafe… because I know that, 99% of the time, she'll understand and even pretend to be my friend until I can get out of the situation.

Tons of women are cunts, and that's the truth. But there is some shared experience in just being women.

Anonymous 2205

I don't experience any sexism and I don't find myself being fearful of my safety. If there is a strange man and a strange woman around, I'll move closer to the strange woman because I know she is less physically capable of overpowering me

Anonymous 2216

Probably because they get told the opposite in real life and are trying to compensate as >>2204 said. I often will think like that even though I know that realistically girls are as capable of hurting me as guys are. Why do I like thinking like that? Because when I grew up, it was boys who did things, it was boys who were smart, it was better to be cool like a boy than cute/pretty like a girl, girls are unnecessarily mean to each other, you can't trust girls, guys are better friends because they won't backstab you, etc.

I'm curious as to what you define sexism as.

Anonymous 2224

sexism is discrimination based on sex

Anonymous 2226

Discrimination in what context? What do you define discrimination as?

Anonymous 2336


I wish I was either lesbian or bi. But unfortunately I feel no sexual attraction to women whatsoever. I'd consider myself what tumblr kids call "biromantic", but I guess I never fell in love with a girl, probably because somethingsomethingromantic that doesn't go alongside with your sexuality usually doesn't work in the real word. Maybe someday, I don't know?

Having only men as an option for me is just so depressing.

Anonymous 2340


I know how you feel. I've tried having relationships with women twice before and while our connection was great and I felt like I could talk to them about anything, I just could not develop feelings for them in the same way that I do for men. I think I ended up unintentionally hurting them and looking back on it, I wish I had handled it better. The worst thing about that is my relationships with males have been utterly shallow in comparison and mostly built on mutual sexual attraction.

I can't help but question the validity of this "romantic love" bullshit, to me it's purely biological. I don't think I'll ever find what I'm looking for.

Sorry for turning this into the depression olympics.

Anonymous 2358

unnamed (15).gif

My bf is a very kind soul and we always have lots of fun when we chat.
But yeah, here is my petty confession… Brace yourself. And sorry, but I've gotta vent.

Unfortunately… he's sort of dumb. He can be relatively tech savvy sometimes, but that's pretty much it.

Sometimes I feel like having deeper conversations with him, but it's impossible because he's kinda dense and doesn't know much about history, or science, or anything really, to make valid points. I'm not saying I have a big brain, but it's like I'm talking to a middle schooler sometimes.

He just gives his opinion on things and demands people to take his words as facts. I've gotten into heated arguments with him over stupid things like language, grammar and the like.

For example, this is very similar to something that happened to us a couple months ago:

>Bf writing important note. He writes "alot"

>Bf shows me note
>"Hey, good job, bf! You just need to fix that word"
>"Eh gf, but the correct is ALOT"
>try to Google "a lot and alot" to show him he's wrong.
>"Nooo, GF! I don't wanna read that! It's MY OPINION and that's it. Why do people always try to prove me wrong?"

We always argue about the history of our first language. I know for sure how it started and I have books on the topic, but he doesn't want to read them/Google it because "it's my opinion and that's it". He says stuff like "oh, how can people know if our language is really based on Latin if Latin isn't even spoken anymore?"


God, that drives me madder than it should. I'm a teacher so I get upset when I have books, facts and proper research to prove my point and he says that those things are merely "suppositions" and implies that he's the one who is correct and not me/the evidence.
His insistence to stay in the dark also makes me so mad. Our last argument was over Galileo Galilei, believe it or not. And he didn't even know who that was. It's like he never went to school.>>2216

Anonymous 2360


>"oh, how can people know if our language is really based on Latin if Latin isn't even spoken anymore?"

pic related, >mfw

anyway, it makes me furious to no end when people disregard facts because muh opinion, or when they refuse to be corrected because "everyone will understand what I mean, so I don't care."

Anonymous 2364

That's my face too, dear anon. That's my face all the fucking time we have any kind of discussion.
God, I love him and we're very happy, but his stubbornness and lack of basic education is fucked up. He speaks two Romance languages (I only speak ours, but I understand the other language he speaks too because, well, romance languages are very similar because they come from Latin). Well, he keeps saying our language comes from another romance language, the one he speaks fluently. Just because they have similar words. Fuck.

I tried to show him the history of our language and why romance languages have similar words, sounds and the like, but he doesn't want to hear or read anything. AGH.

Anonymous 2366

I can have the most fulfilling friendships with men, love them to death, blah, blah, blah, but when it comes to the intellectual fulfillment (I don't mean anything fancy, just discussions like the ones you mentioned, discussing books I've read, media, etc.), it's like I've never found a guyfriend I can mesh with, often because they are willfully ignorant like your boyfriend. Jesus.

Anonymous 2377

Me and my future husband do non-sexual roleplay as fictional characters. Sometimes with plushes, sometimes online in traditional RP format, sometimes in real life as we're acting out the character. Yes, we actually make stories with them and follow through with it like children.

I dunno what my problem is.

Anonymous 2397

I feel like a lot of women romanticize quiet guys. I hate them. I find them creepy and weird.

Anonymous 2413

People find non-talkative people quiet, awkward, and uncomfortable irl no matter what gender they are. Trust me, I live with that shit.
What people mean is they only like that trope in the movies because they have a chance to see into the character's life and their perspective. In real life, people don't really think about what others are dealing with and get put off by the "mysteriousness" of not knowing them and end up ignoring them or thinking they're ~so weird xD~. Pretty shitty, but that's how society works.

Anonymous 2419

exactly. context also depends heavily on how people receive it irl. if you're quiet and mysterious somewhere where you're not accountable for much and it's not an obstacle then people are more likely to find it interesting. if it's somewhere where people expect or require you to talk a lot then that shit falls apart. take that as you will.

Anonymous 2420

Even as a quiet person myself, I find that shit creepy
and everything >>2413 said

I guess my confession would be that I still like to browse Felice Fawns old blogs that are saved on the web archive. (and I secretly wish there was more of it saved)

Anonymous 2448


sorry but must be done

Anonymous 2459

im evil.jpg

>be me at 14 years old
>found out about porn recentley
>spend night jerking off to weird internet erotica non-stop
>suddenly its like 6:00 am
>hear screams from downstairs
>my dad is super abusive so i ignore him. he's always yelling and being mean. i assume he must be yelling at my mom for no reason as usual.
>hear more arguing
>too lazy to go downstairs to see whats going on
>finish jerking off and fall asleep

>tfw wake up at like 3 pm

>i'm told that dad a heart attack
>he fucking died
>i didn't get to say goodbye. i didn't even get to see him one last time. apperantley while i was "sleeping" my sister and my mother were spending his final moments with him.
>"oh anon, theres nothing you could have done! it was six am! you were asleep! don't feel bad. its fine" - everyone
>except i wasn't. i was jerking off to lesbian cheerleaders or whatever

>be me like 10 years later

>still think about it and feel super bad.
>tfw picked cheerleader erotica over my father's cries for help

i'm taking this feel to the grave. theres no way i'm ever going to tell a therapist about this. true horny teenager feels. i actually hate watching/reading porn ever since. i only do it when i'm real anxious about someting. feel free to judge

Anonymous 2460

So why are you with this guy?
He clearly can't take criticism, and you yourself have said conversations just can't get deeper with him.
Does he just make your girl bits tingle? Because this sounds like a fucking highschool tier "relationship" based on superficial values.

Anonymous 2461

Would you believe me if I said he deserved it?
If he drove you to the point where desperate screams of help, were met with
>Eh, I'd rather beat off
I'd say he didn't deserve any sympathy from that person.

The fact that you feel guilty kind of proves you're not "evil" as well.

Anonymous 2464

I don't think you're evil because

1. How would you have known?
There's no way of knowing someone is going to pass away and you've made it clear that if you KNEW he was going to die, you would have been there too.

2. I think that saying he deserved it is kind of simplistic and you didn't really describe how abusive he was. Not that little abuse is fine, but you got my point. However I think the fact he used to scream a lot reassured you that he was pretty much fine, so that makes us back to the first point. You just couldn't know.

3. You seem to show true regret – even though you shouldn't

I know you will probably always feel guilty but I hope it lessens over time. Be well, anon. And lesbian cheerleaders are hot.

Anonymous 2466

It's a bit funny how you just assumed all of that because of a confession I made.
I'm with him for all the other great qualities he has, which are many. He's always kind, sweet, really fucking funny, loving, passionate, we always have fun together and yeah, he is attractive to me which is a bonus imo. We've been together for 6 years and I'm not with him just because I'm comfortable. Just like everyone else, he has good and bad qualities. Sadly not being able to discuss some stuff that interest me with him sucks ass. I already knew he was like that when we started to get to know each other, but his good qualities overpower the two bad ones.

Anonymous 2468


So your dad had a heart attack in your house, and not only did your family not come get you as it was happening, they didn't come get you in the 10 hour time span between the heart attack and you waking up, nor did they call the paramedics or police who came to retrive the body?

Very cool story bro

Anonymous 2470

There is this… weird kid that is my junior at uni and he's generally very off - I remember that one of our few interactions he would self-pity and humblebrag nonstop, but probably because he was just so socially awkward he didn't know any other way to talk to people aside from small talk.


Today he showed up with nice clothes, a haircut and his voice, for whatever reason, was pretty hoarse, I guess due to a cold, since he was also wearing a scarf.

I am very ashamed to say that, for that split second of small talk, I legit found him attractive.

His personality is probably still very weird, though.

Anonymous 2476

Ah, that's nice.
You two clearly deserve each other, if that's the case.

Anonymous 2477

Rude. Being patronizing is worse than being a bitch to someone's face.

Anonymous 2478

I swear to god, if this is fucking Spoony…

Anonymous 2485

I'll make >>2477 's words my own. This is a confession thread. You were rude for no reason and assumed a bunch of stuff out of your own ass.
I don't know why you are being so snarky, honestly.
Feel free to report my post to ask admin if I'm spoony, but I'm not. This "I bet you're spoony" meme has to die though.

Anonymous 2489

Anonymous 2491

I hate my partner for making me live in an are I completely hate.

I hate my life here

Anonymous 2500


i guess that what hurts me the most is just that i didn't get to say goodbye. I spent years mad at myself for letting my chance to see him that morning go to waste. And when I was over that, I was just mad because of the “what ifs”. like … “what if he had only lived a little more… what If he had changed… what if things had gotten better etc”. It made me mad that I never developed a good relationship with him. And I kept telling myself that if he had lived a little longer maybe he would have changed.

But yeah… looking back, that wouldn’t have happened… people don’t change. Certainly not him. It would have been the same abusive shit. But still, it hurts I guess. Even after all this years. And even if he was mostly an asshole. Even after all the pain he caused. Man, daddy issues suck.

Anonymous 2502


that’s true. i guess I’m so mad because i just didn't know. i had no idea that it was going to be my last chance to see him. i shouldn't blame myself, but my brain always does.

i think it doesn't help the fact that i've never talked about this IRL. that i was awake that morning and didn't go downstairs to see what was happening because i was… well, jerking off… its too shameful/gross and weird for me. so i just let that memory rot in my brain. maybe that's why even after all this time i still feel kind of guilty.

Its really nice to finally hear that maybe I’m not. Maybe I should talk to some professional about this… thank you guys >>2461 >>2464

Anonymous 2503



Or….. I just left out most of the story that didn’t involve me because I was confessing my side of things… since it’s a personal confessions thread… its not that deep


>third world country. Dad has a heart attack.

> Neither mom or sister can drive. Hospital is faaar away, see point1. What I heard at 6am was basically them and dad freaking out and not knowing what to do. Mom, keep in mind that it was his husband of 20+ years that she was losing. She just needed to get him to the hospital fast.
>some aunt takes them to hospital. they spend his final hours with him there. My brother stays home looking after the house/me because point1. They obviously didn’t know he was going to die that day. they just didn’t take me to the hospital because I was very young and didn’t want to leave the house alone.
>Dad has more complications there and dies early afternoon. They call my brother about this and he was the one who gave me the news. brother didn’t say goodbye either.
>all of this was happening while I was asleep because I spent the entire day before jerking off.
>woke up and hear all of this shit and regret not coming downstairs for the rest of my life.
okay i'll admit it feels better to vent this shit out….

I know that not driving/abusive dads/fearing that people will rob your house/not letting woman alone etc may sound weird to outsiders but… those are super normal feels in poor countries

Anonymous 2506

Eh, I have hard time feeling any sympathy for you. I'm a child of an abusive parent and I hated the most the people who knew about it/heard things but decided to do nothing. You're even worse, you assumed your mother is getting hurt but you decided jerking off is more important.

Anonymous 2507

It's understandable, Anon. I can relate to the whole
>Can't help wanting to get along with your parents
Even if they're abusive and you know you shouldn't even give them the time of day.

Anonymous 2513

You're being a brat considering this is a confessions thread, but everyone is free to assume whatever. Also it looks like the other anon assumed correctly that you're a bitch.

Anonymous 2522

well that escalated quickly

Anonymous 2531


> fresh of the boat mom and stepdad moved to first world country
> mom cheats on stepdad who is incredibly abusive towards me
> mom ends relationship with said guy
> mom is suddenly happy to announce a "very wanted pregnancy"
> the kid has the bluest eyes you have ever seen
> mom is white but has brown eyes
> stepdad has muddy green eyes

My mom " suddenly" discovers one of her ancestors has blue eyes

> second pregnancy ( after my mom broke up with said guy )

> has brown eyes and is dark af

My stepdad used to think that he was better than everyone ( said it often) and it's now a fitness geek and my mom is stuck as a midrange housewife that hates her life most of the time

I don't feel bad at all because she let him abuse me often

Mom had to go back to a job she hated because she had 2 kids in this expensive as hell country

Anonymous 2537


I wish I could try weed because a friend from another country told me it'd help me relax a lot

But I don't know anyone who does weed, I don't have many friends and they're all against it… I have no idea where to get it either since it's illegal in my country.


Anonymous 2538

whisper app

Anonymous 2546

Will check it out ty

Anonymous 2548

I had the same situation with my dumb abusive mom. The guys will all take off within 5 years or so. Don't let the kids grow on you, my siblings are the loves of my life and its killing me not to live near them anymore.

Anonymous 2556

it's not all that. depending on the strain, your mindset, and a fuckload of other things, it won't necessarily relax you. things can turn dark very easily. i know a lot of people who do it a lot start to get paranoia and other people who become addicted to it have withdrawals. its not going to solve your issues.

Anonymous 2559

No, you were really just a kid. He was an abuser, you were scared, and filled with insatiably raging hormones. You didn't get your goodbye, which sucks, but there's no way to have known that a guy who usually screams with anger was screaming in pain. Its your own shadow of guilt and you have to deal with it, but its there for no reason.

Anonymous 2560

I know it'll come across like I'm just another giant weeb (there's a white kid at my university that wears robes and claims he's a "Japanese monk"), but I stumbled across reading about Samurai and their beliefs and culture and martial arts practice and something just really clicked.

I'm not planning on dressing in shitty ebay kimonos and carrying knives and calling myself a Ronin, but I've always felt like modern life lacked deeper meaning and purpose and I feel like maybe getting into practicing martial arts might help that?

A lot of people into martial arts here are /r9k/ level weeb guys and I'm not sure what they'll think of my WGTOW Samurai quest.
Not that I care that guys won't find me attractive, I'm 90% sure I'm a dyke anyway, but that's for another confession…

Anonymous 2567

There are squirrels in the attic above my bathroom.
The house is big enough that no one else hears them, but they're getting more active. I don't dare tell my father because I don't want him to do anything bad or hurt them in order to get rid of them, but I'm just realizing that if it's a nest that means like six squirrel babies. Six squirrel babies are not going to be as quiet, well-behaved, or wise as the adult squirrels are. I'm not looking to have squirrels racing around my ankles while I pee but I feel like I have no choice and I'm locked into the path I've chosen.

If my posts suddenly become more frequent, erratic, and nut-oriented, please call for help, it means they've stolen my phone and are trying to take over my identity. At least maybe they'll get better marks than I do.

Anonymous 2569

they aren't going to leave, let him know so they don't cause damage to the house

Anonymous 2570

There are humane catch and release traps you could use to catch the mama and then pick the babies up and put them outside next to the cage before releasing her.

Of course this could backfire terribly, with the mom running away and leaving orphan squirrel babies for you to raise. The good news is that you'd have a few adorable squirrels who would trust and love you. I knew someone (an adult) with a pet squirrel as a child. She'd saved it as a baby and it was incredibly trusting. I'm not sure how 5 or 6 would work out but…YOLO?

Anonymous 2571

*When I was a child I knew a fellow adult with a pet squirrel

Anonymous 2581


I really want to be married to my boyfriend. I've always believed that unless you are religious or want children in the future, there is really no point in getting tangled up in a marriage. Neither one of those factors apply to us, but I still want to have him as my husband. It's so stupid that I feel this way. Rationally I know that being married to him would not change our relationship in anyway other than the fact that now the state would be involved in it, which is not something that I want. I haven't told anyone about it, I don't want it getting back to him somehow. He doesn't want to be married, and we are both happy right now. I feel so dumb thinking about it so much.

Anonymous 2591

I half admitted about the squirrels to my parents, and it turns out I'm not the only one who noticed it. My mother said she doesn't care as long as they're not mice, and my father said that they're actually chipmunks, not squirrels (I've only heard them, not seen them). He's interacted with the parent chipmunk in the barn and the chipmunk is apparently fairly intelligent: my father was working in the barn and had a blood sugar drop and got dizzy, and the chipmunk, who had been watching him, squeaked at him and dropped a peanut out of his hole in the ceiling, almost like he knew it would help him. So everyone is willing to wait and see if they vacate on their own and unconcerned if they hibernate in the attic.

We've had a chipmunk get into our house before and he didn't do much damage aside from stealing from the cat's bowl of meow mix and hiding them places like under the couch cushions and inside the linen closet. The most destructive thing was that he made off with one of my mother's vintage antimacassars from the front sitting room in the night. Hopefully this chipmunk will be as polite.

Anonymous 2615


Can I come live in this magical fairytale with you, Anon?

Anonymous 2727


You want security in your relationship, what's embarrassing about that?

Anonymous 2728


I have a boyfriend of 3+ years and we have a very healthy sexual life and yet I still flush and have to make pauses to recollect myself when reading (well written) smut fanfics. I feel like such a baby lol

Anonymous 2984


Ok, confession time.
> had a big lessie crush in school, it wasn't just curiosity, something deeper was going on
> rejected badly, in a pull me along but never give in teasy way.
> figure I better go normie, date a pimpleheaded guy just to fit in and at least say "look,I got laid and I'm not a lessie!"
>years pass, increasingly awkward around women, never have women friends… start despising women and female qualities.
>adore violence, act tough proud of my male dominated success path.
>go on /pol, realise all the bitter fuckheads out there are just like me.
>get very curious about their behavior, talk about personal issues with them
>butthurts.jpg every single one of them have the same issue; rejetion
>realise what tot I've been, how crude my misandry was.
>look up feminine msg board, see that it's superior to other chans in every way, more polite, more constructive and way more intellectually stimulating.
>realise how fucking helpless and uncivilized most guys are
>feel lost
>really, not sure what to do…

Anonymous 2985

I want to have a threesome with my bf and his best friend

Anonymous 2992


Make it happen anon

Anonymous 2996

You might begay him.

Anonymous 2997



Y-yeh, be careful, Anon.

Anonymous 3005


Maybe that's exactly what i'm into

Anonymous 3051

The idea of a threesome is hot on itself but Id be afraid one of the guys want to put it in my pooper and thats a definite NO>¥.

Anonymous 3059


this tho

Anonymous 3066

me too

i'd be down to that tbh but it'd have to be my bf because i trust him

Anonymous 3280


If I ever broke up with my bf (very unlikely because we're very much in love and have been together for a long time) I would probably go fully gay. I've identified as bisexual for years but sometimes I wonder if I'm just fooling myself saying I have a preference for men. I don't know. It's weird. Part of me wants to have a relationship with men, the old-school, fairy tale type between man and woman, but… I don't think I'd be 100% happy.

Part of me feels like I won't be fully happy in a relationship that isn't between me and a girl – I'm happy in mine because he's an exception but most guys wouldn't be. I am very happy with my guy because it's him, but after him, I don't think I'd go back to men again, unless if I gave in to the pressure my religious family has on me.

Unfortunately at the same time I can't deny I feel attracted to men too, but falling in love with women and their beauty, including sexual, seems so much easier and natural.

Am I just your average bisexual, or am I a lipstick lesbian trying to discover herself?

I genuinely feel like I need to love people to feel attracted to them, and gender is unimportant in the equation (there are only 2 genders to me though). Is that a thing?

I'm in my mid 20s with very little experience, but shouldn't I know what I am at this point?
Is sexuality really fluid or is that just Tumblr nonsense?

Someone send help…

Anonymous 3283


In short, sexuality is fluid for some, but never all. It's commonplace with bisexuals that they may lean more towards one end of the spectrum. You aren't a lesbian. You'd be very sure of your sole attraction to women if you were gay. But you seem to idealize the heterosexual fairy-tale while simultaneously idealizing the lesbian fairy-tale. The grass is never greener. It's the luck of the draw both ways. But I'm going to be wearing a dress with my wife.

Anonymous 3284

Anon, thank you for responding. I was high when I posted that and I don't even know if I made much sense lol. Sometimes I miss being in love with a woman, and a woman's body. I think that's why I felt that way and asked myself that last night. Thank you for your kind reply, I think everything you said is correct, and i hope you're very happy with your future wife <3

Anonymous 3287

Anon, I can't provide you with any sort of advice because I am as well experiencing similar emotions and thoughts. The other day a friend of mine asked me if I would ever marry a girl and my answer was no. This made me starting thinking about my sexuality again because I love girls but would only ever want a relationship with a man. Sometimes I don't know if it's due to society or how I actually feel. Being bisexual is confusing sometimes, but when I divide the way I like people based of sexual feelings and emotional, it's easier to place things.

Anonymous 3289

You sound like you're straight and just like the idea of women. Please don't fuck it up for real bisexuals. Would you actually get into a relationship or have sex with a girl?

Anonymous 3298

I'm not sure about a relationship (and I think what's stopping me is my family's homophobic views and my fear of those close to me judging me) but I would have sex

Anonymous 3313

Most religious parents are ok with a daughter who has sex with several guys or boyfriends a year, but will get fucking pissed if she brings home a steady girlfriend. Amazing.

Anonymous 3504

I get it that being a lifestyle goth and into Victorian mourning culture doesn't mean that you're depressed all the time, but there seems to be a fine line between appreciating death and wanting to be dead yourself. It's that moment when the cemetery stops being just pretty and the people buried there seem to be calling you to join them. You get a feeling like you're sinking into dark, murky water and the whole world seems grey. I think I want to be dead. Dead with my grandparents, and their grandparents, and their grandparents, dead with my friends, and dead with my cats. Everybody I liked best has died, and everyone who loved me has died, and it's starting to feel like putting flowers on their graves isn't enough, I don't want to leave the cemetery, and I don't want to leave them.

Not meaning to be an edgelord, I guess it's just time to stregnthen my antidepressants. Again.

Anonymous 3542

It's complicated being gothic and being depressed, when you try to talk to someone everyone immediately says: "If you're depressed, maybe you shouldn't wear so much black!" like as if that's going to solve anything.

Anonymous 3614

My partner makes fun of my feet sometimes (Greek feet. Small, but Greek feet anyway) and I pretend it doesn't bother me or he will never stop because he can be very childish sometimes, but it fucking does.. I don't even like wearing sandals of anything that shows my toes anymore.

Anonymous 3628

Underneath how weird and interesting and capable I seem, and that goofy smile permanently on my face, is a twisted and depressed mind that's unsure of whether or not it can really take care of itself alone.

I really need more persistent friends or just someone to cling to, because the more time I spend alone thinking the more time my thoughts get to cloud with tear-worthy memories and thoughts, and my will gets tested again and again. Amazed I haven't snapped or become a worthless mush yet, but I imagine this really can't go on.

Anonymous 3762


I guess I could be considered a player or teaser for the lack of a better word. I start romantic relationships with men and women and drop them without thinking much. Not because I'm not interested in them, I am, but I lose interest very fast. I don't like doing it because I feel like it's not fair, but at the same time I can't force myself to stay interested in someone. Ironically all my past official relationships lasted years.
I won't say I'm promiscuous because I don't get to fuck them, I just get flirty then quickly romantically involved before anything like that happens.

I guess that when I fall in love with someone, love hits me hard, and my feelings for the person are very steady. If I'm not in love then poof, bye.

Anonymous 3773

-i have no friends in real life nor on social media and it fills me with shame.
-in college people treat me like a special needs kid or they just straight up mock me to my face.
-i stalk my gf social media everyday and see her having fun with her friends and i'm just like :( ok
-i was raped and i post it on anon all the time but i have never dealt with the trauma irl. so i have no social skills and i constantly look like a scared child.
-i want to killmyself but i don't want to make my mom feel bad because i'm the youngest son and it will look bad(YOU CANT SIT WITH US)

Anonymous 3776

firstly, inb4 (YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US)

secondly, join groups on facebook and shitpost/meme farm, it's a good way to meet randoms or find stuff that happening in your local area.

> gf

404 pity not found - I almost stopped reading here.

> i was raped and i post it on anon all the time but i have never dealt with the trauma irl

the internet isn't really equipped to help you properly with that, you need to see a counselor/therapist - it's probably not going to get easier until you let it out.

> i want to killmyself but i don't want to make my mom feel bad

yea don't be a cunt, but also don't do it for your own sake; being anhero isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm not going to spoon-feed you some feel good pop-psychology, you need professional help.

Anonymous 3781

Ot but you're the same guy who's been here the last few days ban evading, no? Why do you keep outing yourself? Legitimately curious. If you wanna ban evade so you can post why not just be quiet about it?

Anonymous 3784

Because men have to let everyone know that they're a man at all times innit
How else will we know they have a dick?

Anonymous 3789

He's not the ban evader.

Anonymous 3790

Sorry I thought you were referring to >>3773
>>3776 may or may not be the ban evader, but I see no reason to assume that.(YOU CANT SIT WITH US)

Anonymous 3792

Just to be clear, you can't 'inb4' in reference to your own posts (so I was basically inb4'ing the previous poster's inevitable ban). What is it that makes you assume my gender from that post?

What for this time? Is this the first time you've been given any authority, because based on how over-eager to exercise it you are, it really seems like it. All that ban does it show once again that mods = faguettes.

Anonymous Admin 3793

The user was banned because it's still the same male who's been unable to take a ban for the past couple of days, whiteknighting himself.

Anonymous 3799

"Faguettes". Yeah, right. I would rather see them get banned and not "sit" with us than letting them free to sperg all over the boards. Seriously, I don't give two shits if a guy posts here as long as he doesn't mention his gender all the time. What's so hard about it? If they can't post without saying they're men they need to get banned.

Anonymous 3802


A hot guy I know hugged me this week when we heard some really good news, and I felt my whole body melt. He's engaged though, so there's no way I will try anything, plus he's never done anything flirty. It was just a 3 sec long innocent hug tbqh, but fuuuuuck. I've also noticed I keep lusting after him when he's distracted, so I will watch myself better. I'm probably just horny because I'm so fucking alone.

Anonymous 3815

I act as autistically as I can in terms of social norms. I recognize them, but I just don't care to follow them.

Anonymous 3818

Suzy Berhow is a talentless POS but I'm jealous of her life. Not so much the fame aspect, but being able to just have fun traveling to Japan and Disney all the time and doing nothing but playing games as a job. Having that amount of money and free time seems like a dream.

Anonymous 5002

My cousin was in a car accident and is now in the hospital with serious injuries, internal bleeding, broken vertebrae and so on.

My entire family is crying, but I can't feel bad because

- this is the 2nd time in a year or two for this to happen and he doesn't learn from it because he wants to emulate the men in our family, who have all made a career out of racing sports (mainly bicycles and cars)

- he is a countryside hick and can't find a better use for his time than driving recklessly and endangering other lives

- I grew up very close to him, he was a very angry kid who killed his pets a canary that disappeared mysteriously and a cat he stuffed into a linen sack and beat it against a tree and was verbally and physically aggressive towards everyone including his parents

- he tried to molest me when we were younger (we're the same age), he'd try to convince me to perform sexual acts on him all the time and when we were 12 he masturbated in a room with me and my brother (who did molest me) and insisted on showing his sperm around

TL;DR he's a careless driver, has anger issues and deserves the pain he's in

fight me

Anonymous 5003

Why would I fight you? He sounds like a sick fuck and he deserved that shit. He caused it, since he's a reckless driver. I just won't wish death on him because I don't wish death even on the people who hate me for no reason irl, but some long time in a wheelchair would do this molester good.
You don't have to feel bad, anon. He sounds like a prick. Let your family cry, but be sure you don't owe him anything.

Anonymous 5004


Yeah he sounds like a piece of shit and your feelings (or lack there of) are completely valid.

Anonymous 5007

fuck me, I went to apologize to my mother (who relayed the news to me) for not being very emotional and said I'm just concerned because it's not the first time, he does it recklessly (as my mother said herself) and he could have killed an entire family. She simply said she doesn't want to think about that. I get it, of course she's concerned, but still he did something that could've killed a bunch of people and is giving him and his family a lot of pain, and for nothing. His mother (my aunt) didn't think he'd survive the first crash, and now she's going through this once more. Just because he's a selfish idiot who can't control himself. We have a lot of highways with no speed limits. You can probably imagine how fast he was going.

Anonymous 5010

that's karma, hun

Anonymous 5011

I was legit an underage stripper and prostitute.

Anonymous 5013

>>5011 oh jeez anon. That must be a very odd thing to look back on. I hope you're safe <3

Anonymous 5017

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I hope that you are no longer hurting, and if you are, that you will find peace and happiness.

Anonymous 5042

I'm gay but I have weird drems about getting raped by men and enjoying it.

Anonymous 5077


I wish I could just stop living. Death seams like eternal rest. I don't want to wake up, go to work and do things. I just want to sleep forever.

Anonymous 5080

Me too, anon.

Anonymous 5087


I'm with you girls.

Anonymous 5088

Anonymous 5091


c.c is incredibly morbid and depressing tonight

And i like that!
Here everyone, have some special drawn delish cyanide cake with cinnamon and brown sugar! Enjoy!

Anonymous 5092

I wish more than anything I had something to cut with right now, but my boyfriend would be upset and might tell his parents out of concern. I think they'd threaten to kick me out of the house if they knew I had a history of self-harm.

I also have PTSD and don't manage my symptoms very well on my own. Trauma counseling isn't covered under my insurance and the one woman I found who goes low enough on her sliding scale that I can just barely afford to pay for sessions keeps leaving town, rescheduling my appointments, or even outright fucking forgetting my appointments, so I'll just show up to her office and she won't be there.

It seems to get harder and harder for me to bounce back each time I have a set back. For at least 3 years now, I've felt like I no longer enjoy a lot of the hobbies I used to enjoy and most days I don't really feel like getting out of bed. People know that I'm struggling, but I guess I'm not bad enough to warrant any sort of serious attention, and I'm not about to do something drastic and manipulative to prove otherwise. I'm trying to help myself but I can't do this on my own and it seems like the people in my life either don't care, or don't know how to help me.

Kind of feels like I'm just waiting to die at this point tbh.

Anonymous 5117

you threw away the used garlic, right?

Anonymous 5118

I have been burning paper with curses to my ex written on it

Anonymous 5123

Even if that doesn't have a real effect on him (I mean because it probably doesn't) it's a good idea because it can be therapeutic for you. I suggest a voodoo doll lol

Anonymous 5126


Good idea! I've been meaning to make a puppet for him back when we were together, but he left before I could even finish it. With all the materials on hand, I could actually start making one and keep all my sewing pins stabbed in it haha

Anonymous 5139

Does your family know what he's done? You shouldn't feel bad for not feeling anything, the things he has done are vomit inducing. Animal abusers and molesters have their own special place in hell. You shouldn't feel the need to apologise to your mother for all the suffering he has brought upon others that he most likely doesn't feel sorry about. Please don't feel guilty.

Anonymous 5159

I'm very close to jump the bones of my friend's two year long crush. He's my friend as well, he's pretty cute and nice to talk to, but dating him… first, it would break her heart. Secondly, I feel like these feelings of mine aren't really serious, and I don't even know if he likes me back.
>inb4 underage
Unfortunately, I'm 18 and a perma, kissless virgin. I would like to pretend I could, ya know, get a boyfriend like everyone does? But in reality I don't know many guys and unless I know them for a while I'm really awkward around them.
My friend is a virgin as well and she straight up obsessed to this guy, which I can't even relate to because my "crushes" have almost always been on guys I saw around school without knowing them kek. Idek if it would be less assholish to do it if she moved on, but still. I don't want to turn every single girl in our group their back on me because I decided I had to fuck her eternal love. That is, if he even would.
Sorry for the big ass astigmatism. In the end I won't do anything cause I'm a pussy, but it makes me feel bad, to think about it. And to be so desperate I'd date a guy who I might not even really like.

Anonymous 5163

>kissless virgin
You still have a shot tbh. I know you're very behind but you're still a teenager, it's not over.

Anonymous 5164

Agreed. 18 is still way young

Anonymous 5167

I'm 20 going 21 and a kisseless virgin as well, so 18 is super young and not that weird tbh, you have a lot of time to find someone, no age is too old.

The only thing that bothers me about it is that i would be considered weird by most people if i told them, but otherwise i don't have any desire to go and do everything just to do it because at "my age" it's not normal or whatever, i'd rather wait until i feel like it's the time and person and i am sure of my feelings before rushing into something and regretting it later.
I personally think it's best for you to consider your feelings and wether you are doing something to "catch up" or because you actually like it/want to do it.
What i am trying to say is, consider your feelings first and leave the "what i should have done before x age" as your last thought, and then you will have your answers as to wether you actually want to be with this guy. Don't rush into anything just out of pressure, that will only make you borderline miserable in the long run.
Would you rather look back on your first time as something positive or as a "what if" situation?

Anonymous 5195

I feel less aggressive ever since I stopped frequenting lolcow and some 4chan boards.
Did this happen for anyone else who stopped going there?

Anonymous 5196

I wouldn't say aggressive in my case, but I'm not as insanely judgemental as before.

Anonymous 5198

what >>5196 said

Anonymous 5211

Yeah, much so.

Anonymous 5223

You used to go on 4chan or lolcow?

Anonymous 5224

Several people here did/do. There's a thread on it in /b/

Anonymous 5226

Yeah, ever since i come to cc instead of going to lolcow i feel a lot more "positive" in general.

A lot of people from here come from LC, actually. This site started from a post on /g/ (or /ot/ not sure). I'm sure we are getting more userbase from different sites now, but LC users were mostly the first to come here and stay.

Anonymous 5260


I creepily snapped a picture of this really cute guy at my work who works in a different department than me when he sat at a table directly across from where my phone was facing in the break room. I dont even do anything with the picture, it just sits in my camera roll but I feel really gross and weird that I even had that thought and took his pic without him knowing. I almost feel like those creeper fetishists that take upskirt shots and ass shots of random women in casual places.

Anonymous 5261

You should delete it, it's only right.

Anonymous 5262

My secret is I have a huge crush on my male bestfriend of 10 years. There is zero chance of us getting together.

My confession is that a couple of weekends I "accidentally" sent him a picture of me in my bra and panties.

Anonymous 5277

you're ok lol. unless it's embarrassing it's not a big deal

Anonymous 5281

Well why is there a "zero chance"??

Anonymous 5297

>My confession is that a couple of weekends I "accidentally" sent him a picture of me in my bra and panties.
How did he respond?

Anonymous 5298

Oops, meant to reply to >>5262

Anonymous 5299

He's happily married and so was I till recently.


He didn't really say anything other than,"uhh?" I quickly said, "opps wrong chat." Later told him I was drunk and on tinder.

Anonymous 5306

She doesn't HAVE to delete it unless it makes her uncomfortable because it wasn't taken in a private place like a house or apartment, it was a semi public place – her work. The guy wasn't naked, half naked, or in his underwear, and she's not gonna post it anywhere, so she can keep it.

People forget everyone now has a phone and a built in camera. I know it sucks balls but there are way more pics of you out there but your selfies, family and friends photos. It's one of the downsides to living in the 21th century imo.

Anonymous 5307

Sage because I'll samefag now. When I was a teenager one of my close cousins had this mad crush on a guy we didn't know and asked me to ask him for a pic. Like I went up to this total stranger at this event for no reason and asked to take a pic with him…which he did. How strange. I remember she cherished that fucking pic for years lol. Looking back I can't believe I did something like that. Maybe that's why I don't think Anon having an innocent pic of this dude taken at work is such a big deal even though I understand why it's a bit creepy…

Anonymous 5308

Earlier I wanted to say that was really desperate and pathetic of you, but turns out it's even worse…
You sent a selfie in a lingerie to a married men? WTF is wrong with you? What did you count on? For him to cheat on his wife and have an affair with you?
I bet the wife trusts you are just his friend and yet you pull the shit. I'm glad that your married friend proved he's not a cheating piece of shit. Still awful of you to do that. While it's the person in the relationship responsibility to not cheat, pulling moves on people in monogamous, committed relationship is hoe behavior.

Anonymous 5309

Nta and I do agree it's pathetic. The guy could also get in a huge problem for no reason since he has nothing with her. What could have happened if his wife saw his phone? Lots of couples don't have secrets when it comes to their phones. How would have anon fixed that shit? Maybe "I was drunk" wouldn't fool his wife.

Anon, I know this is the secrets and confessions thread so I don't want to be overly judgemental, but please never do this type of shit again.

Anonymous 5311

The sad truth is I have no idea why I did it. Nor do I have any idea what I expected from him. It was right after my divorce. I went threw this period where it was like somebody else was controlling my body.

Like I already know he isn't going to cheat on his wife. It's why I stated nothing will happen between us. We've already tried in our teen years. It didn't really work out then.

Just for a point if fact his girlfriend did see the picture. Bought the lie and even got me to take her lingerie shopping.

Anonymous 5312

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>Just for a point if fact his girlfriend did see the picture. Bought the lie and even got me to take her lingerie shopping.

God what a blind trusting fool. Not because of you exactly, but she should open her eyes a little. That's just dumb. That's the type of woman who sees her naked husband with a flaming gay guy in their bed and thinks they were watching Netflix and chilling.

Anyway good luck anon, I'm glad you won't do that ever again. Internet hug!

Anonymous 5319

When I was 14 my neighbor got arrested for molesting his daughter a classmate of mine. The only evidence was a few Polaroids of him fucking young girl with our school school uniform on. They couldnt make out her face and just let assumed it was his daughter. I told my parents it was me and it was consensual. Which I thought it was at the time. They forbid me from telling anybody and even took me to a "therapist" to convince me it didn't happen.

Anonymous 5449


I wrote a fake confession to a uni social media page pretending to be a person interested in getting to know me, just to see what people thought of me/if they noticed me around or if I'm truly as invisible as I feel I am.

I actually haven't, but I'm strongly considering doing so. I am so fucking pathetic.

Anonymous 5454

i'd do it if it's anonymous.

anyway, i had a very low quality sext session with some stranger. won't go into details but it was very. very lq.

still got off though ahaha

Anonymous 5460

Anon, do it and then post back here with results.

Anonymous 5471

this whole story confuses me.

he did fuck you, or you told people he did when he didn't, but then you eventually believed he didn't, too?

and two, even if he did do that to you, how do you know he didn't do that to his daughter, also?

Anonymous 5533


I don't think I've ever truly loved my mom. She's abusive and weak and I cringe every time she sends me bombardments of texts acting like we're besties. As if my entire childhood of her screaming at me, calling me a bitch, selfish, useless, slapping me or hurling dinnerware at me out of nowhere, didn't happen. As if all the times I had such horrible panic attacks I felt like I was going to die, she didn't act like it was nothing but an inconvenience for her to deal with me, or didn't outright tell me to piss off out of her room. As if when I tried to confide in her that I was raped by my ex boyfriend, she didn't throw up her hands, tell me "I can't listen to this," and leave the room. As if she provided me with the bare fucking minimum of necessary emotional support and encouragement to bolster my self-esteem and allow me to grow up feeling like I was worth more to the world than just my looks, rather than just nagging me shave my armpits, maintain my nails, regularly get highlights in my hair, and repeatedly remind me how lucky I was to be, "so much prettier and skinnier than I was at your age."

My dad divorced her when I was in high school and remarried one of his coworkers, with whom he'd been having an affair for at least a year. It's been over a decade since then and my mom still finds some way to talk smack about both of them in every phone conversation we have. Calling him a bastard who abandoned his children (despite him making more of an effort to be part of my life than she does), calling my step-mom a whore, etc. Ten fucking years and she's still acting like a victim. Like her inability to be an adult had absolutely nothing to do with why my dad left her.

Honestly, my step-mom and I don't have a whole lot in common, yet she's still leagues above my own mom in terms of stability and the ability to be a good wife and mother. I feel much safer and happier spending time with her, even if I think what she and my dad did all those years ago is awful.

My mom suffers from depression and drinks a lot. She didn't have a very good childhood, but she refuses to see therapists because they won't coddle her. She essentially refuses any form of constructive criticism, so she never improves. It's really hard for me to have sympathy for her when she won't seek help.

As I've said, I don't think I love my mom. I don't know if our bond can ever be repaired, but I do hope she manages to find peace through her own means. I also hope that one day I can forgive her.

Anonymous 5572



this just reads like a SVU episode and is probably fake tbh. not trying to fight you, its just that the way you told this story sounds a little too movie-drama like. if its true then i'm sorry


make a fake facebook account with fake pics and shit and private stuff. then send it to the fb/insta/whatever page. sure, it might be "anonymous" to post there. but you never know if one of the admins there is someone from your class or something like that.

real talk, there was a guy who did this in my uni. a loner who was super creepy and always treated girls like shit. no one liked him. not because he was shy (like i suppose you are) but because he harrassed girls and bragged about being a "youtuber" and his #youtubefame #youtubemoney. anyways, he self posted in the fb page. he made a post pretending to be a girl who had a crush on himself. everyone could tell right through it because no girl ever talked to him like that/no one fucked with him like that. also it had his #im a fucking idiot style of writing. so all the comments were about how he was self posting. and the next days of uni people made jokes to his face about "hey wheres your girl, dude?". everyone knew it was self posted. admins didn't like him either and didnt delete all the posts mocking him. people made fun of him IRL about it for weeks because it was so sad & pathetic. i would have felt bad but it was kinda funny and i insist that he had a history of being a creep so people didn't like him…

so anon if you're hated in your uni, you will find out. if they don't care about you, you'll get two likes and people will move on. either way, being ignored >>>>>>>> getting made fun of

Anonymous 5581

i want to kill myself right now

Anonymous 5582


Anonymous 5623

I never learned how to ride a bike since my family never owned one. I also don't know how to swim, we never went to the sea side, the rivers here aren't safe and my parents don't like going to pools and stuff.

¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

Anonymous 5707

I don't know where else to put this, so here goes.

I think there may have been an incident in my early childhood that I've been repressing, but I know that it's just as likely that I'm just armchair diagnosing myself with bullshit.
Why I think something happened:

>my father was abusive and violent towards my mother and brother, she left him, he killed himself when i was 4 years old
>she refuses to talk about what happened and cries
>very unpopular, but somehow still manage to have sexual relationships with 3 of my female friends where we experimented with each other, these girls were all on a higher social rank and dominant towards me when in public but nicer when alone. Started in late elementary school and continued for years
>molested by two male relatives but it was written off as being boys in puberty and i still seeked their attention
[spoiler]v>couldn't reach an orgasm until my mid-20s, always felt like something is 'disconnected', it's like watching a movie and at the most intense moment, the soundtrack goes on mute.

>when I started being sexually active, I was in intense pain every time so much as a finger entered me. The first time my boyfriend fingered me, I felt completely stiff and had a weird sensation of doom.
>Later turns out I have vaginismus
>consistent history of unhealthy/abusive relationships with older guys

I don't know

Anonymous 5736


post the picture
i swear i won't cuck u

Anonymous 5741

I get these random, intense obsessions with certain men. I fantasize all these weird (usually sexual tbh) scenarios involving them. Then I just drop it and forget. I have a boyfriend and I'd never pursue them, but I enjoy the fantasy while it lasts.

Last year it was this cute security guard at work who lives in his van (not even kidding). Right now it's this guy who works at a jewelry store in the mall I work at and a sort of creepy Japanese artist that I follow on Instagram.

Anonymous 5742

while it's unfortunately always possible, i wouldn't get too paranoid about those things alone because nothing sticks out as super abnormal. I also never orgasmed until a late age and penetration was always really painful until recently. It just took me a long time to have enough confidence and mental stability to enjoy my sexuality and understand what I like. I'm also bi, not sure if you are, but that also made it harder for me to relax enough to enjoy sex with men, because part of me was always worried that maybe I was gay and my attraction to men was just muh compulsory heterosexuality, so I didn't have the comfort of knowing that even if it hurts initially it'll feel good if I relax enough. As for falling into relationships with abusive older men, I think having a bad and ultimately nonexistent relationship with your father and being sexually abused by your other relatives would be enough to explain that. "Daddy issues" is a rough term but a fuck ton of people who have a bad relationship with their father end up subconsciously looking for someone who's kind of similar to them to try and replace it.

It's some hard stuff to deal with and I'm sorry that you're going through it but to me personally, nothing jumps out as needing some other horrible hidden explanation.

It just seems like you've had a bumpy road with your sexuality and while that's not "normal" per se, i think it's well within the average experience for a woman without a horrible repressed childhood event.

Anonymous 5745

I deleted it but even if I did still have it, I wouldn't post it for obvious reasons. Your creepy post isn't very inviting either.

I've seen people post pictures from their phone onto imageboards and other anons somehow found their location just from looking at the details of the picture using whatever program. No thanks.

Anonymous 5747

i'm 18 and i can't drive lol

Anonymous 5750

Wow you're really young. I remember a lot of people in another thread saying they're in their late 20s and can't drive. It's not a big deal either way but especially not at your age.

Anonymous 5751

I’m 20 and can’t drive lol

I’m feeling really guilty because on the weekend I drinkenly wore someone else’s shoes home from a party. I feel like I should fess up somehow but I wonder if it’s too late now.

Anonymous 5752

Adding on, I don’t know who’s shoes they are and only knew a few people at the party.

Anonymous 5754

I'm 25 :/ and I still can't.

Anonymous 5755

same! i admit my life would be easier if i knew how to drive but it isnt that big of a deal since there is public transport everywhere here.

Anonymous 5757

I need some advice.

tl;dr my hair has been falling out, suffer from acne all over my body (milder on face), body hair getting hairier but regular periods

Tested androgen levels are higher than average but don't exceed the norm. OBGYN now scheduled me for an endovaginal echography (stick in vagina) to test for ovarian cysts.

I really don't wanna do it but I really also don't want to have cysts/PCOS and not know about it.

I'm super insecure and have never had a gyn look at my vajay. Let alone stick something up there.
On top of that I told her I already had sexual contact bc I was too ashamed to admit I'm a virgin.
But I'm scared she'll notice I'm still one once she puts it up there.

Anyone else have any experience related to PCOS/this kind of echography? :((

Anonymous 5761

You should have told her, obviously. She's a doctor and they're used to that kind of thing, trust me you're not the only adult virgin they've had as a patient. Stick in vagina thing will only hurt badly if she doesn't do it right. You can tell her you've never had any medical tests like that done and ask her to be very careful, and she will probably be. I hope that helps.
I don't have PCOS, etc so i can't help with that but I hope everything goes well!

Anonymous 5762

I've had it done. It seems to be part of a standard yearly check up here. It's a bit uncomfortable but done real quick, in like 3 minutes max. Just listen to what your gyno is saying to distract yourself, or look at the screen and it'll be over faster than you'd expect it to.

Anonymous 5763


I have PCOS and I do that frequently.

First of all, tell your doctor you've never had sex. FOR REAL. It changes the procedure. I am not sure either they use a smaller object to insert, but that's probably the case.

Also, you probably have PCOS. It's not a big deal, like, you're gonna live your life normally, but it sucks. Like, you're gonna gain a feel kgs and your acne is gonna be a pain in the ass as well as the hair, also depending on your PCOS type, your gonna feel a lot of cramps and probably won't be able to eat certain foods without hurting afterwards, but again, it's not like it's something crppling or anything.

For further questions, there's a PCOS thread on /hb/.

Anonymous 5775

i have the hugest crush on this celeb one year younger than me.
he's, 17, and…..still in high-school due to the way education works over there (but it's his last year!)
and we'll be the same age when his b-day rolls around in march….idk. i just wanted to get it out there ;; i just think he's too damn cute

Anonymous 5781

Anon, it sounds to me like you have a pretty consistent history of abuse and trauma. I don't think you need to worry about having repressed anything; what you wrote was enough. Even the fact that you mention being molested was "written off" I would think could factor into why you continued to experience relationships with abusive people later in life. If the people you were supposed to trust at that age made you believe this was normal and even blamed you for it, you may have internalized this notion of abuse being a.) okay, and b.) your fault in some way, at an impressionable age. Had you been taught this isn't okay, that those people who molested you were in the wrong, and that you are not to blame for their behavior, I imagine things would have turned out differently for you in terms of the people you went on to date and experiment sexually with.

I'm not saying that this is the sole reason for any of your later problems, but these patterns of behavior tend to be pretty consistent in people, meaning whoever told you that it was your fault you were molested likely repeated similar scenarios in which maltreatment/abuse/self-neglect was normalized for you.

Also, and I'm simplifying this a lot…the thing about trauma is that it sort of gets trapped in the nervous system. Anyone who is subjected to chronically unsafe environments, regardless of the cause, begins to become somewhat stuck in a state of fight-or-flight. This typically shows up in the form of anxiety, paranoia and depression. Severity typically depends on how bad the past trauma is, and how unsafe the person's current environment is. Basically, the point I'm getting at here is that the body's regular functions become abnormal when constantly on edge like this. Sexual dysfunction such as vaginismus is a very common side effect of chronic stress, simply because your body CANNOT RELAX!

I think it's also important to note that sex for anyone, regardless of their history, is always going to be better when there is a genuine emotional connection and trust involved. I wasn't molested as a child, but I had very low self-esteem as a result of being verbally abused for most of my life. Because of this, I went on to date addicts who neglected me because I didn't think I deserved better. I don't think I ever truly trusted any of my early partners and I was regularly upset with them. Sex always felt off somehow, and I would also dissociate during penetration. Was never able to reach orgasm with my first partner, and with my second I came maybe twice. I have a pretty good sex life with my current boyfriend, who was a good friend of mine before we started dating, giving me plenty of time to develop the trust I needed to know he would treat me with the respect I deserved. I still sometimes struggle to enjoy sex if I'm stressed out, but it's nowhere near as difficult as it was with previous partners.

About the promiscuity…I can't really speculate on that since there are a lot of reasons why people are promiscuous that aren't necessarily rooted in early childhood sexual abuse, but when I can recommend is that you begin asking yourself, the next time you feel compelled to sleep with someone you don't know well…what is the worst thing that could happen if I don't have sex with this person right now? See what kind of thoughts come up for you.

Anonymous 5795

I unironically prefer bigger benis and I miss my exes size (8") my current bf is average (5"). he's great and good at sex but something minor is missing.
I would never say or do anything about it tho because that kinda shit hurts men too much.

Anonymous 5797


Idk if i prefer bigger. I've never had small. Every guy I slept with had a huge benish. Of course I am a tiny asian girl so take that with a grain of salt.

Anonymous 5800

My current bf is massive (like I honestly didn't know they could get that big) and I have mixed feelings about it.

I'm quite skinny and very short, so that doesn't help at all, and he's just huge in length and especially in girth. He's way thicker than my wrist, he's even thicker than his own wrist and I must admit that sometimes it looks scary instead of arousing, especially when he's very excited and he gets rock hard. During the beginning of our relationship I thought that the initial pain of the penetration during the first two or three minutes would eventually disappear, but after almost 4 years it's still there, just barely slightly better than the first time we had sex. That honestly felt like I was a virgin again, I didn't enjoy it at all, but luckily for me he loves eating me out, he's a total sweetheart and he has always made sure that I cum at least a few times even during those days when he's just too much for me to take. But it still sucks that I have to endure a few minutes of painful penetration before I can feel good and even then, it's not guaranteed that I will.

However, like half of the times we have sex, and after the initial pain fades away, it's very easily the best sex I've ever had in my life. Cumming is extremely easy, I just need to rock my hips a bit while he's inside so that there's some extra pressure against my clit and that's all it takes, I cum in less than 30 seconds and I can do it over and over again until I'm absolutely exhausted or he cums. I was never able to cum so easily with other guys. Extremely deep penetration can also feel AMAZING at the right angle, but it can feel like getting punched in the belly as well if he's not careful.

So yeah, as I said, I have mixed feelings about it. When it hurts, it can hurt A LOT, lube doesn't improve it that much, and sometimes it's just too much for me to take and we have to stop because I will start bleeding a bit. I also hate fact that I can't give him blowjobs, my mouth is literally too small to take the head in. But when it goes well it's the best thing ever! Even with all the disadvantages, my sex life has never been this good and I'm so glad for that, but it still could be better.

Anonymous 5801

How large is he exactly?
My ex bottomed me out and it never hurt if he didn't go in dry, it was perfect. It did hit some sort of point in the end, maybe cervix idk, which felt very good. I used to think diccs were ugly until I saw his, it was actually good in aesthetics too.

Anonymous 5802

He says he's 10" long, and I believe him because I could use three hands to masturbate him (if I had them of course) with some spare space between them. And it's also really fat, almost beer can thick. I'm jealous that you always enjoyed being bottomed out, it's horrible for me sometimes, no matter how wet or lubricated I am. He tries to be as careful as possible, but sometimes he just gets too rough and it hurts like a bitch, the rest of the time it feels awesome though. His dick is good looking too, nice and strong upwards curvature and shape, especially the head has a nice form. But as I said, when he's really horny and he gets 100% hard it can look scary, because it just gets so thick, veiny and pinkish-purple that it seems angry, I don't know how to describe it, but it does make me feel intimidated.

Is there really such a big difference between your ex and your current bf? I think size is NOT that important, the second best sex I ever had was with a small guy, so maybe he just needs to improve his technique.

Anonymous 5805

Can concur. My bf isn't nearly that big, but still too big for me, and sex is a mixed bag. Sometimes it hurts too much or takes too long to get used to it that I get bored/over it (I have a finnicky libido) and/or he gets so worried about hurting me it kills his boner so we stop and cuddle or just do something else lel.

But on the odd time it worked out, I've had a crazy orgasm where it's like you're possessed. The when it happened I got so fucking scared lol I thought I was having a seizure. Actually it was so frightening, idk if I want to have one like that ever again.

Side note: big benis means the loudest fucking queef I felt it rumble and crack in my body like a fucking thunderclap

Anonymous 5807

Yes, it's a mixed bag, but for me it's a net positive I think. I've experienced everything you described, sometimes it just takes too much time to get used to the size, and combined with the pain I will lose my excitement after a while. But when the orgams are particularly good, they are out of this world, I've also had a few of those seizure experiences and they are a bit scary, yet amazing at the same time.

The thing about the loud queefs is so true. Since the gaping is so big when he takes it out, a lot of air gets in, and then you will get a huge queef. I've realised that it gets particularly bad during doggy style, but luckily my bf doesn't seem to have a problem with it.

Anonymous 5814

>I could use three hands to masturbate him (if I had them of course) with some spare space between them
So youre like a dwarf person or something?

Anonymous 5815

Well, I'm like 5'0 and skinny, while he's very tall and hung, the contrast is massive.

Anonymous 5822

Does your local high school have a pool? Oftentimes the city's chamber of commerce will offer swimming classes there in the summertime as a way to make a quick buck. In my city it was like, 20 USD a lesson, every other week.

Anonymous 5828

Are you one of the tall girls in the hb thread who kept sperging out at short girls? You sound really insecure. Don't be a dick to her.

Anonymous 5829

I hate and love my mother so much.
If she died it would kill me but at the same time I could use her money, I'd never have to deal with her trying to micromanage my life again. My sister would be free of her too. It's such a terrible feeling.

Anonymous 5831


Spoiler cause fucking gross

I watched a piss orgy (all male) video and didn't get disgusted. I wouldn't go as far as to say I got aroused either,
but I feel like I shouldn't even be able to stomach it. Why

I feel so gross and disgusted at myself

Anonymous 5832

I have a huge humiliation fetish and you be surprised how often it turned into being peed on.

Anonymous 5833



Heh, like in that Beastie Boys video.

Did they sex or was it just all peeing?

Anonymous 5834

You're just developing a thick skin. It's a good thing.

Anonymous 5840



I don't think I have one, though. I do some veeeery light bondage, choking, slaping and name calling with my boyfriend (normie shit really), and even sometimes I think that's too much kek I am a vanilla bitch, I guess. I mean, if it was a non gross liquid, like squirt that is piss like but not -pisspiss-, I guess I wouldn't find it as revolting.

Mostly pissing, like a piss bukkake, but not all at once and they fucked in between.

I did fucking wince when one pissed on a dildo and other licked it though. so I guess not all is lost. The thing that gets me more is like… Why did I even click and went trough it you know? Eehh… They were professionals, obviously, so their pee was pristine and transparent, I almost dissasociated it with the "real" thing. But thinking about the yellowness and smell of the thing irl…

Anonymous 5841

Eh, piss isn't disgusting if you drink lots of water. I tend not to find it disgusting even if it's yellow and concentrated, I mean, it's sterile and it's not like shit where it's actual waste. It's just water.

Anonymous 5842

Anonymous 5850

I've not told anyone in my life this before, I don't really know how to go about it.

I have a feeling that I was abused as a child but I can't properly remember it. I think if it did happen, I blacked it out.

A couple of years ago I was at a family gathering and my aunts/mom/cousin were talking about my crazy aunt who's been estranged from the family for years, and I never knew why. They said that it was because she had accused a family member of abusing her daughters, and social services got involved etc., but obviously, it turned out to be totally false.

I was completely shocked. I adore that family member, he's my whole world, so to find that out really shook me, and I went to my friend's house and cried but couldn't say why. I couldn't understand why the bitch would make something so horrible up.

And then recently, a few months ago, I started thinking about it again. I watched a film where a female character is in an abusive relationship and I took so much pity on her and knew that it was wrong, but I couldn't help thinking I wanted a relationship like that. So I did some googling and read that people who experienced trauma in their childhood often seek out unhealthy or abusive relationships because it's what they learned, or because they have a deep-rooted feeling that it's all that they deserve. And I thought huh I've never been abused, maybe it's just a kink, but then I thought about the conversation with my aunts.

And I've become really confused. The way he treated me wasn't abuse. I'm not sure if I'm just overthinking and overanalysing what was just friendly contact and conversation. I think he was just looking out for me and being loving. But what I read online said that it could constitute as abuse. But that seems so farfetched. But then, if my dad treated any child of mine that way, I wouldn't like it. I'm not sure what to do really.

Anonymous 5852

I've been distancing myself from my boyfriend and yeah I already fucked things up with my friends

Anonymous 5857

What have you done and why?

Anonymous 5859


You'll only see things go further south if you isolate yourself from friends and loved ones.

Anonymous 5861

I love my current boyfriend so much but I'm his first (for everything) and sometimes I find myself fantasizing about my ex because he was tall, had a big dick and knew how to use it. My current bf is my height with an average dick and knows next to nothing about pleasing a woman with it.

I'm a pathetic loser who can never even think of initiating sex because I'm still having trouble getting over trauma from my past and my current bf is obviously not as confident since I'm his first partner. I feel bad because I should be able to teach him stuff but I just get so fucking scared or embarrassed with him. I want to find joy in being at least somewhat dominating but i just can't. I want to be dominated by him because I trust him… yet I know he won't do it. We're both almost 26 and I just feel like a damn child at this point. i long for an amazing sex life with this man but I don't think it will ever happen and it's upsetting so I fantasize about other men or even characters from stories I read.
At least with my last bf I could just put myself into a state of catharsis while he fucked me since he at least knew what he was doing without me having to worry about it.

I don't know what's wrong with me and I feel like my feelings contradict themselves. I feel terrible.

Anonymous 5862

have you considered using the communication hole on your face with him

Anonymous 5863

Consider that your bf is not going to magically read your mind about these things. If you are not content with the way things are, say something.
Being embarrassed/scared is part of the vulnerability of being in a relationship. If you can't assert yourself, try asking him about what kind of fantasies he has to initiate a conversation about where you would like your sex life to go.

Also from what you said about your ex, you sound like a boring lay. Maybe your ex was into that, but not actively participating in sex is weird.

Anonymous 5864


I'm sorry, I should have been more specific.

I've talked to him about this stuff before but he's still reluctant I think? I've tried to have the "what turns you on" talk with him many times and it's always a "I don't know" sort of response. He's really neutral towards almost everything even though I'm quite straight up and honest with things myself.

Maybe I'm just not someone who should be intimate. I am indeed a boring lay because I'm embarrassed and the only people I've been with have been fine with being fully dominating while I do whatever they wanted me to whether top or bottom. I take direction well but I don't give it well is my problem I guess.

Anonymous 5865

I don't think you should be so hard on yourself, sorry for being harsh about the boring lay bit.

It sounds like he either isn't that invested in the sexual aspect of your relationship or really shy about it as well. You might need to literally tell him specific instructions on what to do or try, with encouraging feedback ("Yes that feels good, do xyz, etc"). If you can't do that, try other ways to get it across like watching erotica together?

Anon, you deserve to have a fulfilling romantic/sexual/reciprocal relationship, but that takes work.

Anonymous 5866

It's ok, I appreciate the advice regardless of how harsh it came off.

I think you're right about him being shy. I just haven't really thought about that since we've been together for 2+ years now and my mind decides to say "well if you've been together for that long there should be no problem". I think I just needed a reality check though. The type of relationship i want does take work. Thank you so much anon.

Anonymous 5868

I ate lots of salami today and I can't stop farting.

Anonymous 5869

I was doing some arts n crafts stuff today and accidentally cut my finger. Instead of cleaning the cut right away I continued on with my art project despite the pain, it lowkey felt… good? I've never thought of pain feeling good before (but I know that some ppl have it as a kink) so I felt kinda strange feeling this way.

Anonymous 5895

it takes time to adjust to crushed dreams of grandkids anon. The bigger the blindside the longer the adjustment.

Anonymous 5911


Do you guys hide when seeing people from HS? i do. im not even totally sure why i do that.

Anonymous 5912

I used to hide but now I just ignore them. I don't give a shit about any one of them. They ignored me during HS so they can lick my ass now

Anonymous 5913

I do that all the time. I literally run and have ducked behind my boyfriend in several occasions. I don't want to remember them.

Anonymous 5915

I don't look anything like I did in high school so I'm usually pretty safe passing by and pretending to be a stranger. There was one guy who recognized me, but he didn't seem sure so I just looked at him funny and walked away quickly.

Anonymous 5918


I think my boyfriend might have a pee fetish, but I am not sure.

I remember when I thought he had a tickling fetish, and I was so shocked by that that I stop making out with him and I felt pretty dirty afterwards (although he doesn't have dA levels of tickling fetish, he just likes that I tease him a bit while we do stuff), but then I thought a bit about it and came to the conclusion that it was pretty harmless. He then admited it a few months later.

But a pee fetish… I am not sure if I can engage in that at all. As I said, I have no confirmation, but he often jokes about angrily pissing on someone or when I talk about weird pee fetishes he doesn't seem that distraught. I mean, I could be wrong, and he never asked me anything related to this, but I was right about the other one…

Anonymous 5924

That sea lion had every right to be offended

Anonymous 5929

I act like that sea lion every time I catch someone saying something messed up about the Irish.

It's a cop car, not a fucking paddy wagon. And I will happily speak at length to anyone about the origins of that particular racial slur among others. I'm unemployed, nothing is a waste of my time anymore.

Anonymous 5932


I liked my high school classmates, but I still avoid them (online or when back home).

I don't live near any of them anymore, but sometimes they will contact me on FB (very rarely) and I get so flustered I ignore them or reply late with simple, boring sentences.

It's because I'm scared of being judged as a failure, or at least that's what I think is the reason. They are a reminder of my past and the passage of time, and it freaks me out.

>btw, here's a creepy photo I found of some peoples' 20 year high school reunion

Anonymous 5935

until this post i thought paddy wagon was just a weird way to say cop car

Anonymous 5936

It's okay anon, my partner has a pee fetish and b/c I hate it so much I just make sure I piss on him more out of spite.

Anonymous 5938


I honestly would never pee on him. If I ever was to engage on this, I'd let myself get pissed on, and in the shower, because fucking gross. But no. I would probably just tell him "Sorry babe, can't do"

Anonymous 5940


I think sex is disgusting and all the normals who have it and the virgins who obsess over it are disgusting too.

Anonymous 5941



Yeah, I'd say no. But now I feel kinda bad because I don't even know if he really has it lol He probably wouldn't ask me to do it even if that was the case, he knows I think it's gross and he respects me. They only way to truly know and ever do it is if I was the one to ask him, and yeah, pic related.

Anonymous 5942

edgy. why do people always say this

Anonymous 5944

Seconding this.

Anonymous 5946

thirding this but because I'm a bit weird and it disgusts me and embarrasses me even though I like it.

Anonymous 5947

Yeah, I do it in the shower.

I also happens if I'm irrationally mad while drunk that I'll want to piss on him because I know I'm mad for a dumb reason but at least he gets something out of it and I like feeling like a bitch even though I'm not really being one (I don't get mad emotionally at people for some reason, like I don't get angry if that makes sense so it's like release).

Now I'm embarrassed at admitting this but at least it's in the secrets thread, kek.

Anonymous 5948

Then I do not struggle against Gaelophobia in vain. Thank you. :)

Anonymous 5963


Anonymous 6117

Thanks >>5940, your image is my face rn.

I've been pretty disgusted by sex for a long time but only recently started opening up to it more. I'm still a virgin at 24, but the thought of having sex with someone isn't totally out of the question, which makes me wonder if I'm finally (ahgodwhy.jpg) having a sexual awakening.

Subsequently on a semi-related note, I think I had a half-assed masturbation round the other night while reading fetish/erotic stories. Not only did it feel bizarre, but most of the stories were alien/plant transformation/impregnation stories. Stories that I return to every few months because what else can I do at night when I'm bored and don't want to sleep, am I right?

I'm so confused by it and want to die. Why can't it be normal fetishes…

Anonymous 6186

You definitely need to see a therapist if you're disgusted by sex and can't bear the thought of having a "sexual awakening". Please talk to somebody because you have some underlying mental issues. I'm concerned for you.

Anonymous 6187

Nta but that isn't a big deal if anon wasn't molested, raped, etc. Some people just don't like it, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm tired of people acting as if everyone should be super interested in sex or have a high libido like dogs in heat.

Anonymous 6191

Lol bitch bye. Not wanting to have sex isn't a sign of a mental disorder. There's nothing wrong with an antipathy towards something a lot of people are repulsed by.

Anonymous 6192

Everyone look at this male

Anonymous 6193

I'm 22 and a virgin, never even dated at all. I can never imagine myself having sex, but i first started masturbating when i was just a preteen and the things i watch are rather fucked up…

Also, having to go to the gynecologist is my worst nightmare, it hurts so badly, that i always nearly fall of the chair and want to sream, i even bled once afterwards.
So how could i ever enjoy somebody sticking something up there…

Anonymous 6195

Wow you all really are edgelords, just like everyone on lolcow said. Calm down. There's nothing sound about not being interested in a natural desire unless your biological makeup is fucked up to the max but keep telling yourselves you guys are alright. I'm not sure why you guys are so hostile and angry because I really am concerned for anon including you guys. Thanks for confirming my point that you guys really do have mental issues though. Straight up repulsion to something imprinted in your dna and evolution is so fucked up, please see a psychiatrist about your repulsions and anger issues.

Everyone, look at this edgelord. Keep fighting the robots in your head.

Anonymous 6196

>anger issues.

Oooh, yeah, we're raging. Better get out before something bad goes down. ur dumb

Anonymous 6199

Stop assuming stuff about me (>>6187). I never said that I am personally repulsed by it, I just said that I hate people like you who act like there's something wrong with anon. If anyone here needs help it is you with your assumptions, from the one you made about me and the first anon. I'm concerned for you.

Anonymous 6207

Same, Ive been thinking about re-reading them lately tbqh.

Anonymous 6226

Hii, 6117 here. I know I'm late to your reply and I get why you said this, but a few things:

1) It's perfectly fine to be disgusted by it upon first exploring of sexual activity, be it a natural process of life or not. Not every woman is freely able to see and understand sex as this fun-and-fancy romp into bodily desires at the first proper age. I wasn't taught or allowed to be freely experimentive sexually when I was old enough, so it's fine that I'm behind on the sex curve. I may have reservations on it, but they're not something a therapist needs to be involved in.
2) Even after I'd been exposed to far more adult stuff than my mother or grandmother would even dare let me lay eyes on, I just never found sex interesting or even had a reaction to any of it! I've actually wondered if I may be asexual, but before I go full-Tumblr, I chalked it up to a lack of experience. I've since dated, so I can't say that I haven't have the opportunity, but I just wasn't interested in any of the guys enough to go that far, so I likely won't have that experience for a while until I meet the right guy. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm perfectly fine with waiting.
3) My disgust is less towards sex and more towards the idea of me having sex, like another anon has said. Sex can be a beautiful thing, I agree, but I don't like picturing my awkward potato self having sex, and recently it's even moreso since I've been reading about those certain fetishes. So it's more like what's bring about the awakening more than it happening in general.

Tl;dr: I'm not trying to bitch at you, and I'm sorry to everyone if this post is long, but please simmer down a few notches.

See, I went once for my first check-up even though my sister and mom said I didn't need it if I were a virgin, and it was pretty awkward, but I felt comfortable knowing I left in pretty good health. But getting a cold medical tool shoved into my hootus wasn't all that great, and that was the first time anything had been shoved up there as far as my memory goes.

Anonymous 6230

I'm >>6193 and i have to go again in a few weeks and am already scared to death…
What should i do? Take painkillers or something like that beforehand?

Anonymous 6236

A painkiller might help if it hurts that much, but in all honesty the best I can recommend is trying to come to terms with the fact that you're gonna have a cold medical object shoved into your hootus and to just relax when the time comes. A lot of the time, it'll hurt mostly because of the vaginal muscles tensing up due to it being something you're not normally used to having inserted in; as invasive as it is, it is a routine part of the checkup and I think the quicker you come to terms with it, the easier it might be getting through it. However, if you do try to relax and still find that it hurts or the pain is just phenomenally enought aht painkillers don't mask it, you might take a gander at this and see if it might be similar to what you're dealing with: https://jezebel.com/when-tight-becomes-too-tight-a-helpful-primer-on-vagin-1679485378

And if it makes you feel any better, I still haven't gone back for a second exam. Ain't got enough time in the world for a second round of getting cold things put in my hootus.

Anonymous 6241

I thought about Vaginismus, but i never had any problems with inserting tampons; i guess i'll never know until i've tried out sex.
Also, i'm sure that my gynecologist notices that i'm in pain, because i flinch and scoot away or suck in my breath, yet she never says anything about it, so i guess it's normal in her opinion

Anonymous 6242

I have vaginismus but it's psychological. Penetrative sex is often near impossible unless I'm drunk. I can use dildos and tampons just fine, though.

Anonymous 6297


Idk why but I always have to find a school/class ""crush"" to lowkey obsess about even if I don't actually have a crush on them. I've been doing it since I was a lonely teen, and I suppose I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic.

I have a bf now though, and I still do it.

There's something about staring at the back of some dude's head and hoping he'll notice you, I guess…..

Anonymous 6319

I've become a female furry just to have group sex with people anonymously and recently a close friend found out about the furry stuff and is sort blackmailing me.

Anonymous 6320

That person is not your "friend" anymore boo.

How is he/she blackmailing you? Do they have proof?

Anonymous 6321

Oh god EVERYTIME I go to the gyno shes like " RELAX . RELAX" cause my hoohah clamps DOWN. Its my fault tho cause I know it will hurt so even though I try to relax I cant. Thats why even though I want to get an IUD I know i cant. Ive heard it hurts regardless so imagine doing it with a shut down vagoo? Impossible.

Anonymous 6327

Just reading this made my vagina close, fuck.

Anonymous 6336

please post more

Anonymous 6337

He is probably afraid of getting old.

How old are you guys and how long are you together?

Anonymous 7112

I like to shave my skin dry.

If I'm in the mood to self-harm, it makes a nice segeway into it. Though it embarasses me how edgey that is. Cringe.

Anonymous 7118

Depending whether I graduate with my bachelor's or not, I want to get a vet tech certificate asap afterwards so I can work in my city's animal shelter. I'm sure a bulk of the procedures I'd be doing is putting animals to sleep. For me, it feels like the best of both worlds; I love animals and I've always wanted to work with them, but being able to put them to sleep feels wonderful, too. I want to be able to put them out of their misery and watch them slip away, out of the miserable, shitty life they've lived. I like how it makes me feel powerful, even that it is a pathetic kind of powerful. I also have always been obsessed with death and am preoccupied with it. This makes me feel stupid, but it is a secret dream of mine. At least it's easily attainable. I noticed for my city how the job opening is always opening, hopefully this means a lot of people leave so by the time I'm ready for it I'll easily get in.

Anonymous 7164

>tfw I just noticed today how big my nipples are
How am I supposed to feel?

Anonymous 7168

It's okay,there's a lot of different nipple size/shapes.Not everyone needs the "porn star perfect" nipples to look good.It's nothing to feel bad about!(actually i've heard that many people find big nippies quite the turn on)

Anonymous 7245


I've fallen in love with my girlfriend but I don't want to be the one to say it first again. We've been dating for four months.

I feel like I always take the lead in relationships and I get I'm more expressive about my affection than my partners have been but it'd be nice to have someone fall in love with me first.

Anonymous 7246


I want to be Ebichu's girlfriend.

Anonymous 7248

Super cute, congrats anon.
I feel the same way as you, and my gf was the first to say it. gl

Anonymous 7249

When I was a kid I would put tights on my head and pretend to be Sailor Moon. The tights were my "hair" since they looked like twintails lol

Anonymous 7250



Anonymous 7251


too late, that is me dechuuuu~~

Anonymous 7256

That's really creative and cute anonee.

Anonymous 7273

maxresdefault (1).…

Hah, similarly I would try to make my own brooches and wands out of cardboard and construction paper and pretend to transform.

Anonymous 8191

Have a shoplifting habit that I have gotten several thousand dollars worth of junk from.
I am afraid I won't be able to stop before there are serious consequences.

Anonymous 8204

Please stop yourself, anon. The next time could very well be your last.

Anonymous 8230

I've developed feelings for my FWB and I've no idea what to do about it. He really is so lovely and kind and I think he's just amazing…but I don't think he sees me as anything more than a good friend who he fucks. But I just wish he would take me out on dates and call me pet names and that I could introduce him to my family…urgh, this sucks.

Anonymous 8232

It's best you let him know now, than have him find out later. You brought yourself right into this scenario with that kind of relationship. The heartbreak will be more than immense, if you let this go on without speaking up. He could feel the same, and this could blossom into something beautiful, but it's likely he's not committed.

If you are going to tell him, which you should, do it in person. Faraway, he can simply cut you off with a message. Don't let that happen.

Anonymous 8235

I had a huge crush on my ex-boss and on my last day of working there I asked for his number so I can put him down as a 'reference' on my resume and he almost gave it to me. Until he said it was unprofessional and to just put down the store's phone and have them ask for him. It was a completely unprofessional question and I feel disgusting for even asking it. Because I'm in a relationship and he's married with a new baby. I didn't think I had it in me to even ask such a thing (I asked my last boss - I worked two jobs and quit both at the same time- and she gave it to me but I think she actually seen me as her friend for some reason idk), but I obviously didn't ask my other boss for her number for the same reason. Honestly even if he did give it to me I doubt I would've done anything with it. I hate cheaters and I'd never actually cheat on my boyfriend. But damn do I feel like a disgusting bitch for asking that. I'm glad he didn't give it to me. I'm keeping this secret until I die.

Anonymous 8236

That's a very bad thing to do, anon. No matter how innocent it is, the slightest contact can be misconstrued. He did you good not giving it to you. Better than some bosses, I'll say.

Anonymous 8239

I know it was bad.. and I’m not sure if you didn’t pick up on it but I wasn’t being innocent when I asked for his number. Hah. Glad he’s a good man.

Anonymous 8268

Realistically, I know you are right. And you've confirmed what I already knew inside. But I can't let myself lose him. I feel like if I'm at least in a FWB relationship, I'm at least having contact with him. I feel pathetic because I'll text him about normal everyday stuff and get short replies, but when it's about sex, he's on it straight away.

Anonymous 8281

You're hurting yourself, anon, and it's going to hurt a lot more if you don't let it out now.

Anonymous 8727

Sometimes I fall in love with my own drawings

Anonymous 8729

can we see one?

Anonymous 8733


lol here's the one I drew today. Before him I fell in love with a drawing of a cute stronk boy, an orc, a bishounen mermaid and a satyr. Isn't drawing great? You can just make any kind of husbando you wish for. Yet I feel like I am using my powers for evil deeds lol

Anonymous 8736

Very nice.

Anonymous 8738


>You can just make any kind of husbando you wish for

amazing art

Anonymous 8751

do you take comissions?

Anonymous 8756

Damn, anon I really like your art. You're very good! Would it be alright if I asked to see your other works?

Anonymous 8769

I don't want to derail this thread but actually I've been wondering how and where to set up a place to get commissions. Sometimes I see artists online selling sketches for 10-15 dollars and I think that's ridicolous I could do it cheaper. But I don't have a page on social media and I don't know which platform would be best, tumblr seems ok, but there are more people on facebook than on tumblr… Err should I make a new thread in /media/ for a discussion of social media?

Anonymous 8777

You should, it won't hurt. The worst thing that can happen is that the thread won't get replies kek. Make a thread for when you're bored and feel like doodling, it could be fun.

Anonymous Moderator 8829

Sounds like a great thread for /media/, please feel free.

Anonymous 8933

I have to put my fist/thumb in front of my closed mouth when I'm ready to sleep, otherwise it doesn't happen. I was almost six when I finally stopped using a pacifier, so I guess that's why. It's not a big deal, but I'd worry about being made fun of IRL.

Anonymous 8937

You're just asking to be adored by your SO, like that.

Anonymous 8940

Thanks, anon!

Anonymous 8942

You're welcome! Keep being precious!

Anonymous 9241


you're not alone

Anonymous 9242


what's wrong with colon three?

Anonymous 11338

I'm too lazy to separate my trash and my country is really strict about it, the other residents of my building will look in the trash cans to see if there's any mixed trash in the bin (for example paper in the plastics bin), but when I clean up I throw everything into one bag, so now I use opaque trash bags and sneak them into a neighbor's bin at night instead of the one for my building.

Anonymous 11369

Laziness is no excuse for contributing to humanity's ever growing trash problem.
You're a bad person, and you should feel bad.

Anonymous 11371

There are a lot of environmental problems that you as a consumer is directly contributing to. I hope you are vegan, save water and power, don't buy anything that isn't a necessity etc. etc.

Anonymous 11372


I'm only 22 but I'm so sick of casual dating. I want to find the person I'm meant to be with the rest of my life. I've done the whole 'sleep around no strings attached' type of stuff and I know it's not for me. It's fun at first but eventually it just makes me feel even more empty and hollow inside. I've only had one relationship where I felt a true, deep connection and he left me. I feel so alone. I want someone I can start building and sharing a life with. I don't want to keep wasting my best years on fuckboys and guys I have no feelings for. I'm not expecting a perfect fairytale relationships Despite what my pic suggests but I want a relationship that is real and that can get through tough times.

Anonymous 11373

Whataboutism doesn't change the fact that not sorting when there are facilities for it is actively detrimental the environment.

Of course individual actions contribute a small portion of the actual pollution and waste production compared to the supply side so shaming one person for not recycling, especially in a confession thread, doesn't do much.

Anonymous 11374

I mean, if I want to say you're a bad person for eating meat and should feel bad. Would you agree then?

Anonymous 11376


I'm >>11338 and I already know it's bad, that's why I'm posting in the confessions thread. Sneaking around like I am doing right now is ridiculous and will be extremely embarrassing if I get caught, so I'm gonna have to suck it up and buy some trashcans to keep my trash separated (I just moved).

Anonymous 11377

Your point out of context: "eating meat is bad for the environment" is true, but in context it's distraction from the response to the original confession. Even people who are not perfect ecofriendly consumers can still criticize specific behaviors. Though I would say that calling someone a bad person over it was a bit much.

My response is your discussion skills are bad and you should feel bad.

Good for you anon.

Anonymous 11382

Why can't you just answer the question?

Anonymous 11383

Can you read?

I literally concede that you are "technically right," but that comment is really pointless.

Anonymous 11400

I wonder how the guy is going to feel when he hears about you going through the casual sleeping around thing. If he's anything like you in that romantic part, he's not going to take that casual part very lightly.

Anonymous 11408

I wonder how so many woman go through that phase. Even though I was lonely as fuck most of my life I never thought casual sex was the answer to that. It would just make me feel used, discarded, and even worse about myself to be that intimate with someone who didn't even care about me. It's like the physical equivalent of spilling your feelings and emotions to someone who is just going to leave in 3 hours.

Anonymous 11409

They don't care. Your bf is not going to quiz you on how many other people you've been with. Nobody I've been in a relationship with has ever even asked. And if they did, I would consider it a red flag like, 'why is this important…?'

Don't worry, anon. The right guy is out there. Just be patient. I, also, really don't like one-night-stands and have noticed that they make me feel worse than being alone. If I don't have some time to get to know someone, being physically intimate with them just isn't as fun. Reminder to set boundaries if you do meet someone you're interested in, and establish that you're not looking for something casual at the moment. I've found that policy tends to weed out a bunch of fuckboys pretty reliably.

Anonymous 11411

I'd say it depends on where you live. If you're from a small town or happen to meet people who hang out in the similar circles, the past can haunt you later on. I once met a great guy who happened to be close friends with a former fling of mine. You can imagine how that ended.

Anonymous 11423

I have a huge thing for younger guys/shota

Anonymous 11426

i know how gossipy small towns can get, but i don't think
>my ex talked shit about me to a guy that i was interested in
is the same thing as 'if you have casual sex, it will ruin your chance at having a romantic relationship'. You know what's romantic, in my book? Loving someone despite their past or their flaws.
just my two cents on your situation, i think if someone judges you on your sexual history instead of who you are as a person, they're not really that great of a guy.
everybody makes mistakes, but those mistakes are sometimes what helps you to mature. if someone's not willing to even give you a chance because their friend told them that you two hooked up at one point and they decided that means you'll forever be tainted or a rampaging slut, wellp, you probably didn't lose much by missing out on that relationship.

Anonymous 11427

>younger guys
how young are we talking
please don't turn into the next Brittany Zamora or something. or just think of the jail time you'll get if you do.

Anonymous 11431

I like younger guys as well

I'm not into shota irl, but my boyfriend is 7 years younger than me.

Everyone is telling me not to treat it like it's long term, but he's honestly perfect. I know I'll still love him when he gets old

Our relationship originally started because he has a thing for older girls and I have a thing for younger men, but we've grown to love each other a lot.

Live your dreams, cougaranon. You can find happiness with a younger guy.

Anonymous 11433

Oh no no I would never go for irl shota

I’m seeing a guy younger than me but the immaturity worries me a bit

Anonymous 11461

Be careful, you don't want to get the reputation as the local manmaker.

Anonymous 11504

the amount of emphasis i see anons on this board place on reputation makes me wonder how many people we have here that are from really small communities. i lived in the city for the past decade or so and while there were definitely 'scenes' you never really heard of more than one or two particularly social individuals getting a 'rep', and it was usually a good one (i.e. 'scotty is really fun to hang out with') that came with a disclaimer, ('although he parties really hard so if you're not into that then you probably won't enjoy his company') instead of being like 'so-and-so is a terrible person and you shouldn't touch them with a ten-foot-pole'.
the only time i saw the latter type of thing happen was on social media, but to be fair it mostly happened to men when they were accused of raping or abusing women. i never saw women get the same flack for their sexual activity.

Anonymous 11508

I really want to kill myself. Idk how much of a confession secret that really is but it's all I have on my mind so it's all I can think of.

Anonymous 11511

Do you want to explain why?

Anonymous 11516

Fuck you anon. Sincerely, fuck you. You don't deserve him.

Anonymous 11517

You're a fucking idiot anon.

Anonymous 11601

Update: saw my younger fling again, I had to say hi to his dad and his entire family and it felt fucking weird. I’ve heard his sister telling him now he has a gf he needs to be respectful of women or whatever.. this is too weird for me to go on I think..

Anonymous 11603


just an intentional mishap
one night i was really drunk and lying in bed and didn't wanna get out to go pee because
so i resorted to peeing in my reusable water bottle. i didn't drink out of it after that and THOROUGHLY washed it in the morning and still use it. i think what i did is disgusting and i will never tell anyone ik irl cause ~ashamed~ but what has been done can no longer be reversed.

Anonymous 11604

I did this with a nalgene bottle. Twice.
The first time was shameful and I threw it away, the second time should have been more shameful but I said fuck it and washed it good.

Anonymous 11607


I'm obsessed with my ex-friend who blocked me three years ago. I check up on the only social media he uses(that I haven't been blocked on) and it tears me up inside we aren't friends.
A little bit of backstory would help I guess. He's not a great person. He has a laundry list of online girls he befriended, made them feel special, and treated them like shit once he figured out they weren't romantically interested in them. Every single girl in his life has experience this. And there were a lot of girls in his life, at least online. I've personally known about four other girls who went through the same shit I did with him, very close friends with one of them now. Out of all of them I was probably the least innocent, being young and stupid I tried to please him as much as I could because I so desperately wanted to be his friend above anything else, but I wasn't romantically interested in him. He was the first person I've really clicked with and I'm one of those sad fucks who don't click with, like, anyone. What makes everything weirder is I'm close with all his ex-friends now(most of them are guys!!!) because he went crazy and thought everyone was against him and started being a bitch and pushing everyone away. Anyway I just feel pathetic and guilty and stupid for even hoping this honestly toxic person will just message me out of the blue but he probably hopes I'm dead and I should get over this!

Anonymous 11623


I'll help you:

He's a pile of shit! You're lucky he's not around anymore!

Anonymous 11665

If he's so petty as to block you, and not discuss things like adults, then you're better off without him.

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