/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I'm sorry to hear that. Losing a cherished pet is always sad. I remember when it was time for my first pet's time came. He was a poodle, and was the most attentive and patient dog I've ever known. He got cancer, and we eventually had to put him down. I was there with him at the vet when it happened. If I spend too long thinking about that day, I always start to tear up a bit…
The grief never goes away I guess, it just recedes over time, ready to come back if you let it. I think it is healthy to a certain extent. To lose a pet is a good way to come to grips with death and mortality in a safe way. As long as you don't let it consume the rest of your life let it run its course. Perhaps in a month or two, start looking around for another cat. Another cat will never replace what you lost, but can help fill the void in the lifestyle that your first cat filled so well. I remember feeling a bit guilty over getting a replacement dog, thinking it was commodifying or trivializing the relationship I had with my first one. In hindsight, I realized that each pet has its own personality. Learning to love a new pet didn't tarnish the memory of my first one. I can't say when exactly the right time will be to move on, only that if your cat took a piece of you when he left, it will take another one to restore it. At least that was the case for me.

>>107147
I'm sorry about your poodle nona. It sounds like you had a very close bond with him. I have the feeling I'll have a similar situation as you in regards to always tearing up when I think about my cats passing. He died in my arms, and it was devastating knowing there was nothing I could do to save him.
I think you're right though, in regards to getting another cat later down the line. Right now I can't even imagine doing it as no other cat could ever replace him. But I also know that I wouldn't actually be replacing him.
He was so talkative and I really regret not getting any video recordings of him when he was being chatty.
For any pet-owning nonas in here, take as many videos and photos of your babies as you can. You never know when their time will come.

So sorry, anon.
Yes, I lost my childhood cat (and best friend) when he was 15 a few years ago. It was awful, I broke down sobbing at work and felt the deep emptiness of his missing presence to my core. I'd always be expecting him to come around the corner or slip into my room and onto my bed like usual.
My mother encouraged us to get a new kitten a month and a half later, and even if it felt like betrayal of him I'm so happy to have her! Like other anon said, she's so different in her personality that it doesn't feel like a "replacement" as I feared. I could never replace him after all, it was just meeting a new friend to help the healing process.
The period with no cat felt 6x longer than it actually was though, fuck.

All this to say, don't feel guilt about making a new friend but also only do so when you feel ready. And take as long as you need to mourn both he and your life alongside him. 14 years is a long time filled with what I assume to be some of your early memories if he was your first cat (even if you got your first cat at 20, that's young in a different way). Take time to appreciate his companionship during your ups and downs and growth. Also don't let anyone make you feel silly for mourning a pet.

I lived in a big house in the rural area of a city for most of my life, so I've had more pets than the average person. Still, I always grief for months when my pets die.
Like >>107168 said, adopt another pet when you feel ready. Helping an animal in need is the best way to honor the memory of your pet. You're not replacing them in any way, I have so many good memories of all the pets I had. I'll die one day too, but until then I'll love and care for as many animals as I can.

>>107168
>I'd always be expecting him to come around the corner or slip into my room and onto my bed like usual.
I'm so sorry nona, this is exactly what I'm going through with my cat. He'd always jump onto the bed with me at night time and be purring away until he fell asleep. I miss him so much.
>>107169
I do actually have two other cats that I got last year. I just don't have as strong a connection with these two.
Originally I had two cats, the one who just died plus another who died at the start of 2022 (kidney disease). My senior cat went into a bad depression and stopped eating after she died, which is why I got the other two cats. So you could say they were his cats, and he became his happy self again once they settled in. Thankfully they seem to be doing okay without him, I suppose because they have each other. It's just so strangely quiet without him because he was super talkative, and they don't meow at all. I hope I can grow closer to them with time.

One of my cats died recently in about October or November. We're not sure how, he was found dead under my sister's bed. No blood or throw up or anything. I miss him badly, my remaining cat seems so lonely and confused without him. I hope there's an afterlife for pets and that we can be with them again one day, I miss him badly. My aunt's dog died over the summer too and my childhood dogs have been gone for a while

Its going to be 4 years since i lost 2 of my childhood cats. There are times where i feel pangs of sadness but i need to lock in for my other cat. Shes 10 years old and i just want to appreciate whatever time i have left with her. It sucks cause i gotta work a full time job now but i reframe it as making sure she has a confortable life. But after her im not having another pet until i get 6 figs annually. Being poor and having a pet fucking sucks. Sorry for going on a tangent.

To answer your question…. Let yourself feel the grief. Repression doesn't do anyone any good. Find people who you can talk about your passed on pets to, or write about them. Whatever you do, keep their memorie alive because they're only in your life for a short while, but you're their whole world for their lifetime.

An Old Cat's Dying Soliloquy by Anna Seward:
>Years saw me still Acasto’s mansion grace,
>The gentlest, fondest of the tabby race;
>Before him frisking through the garden glade,
>Or at his feet in quiet slumber laid;
>Praised for my glossy back of zebra streak,
>And wreaths of jet encircling round my neck;
>Soft paws that ne’er extend the clawing nail,
>The snowy whisker and the sinuous tail;
>Now feeble age each glazing eyeball dims,
>And pain has stiffened these once supple limbs;
>Fate of eight lives the forfeit gasp obtains,
>And e’en the ninth creeps languid through my veins.
>Much sure of good the future has in store,
>When on my master’s hearth I bask no more,
>In those blest climes, where fishes oft forsake
>The winding river and the glassy lake;
>There, as our silent-footed race behold
>The crimson spots and fins of lucid gold,
>Venturing without the shielding waves to play,
>They gasp on shelving banks, our easy prey:
>While birds unwinged hop careless o’er the ground,
>And the plump mouse incessant trots around,
>Near wells of cream that mortals never skim,
>Warm marum creeping round their shallow brim;
>Where green valerian tufts, luxuriant spread,
>Cleanse the sleek hide and form the fragrant bed.
>Yet, stern dispenser of the final blow,
>Before thou lay’st an aged grimalkin low,
>Bend to her last request a gracious ear,
>Some days, some few short days, to linger here;
>So to the guardian of his tabby’s weal
>Shall softest purrs these tender truths reveal:
>‘Ne’er shall thy now expiring puss forget
>To thy kind care her long-enduring debt,
>Nor shall the joys that painless realms decree
>Efface the comforts once bestowed by thee;
>To countless mice thy chicken-bones preferred,
>Thy toast to golden fish and wingless bird;
>O’er marum borders and valerian bed
>Thy Selima shall bend her moping head,
>Sigh that no more she climbs, with grateful glee,
>Thy downy sofa and thy cradling knee;
>Nay, e’en at founts of cream shall sullen swear,
>Since thou, her more loved master, art not there.’

Random dumb question but do you guys believe in animal communication and animal psychics? I want to believe in it because I wanna believe in souls and afterlife and I want to be with my loved ones when we die but idk, there's lots of scammers and I'm not sure if I can really trust a lot of the stories I've heard

>>129945
Your soul is speaking out to you, listen to it, yes i believe it.
Consider reading some of Jacob Bohme's works.
Also winx is great.