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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Jobs Anonymous 108888

I work front desk at a hotel and I keep making tiny mistakes or just saying the wrong things.

Like last week my manager asked me to get this guys card that’s staying at the hotel till the 26th. They wanted his card because the last time he stayed here the company they book through, didn’t cover the cost of the room. So basically they’re trying to nab his card and charge him without really telling him what they’re doing. I felt really uncomfortable asking him for his card because of that tbh. So I just didn’t. I was gonna tell the lady who worked after me that I just forgot to get it but I forgot to tell her. So I have no idea if anyone got the card or not and I’m so nervous about Friday now.
How do you guys deal with the anxiety of working? Does everyone make little mistakes at their job?

Anonymous 108890

>Does everyone make little mistakes at their job?

Yeah, pretty much.

Anxiety kind of trips you up in how the stress causes you to make more mistakes. Don't worry too much about it, you'll find your confidence in time. If you do make a mistake it can help to be open about and apologize, there's the rare person out to get you or further themselves but most people will not care and have made so many mistakes themselves that they'll just laugh with you

Anonymous 108891


Funny thing I have been working that exact job for 5 years, I just got back home from it.

First, doing small mistakes is part of the job. A lot of a receptionist's day's work is about verifying stuff(normally), just because there is such a high propensity for irregularities.
Regarding the issue at hand there are different parts. I will give you my insight as a professional as if it were in my hotel.
The first one about the fact the company did not cover the room cost during the last stay:This never happens to us, the latest we realise there may be a problem with settlement is during the afternoon the day prior the guest's departure. If it is the case we hit the phone with all with have and the guest does not get to go in his room until we find the solution.

Second: He came back: Well, considering there was a problem last time, we would never give the guest the room until we are sure it is all sorted this time. Depending of your hotel, it maybe absolutely your manager's job to make sure everything is good before the arrival.

Third:Nabbing someone's card. You should be taking a working credit card as a guarantee for every single reservation upon reservation. If you don't have one, it is bad from the get go. Stealing a credit card or credit card details is illegal. Charging it is not only illegal too, but as you will be doing it without the PIN, it will make it very easy to contest through the bank.

Forth: Not passing on the info: Well the only thing you are vaguely liable for. And even that, your manager is a crook and a coward. I would be very inquisitive about in what capacity they are doing their job considering the absolute lack of anticipation.
At this rate why not hire a local gangster to steal the guest's wallet?

I used to be like you. Don't worry you are fine. And your reluctance is well placed. Giving you shit for this would be unprofessional for the reasons above.

Hit me back if you have any questions.

Anonymous 108893

So the third parties we use are a bit different. Do you use clc? It’s for the railroad mostly..I think. So we usually don’t take cards for those reservation because everything is suppose to be covered by clc. I actually don’t know why they didn’t cover his rooms. I know we had to backdate them because I didnt put them into that specific site but it was literally fixed the next day (by me). But those rooms ALWYAS clear through because it’s a direct bill. It’s just the settlement after he checked out did not. But I just feel like it’s not my responsibility to make sure to grab his credit card. It seems like a managers job. I’m also like a people pleaser and people genuinely make me nervous.

Anonymous 108894

I just feel like I’m always in flight or fight mode :/ I have adhd too and we have to do a lot of different things here. Like fold laundry and clean the lobby while also maintaining the front desk. Having to do so much at once really scrambles my brain.

Anonymous 108895

I don't know about clc, I work in France. It is only normal there are differences in our procedures.
A fair number of technical problems happen on a weekly basis, let alone the human kind.
It is not your responsibility to get the card, not in my book anyways.
The best solution would be to contact the guest on their phone and explain everything. Being honest is a good thing here. Nobody would want to be charged like this.
I don't think you have any issues, you are just stressed out, it will get better with time. I get it, I am there with you (though I don't do any cleaning), take notes, do your best and it will be all fine.

We regularly hire new people and the main reason it doesn't work is always the attitude toward the service, never the technical capabilities. You seem to be really kind and you want to do your best for the costumer, your are 80% there, a smidge of confidence will make you awesome.
Keep you chin up and brush it off like it is nothing. You're great!

Anonymous 108896


I have OCD and I've lost a lot of important years because of ergophobia.

This is it, actually. You exist in a fight or flight mode. A way to find if this is the case is when you finish a job, you don't feel accomplished and good about it, but you feel relieved that it's over and you don't have to deal with it until next time.

Anxiety and the old reptilian brain thinks that the difficulties you face at your job is important for your survival, when in reality the most you're going to experience unless you're working in an important job like healthcare is you're going to get fired. It's not the end of the world, but the reptilian brain assumes it to be the case.

So what anxiety does is, it tries to ruminate and check for all the possibilities in future where your survival is at stake. It imagines the worst case scenarios possible, and it also likes to go online asking for reassurances from strangers whether whatever you've been through is life threatening.

But here's the thing though. I can say "don't worry it's alright" but it's a lie. Truth is, you HAVE to worry. Even if it's your imagination, it's still a possible worst case scenario. Whatever anxiety is telling you is true, even if it has less chances of happening. You COULD have fucked up. That lady who worked after you COULD'VE forgotten about this card. Your manager COULD be pissed at you. Everything is possible, and this is the truth. The worst case scenario is you getting fired because of all the possibility, and that's a possibility too. That's all. But, your life is not at stake in here, even if your anxiety assumes it to be that way because it's outdated hardware.

Personally, I think there's a sense of liberation that I get when I understand that there's nothing I can do about it, especially wasting time ruminating about it and asking for reassurances online.

>Does everyone make little mistakes at their job?

Everyone makes mistakes, but they're able to ignore that and move on. Those who have serious anxiety related issues like imposter syndrome or OCD get stuck on it for biological or psychological reasons.

Anonymous 108897

What you do about it is all that can be done I guess. I try to not care too much, with real but limited success.
Not OP, but getting perspective is a good way to keep ourselves from going overboard with worry.
I don't know about you, but I think having a child would wind me up so bad I would be cartoon character powered by constant worry. Absolute madness.

Anonymous 108898

>What you do about it is all that can be done I guess.
There's something else you can do.
Habituation - Imagining the worst case scenario happening in your mind, in OP's case making a mistake and getting punished and fired for it, and constantly repeating it to the point you get bored of it and finally start to realize that it's not really as bad as it seems.

>I try to not care too much, with real but limited success.

It's really hard especially when there's anxiety. These fears ARE real even if the chances of it happening are very low.

>getting perspective is a good way to keep ourselves from going overboard with worry

If this works for OP, then that's cool. For some with anxiety issues, there's always the "but what if?" that keeps going on in their heads that never stops no matter how much logic and perspectives you throw at it.

>I think having a child would wind me up so bad I would be cartoon character powered by constant worry.

It's surely absolute hell.

I babysit a toddler and I have to worry all the time if she'd eat dirt or bang her head. I see her mom lose her mind whenever something wrong happens even if she's near her. She'd fall down and the next day all the sharp corners in her house will be stuck with cushion tapes that she'd peel as soon as the next day, and then it repeats. She can't get sick or her mom stops eating and then fills her up with heavy antibiotics till it goes away.

Anonymous 108903

I thought I was retarded because of all the small mistakes I'd make at my job. All I had to do was take calls and file customer details, but I'd always fuck it up and it made me feel like I was worthless. I was going to a doctor for a brain scan and was considering an IQ test over it. I was really worried and decided to break up with my boyfriend if it turned out I was developing dementia or some kind of degenerative disease. Then I found out it was my supervisor gaslighting me. She hated my guts and was editing files to change and delete details after I went home. I thought it was because of something personal, but it's because we have the same name and she thought I was undermining her career by taking credit for her work, going to steal her husband, impersonate her at work functions etc.

I now work for my boyfriend and honestly, nepotism fucking rocks. I just do the work that needs doing and go home whenever it's done. Some days I stay late so that the business can do well, but most days I go home early. I have very little stress, outside of crunch times during holidays and whatnot, and work fewer hours than ever before, for more pay. I get my personal wage for tax reasons, but all the profit from the business ends up in our shared account anyway. I still make some mistakes but having a lot of autonomy lets me put checks in place to catch them, that I wouldn't be able to implement if I had a direct supervisor trying to squeeze productivity out of me through busy-work.

Anonymous 108905

What helps is remembering it’s just a thing that pays the bills. No don’t over personalize it by thinking “i gotta perform well i gotta come across as the most competent so i don’t get fired.” That just exacerbates your anxiety. You have to turn it into something outside of yourself, like some kind vacuum in the universe that is your existence. It’s a things that operates outside your control really (and it does). So your lil hyperactive amygdala can take a rest and maybe worry about other things (like how inattentive you come across at a service job, dude go get a neuro scan or something).

Another thing that helps are benzos. Now shhhh, don’t tell me ya don’t need them. You might need them for a lil while to raise your functioning baseline.

Anonymous 108908

How hard do you think it would be to get Ativan and Vyvanse prescribed to me?? For my adhd and anxiety

Anonymous 108913

>how hard
Ativan is babby’s first downer. They hand those little devils like tictacs
For the vyvanse you would need a professional adhd assessment (you ll shell out a min 500$) to get prescribed vyvance.
Stick with l theanine.

Anonymous 108920

Not going to say that no one needs them but I feel compelled at the very least to share that it not a 'be all end all' medicine.
I am not even sure it really helped me out. I believe expectations should be managed.
I may be a special case as I never could comprehend Xanax could be taken recreationally.
Therapy as had a much bigger influence on me getting better.
Here is my two cents.

Anonymous 108934

Ofc no i agree with you 100%. Only OP’s anxiety is kinda interfering with her functions. Meds are necessary to bring someone out of the brink and establish a higher baseline. Therapy is to maintain the baseline and keep it sustainable

Anonymous 108940

Is hotel front desk comfy? do you ever work nights?

Anonymous 108945

Not OP.
Yes and no.

Anonymous 108955

My last job I quit because my manager had it out for me because she had a thing for another employee. Said employee and me dated (that’s a different story). So one day she called me up in the office because I called in too much, I had just had major surgery, pancreatitis, and I chemical burn from the latex bandages they used. I ended up going down stairs in tears. She called me back up 10 minutes later to yell at me for crying. Later I found her son died a few years prior and to be honest good. I hope she suffers

Anonymous 108957

Thanks for the kind words:3 it makes me a little less anxious just knowing other people make mistakes. Like most guests like me and I don’t ever lose my temper or get snippy. It’s just more of the technically stuff that I mess up. But also the system we use is such crap.
Do you get along with the housekeepers you work with?? I don’t really talk to anyone here and the housekeepers are all teenagers and kind of dicks. I don’t know how to handle them tbh

Anonymous 108960

Well I already go to therapy and they have bad silly diagnosed me with adhd,ocd, and they can’t decide if I have boarder-line or bipolar. I take Wellbutrin which I’m pretty sure is make my OCD worse which is why I’m so anxious. It do be helping the ADHD. Then a mood stabilizer. They other two drugs are useless though. I wanna take Ativan and vyvance together with the Wellbutrin

Anonymous 108983

Why are muttmericans so trigger friendly with slapping on you ALL the alphabet labels? My therapist is dutch and ive whined to her for nigh a year and she says I have dysthemia. The only other person whom i know has dysthemia got sent home with mood stabilizers. And that was in france.

Anonymous 108990

>more of the technically stuff that I mess up. But also the system we use is such crap
idk about your job but I used to write checklists for myself and in the beginning I ticked off each step until I trusted myself to know everything by heart

Anonymous 108998


>>108895 here
Housekeeping management is a nightmare.
We ended up getting a third party company for housekeeping, and we still have problems: this morning the one in charge of their team did not bring back one of the passes which is a security hazard.
They are not from this part of the EU, so it brings a lot of 'challenges', of cultural and linguistic nature. Tedious stuff.
Yesterday evening our whole internet connection went down which was really bad. SSDD, you know the drill right?
We ended up working this out nicely though. So much for the wonders AI, I would just like basic stuff to not break down so often, is that too much to ask?
As I said before, the technical stuff will sort itself out, housekeeping will probably always be a pain, but I promise, this job in a nice place is awesome(most of the time).

Anonymous 108999

They have incentives purely driven by profits. Patient welfare is secondary.

Anonymous 109000

Tbh Dutch health care professionals lean towards the other side of the extreme, they are sometimes too reluctant to prescribe anything here.

Anonymous 109004

In my beautiful bountiful thirdie shithole, the diagnosis is always “fine” or “fine until patient nosedives so fucking bad due to being dismissed for so long they end up triggering psychosis. that’s when we pump them full of valium from the canisters marinating since the 1960’s and watch them atrophy in the metal beds of the psych ward while their family gets shunned and ostracized for having bred a loon”

Anonymous 109119

Idk if you know this but actually most adult Americans especially women don’t have access to mental healthcare and two have a terrible time getting diagnosed. Most people self diagnose.

Anonymous 109121

The view we have of the US in Europe is very warped and deeply influenced by medias, let alone whatever we read on the internet in general.

I am however very curious about the credit given to such 'self diagnosis' in the process of getting treatment and/or medication. How does it play out with the insurance?

Also, is it commonplace over there to deem oneself competent in the medical field and it specialties while holding no or very few credentials? Not that we follow what our doctors tell us blindly but the sheer difference in time spent studying reminds us quickly that we are out of our depth here…

Anonymous 109124

The hotel I used to work at had enough guests like that it was just decided that everyone had to pay for their rooms up front.

Anonymous 109125

Insurance lol you think we have insurance lolol
Most of us just run it and hope not to die. Your either on Medicare (government insurance for the old,young, and disabled), you get insurance from your work which covers absolutely nothing, or you have money.
Also it’s not really that Americans think they’re competent enough to diagnose themselves, there’s just really no other options. I live in a small state in a small town so things work differently here. We get public healthcare (kind of) and it’s not shit. So for me to go to therapy it’s $8 plus $16 to see a psychologist. It’s based off my income and then the state pays for the rest. This only happens because like I said it’s a small state but also one of the only states that still has an industry so the state has money. Public hospitals in America means for certain things you’ll pay less but overall if you go to the doctor they can’t turn you away.
So if you were to say go a public clinic in New York you’d get hepatitis from just being in the building. Doctors only have to treat you in emergency because most hospitals are privatized. We’re a third world nation despite being one of the wealthiest nations.

Anonymous 109149

I was not trying to ignite any EU vs US with unfair comparisons, I guess our poverty is just different due to our systems being different.
It indeed seems difficult and costly to get treatment.
Regarding not having health insurance, no coverage at all is still considered a lot less costly than, let's say, some minimal and limited coverage? Do you get something with your workplace?

Anonymous 109317


How do I stop ruminating about extremely creative scenarios that could possibly happen where I fail at work and embarrass myself?

I'm getting a new job for the first time and I can't stop it.

Anonymous 109321

You basically just don’t go to the doctor at all. Most Americans are living in real poverty. So there’s no point to pay for health insurance cause it’s not gonna cover anything. We don’t have a lot of assistance offered to us. Kids do just not adults. I get health insurance through my job it’s not great but because it’s a small town it’s not so bad here. You just go into medical debt which most Americans have. We have special apps that help keep pharmaceutical costs down or certain pharmacies have their own discounts they’ll use.

Anonymous 109323

By forcing yourself to think about something else whenever that occurs.
Ex: the positives things that will cone out of it.

Anonymous 110595

I work at a hotel and there’s only like one other girl who works with me besides the mangers and the two women who run night audit. She genuinely kind of fucking doesn’t do half of the shit were suppose to. Like we have this drink cooler and I fill it every night on my shift. When I have my days off and she works my shift. I’ll come back and it’ll be basically empty. It’s just a bunch of crap like that. I haven’t really said anything about it. Welp yesterday I told these guys they could have rollaways in their room. When they showed up they never asked for them so assumed they didn’t need them. Well I guess rollaways aren’t suppose to go in those room types blah blah. So she booked them another room and there was quite literally no issue. This dumb cunt literally left a note for the managers about it.

Anonymous 111097

I left my pretty decent job in November bc depression and now I kinda regret it. Still unemployed and my parents are kicking my ass about it.

I'm thinking of going back (to the old job) but it would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? They made me a farewell party and everything. My HR manager said something like "you can contact me if you need anything/if anything ever happens".

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