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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Is shallow attraction worth anything? Anonymous 109020

Is shallow attraction worth anything?

Let's say someone falls in love with me for only my physical traits. Then is their love worthless? Because even if I were a complete psychopath, they would not know and probably not care. The entirety of my being except for my body would be something they had to deal with to fuck me or parade me around to their friends. Is such a kind of love worthless, or is it worth something?

Anonymous 109021

in the long run, its worthless. what happens when your physical traits diminish overtime?

that sort of attraction is good for the self esteem though. but its shitty when it ends too

Anonymous 109023

Your point is valid, but I think that it is important to consider how everything changes about a person. If someone loves you for your personality or something else intrinsic about you, that thing will still shift and change over time. Especially things like big life events can drastically alter who a person is and how they interact with the world around them. In any relationship I feel that it's important to understand what each person is in it for. If you both understand that your attraction is shallow and you're really just wanting to fuck until your interest wanes, then I see no problem with that. Same goes for if you're not really interested in each other physically or sexually but just want a romantic partner in your life. Granted, that sort of thing is very rare, especially if we're talking about moids, but it is still a thing.

Anonymous 109027

But you aren't a psycho, are you? Apparently they find you tolerable, even attractive.
I find such general thinking to be useless.

Anonymous 109037

i guess it really depends on what you build your relationship on. for me its always been morality and humor, having those stay the same is important for me, and that every other aspect can change overtime and be okay with it.

i feel it might be hard to build something based on looks… but i guess if you actively try to keep up appearances it might be okay.

Anonymous 109042


If you were narcissistic or a psychopath you wouldn't even care to be asking, so in that sense yes. But it would be a twisted love.

Otherwise no, because you will be dumped the moment you get your first wrinkle or gray hair.

Anonymous 109043

Isn't this basically what "friends with benefits" relationship is?

Any sense of love that goes beyond physical intimacy is cut down. There are people that are probably good in bed but would end up being bad partners and you're only interested in sex. It's not fair to say that it's worth nothing, but it's eventually lacking in meaning. It would work for some if they're okay with it, but that's not for me.

Anonymous 109050

The question sounds like it is a bit of a curve ball as it relies a lot on the definition of love.

Some say there is no love, only acts of love, or something like that. I interpret that as action that are undertaken by someone in regard to another.
Conversely, one is free to interpret those actions as acts of love or not.
It looks like it is a two way street.
However truthful someone's manifestation of love is, if it does not correspond to the other party's expectations of what is love to be like, then it doesn't work.

Back to op's question: I guess it very much depends on what holds worth in your book.

In a larger sense, I believe entering a relationship should always be with some degree of preparation: what are the expectations, what are we willing to provide, how is it supposed to work out, etc…

I noticed that I have a much better time forming relationships (not only romantic ones) when I already have these things in mind beforehand.

Anonymous 109309


Anonymous 109320

This. You are setting up yourself for failure. You're even wasting your looks on someone who won't stick after they have faded

Anonymous 109497

my bf only likes me cuz im white

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