me-upon-finding-Xi…
Anonymous 109997
>>109983OP here. Didn't know "discard" has the same connotation as "lose". I specifically said "discard" to avoid implying like I think I lost something
Anonymous 109998
Gonna keep venting.
My life is completely colorless. I'm a NEET again because even a low-effort degree in a no-name college turned out to be too challenging. I only go outside to buy groceries, take out the trash, and get cigarettes for my boyfriend, who is also a lifeless vegetable, even more so than me. He plays video games from the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep. They aren't even good, he likes mobile money-grabbers with no compelling content. Seeing him waste his youth like that makes me want to close my eyes and never open them again. He also doesn't care about me and I have a hunch that he still loves his exes.
I have no interest in anything. Sometimes I somehow manage to resurrect my ever-dying passion (although it's quite a stretch to call it that now) for languages, which is when my suicidal thoughts fade for some time. But it never lasts because I inevitably run into difficulties, and once I do, I quit. That's how I quit 3D, drawing, studying, reading. Fucking hell, I can't even go through two paragraphs of a book without starting to hate it from the bottom of my heart. It's that boring. You'd think that it's because my attention span has been ruined by TV shows and TikTok, but I can't stand them either.
My health is in shambles. I'm ugly because of micrognathia and abysmal teeth. That has ruined me. And it can't be fixed. I will never achieve the dreams I had because of that. I will never be alive again.
Anonymous 110029
does anyone else feel like the vigor of this site has gone down over time? i wonder why that is.
Anonymous 110031
>>110030
im not sure. i remember i used to read a lot more radfem theory posts than relationship threads (not saying its good nor bad)
Anonymous 110036
Is it weird to break silence after a few weeks of a fight with a guy who you only went on 2 dates with? I miss him
Anonymous 110039
>>110036That depends on where you two left things. Was he willing to take things forward? Most guys are pretty desperate so I'm sure you could just reach out.
Anonymous 110059
vegetables.jpg
I feel like I'll be hitting my head with a mallet and my boyfriend won't even look at me. He arrived here from his hometown at the end of December and two months later he doesn't want to exchange a word with me, let alone hug or cuddle. He only remembers about my existence when he needs something, and we're literally in the same room all day. He doesn't want to do anything but play on his tablet. How did I deserve this.
Anonymous 110064
I'm so fucking BITTER. I'm tired of normals bitching about their lives and I don't care if it's wrong to compare pain and all that but the shit they said made their lives miserable is fucking nothing. I was homeschooled throughout my whole life by my mom who clearly had an issue with me being a female, would dressed me like my autistic brother, and isolated me my whole life. When I tell normals "I had no friends" they say things like "yeah I wasn't popular in high school either!" and other benign shit and I can't get across to them that I saw. Literally. NO ONE. except my mom and my brother and maybe my dad the little time he was home from business. I was hardly ever allowed to play outside in the back yard and definitely not in the front yard. I couldn't tell the difference between males and females when I was stuck into college and went into a STEM field, my grad student partner quit her sister thesis and I had to do the equivalent of two theses and I just did it because all I knew was work, and I STILL couldn't get a job with my degree because I can't fucking interact with others properly. COVID came along and for once I was happy, everyone else's life became my life and guess what? Suicide and depression skyrocketed, while I flourished and felt normal in society for once. Now everyone is back to normie life and I was left behind again. I hate seeing them all happy, none of them could empathize with me until they were literally forced to and were so fucking happy to leave this lifestyle at the first chance and they just are baffled why I can't do the same. I wish we had another plague so they can go back to having to live in my world the way I'm foced to live in theirs.
Anonymous 110067
>>110064I can't fucking stand having to interact with adults now that I'm a mother. I interact more easily with the children than the grownups in the family, they won't even play with their own kids. We went to the playground last week and all the parents just sat there on their phones clucking like hens "don't do this little Timmy don't climb on that little Sally!" and I was the only parent even bothering to play on the playground with their own fucking children and playing pretend and all of a sudden I had kids not even my own flocking to me and I was suddenly side-eyed like a weirdo for helping remind them take turns down the slides instead of kicking each other in the fucking face. No one wanted to talk or play or anything. What is even the point of going then? One stupid kid tried to follow me and my kids 200 feet to the other playground, panicked when she realized that she couldn't find her mom, and the mom only got up when she realized her daughter was walking around with a stranger as I tried to help her find her family, and treated me like I was a kidnapper. I apologized and said I was often mistaken for a child and she criticized me for wearing a comfortable old retro videogame shirt, which was perfect playground attire as it was okay to get messy, "well it's what you're
wearing, she says while in Nike's, jeans you can't run in and an expensive purse around her shoulder. You can't even play in that.
I hate even trying, there is no reward, only punishment for attempting to interact with normies or even going where they are. I'm trying so hard to make sure my kids aren't antisocial like me and now I'm even wondering if my mom was right to lock me away from all these fuckers. At least my daughter seems to make friends easily and is very sociable.
Anonymous 110068
>>110067what a waste of space that woman was, she was embarrassed she wasn't watching her own child and projected it onto you. totally typical too.
Anonymous 110069
>>110068It's extremely typical, I have to take shit like that from normies ALL. the time. The neigbbor kids have made a fort in a vacant lot next to the school bus stop. Before it was covered in trash, sticker plants and poison ivy. There was nothing for them to do but fight and make a mess before. I helped them take out the sticker plants, picked the poison ivy for them as I'm not allergic, and helped them bring bricks and now they play "minecraft" there before and after school. I had this bitchy lady who lives on that street complain that "the kids can be molested there it's dangerous!!! When before there was no visibility into the shrubs and trees, and now there's a place to sit in the shade and flowers are starting to grow in the warm seasons. I had tried to make friends with this lady for a year, I would smile and wave like normies are supposed to like and she would yell at us "you kids stay away from my car!", she had called maintenance and even tried to call the police on us. After maintenance saw the cleaned lot that they used to have to clean themselves they told her to go away and "leave those kids alone" but she still harasses me when she sees me. I had another lady at the other playground pretend to pull a gun out at me when I was rescuing a rose bush in a vacant lot that the construction people were tearing down and was going to replant it. I don't understand what the hell I'm doing wrong.
Anonymous 110070
>>110064Damn, nona, your life sounds similar to mine. I went into STEM, too, except I haven't graduated, yet. Did you ever experience any educational neglect? For me, I didn't receive any schooling after the third grade, and so I didn't know long division until I was like 17/18. When I went for my community college placement tests, I straight up placed into pre-algebra, and the academic advisor was demeaning to me because I wanted to pursue STEM. (This was slightly before COVID happened) There was a lot of basic knowledge that I didn't know that others took for granted - being able to read analogue clocks, knowing how to visualize angles (I was asked to turn at a 45 degree angle, and I didn't know how). I had also never written an essay before, too. I also didn't know fractions, either. I didn't think that the teachers at college would be able to understand my experience because they were helping retards who struggling with things that they had already been exposed to, rather than people who were starting from scratch. Then, I just went into full self-study modo for a year and a half and came back and placed into Calculus I. Stupid bitch. However, because of my lack of adequate academic records (I essentially had to forge my academic transcripts to get into college, and the GED wanted proof of me "dropping out," when I was never enrolled into any school in the first place), they forced me into a lower level math class. I made full 100's in a couple of them. I've taken Calculus I-III now, and I'm now taking Differential Equations. I haven't made below an A in a math class, and I also got into a highly ranked school. I've watched my K-12 educated peers apply to the same school and rejected, and it makes me seethe, because if I could do this without any education, then it makes me question what I could do with education. Their retarded asses were essentially spoonfed everything from birth - educations, friendships, and being able to meet important developmental milestones and couldn't pull off what I've pulled off. It makes me sick to my stomach. Now, I'm pretty sure that I have caught up academically - I'm half-way done with my degree, and I've got a 4.0 GPA. But, like you, I'm feeling the effects of my poor social skills finally catching up with me; previously, I was too distracted by trying to get adjusted to being in a real school environment simply to think about it. I'm livid because I feel like everyone already has their social groups. This is especially accentuated since I have recently transferred to a university - everyone already knows everyone else. It feels like I have been locked out of the world, essentially. I have taken an extensive amount of effort to put myself out there, to initiate contact, but it is like there is something fundamentally wrong with me on a deep level. I watch my classmates and coworkers get along, and it seems like they are able to instantly bond with each other based on shared experiences that I don't have. I've been unable to keep any of the friends I make in college, and I know that my body language and way of thinking are extremely uncanny from years and years of isolation. It makes them uncomfortable, but I can't help it because this is how my programming is as a result of what I endured throughout my developmental years. I don't know if I will ever be able to get a boyfriend because they all have a lot of relationship experience from going to middle school and high school, while I'm still a KHHV, and I'm gearing up to accept witchhood as my fate. As a result of all of this, I feel alienated from these so-called "weird" imageboard posters. They wouldn't know true alienation even if it it bit them in the ass. It is as if I am living on a completely different plane from everyone else.
Anonymous 110071
>>110070But, to finish my thought, it is difficult to pay for university because I was unable to get any scholarships - financial aid for transfer students is very poor, and they offer jack shit. I feel like my college experience has been a slow and prolonged train wreck. I've simply been spinning my wheels with little progress, and I seriously feel like it's a waste of time. I'm skeptical that I am going to be able to get a job when I graduate, even though I am a minority in my field, simply because my social skills are that bad. I struggle to network with people because I don't fit in at all and struggle to hold a basic conversation. My degree is one of the hardest for my specific field, and study groups are vital to success, and because everyone is so closed off into their own groups, I don't know how I am going to survive. I feel like my life is genuinely an objective case where suicide is genuinely a good option. I'm so socially inept that I don't even think I could get a husband to leech off of like the average woman does. I'm not even socially inept in the cute and quirky way, but more like Chris Chan. I'm mentally preparing myself for homelessness. I'm trying my hardest. I hate normalfags so much it's unreal, and I loathe how they have had everything handed to them. They will never comprehend what it is like to to not be attuned to the world in a basic way because they were simply allowed to develop socially.
Anonymous 110073
>>110067>doesn't consider herself a normie>is a mother Anonymous 110074
>>110073Literally anyone can make children. It's not hard to get sperm, there are doctor places you can go to get sperm donations if you can't get a guy to give you his seed.
>>110071Yes and yes. I also had a very weak mathematical background, which was doubly a travesty because my dad was a math/cs double major. College is not meant to learn at, apparently. You're supposed to "network", but I didn't learn that until years after I left.
Anonymous 110075
>>110073Excuse my double post, but to add to this, most normal women I know don't even LIKE their own children that they have. I had my babies because I genuinely like spending time with kids. Not all kids, but generally more than grownups.
Anonymous 110076
>>110070How did you get into college if you knew nothing?
Anonymous 110077
>>110076Not that poster, but I found out years later that my mom had forged my transcripts to get me in. I only found out because I broke into the filing cabinet to get my birth certificate which I also wasn't allowed access to.
Anonymous 110079
>>110059Literally the exchange I had right now:
>"let's do something">(not looking up from the tablet) "I don't want to"I can't take this anymore
Anonymous 110080
>>110076I'm the original anon. This was for community college, but I'm not sure how it goes for freshmen ""homeschool"" students trying to enter a university. Anyway, in some states, the laws are really really lax for homeschooling. How it worked for me, is when you applied, you just ticked the homeschool box. Then, when you got in, you had to submit transcripts. My parents just made up some bullshit on Word in 10 minutes, and for some ungodly reason, the college accepted it. Anonette likes baking? Put that on her transcript and make it sound fancy. Counted pennies once while shopping? Consumer math. Holy fuck, I am embarrassed by my "transcripts." Then, you took the placement test, which I scored extremely low on. They must have thought I was retarded.
When I transferred to my current university, they never asked for any high school transcripts, just my college transcripts. I live in a southern hellhole state where homeschooling laws are legitimately nonexistent, though, and I don't think that I could have gotten my documents accepted as easily if I were in a state like California or New York. In my state, there was a case where a family stopped teaching their kids because of the rapture, and the state sided with them. That's how ass backwards it is where I live.
Anonymous 110081
>>110079Ignore him and do fun things without him. You don't need another person to do interesting things, if he wants to be a bump on a log and just exist then just treat him as such. He'll either a) get fed up and try/leave or b) your life will improve.
>>110080Literally the shit my mom put for my transcripts. I can't believe the trash that university will accept, and when I became a grad student suddenly in charge of grading undergrad work I realized just how bad things really were.
Anonymous 110082
>>110079How the fuck you people find the literally worst boyfriends?
If my man wasn't obsessed with me/clingy I would not want him anymore, I want a boyfriend, not a roommate.
Anonymous 110086
>>110070>>110064i was also educationally neglected through homeschooling and am doing a stem degree (ece) right now…exact same thing with having never written an essay until english 101. deferred differential equations this semester to take linear algebra & stats. same frustration with the transfer scholarships…how many of us are there?
>>110076community college accepts anyone
Anonymous 110087
>>110085
>how many of us are there?
Probably thousands, and if your backgrounds are anything like mine, we were kept isolated from each other as well as everyone else, which is exacerbated by the fact that, if you guys were also socially isolated, I also don't feel the need for socialization. The only reason I posted today was to vent my frustrations at being essentially forced to socialize to function in any capacity outside the house.
Anonymous 110092
>>110090
I'm too ugly, lethargic, and boring to date someone good.
Anonymous 110097
I am crying and he is still playing a video game. I should kill myself.
Anonymous 110099
>>110092You overestimate how much moid settle for less, usually the prettier the guy the more desperate he is if anything
Get a gym membership and literally hit on any semi-attractive guy you can find and get a new bf the worst thing could be keeping the conversation if he is nervous and lacks action
Anonymous 110100
>>110099I'm sorry but I don't believe you. If I hit on anyone, I'll be laughed at due to my looks.
Anonymous 110108
tired-young-woman-…
I started to work and my whole routine that I used to follow as a NEET is messed up. I don't take care of my skin, I started to doomscroll and masturbate, I started to sleep more and ain't maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, I don't go out for a jog, I don't read books, I don't watch movies, I struggle to barely do anything. My work is consuming me so much even though I only work for like 8 hours because I'm so stressed and all I think about is "what is going to happen tomorrow?" and "did I mess anything up?" and "who is going to betray me?". It's exhausting. I wish I could just turn off my brain once I leave the gates of the office but I bring it with me right till I sleep, and even nightmares are based on my work sometimes. I always think about sitting down to do something about all this on a nice Sunday to make sure I plan my days and balance everything but I'm so tired and sleepy right now.
Anonymous 110111
>>110109
It literally sucks.
Anonymous 110113
I miss her. I've seen videos she let a man's hand on her hips so I know she's a dick sucker, and she even smokes now it's all disgusting. I could just meet her once and properly realise our differences instead I'm just obsessing like an idiot because I've literally zero friends
Anonymous 110119
I'm sorry for having such a moid-centric vent, this is also my first time posting on an image-board (I hath been a lurker for ages) so apologies, I just cannot fathom how retarded this scrote is
> First-time clubbing meet a twinkish, weird moid
> talk to him about common interests (philosophy)
> because hes a scrote, he tries to kiss me eventually
> i dodge because WTF!
> very drunk, end up kissing him, was my first (and only) kiss, get his socials b4 leaving
> talk to him, go on dates a few times
> end up talking to him for almost a year, only hang out a few times despite living not even 10 min away (he is a grown man who cant even drive kek)
> it is clear there are romantic intentions, as we literally go on dates over the 10 months, speak romantically, message each other multiple times every single day
> fast forwards to a few weeks ago, he is basically begging to hang out and find a time that works, so he can give me a gift
> I am literally dodging him like the plague because I am deeply troubled
> end up hanging out
> he gives me a rose he handmade
> stem made of copper
> flower part made of a book about some Russian War "because we spoke about communism when we met"
> added a part near the flower that resembles an animal bone (also related to when we met)
> messages me three days after meeting
> "I've really enjoyed spending time with you but I feel like our chemistry is more friendly than romancey. So I think maybe I would rather be your friend than anything more."
Are men retarded?
I know the situation is my fault as I acted entirely disinterested, however , I am still really hateful towards him because it was so out of the blue. I feel like he has either found a different woman to try pursue (lead on), was offended by my underwhelming reaction to his gift (i despise receiving things and cannot hide it), or, is more male-brained than he lead me to believe and his caveman brain activated after seeing me with no makeup (I was looking musty when we last met, mainly because I wanted to end things anyway deep down.). I know I sound like a terrible person, but I am not happy with him either !
Anonymous 110124
>>110119Be glad you dodged that hot mess of red flags.
Anonymous 110127
Girl I know is so sensitive and emotionally unstable that nobody ever says anything when she goes on a racist rant out the fuck of nowhere. Neither do I tbh because she'd start crying and grovelling that she's the worst person alive and she should kill herself and leave me all the money in her will to apologise. Yes, that actually happened before.
I do feel sorry for her in some ways, she does have legit abusive childhood but her shithead parents really rubbed off on her.
Anonymous 110138
>>110129
Yes, I don't have a problem with driving men around either, I don't let them drive me (I value my life), main issue was the fact that he has no desire to learn and his ego was too fragile to ask me to drive
Anonymous 110140
Or he can hate cars because they're ugly, noisy, and polluting
Anonymous 110142
>>110139>>110140Yeah I'm probably being unfair. He did initially say he doesn't drive because of the pollution, eventually unveiled its just because he cant be bothered getting his license, I'm definitely nitpicking, it's just really fun to hate on him
Anonymous 110144
icegif-1027.gif
I love you, miners. You make my life better.
Anonymous 110145
>>110120
i had never said anything homophobic about anyone until a couple of days ago when my moidfriend told me the girls he was once having a threeway with started 69'ing after he'd left them alone for a few minutes. i can't explain why that disgusted me as much as it did
Anonymous 110168
>>110167
i hang out with A degenerate. i wouldn't touch the other two with a 10 foot pole
as for him he is not really promiscuous now that he's done some looksminning
Anonymous 110169
Bunch of troons larping as wamen, cringe af
Anonymous 110170
what the fuck is this place
Anonymous 110171
>>110169Actually we are wamen larping as troons larping as wamen.
Anonymous 110178
I'm NEETing at the moment because I told myself I'd go on a gap year after passing the medical board examinations. I fucking regret it and I wish I was out there doing something. The grass is greener on the other side though because my friends who are in residency hate every second of it and are doing a minimum of 108 hour weeks. I hate being a doctor here. There's no money in it unless you're a nepo baby inheriting a practice or a hospital. I want to kms.
Anonymous 110180
>>110142>pollutionThat should’ve been your first indicator that he’s retarded. Either he genuinely lets that inhibit his life or he thinks people are retarded enough to accept his retarded answer
Anonymous 110183
>>110178On the bright side, when you’re finally slaving during your residency you will be less inclined to look at “the other side” because you’ll have tangible memories of how shit neetdom is.
Anonymous 110187
>Do the thingI don't want to do the thing. I don't like the person, I don't want to do the thing for them. They already have enough as it is, and on such short notice there's no way I can do the thing without it being a considerable burden on me.
>Don't do the thingI am socially shunned. I am considered "not a team player". I am labelled an outcast and a threat. I recede further into my small niche, and it becomes harder still to reach out to others.
I'm not doing the thing but it vexes me that they expect me to do the thing in the first place.
>>110067>I was suddenly side-eyed like a weirdo for helping remind them take turns down the slides instead of kicking each other in the fucking face.Huh. I'm a high school teacher and, yeah pretty much. With that said kids are far more pleasant to work with; dealing with adults sucks. Adults are just kids who won't listen to you.
>>110119>Are men retardedSounds like he's an awkward dude who's into you but is batshit scared of admitting his feelings because you'll reject him. Ngl I'm jealous of your gift - it sounds like he put a lot of effort into it because he loves you.
>>110182>Incorrect opinion>Banned for lifeI really truly cannot stand how little effort these losers need to exert to silence an opinion they don't like. It used to be that you had to actually explain
why you didn't agree with someone; no longer the case!
Anonymous 110191
kashirakashira.png
I'm friends with X and X and I have a lot of arguments and I sometimes get extremely angry at him and I had no outlets to express them, so I went to Y and used to complain about him, and only complain. Me and X would often fight, but we would also somehow make up and the cycle kept going on until all Y knew about X is the angry things I told about X to him so a really bad image about X got somehow formed in the process in Y's mind. I also texted Y so he probably has all messages still with him, but stupid me cleared the texts because I don't want to read them again or I don't want anyone else to read them.
Almost a year passed and Y casually threw a comment before Y while I wasn't there and X became very thrown off and started by what Y told about X in front of him, and he came and confronted me about why Y even has that kind of opinion about him because of me. Problem is I'm damn sure I've said a lot of horrible things about him when I was very angry but we made up all the time and it was really long ago and I can't remember anything. He confronted me and I accepted and I couldn't do anything but profusely apologize, but it's still not enough because this is permanent damage. I feel like I ruined everything and nobody should be friends with a gossiping opportunistic bitch like me.
Anonymous 110193
Can't wait to see all the damage stats on women caused by the e-cigs. Sucking on those things indoor like damn candies ugh
Anonymous 110195
>>110193i dislike smokers in general but i fucking hate those who smoke indoors, and somehow they think smoking an e-cig makes it any better. "it doesn't smell" yes it fucking does "there's no nicotine" i don't want to inhale it either way "it's harmless" we'll see that in 30 years
Anonymous 110201
>>110198nothing can fill the void. i NEED to kill myself, mom.
Anonymous 110204
>>110187Godspeed. The reason I never want and will never want to go into teaching is because of the adults that you have to interact with on a daily basis, not just the kids. If you met a shitty kid in a class and had free reign you can easily cut a tall poppy down, but coddling, bitchy parents will never let their precious boo-boo-babbies be wrong. You're braver than I.
Anonymous 110207
GB-GtwGW0AATRRC.jp…
I just started to work as a teacher and none of the students see me as a teacher because of my small frame. Even teachers from other sections think I'm a student. So far I'm not asked to teach anything because I'm new to the job but I'm dreading what's going to happen in future when I'm asked to.
Anonymous 110214
MovingOnBBC.jpg
I've been struggling so much with my younger sister. When we were young we were super close and always did everything together, we were inseparable. She had her own room which was never used because she just lived in mine. In the past few years though she just wants nothing to do with me and never has the time for me.
She's a NEET just like me but for some reason she's so aggressively distant. I try to talk to her, be involved with what she does, but she always pushes me away. I can see that maybe I'm being too pushy but I guess I'm just dependent on her. Every time she seems upset with me though it hurts so much.
I know I've just gotta accept that my cheerful little sister who always followed me around no longer exists but it's so difficult to just move on. Everytime I'm like "alright, I'll try to start distancing myself so I'm not just letting myself be vulnerable and get hurt" but I always end up thinking it's mean and sad to walk away from her. I always end up coming back to her thinking "maybe now she'll want something to do with me" and end up just getting hurt when she says she's "busy". She was literally just gone for a week with my parents and she came back and I was excited to share the interesting stuff that happened with me and to talk to her about her week and she just said "I decided I wanted to learn how to crochet, we can talk tomorrow" and I felt so crushed and foolish. She's always like this.
It'd be easier if she were always mean but every once in a blue moon she'll show signs of how she used to be and we'll actually have fun together but then immediately after she wants nothing to do with me again.
I know it's not healthy for me to be so dependent on her, and maybe I am legitimately upsetting her, but it just feels so wrong to walk away and be just as distant to her as she is to me. I absolutely have to give up on her and move on I just don't know how to commit to that without crawling back to her. For once I'd finally like to say "I'm done" and actually mean it.
Anonymous 110216
>>110214I don't know your sister but she sounds like me once upon a time. I had similar mood swings growing up, due to a personality disorder along with insomnia. It altered my temper and social tolerance. Maybe something of the like could be it?
Anonymous 110217
I am sorry but if you are so afraid of being hated then simply don't hurt people? Easy to say "forget about it! you are a loser for still caring!" lol no. Realize the fact that people hold grudges and maybe it's on you to apologize
Anonymous 110218
i couldnt stop being mean to my older brother and now he's stopped defending me. I make a lot of stupid decisions and he was always the one who would come and defend me.
One boy harassed me at school and my brother went to go fight him for me. I didn't tell him to fight the boy and he ended up getting both me and himself in trouble for fighting so I ended up yelling at him a lot and telling him i didnt ask him to defend me.
I've never seen him regret helping me so much in his life, I just saw his face flicker as he probably questioned everything hes done for me so far. He just said "don't ever ask me for anything again" and since that day he has barely ever spoken to me.
He moved out to go attend medical school and hes out there studying hard to be successful and I just sit in my room rotting. He practically refuses to even speak with me now. He took out my little sister for ice cream and purposefully left the house with her quietly so as to not alert me.
I took him for granted and resented him for everything he did for me and Im regretting the price ive paid. I know hes a fucking filthy ugly moid but I want him back
Anonymous 110224
Tumblr_l_244639280…
>>109995I HATE love. More than anything I hate having it thrown in my face like I need to enjoy it and enjoy performance horse shit for
males. Holy shit I hate males so much. But especially when im manipulated to feel sorry about hating love. They are such a plague and a menace getting after me about ANYTHING I chose to do with my life ( all of it without them) when they're the worst possible thing that can happen to a life.
No matter what I do this feeling always comes back, it's inevitable. I'm blissful when I'm in my own world millions of miles away from their influence and lies, but i become jet black rage when i feel i have to perform in any way for them.
After being stalked ill never trust these sacks of shit again. They destroy your entire mind when you're young and then try to fuck what's left of your corpse when you've grown up because a corpse is easier. And I should feel bad and
guilty and grateful because of the the corpse women who never had "privelege and opportunity" to wake up? Fuck these filthy animals and all the ways they trash the earth.
They never actually have your back if you don't play their self motivated games and stay a corpse for them to easily manipulate and lie to and control. I hate love so much it gives me goosebumps.
Anonymous 110225
>>110218So he was expecting bows and praises for hurting the bad guy, with no clue or care on how you would actually feel about it. I don't know what else he did for you, but in this scenario, I see nothing wrong with your actions.
Anonymous 110229
Toxic fans can seriously curb your enthusiasm, especially the gatekeeping types who aggressively scrutinize every fan and resort to swearing to appear intimidating, disgusting behavior, no wonder they stick to their narrow echo chambers.
Anyway im tired of joining communities and getting treated like shit, fuck them
Anonymous 110234
i barely show up to class anymore because everytime i go i get reminded of how disconnected i am from other people. because of that my grades are horrible and i'm risking getting kicked out of college. it's not even hard for me to talk, it's just that no one listens to me when i do. people are so used to me being silent they often don't notice i'm saying something unless i repeat myself 3-6 times. and i'm not soft-spoken either.
i wasn't always like this, it was simply poor timing. i was going through a really traumatic event during my 1st year of college and while everyone was busy socializing and forming friend groups i was simply trying not to cry in class. all my energy went towards processing and coping with that shit and whatever i had left over i used to half-ass my assignments.
i'm so tired and the degree i'm studying for is useless. who gives a fuck about design? what's the point of making things look good if this world is rotting from the inside? the only way to function in this society is to be delusional. for fuck's sake my mom is slaving away at 2 jobs to pay for my antidepressants that don't even work. she's trying so hard for me and i'm failing her. i wish she never met my dad and lived a great life instead. she deserves much better than this
Anonymous 110244
>>110234Being disconnected from people is not the end of the world once you realize how much of its all performative shit for men who will actively look for ways to brutaly seriously fuck women and joke about it and fuck everything of yours up if you let them leech off of you for sex and their "special needs" you aren't missing much.
Anonymous 110249
i sent nudes to a dude i really like that i met months ago while he was in my city. he kept poking me chatting with me that i initiated it because i wanted him so bad. holy shit, im a retard because this man is so uninterested… man… i was infatuated with him sexually that i turned down two sexual advances from other men secretly hoping he comes back. the retarded cluster b mind is very dangerous, girlies! do not give in to it and stay away from emotionally attaching to men cause youre horny!
Anonymous 110254
i just want a guy smarter than me. anyone else feel the same way? like, if there was a dating app that made you put your professionally tested iq in your bio, i would use it. i feel like i have no idea what my "standards" are except that i want someone (who i know) brainmogs me and is kind.
plus, i feel like its fair and one of those ways guys can feel like they earned their dates or whatever.
(ps im not 200iq or anything but i feel like iq is one of the only metrics that is fair and makes sense in choosing a partner, which is the point im trying to make)
Anonymous 110255
>>110254>i want someone (who i know) brainmogs me and is kind.to add to this - would you guys think this is fair or would your ideal partner be someone of equal intellect?
Anonymous 110256
>>110255Equal intellect, plus most brainy people want someone to match them. If he does not care about being fulfilled that way there's a hood chance he's manipulating you and taking advantage. If you don't expect men to be like that already you're setting yourself up for misery.
Anonymous 110258
>>110256is it not normal for most women to prefer men who are
a little bit smarter than them? just within an elevated range, but not to the point of being unable to relate to each other. similar to height, even if a guy was taller than me i would expect him to use his height in a protective manner, likewise with intelligence.
is this really uncommon or bad in any way?
Anonymous 110264
>>110255No, I like dummies. It is my cross to bear in this life.
Anonymous 110270
>>110264i am honestly surprised that iq is not more weighted than other aspects to a potential partner's character. again, id prefer someone with an elevated range. are men not usually expected to be a little more intelligent due to their hormonal differences and whatnot? the same way i'd think women would naturally (due to biological differences in the womb) be more expressive of their emotions and feelings.
maybe this is regressive and ill realize it eventually. i would prefer a brainy partner however, even if their iq is equal to mine, i like nerds and STEM-oriented people.
Anonymous 110273
>>110270Well, I didn't say liking idiots is better or makes sense. It's just the reality I live.
It's likely because I tend to prefer taking a caretaking, responsible role in a relationship. I also like losers, to my detriment.
You're in a better place for being turned on by competence, I guarantee it.
Anonymous 110276
>>110274
i just want someone with enough intellect to assuage any anxiety that pops up when i think of the world.
Anonymous 110277
>>110258No that's infuriating. Being talked down to by someone you end up living longterm with gets old fast.
Anonymous 110278
>>110270God that is such horse shit. Men are propped up and celebrated for their intelligence and women are punished for it. Of course they are more likely to develop it but that is a load of tripe.
Anonymous 110281
>>110276>>110274>>110270Accept if they're really smart, you're more likely to end up with someone who expects you to default to their opinion a lot. Men will downright become entitled to this and when they have brain leverage they use it to domineer everything
They start philisophizing and moralizing you into a hole to get you to do everything they want. Intelligent people can be extremely manipulative I would know I am one. You sometimes dont even know it. Men take this quality and dial it up x10 you have to be careful.
People will just automitically take your word for it and defer to you when you speak if youre smart. Which is actually annoying because you want people to be natural. Men dont want women natural like we want men, they want someone to do everything they eant
I dont think unequal smarts + male is a good combination because they default to that controlling behavior so fast. But then I really don't want relationships for this reason. Controlling men turned me off to relationships for life.
Don't look for someone who is insanely smart look for someone who is virtuous and RELIABLE.
Anonymous 110285
I like yuri but I hardly bother trying to look for it anymore, I dont care if men like it but the "transbians" who are always shitting up the comments of art/fanfic make me cringe so hard. Literally a grown man with dick and balls saying he's a lesbian, its so embarassing
Anonymous 110289
I started contributing to openstreetmaps, because my rural area is so shafted that even google doesn’t bother mapping our shit out. I really want some cute maps here, so I joined the official discord to get tips. Within 5 minutes there’s a fucking troon.
What is it with open source projects that fucking attracts them so hard? Why can’t I just have any space without them? My god, they are so fucking annoying and blatant. I clocked him in seconds, based on his name, how much he whined about being LBGT, and how he talked about his girlfriend. So sickening. He has his YouTube channel in his profile, so I click it, and bam, troon voice. Falsetto frog voice. Hate him so fucking much. I wish this was over. I hate trannies so much it’s unreal.
He was talking about adding a tag where you can say if a place is lgbt friendly, and said he can’t kiss his girlfriend in Dubai. Um, sir, what is stopping you? What is stopping a male from kissing a female in fucking Dubai?
Anonymous 110290
>>110281well, men with lower iqs still mistreat women. aren't they more likely to mistreat women, if anything? an abusive male might take advantage of the fact that you're of lower intelligence by manipulating you into submitting, whereas a male of lower intelligence will use emotional manipulation or physical threat against you to get you to do what they want. this is observable in countries where the average iq is lower.
Anonymous 110291
99.9% of women are pickmes with no self respect and 99.9% of their sexual behavior is trashy and it makes me wanna kill myself. If hating women even tho they are the ones who degrade themselves is misogynistic just cause… You hate women, then I'm misogynistic. I can only heal when I'm mentally away from this low dick blowing rapechimp worshipping masochistic scum
Anonymous 110292
>>110291i dont think having a sex drive makes you a pick me. most of the internal conflict that comes from being a woman is wanting to procreate and not wanting to have to deal with men.
also, women getting angry at other women's sexual activity instead of the men who use female sexual activity to dehumanize other women is so dumb.
Anonymous 110294
>>110289>What is stopping a male from kissing a female in fucking Dubai?nona…. i dont think his girlfriend is a female..
Anonymous 110295
>>110294I sure hope she’s not, but you never know the depths that some of these handmaidens subject themselves to
Anonymous 110298
>>110292actually, i want to append to this that, yeah, to some degree women should have shame for degrading themselves openly. this is why privacy and valuing ones private life should be more valued in culture.
Anonymous 110301
anyone else annoyed by "crabs in a bucket" behavior? when people project negative assumptions onto you as to pigeonhole you into an inferior state.
Anonymous 110304
>>110292Having sex drive = wanting to suck dick, wanting to be desired by men, wanting to get penetrated lol
Anonymous 110305
>>110249Update: i ghost blocked him and i’m heartbroken… im in so much pain I never liked a guy that much before what was i thinking? Telling him i liked him and all that shit
Anonymous 110306
Can't even eat in peace with moids coming to sit close, I hate feeling hyper conscious of my body and everything I'm doing. Can't believe I ever thought it was attraction in my teens when my body was actually going rape-alert.
Anonymous 110310
>>110304Yall are so hetero it's unreal
Anonymous 110319
I wish I was dead.
Either I become extremely clingy, or I don't feel anything for the other person.
I hate this.
Anonymous 110322
A guy harassed me at the soup kitchen today. I had to go to the office and ask "what should I do if there's a guy who won't stop cornering me to beg for my number and insisting I get in his car with him as soon as I get my food for a thousand different sketchy reasons?"
I can't believe I have to say this, but I'm relieved that I was taken seriously. He was kicked off the church premises. Last time this happened was in a mental hospital where a guy was following me into my room to grope me and ask me to undress for him. The staff didn't believe me that time. I also wasn't believed at a shelter I was in previously because the guy in question was a favorite of the staff.
The thing that bothers me so much is I know why men fetishize me and it's a part of my body that has made me a subject of not only bullying and gossip but personal insecurity, chronic pain and difficulty finding clothes that fit. I can't get rid of it without surgery. Every time some sleazebag approaches me and treats me like a prostitute because I'm homeless and overly busty makes me want to die.
Anonymous 110326
>>110290Probably. So skip relationshit altogether imo.
Anonymous 110328
Dreamed I was drooling to suck my brother's dick that's so disgusting omg I hate thisss
Anonymous 110334
>>110331
That's 3.5 billion people you just stuffed into one box. Judge everyone as an individual, anon. This is the only way to make sense of people around you.
Anonymous 110335
>>110331
You ain't deceiving anyone, cocksucker-pig-kun, you're not a gender dysphoric woman, you're a loser man who is angry that women won't blow you
Anonymous 110345
Had a job interview today. I'm so socially awkward it hurts. I put off enough cringe to kill an antelope. The social anxiety makes me retarded and pretty much forget pretty much everything I know.
Anonymous 110362
>>110254Isn’t this a no brainer? Who would settle for a man who’s dumber than you? How would you even respect him?
Anonymous 110363
>>110281Intellectual posturing is a dead giveaway that the person is, in fact, not secure in their intelligence. Someone who is truly smart (and knows it and isn’t giddy to defend this quality and doesn’t constrain their whole being to being defined by that), is someone who can accept being wrong, and has made peace with their own fallibility.
Anonymous 110366
>>110362Do you think being smarter or dumber has anything to do with being dominant or submissive? If I want a submissive bf, he would have to be dumber, or at most equal intelligent. Although, since I'm really intelligent myself, that wouldn't mean he has to be an idiot.
Anonymous 110378
>>110363This is a really naive take.
That's not how it works when men are ruled by ego, intellect and entitlement to power. Society socialized them to lean this way because it is the more rewarding lifestyle choice. And yes they do align their entire beings; if they're for real they
become domineering workaholics and use their positions of power and intellectual authority to justify
everything they do. Okay sometiems they can also be quite lazy and prefer to do things the easy way. But i think the more aligned and intellectually rewarded they are the more they justify whatever they want, Including philosophizing women into moral holes for control.
What you're describing is a fantasy no offense.
Men are only like that when they feel they have to concede ground, when they don't realize how to manipulate power. Intelligent men are extremely good at manipulating anything for sex its just how they're socialized behave and its what rewards them quickest.
Anonymous 110383
I just wanna bang my head against the wall at how last month went and curl up in a ball until the circumstances improve
Anonymous 110391
it's never gonna get better isn't it
Anonymous 110394
Holy shit I saw her again during grocieries, and now I know for sure she's in the same city. Or maybe she's visiting her stable bf she's
doing fucking grocieries together ugh.
And I literally didn't change from 8? years ago. Same depressed ass with no brushed teeth and shitty hair plastered by a beanie, shamefully avoiding her like a plague. I think she didn't see, or even recognise me, or maybe she did because she went back looking for things before paying.
What a joke, I was imagining this day coming, with me being all charming and catching up with life but I'm still just contemplating suicide lmao.
Anonymous 110395
1605169090101.jpg
My parents keep putting me down or making fun of whatever I say, they are so cynical and it makes me not want to share anything with them. Whenever I tell them something, they also always share it with the rest of the family. I do not care anymore generally but it makes family gatherings super awkward cause I am just sitting there in complete silence cause I am too scared that if I say anything they will make fun of me and/or overshare (and they often do). I told them I hate it when they do this, they said theyd stop but didnt change at all. It makes me feel super autistic and very insecure about not being able to communicate properly even though I am not even shy or introverted.
Anonymous 110396
This bitch bullied all through grade and middle school and now is an small scale influencer in my city. I hate her so much because she had a big role in how I ended up being and although I'm much better mentally it's still a struggle to trust people entirely. I wish I had the guts to say something, to show her true colors, but I have no proof and she's the "engaged influencer with a kid doing fashion stuff" and I'm just a looser still at uni at 30
Anonymous 110398
>>110396did you start uni late or did you repeat years?
Anonymous 110399
>>110398i chose a shit degree when i was 18 and although i graduated i didn't get a job and ended up on retail until the pandemic. now i'm studying pharmacy. not better prospects but at least i managed to get out of the neet hole (for now)
Anonymous 110400
>>110396>>110399You're still giving yourself a 2nd chance to succeed! Its not easy putting yourself into university in general. Plus you're older so now you have a better understanding of what you want to do for the rest of your life. Give yourself some flowers for making it to where you're at right now!
Anonymous 110409
When I was 17 my mom forced me to go through a pregnancy I didn’t want. She was gonna kick me out if I didn’t have it. Well I gave it up for adoption but I ended up having a c-section and it was all very traumatic. I have this wonderful bf now and his sister just had a baby. He sent me pictures of him holding the baby. He looked so content and happy. You can just see it in his face he’d make a wonderful dad. I can’t do it. I can’t have kids. The thought of being pregnant makes me wanna tare my skin apart. I have nightmares about having a c-section.
Anonymous 110413
>>110409Speak to a therapist about it, have a sit down with your boyfriend and get a feel for what he expects out of this relationship. Teen pregnancies are generally traumatic but it may well be the case that this past trauma is preventing you from achieving a state of fulfilment in the future. Perhaps you've never been with a partner you considered having a child with, and you imagining your bf in a paternal role means your brain is sending you these signals that you want to become a mother, and trust me, these feelings will only intensify with age.
Up until my late 20's I was resolute in my decision not to procreate because I did not want to put my body through this arduous ordeal and I was angry at the world and society for defaulting me into a childbearing role. I am 31 and single now and I get this incredible FOMO when it comes to motherhood, I genuinely get angry when I see friends from work and university have children of their own. It's as though I still don't know if I want to become a mother, but the idea that time is running out and the chance to become a mother might soon elapse sends me into a fit of despair. Sigh. I wish I was a moid.
Anonymous 110418
MV5BOWMzNTg0NDktN2…
I feel so exploited and used like a toilet paper by my boss. All he does is attend meetings and dumps responsibilities that he gets in these meetings onto his subordinates, and I get a lot of bullshit documentation and typing shit dumped on me and he uses me like some personal secretary. I hate it but I am in no position to talk back because I just joined and lack any negotiable power to talk back. I even hate talking to him and I want nothing to do with him. He once even called me in afterhours and asks me information about landmarks and public transit routes and I thought it was very creepy.
The thing I hate the most is that he is one of those loud mouthed narcissists who thinks he's being a smart ass and makes some really sad and unfunny jokes and wants everyone around him to hear it and laugh with him. He's the kind of guy that I can imagine being in Japan where the employees have to stay late at work and take him to drink sake in a geisha parlor and kiss his ass all night till he decides to leave you to go home and think about karoshi.
I hate working under him and I wake up with a small panic attack every time in the morning thinking about the ways he might fuck me up and dump more of HIS responsibilities and refuse to let me work.
Yes, I know I'm struggling to say no but I have no negotiable power yet because I'm still shadowing and learning things.
Anonymous 110420
>>110418Do you grey rock him as much as possible during these interactions?
Anonymous 110423
Why can't I have a slender bishounen bf? It's literally the only thing I want.
Anonymous 110426
>>110413So I felt the same way growing up. I never wanted kids. I don’t know if I do or not still. When I had that thing in highschool. I had absolutely no care for it and I still don’t.
My bf is wonderful and kind. He gives me all the care and attention I need and I don’t know if I wanna give some if that attention up to a child. I don’t know if I want something that is so attached to me or makes me so attached to another person. I already go to therapy and it’s something I wanted to bring up next time I see her. He just looked so wonderful holding his sisters baby. He already knows how I feel about babies and childbirth and he says it’s okay. That it’s up to me and he is fine either way. I date me ex for 8 years, the one I had a baby with. He knew all of the same things and was fine with them. But as we got older he started throwing in my face how I didn’t want kids and that it wasn’t a real relationship cause I wasn’t willing to commit. I didn’t really wanna marry him either. (Step dad and mom got divorced it was bad) with my current bf it’s different. I’d marry him right now.
Anonymous 110427
>>110420Yeah, I'm trying to do that but I just wish I can say "no I don't want to do your work this because I'm doing something else." and ask him to fuck off. I don't want to talk to him at all but he's my boss so I'm forced to respond to him. I hate moids like him to the core.
It's really sad that I can't enjoy what I do and give my full contribution because I'm afraid of drawing more attention and become an easy target to dump more responsibilities.
Anonymous 110466
I wish there was a containment thread for bf whinging bc I seriously cba to care what some shitty moid did / is doing / will do. The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.
Anonymous 110479
Nothing feels worse than supposedly radfems being doormats, it makes me so upset till tearing up actually
Anonymous 110481
>>110479I can't stand submissive women. It seems to me that they're supporting moids and their evils by submitting to them.
Anonymous 110501
IMG_9723.jpeg
my wrists my wrists my fiery aching of my wrists! make it fucking stop!
Anonymous 110518
I have everyone online that criticize other people harshly. It's rude and shouldn't be done. You're a bad person. If you're on twitter you should have your internet taken from you.
Anonymous 110539
>>109995Why did I believe it why did I buy into it again. Why did he waste my time again and just shut down again. Why did I invest all my time and money again and do all the things he wanted just for apathy. For my cat to actually love him more than me and for me to have nothing left for myself while he sits there with the things I paid for and complains about how he has nothing when I finally reach my limit. I am furious
Anonymous 110582
Still stewing in the fact that my boss told me that other coworkers have complained about me not being dependable when I haven't even been working a full year yet. Calm the fuck down, for fuck's sakes. There's a reason 3 people have already quit since I started working and it's because this job fucking sucks for how little it pays, and people are horrible. I don't need stress over the absolutely menial shit they get anal about, while also having to make up for day shift's mistakes.
I'm thinking about making a counter-complaint to my boss because certain coworkers, who I think are the ones that complained, seem to seriously just have a negative attitude towards me in general and it's uncomfortable to work under them because they just seem already done with me the moment I step in the door, even though I haven't even done anything. I have been dealing with so much crap outside of work that it feels like I don't want to talk about myself personally or burden people, plus they just wouldn't understand what I am going through. They don't understand that I don't want to live here forever but my family is constantly stressing me out about staying here even though I hate it here, even though it's all that I have.
If you'll just be patient with me and understand that I am going through lots of hardships right now trying to figure my life out, I can do better. But I just don't want to be kicked while I'm down any more. Especially by women who definitely have it better than me and should fuck-off with their bitchy high-strung bullshit while I am struggling to figure out when to sleep.
Anonymous 110599
Bothers me slightly that i sting still at things i thought id moved past. That’s psyche for you, right? Mom makes a passing comment about how everything comes to me tardy. Dad venting and the gist of it is that his children are disappointing. Our unhappiness is disappointing to them. They had high standards and those kept being lowered and lowered and lowered and still we seem not to live up even to the shriveled up remnant expectation which is to simply be happy. I used to think it preposterous that some people took offense when their parents admitted to nlt being proud of them. I used to think it wasn’t a necessity. That these complainers were being excessively sensitive and emotional.
It doesn’t hurt, them not being proud. Them being disappointed. It’s not an outright offense. It’s like a needle chipping away at my hide. If i lean into it, it prompts a sharp piercing pain. Ultimately it hurts, because i don’t know how to be happy without them being happy. I’m so fucking lost. I don’t know how to just be. How did i turn into this wreck when they did their job right.
Anonymous 110607
>>110590
sureee. why would you feel the need to encrypt a drive with "adult 'yaoi.'"
Anonymous 110611
>>109995>life is shit>hate myself to the core>thoughts dark as midnight>thinking about doing something risky>get complimented and hugged>brain does a fucking 180>life's kinda nice if you're optimistic lol>I think I'll get pizza tonightwhy does this happen
Anonymous 110617
>>110290IQ isn't really a legitimate way or measuring intelligence.
Anonymous 110618
Women are smarter anyway. Men are mostly dumb Neanderthals.
Anonymous 110622
>treat people awfully
>they start to hate you and treat you badly in return
>isthistheconsequencesofmyactionsmeme.jpeg
start a bunch of wars, oh no, why do people hate me
enslave a bunch of innocent people, oh no why do people hate me
treat the opposite gender badly, reduce them to objects or pawns against others, oh no why do people hate me
it really is a disease of the mind. to just believe you can do whatever you want as long as it empowers you as an individual at the expense of others. when women are expected to be conscious of their behavior towards others and hold other women accountable to avoid unnecessary conflict, it's amazing men still do not get they have to start doing the same.
Anonymous 110634
Sometimes finding friends feels like an extended job hunt. Putting interests in, pretending you're interesting and so into things you do that don't involve actually interacting with the other person (I'm just going to ignore people who play the game of this, because I don't feel like lying or feeding their ego). Do I tick their boxes so I'm worthy of their time in the first place? The isolation is killing me. I feel like I'm trying to save my 20s after royally fucking my teens; friendship and relationships feel like the job loop where you're not experienced but you should be experienced or in a job to work a job. Hobbies feel like poured money, time and effort just to try find other people, not because I care about the hobby (at least for more than two weeks). People at work knew better than to be friends with others.
I know I'm not the most healthy or interesting person, but again it feels like that loop where you should be around other people to be good but not good enough for other people. I'm losing it and all I'd really like is just someone to have a late night fast food run, or morning coffee and we can show each other cool places and chill. And that's narrow, I don't know, the possibilities are endless with another person, we can do whatever we want. Humans aren't supposed to be this alone. I just needed to bag this out, I know the basic solutions (go out, keep going to the same place, be happy alone, talk to others), and that it takes more time, but I'm just feeling really sad, desperate, and alone at this moment, to the point I was drunkenly messaging random numbers hoping to get lucky last night. I want so badly to live, even if I make plans to die, I just want to live.
Anonymous 110635
>>110582Nona, working with those kinds of people are the worst and I'm sorry you're dealing with that alongside a lot of other things on your plate. Always finding a way to put down others under a false sense of pride and pack ideology. One of the things I regret is not having a talk with my boss about a coworker who acted like I ruined his day for existing when I have been nothing but friendly, just a little slow (the problem wasn't even being slow, a lot of it was just "this person is different to me", a lot of these people who get pissed off at others don't even have grounds to be angry based off their work performance, they're just pissed when forced to be around people who don't want to suck their dick and play their games, they'll find someone arsing around and it doesn't matter cause they click).
If you know your boss is reasonable and not favoring them, then I'd have a shot at counter complaining. I don't know what you're doing, but if it's along the lines of factory/warehouse, people are just catty, cruel and cutthroat for no good reason. When I was at my job with that guy, I just tried my best to detach and repeat in my head, "I don't care, retarded cunt," it was part of what got me through the day until I decided I'd never go back in. Hope you make it through, or find something that is just less stressful and not full of mini managers and cliques.
Anonymous 110639
>>110634Nona this post hits hard and I want to say something. But I don't have anything to say. I think that you're meant to find people for whom you need not pretend. But I don't think such facility is possible. I'd like to be effortless; with someone effortless. But I don't contribute enough to be that. Most people are uncomfortable with silence and scenery, they need overt stimulation. But I don't talk; dialogue is often superfluous. My ideal best friend would be able to sit beside me and enjoy the world in silence. But I don't know such another.
Anonymous 110652
I wish i were a man cause they don't have the romantic feelings which women have so they literally can just chill while women are getting tortured and spend their life projecting the feelings onto men which men dont have. Then we get disappointed. Men can just be detached emotionally while women to get detached must first accepted abandoned… Men don't even get abandoned or dont cry over being abandoned unless they can't get other women. They see romance as them getting a servant they are emotionally detached from besides seeing her as a mommy bandmaid they dont want to be nagged by, they want her to stay in her place. Everyone is an individual but that means women are only wanted on the individual male world as their feminine gender role.
Getting attached to men romantically means being burnt by the hell fire while men are just chilling…. I dont wanna care about this retarded romance shit that is just an endless schizo delusion or a trick to make me serve a moid
Anonymous 110670
>>110669
this kind of excuse is used by pedo scrotes to normalize sexualizing real children too, because a drawing of real life children is "just fiction". if you don't believe me look up sophie labelle, the mtf troon with a webcomic who got exposed for this exact thing. women who like shota or whatever are better at separating fiction from reality, but be aware of the kind of "people" you agree with when you argue in defense of this content.
Anonymous 110673
>>110670NAYRT. For me, it's the fantasy that there could ever be an attractive male that is innocent of mind and pure of heart that avoids porn and nsfl, whereas I am most of his firsts and the apple of his eye. A lot of the time that can only exist if they're also a shota, although sometimes fiction is based and writes adult pretty boys like that.
Lolipedos are exceptionally delusional because a lot of adult women choose to be sexually pure and/or are culturally expected to stay pure. Men scarcely choose purity and love to corrupt each other and ruin other's innocence. It's depressing and disturbing.
Anonymous 110688
>>110639>sit beside me and enjoy the world in silenceThat sounds perfect. There is so much value in talking, but also so much value in experiencing the world together, no words needed to be spoken. I wish it were more acceptable to just be, rather than sell words that describe you and be sold words and quizzed on things that don't matter when the sunset shines on us all regardless. To be comfortable with oneself is one thing, but to be comfortable with another person is something that sounds so far away.
I hope we both find the peace and exhilaration of just existing with someone else. To be honest, I have imaginary friends. Going to the beach is more appealing this way, because I can share the waves and sky with someone next to me.
Anonymous 110689
why do men genuinely just not fucking care if they hurt women? why? why the fuck do i have to share this world with a bunch of assholes who actively delight in terrorizing other people.
i can't fucking take it. i can't fucking take one more person gaslighting me into thinking most men genuinely aren't just fucking evil. women can be cruel, but men resorting to fucking killing and exploiting others for no fucking reason aside from their own stupid sexuality just fucking i cant take it anymore. i think i genuinely just hate most men, and i hate that i am a misandrist but my god there really is no fucking both sides argument. i have spent my whole life trying to avoid the feminazi label but i just fucking wish all men just died already, i cant take it anymore all they ever do is hurt other people and even the good ones bite their tongue when it comes to their own awful gender. men lack accountability for their own shitty gender and it makes me sick of all of them, i dont fucking care anymore
Anonymous 110709
Hit with the biggest wave of body dysmorphia today and I feel like the most repulsive human being on earth. Everyone will hate me because of it. No one hates me or acts like it, I just feel that way.
Being back on the dating market isn't helping. It doesn't matter that I've dated 3 people and have had people of both sexes show interest in me, I wish it did.
Anonymous 110720
Just saw today a gay man saying he'd be ashamed of presenting a girl to his parents because she is "too loud"
I lost all empathy I ever had for all type of moids.
Anonymous 110721
>>110673>sometimes fiction is based and writes adult pretty boys like thatI need these
Anonymous 110723
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2 spiders crawled on me at night yesterday and one tonight and now I'm paranoid more are gonna show up. They're daddy long legs but still wtf.
Anonymous 110727
im done.png
my job is killing me from the inside and I hate it.
i hate it, it's not even 3 months and I already hate it.
Anonymous 110728
>>110727shit nona hope you find a better job soon. unrelated but this picture is so silly to me. why does this bathroom not have any stalls?
Anonymous 110730
>>110728nta but it's a common thing in school bathrooms in my country. we have a bunch of shitters out in the open and one single VIP stall meant for teachers. there's always a huge line for the stall because obviously nobody wants to pee in front of everyone. it was used more as a vape/smoking area than a bathroom lol
that reminds me….. one time during art class some random teacher came to see our teacher exactly when she was scolding and kicking me out of class. i hid in the bathroom because i didn't want to be seen by anyone in the hallway. after a few minutes this other teachers walks into the bathroom and starts peeing right in front of me despite the stall being available. i was about to get out when she started talking to me. she told me to not be upset and that the art teacher is actually nice, just gets moody sometimes, all while still squatting over the toilet. the most awkward talk i've ever had to endure
Anonymous 110732
>>110727>>110728>>110730This is literally what my most fucked up nightmares look like.
>it was used more as a vape/smoking area than a bathroom lolMight as well be nice and place some actual chairs around, Jesus.
Anonymous 110734
>>110728>why does this bathroom not have any stalls?full metal jacket reference
Anonymous 110736
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Is there anything more pathetic than trying to make friends online? I'm in a position where I'm pretty much at home 24/7 without a whole lot of time to join clubs or do anything, and all my irl friends are busy with work and life in general, so we rarely see each other. But I do nothing but ghost online communities and when I do "make a friend" the other person either doesn't really engage or their needy assholes that want insane amounts of validation meanwhile they don't give a damn about you in return. It's exhausting making an effort to befriend people online that only seem to want to use you in some way. I'm just bored and lonely.
Anonymous 110743
>>110108I feel similar about my situation. I've just kept fucking up my entire adult life and now I'm 30 and I keep hoping for a 'silver bullet' to fix me. "If I just get into this programme", "If I just get a partner" and the most recent one; "If I only got a real job".
And I finally got my first no-bullshit real job. I was looking forward to getting a routine, not having to pinch every last penny, maybe even be able to improve myself and try for another career later and what's going on after 15 months? Fucking nothing.
I've been depressed since high school but this last year is the only one that has made me fear I'll kill myself in a weak moment. I had to go from 100% to 75% work because I was coming apart at the seams and working myself into ruin while everyone else at work always seems to find time to stand around looking at their fucking phones and small-talk. And because I'm so socially inept I barely know anyone and never get any social fulfillment.
So now I'm feeling worse than when I was neeting it up, my old porn addiction has come back and I eat lots of junk to get any fucking dopamine and not just lie curled up in bed when I'm not working.
I hope your situation gets better nona <3
Anonymous 110744
not strong enough to be a vent, more of a complaint.
but i really miss US wilderness culture. i lived in america only for a while but in retrospect there was an incredible amount of young people who enjoyed the outdoors , all sorts of events and organisations, here there is little wilderness and absolutely no young people who enjoy it. i dont know… i so wish that i had taken advantage of this more. i know it seems like a small thing, but im lonely. i feel like i am american in spirit
Anonymous 110745
>>110691
i genuinely just feel fucking sick of everything right now. why does it feel like men are just so undeveloped when it comes to their empathy or understanding how their behavior affects others? even at my school they make loud noises for quite literally no reason, yawn loudly or scoff at the teachers, say gross things about women to other men…. they are like NPCs except they'll actually fucking kill you if they're not raised well enough. men caring more about being part of some dumb herd instead of gaining self awareness and calling out other men for bad behavior is part of the problem. just look at how female oriented communities start to get shit when men enter it, its always obvious when some moid POS is posting instead of an actual woman. they have no self awareness and the ones that do never speak up against other awful men.
Anonymous 110746
>>110745>men caring more about being part of some dumb herd instead of gaining self awareness and calling out other men for bad behavior is part of the problem.also, it's amazing how men don't realize thats why women aren't fucking attracted to them. why on earth would i give a shit about some dumb moid who cares more about being an abusive asshole so long as he can feel validated by others instead of someone that actually gives a shit about their own personal values and, i don't know, having a sense of individuality and goodness? especially the kind that doesn't enable shitty, mean men who run the world in droves just fucking lol.
Anonymous 110748
why does no one ever talk about healthy parenting styles?
Anonymous 110749
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>>110748also, a very very interesting article from carnegie mellon.
Anonymous 110753
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I am deeply concerned about the future, things like ai and tiktok scare me, i hope something kills me before the eventual future, especially online where everything will be a clusterfuck of ads, bots and kids with fried attention span that grew up and ended up groomed by 30 different people on discord and put into hrt because being trans and mutilating your body is totally okay and valid
Anonymous 110763
>>110746Men have no brains, it's impossible for them to actually acknowledge stuff
Anonymous 110781
A friend of a friend in a group chat is a trans man, a female to moid, and I just had the absolutely stupidest conversation with her. I seriously cannot stand her. She lives in the safest city in the safest country in the world. And she thinks that somebody is going to jump out of the shadows and sex traffic her. This is so delusional. She is a 29-year-old woman on testosterone, she has a pube beard, she is 300 lb and 5 ft tall. There is absolutely zero chance that she is going to be trafficked. Like it is literally not going to happen. And she also uses this as a launching pad to talk about male victims? Oh my God you're not a fucking male victim. You're not even a male. Like you just some idiot who has been on the internet too long. why the hell should I care about male victims. Why don't males care about male victims? Oh wait. They are making them. Whoopsies.
She is talking about getting a concealed carry. So that she can like Quick Draw McGraw shooty shoot a sex trafficker. Like oh my god. It is not going to happen. She should not have a gun. She jumps at everything. Female to male? No it's female to Violent offender. I guess that is kind of more accurate anyway. She got really mad at me because I said it was delusional that she is actually worried that she is going to get fucking sex trafficked. And now every retard in the group is upset with me for being realistic? For not buying into the idea that sex traffickers are hiding in every single hedgerow? I am not going to live a life of fear. I am not going to listen to the whinging of a silly little twat who thinks that she is a man. I hate these stupid little soft boy type Tumblr trans mans. I seriously cannot stand them. They are the weakest people on the planet. I don't even know how they're even alive at this point. Every single thing scares them
Anonymous 110782
>>110753Reading about how literally everything in the world is designed by men and that's hurting women, I just can't imagine how they're (involuntarily I guess) programming ai robots and how will that effect us
Anonymous 110783
>>110688Sometimes I go to the beach and stare out at the ocean, it reminds me I'm floating in space. It's so chaotic and extraterrestrial at times, I can easily imagine that, sitting on the shore, I'm on the cusp of another planet. I feel very alone when I look out at the sea sometimes, so I imagine on the other side of the Pacific is another alien watching the chaos with me. I no longer have to imagine it; I know you're there now. We might not be side-by-side, but it's no big deal because we'd both be silent regardless.
Anonymous 110786
>>110782for once, i'd love men to acknowledge that something is shitty and the system is wrong instead of just rationalizing horrific trends in the world. the amount of men who are just braindead npcs that intellectualize whatever stupid, toxic shit their bro friends espouse, its mind numbingly frustrating. they will inevitably blame women for how awful modern society is instead of developing any sense of emotional self awareness and actually contributing to the world in a way that doesnt make everyone, including themselves, feel like shit.
Anonymous 110787
>>110786also - fuck it - i despise the women who grovel for the least bit of male attention no matter how degenerate. they're just as bad as the shitty men themselves.
Anonymous 110792
>>110786>for once, i'd love men to acknowledge that something is shitty and the system is wrong instead of just rationalizing horrific trends in the worldImpossible nona.
Anonymous 110794
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There is a nice moment when you remember what really matters.
Anonymous 110798
>>110794Why do i feel a tradthot made this pic
Anonymous 110802
congratulations pickme
you've suppressed your own natural responses of indignation in response to being mistreated for male attention. way to go.
Anonymous 110806
>>110798Bc you have internet aquired encephalopathy and there is no hope for you.
Anonymous 110809
>>110798i like all those things and i dont have a job and leech off my parents, am i trad now?
Anonymous 110811
7bc7f65f085e0e7f6a…
I've been on this retarded diet for almost 2 weeks now, fasting for 3/4 days a week and when I'm not fasting I'm trying to keep my cal intake around 600ish and not consuming sugar whatsoever, aswell cutting on carbs as much as possible, also switched out from pan frying to oven baking.
it blows so fucking hard honestly and I can't wait to see the results and get this over with, doing this mainly to be more attractive for my boyfriend and obviously to get rid of a years long body dysmorphia.
fasting has gotten much easier the past week and I don't struggle with it as much as I used to but it makes me unable to work/study which really messes with me.
I love food and it makes me so happy, that's why I've always struggled to be in shape and just kinda cutting all of it seriously sucks but it'll be a good thing long term I guess, only a few months of this left.. I'm just scared of developing an ED because slowly I've just noticed myself get disgusted by the idea of eating something that has been deepfryed or something with more than 3 tablespoons of sugar and I don't think that's very normal honestly,
this whole thing is making me so tired sometimes but I'll adapt
Anonymous 110812
>>110811How much have you lost so far? Ive been doing 800 cal a day and the weight loss has been super slow and I just want to get it over with so your diet sounds appealing.
Anonymous 110817
>>109995I’m so alone
all I wanted was to feel comforted by you and wanted and i don’t anymore. I drive everyone away and I am unloveable. I wish I had 1 friend to talk to and check up on me but I don’t even have that. My life is a void
Anonymous 110821
>>110812well I can't say much, my scale broke a long time ago so I just do this diet until I can see that I've lost around 20kg… (currently around 80kg, my goal is 60kg) I don't really see any results so far but I guess that's only because I've been dieting for barely 2 weeks :<, you should give this a try, I'm not exercising so losing weight is slower you'll see faster results if you do cardio like three times a week I just can't be bothered atm.
you should give this diet a try I think, it's a bit difficult at the start but it gets easier.. I think it's harder for me because I've been binge eating for so long it's really difficult to quit. if you do this method correctly you should lose up to 5kg a month if I'm not wrong, the main thing is just cutting on sugars and empty carbs !,
just don't starve yourself because if you do you'll only gain weight, something about your body thinking that it's going to starve to death I forgot the reasoning.. I try my best to only eat when I'm hungry but getting rid of habits is difficult.. regardless, give this a shot just don't expect immediate results, I reminds myself aswell that things like this take time and especially without a scale it's hard to detect any changes but every day is at least a bit of progress ^_^
Anonymous 110825
>>110821>>110812What is the point you will just gain it back lol
I find over eating vile but eating 600 calories a day? I mean your body will gain it all right back because it would feel starved after a diet like this. You realize this right? Is your moid even fucking attractive? He better be fine as hell.
Anonymous 110832
>>110825I don't think u get it.. I fast one day which means 0 calories, the day after I eat around 600 to 800, its better than consuming 600 to 800 cals every day.. I don't feel starved because I've learned how to make filling meals with low calories, and I'll probably start doing more sports around summer (swimming season!) which will let me stay in shape after this diet. I have this planned out and it makes sense to me :)
and yes my boyfriend is really attractive and he's the best boyfriend ever, I wouldn't do something like that if it wasn't worth it
Anonymous 110833
>>110786>for once, i'd love men to acknowledge that something is shitty and the system is wrong instead of just rationalizing horrific trends in the world.True, just once I'd like a male equivalent of Carla Marx, Gay Debord, Alexa Carey, or Nina Chomsky to come along and point out how the capitalists have manipulated and/or subjugated the masses into unquestioning obedience.
The truth is that most men and women alike tend to rationalise horrific trends; often this is because they:
a) have a monetary stake in them; or
b) have an ideological stake in them, which can be as simple as having an identity (i.e. any identity) that is (speciously) affirmed by the consumption of particular trinkets (trinkets which are only possible under the current order of things) Anonymous 110868
>>110821Thanks sister, I'll give this a try some more cardio and really load up on protein with filling meals too. Good luck to you as well!
Anonymous 110919
I was reading this josei manga and it made me depressed because I've never had and likely will never have a romance like the one in the manga. I'm too depressed to finish reading it.
Anonymous 110921
>>110919Everyone wants a fantasy, no one wants to be the fantasy.
Anonymous 110943
>>109995just for shits and giggles i posted on /soc/ looking for a "date" and the only emails i got were from chronically online /soc/ regulars (coomers who claim to work in cybersecurity) and a russian glowie. it's bleak out there, but when has it not been?
dw nonas i used a throwaway email and don't have discord Anonymous 110944
>>110781human trafficking is far more common than you'd expect, and sex traffickers have prostituted shaved orangutans. so maybe your friend is not unreasonable in her fear, just taking it a bit too far. traffickers tend to target the vulnerable with few friends and no support from family. they offer the love that victims feel they have never received.
Anonymous 110945
>>110781Someone tried to abduct my 300 lb sister so I don't think it's a huge stretch. You're ignoring the reality that men just love abusing women, no matter how ugly they are.
Anonymous 110946
I miss telling males on omegle to kill themselves.
Anonymous 110971
>>110946You can still do that on 4chan
Anonymous 110986
I hate my stupit anxious attachment reflexes. Hate myself for it. The pain of hating myself for it hurts more than the attachment itself at times.
Anonymous 110987
does anyone else think there needs to be more female leadership? sure, women are outperforming men in education, but where are the female CEOs and politicians that actually stand up for traditionally "female" values, while also doing the same level of civilization building as men? obviously whether or not a politician is female is the most important thing, but female leadership is still underexplored is it not? part of me wonders whether the whole simping and orbiter culture is just an inhibited reaction to that sentiment
Anonymous 110988
>>110987male "leadership" has failed. in so many aspects. countries run by men become modernly violent cesspits still held down by men enabling other dregs of society. male leaders fail to value emotional and mental health, and fail to value the economic rights of workers. men do not have enough empathy in comparison to a hypothetical female leader. naturally, there is not enough competition for female leaders, and the ones that do pander endlessly to men or resort to simp farming, but really, its only that the idea hasnt developed enough. not every woman would be a great leader, but for someone who's a woman who actually has the skills of leadership and represents female values would be refreshing in comparison to the violent warmongering men who call themselves such.
Anonymous 110991
i hate men
i hate men men have failed me i dont even care at this point
men constantly just behave without regarding others feelings and it really is just as simple as that. i dont care anymore i keep expecting them to be able to understand empathy and knowing how to act in accordance to how it makes you feel but they just fail i just cant do it anymore i actually feel a burning hatred for men. they dont understand the inherent importance of consent and being told no they are fucking traumatizing i am sick of constantly having to adhere to their sick beliefs and cater to them. i hate them. i hate men i dont even care anymore
Anonymous 110995
had an interesting very drunk conversation with a moid friend today. he basically told me he loved me lolll although i know hes still pining over his ex. we're very close and i like him a lot but he's a troubled person and he doesn't have very strong morals. i've always secretly felt that we'd end up together. i dunno. i hope we stay in each other's lives. i[m going to be so hungover.
Anonymous 110999
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My (female) crush invited me to her room today and we made out which was super hot but we didn't go any further because I gave hints of stopping. I'm still unsure if I like women sexually, and I'm being super anxious about not being able to perform with her because I know I'm going to hurt her if that happens. I really cherish her, and she actually makes me horny, but I've read about women going through a similar experience only to realize that they don't actually like women sexually. So my brain is just mush right now and I'm dying of anxiety, with no one to talk about this. I wish I could've figured this out before I went this far with her. I don't want to hurt her. I'm trash.
Anonymous 111018
>>110999Honestly it sounds to me like you're self sabotaging because of low self esteem. You said you cherish her and are attracted to her, isn't that enough for now? There's no relationship in this world where it's 100% that no one is going to get hurt. If it doesn't work out, just apologize. It's going to be okay.
Anonymous 111021
Screenshot 2024-02…
if anyone cares to give their thoughts on this i want to give as much context as possible that's simple to understand lol.
im 22 bf is 22. we will have been dating for two years in july.
person 1 i'll refer to as niko
person 2 i'll refer to as jules
person 3 i'll refer to as dima
i dated niko roughly 3 years ago for 2 years total.
he introduced me to jules who i became good friends with.
jules ended up meeting dima who is… ..i will just say it straight up, a notorious slut & liar..
i met her long before jules met her. i wasn't her friend, just someone i happened to talk to in line for a concert & exchange socials with.
she would post a lot of lewd photos online and seemed to be in a new relationship every other month.
when jules told me he met her and was fond of her, i warned him that she's promiscuous.
months go by and jules and dima begin dating. note: i was still w niko at this time. i didn't protest further because hey, if it's working out nicely good for them. i was happy jules found someone.
but she reads through our dm's (idk what caused this, we never ever flirted) and finds the message i first sent him about her. she makes him block me, and just like that.. i dont speak to jules for the next 3 and a half years?
then a few months ago, he follows me and we get to talking, they had just broken up.
i thought it was a little strange that he immediately kind of reached out after the break up because i just figured he had forgotten about me in a way. i was esp put off because my ex, niko, who he is still semi-friends with (niko kind of went off the deep end and all his friends distanced themselves from him lol) had spread some pretty nasty rumors ab me after the break up.
but i was happy to hear from jules again! esp because i really do not have any irl friends. i would like to say i was right about dima though, she did end up cheating on him multiple times and canceled him on her instagram story for pushing her in a fight and taking back the items he gifted her over the course of the relationship lolol.
anyyyway. while it's nice to have an old friend back, i'm currently in a serious relationship. i want to note i have cheated on my boyfriend with niko about a year ago… i know.. i've truly dedicated myself to proving my loyalty since this and i regret it so so deeply. it was a mistake and niko had a lot of emotional control over me i cannot explain it. it wasn't okay regardless of that though.
Anyway, of course my boyfriend feels uncomfortable by my friendship w jules, i don't blame him since jules and i met through niko and jules ex, dima, made jules block me while they were together.
context is important here.
now i feel like i need make a decision to either cut jules off, or continue to have my bf anxious about our friendship.
im not hiding any information about jules and i's dynamic and he nor i have ever made any moves on one another , ever.
its frustrating because like i said i dont have any irl friends, and also it feels circular when i thihk about how jules ex made HIM cut ME off.
however my boyfriend is not making me cut jules off.
my bf told me he doesn't want to dictate who i can and cannot be friends with and if i make that decision he wants it to be on my own.
how the fuck
i mean, okay. obviously i want my boyfriend to feel secure. fuck. i dont know. i should just cut him off. it sucks but, ultimately i wanna marry my bf lololol so, i guess i will cut him off.
does anyone think this is the right choice.?
Anonymous 111024
>>111021your old online friend group sounds like a bunch of dramawhores. you don't owe them anything.
Anonymous 111025
IMG_0724.jpeg
>jobless
>had mental breakdown that ruined life and also lost pretty much all irl friends
>afraid to reach back out to irl friends because I ghosted them when mentally unhinging and why'd they wanna talk to me
>dealing with mental health medication roulette for the past 3 months
>each medication worst reacting than the last
>fell allergic to lamotrigane after I was doing well on it for almost 2 months
>went to the ER twice bc of lamotrigane and then a medical grade panic attack from the withdrawal and a trigger
>lower grade antipsychotics gave me horrific akathisia and dyskenisia for a month
>barely slept for weeks
>having to start new medication
>please let this one work
>thus far it's just giving me tiredness and increased allergies
>doctor so concerned about me she's prescribed me clonazapam for panic episodes in case the meds fail
>why'd aps and a mood stabilizer ruining my mental health with side effects you're supposed to be helping me you retard pills
>and the worst part is lamotrigane worked before I went off meds for 2 years after I initially lost my insurance
>it used to work!!! then it almost killed me
>nuhhhh savings
>now has 1000s in emergency room bills
>relying on my father like I'm 17 again until I'm stable enough
>life is so boring and I'm trying to make it better by doing art and reading and trying not to doomscroll
>but on days like today I just doomscroll
>fuck me sideways yall this is not how I wanted to end up living
should I just apply to some low wage jobs to get my shit together? I might actually make a friend there. I'm considering a low wage job with healthcare like Starbucks or something because I will continue to need insurance to pay for my new med if it works
Anonymous 111028
>>111027politely distance yourself, you don't owe em anything.
Anonymous 111038
>>111025This literally happened to me almost one for one .-.
Anonymous 111057
Getting called maniac for defending a girl getting shit on because I like her, yet they spend all of their time online watching a show they claim to hate cherry picking the shit out of everyone yet im the maniac lmao
Anonymous 111063
I don't think I have 100% moved on from my last relationship. I had my friend read his birth chart and she said that he is a potential wife beater. That still doesn't change the fact that I'm still missing him. So pathetic. Or maybe, this is just PMS.
Anonymous 111182
A troon who follows me online came into my workplace and is being creepy
> at wageslave job, see tall moid with dyed hair walk past a few times
> eventually comes over and orders something
> "random question but do you cosplay"
> yes
> "omg i follow you on tik tok!"
> :D omg thats so crazy lol
> "and i saw you at a con last year you were dressed as <char> and i was also <char>"
> literally laugh because I thought it would be a meme cosplay as hes a 6' something scrote
> also literally do not remember this encounter at all. he said we spoke but I swear idk this man
> get home from work
> two new followers on my personal instagram acc, not linked to my cosplay acc at all
> its the guy
> creeped out as fuck, its not normal to go to someones workplace then find their PERSONAL account and follow it ON TWO ACCOUNTS
> one acc is his 'personal'
> personal acc has him posting a different character i have also cosplayed, on the exact same day i cosplayed her followed by 2 slides of women cosplaying the char
> caption;; me vs who i want to be
> is he going to wear my skin as a suit?
> the other is AGP meme page (w/ his face); memes about maid dresses, goth mommy <char i cosplayed>, pegging
> recognise the acc as having messaged me on my cosplay page b4
> mfw i ignored the messages and he still came up to me at work
> when he first messaged me and I looked at his page he was identifying me as a femboy
> follow him back on both pages because im retarded and didn't just ignore
> a few days go by, he messages me at 5AM; omg hiiiiiiii
> dont answer because its 5 fucking AM
> few hours
> i dont know if you remember but im the girl who recognised you at <workplace>
> yes i fucking remember
> say hehe its okay hi
> friendly convo about con coming up (i dont want my skinless body found outside my workplace)
> eventually ignore messages because i dont want to talk to him
> keeps on messaging me
> leave on delivered
> he likes one of my messages, so i open dm to see if he sent anything else weird
> leave question on read
> messages me AGAIN some shit about slayyyyy that would be so slayyyyyyy
> is this cunt retarded i never said anything he should respond to w that
> doesnt message me for a few days
> new follower on cosplay acc
> its ANOTHER ACCOUNT OF HIS
> mfw woman ignores me so i message her multiple times and she ignores me more so i follow her on another account, in case following her 4 fucking times wasnt enough
im scared posting this because its a pretty easily identifiable story and rlly dont want to be farking gutted and this troon knows my workplace and con im going to now
am i being dramatic?:D
Anonymous 111184
im on my period and feeling a wave of depression. swear to god i have pmdd or something. i feel so fucking insecure and touchy and men are just more on my nerves more than usual even though theyre not even being that bad. i seriously hate racial fetishization, i want to fucking stab a hoe
Anonymous 111185
>>111182messaging you at 5 AM is unforgiveable in general
Anonymous 111190
Been thinking about my ex bf again. He was my first (ew) love & relationship so maybe that's why I'm so attached. Had my friend read his birth chart last week and she said he's a potential wife beater and I dodged a bullet. Still kinda miss him cause I'm a simp
Anonymous 111195
>>111182Making multiple accounts is typical male behaviour, I would say to outright tell him his behaviour makes you scared for your life then just stop replying. I think being even more batshit insane as a victim without offending them makes them realise their creepy behaviour, if you don't let them have anything to latch on they can't be angry or they're proving you right.
Anonymous 111202
1595478787772.gif
i wanna eat veggies so bad
why is the grocery store/green grocery store so fucking far away
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Anonymous 111229
20231120_225628.pn…
I'm hungry and there's a really annoying person downstairs
Just leaveeeeeeeee
Anonymous 111235
I need to my driver's license
I want to stop being afraid of aggressive drivers
I want to drive to the ocean and drive by myselfwithout being a nervous wreck fuckk
Anonymous 111236
>>111190Good for you nonya, I wish I had a friend that could read my birth chart and make assumptions about me. That sounds like fun.
Anonymous 111237
>Had a 42 year old moid confessed his "love" for me (im 26)
>told him it's weird and things are awkward
>he sent me some hateful messages about how he deserved to be treated better
Anonymous 111238
>>111237I wanna know how it got awkward
Anonymous 111240
>>111237Tell him he deserves a 42 yo woman who will treat him right.
Anonymous 111242
>>111235Wishing you the best of luck to get your license
Anonymous 111252
BF's friend called me unattractive in their Discord server and said he wanted to roast my appearance despite him being literally short, mad, and balding. I don't even talk to him.
Shit fucked me up and is making me consider getting plastic surgery again.
Anonymous 111255
>>111241No thanks, he's an alcoholic and his meat probably reeks
Anonymous 111256
>>111237Fucking disgusting entitled piece of shit uggggggghhhhh
Anonymous 111257
>>111252>making me consider getting plastic surgery again.No, don't let them win. Better question is why your BF is friends with an angry bitter jealous moid.
Anonymous 111258
>>111252>Caring this much about what a man saysDon't do this
Anonymous 111262
Found out I'm autistic at 21 and honestly, although it doesn't change the way I am (I've came up with ways to deal with myself), it is a bit too much overwhelming news to me. Can't help my mind but to think things would've been easier if I found it out earlier in life.
Anonymous 111263
Sometimes it feels like I'm trying my best to make it in life and everything gets in the way
Anonymous 111271
I hate my family. Maybe there was a time I loved them but I just want to go far away and lose my number so they can't find me again.
Anonymous 111276
Young people (especially the guys) in the 90s were so hot what the fuck happened
Anonymous 111282
Pretty sure my relationship is over now. What a shame, I really loved him. But seems like romance, reassurance, loyalty, gifts and appreciation is only reserved for women that are top 90 percentile in terms of looks. If you're less they are just looking to make you a low maintenance cum bucket. I'm so done with love and dating after this. Better be alone than in bad company.
Anonymous 111285
Ughhh I just added someone off of 4chan yesterday and I already hate myself for it. He seems fine, but he probably won't be what I'm looking for. I'm just waiting for him to say something racist/sexist or to ask me to send pictures of myself and then get pissy when I say no. I admit that it's usually more interesting talking to internet guys than guys on dating apps or whatever, but I still end up disappointed. I'm looking for someone who doesn't exist and I'm inevitably going to end up disappointed and depressed again.
Anonymous 111286
>>111285I feel you, and I agree with internet guys being more fun to talk to than dating apps guys. But were you actually looking for someone to date on 4chan? Or was it just for trolling/have someone to talk to? But pshh who I am to talk, I once dated some moid from omegle
Anonymous 111287
>>111286No, you're correct. I wasn't on 4chan looking for someone to date. Actually, it had been the first time in months I browsed there, but I was bored last night and someone asked for my contact. It is nice to have someone to talk to and I think my brain will start to project my hopes of meeting my dream guy onto him until he inevitably does something to disappoint me kek.
Anonymous 111288
>>111276>junk food>air pollution>water pollution>increased parasites in animal products, 70 fold for fish in the past 50 years>school and work based around sitting all day>internet causes people to spend free time looking at screens, ruining their posture and vision>men develop porn addiction >people spend less time in the sun>microplastics cross the blood-brain barrier and into fetuses>new infectious diseases every year>estrogen in the water supply>pesticides in produce>demands of modern life lead to chronic stress and depression>world getting closer to hell every day Anonymous 111290
wasted all day on my phone I feel like throwing up
Anonymous 111301
S__25288715.jpg
Trying my best to not let this happen to me
Anonymous 111302
1539637967557.jpg
I'm extremly clingy and when I like someone I want to get so close to them that it usually pushes the other person away. I wish I could find someone that could love as intensly as I do
Anonymous 111304
cc.jpg
i'm not sure which is worse
- working as a cashier at a pharmacy/convenience store and dealing with crack heads & the elderly neither of which know how to communicate or used a card reader, hating myself and how i interact w others, having to be of service
or
- wasting away, not leaving the bed besides to pee, scrolling for hours on end until the sun goes down, broke, feeling useless
Anonymous 111305
>>111304Obviously the second one is worse, meanwhile if you get a job, at least youʼll have money.
Anonymous 111309
1621969419628.jpeg
i really hate college. idk if it’s the adhd or laziness or what but i just… can’t keep this up anymore. i cant keep doing homework and studying. i feel nothing or i cry all the time. i couldn’t even relax over break because i had work to do, and i didn’t even do the work. i almost failed a midterm even though i spent a week studying (and studying smart, too! i put a lot of effort in to make sure i was really learning the info; i ended up losing almost 30 points just from misreading questions or from trick questions/hyper specific questions the teacher had put in it while my friends who crammed made As). Now that midterm is over i have absolutely no will. i have a quiz in the same class wednesday and a presentation tomorrow. i just barely care anymore. any time i try to think, my mind runs into a wall. i’m irritable and exhausted.
how do i fix this? im making new friends, reading a good book, drawing, and letting myself cry. i have a gf who loves me and a nice roommate. everything should be ok but i just can barely move. i am medicated for my adhd too. i don’t know what to do anymore. this happens around this time every year but i genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. the only thing that seems to help is self harm, but i’m almost a year clean (and it’s cringe). what do i do s?!
Anonymous 111312
>>111309why not just…….cheat….for once.
Anonymous 111314
i genuinely just hate men
another man hatin thread
why are men so damn annoying? if i come across a man and have a conversation with them, im bound to come across them sharing a belief that is overtly egoistic, selfish, and nonfactual.
Anonymous 111315
I think I'm failing another job interview. I want to have my own business but it's like the universe doesn't want me to do it - shit out of luck.
Anonymous 111316
I love my girlfriend so much. She told me that she'd like to get married to me the other day. She said she'd never thought that she'd get married to someone before until she fell deeply in love with me.
We agreed to seriously start considering marriage in 4~5 years and I cannot wait for that to happen.
I never thought I'd ever get married either and now I'm looking up engaged rings for the future.
AAAAAAAH I'm just so so so happy.
Anonymous 111319
I really should be taking my meds but rn I just wanna b drunk XD
Anonymous 111324
>>111313lololol but really. i cheat in school and i know it’s not a good thing ofc but i don’t understand how ppl don’t fall into the habit of it.
is it the Thirst for Knowledge?
is it Pride
is it Self control
is it All of the Above
Anonymous 111325
why do women subconsciously want the approval of shitty men
Anonymous 111328
>>111324fear for me. i couldn’t handle being caught to be honest. i want to believe it’s some self control or pride in my work or gay bullshit but i doubt it. how/why do you cheat, if i may ask?
Anonymous 111331
>>111328welllll i just copy & the question from the quiz & paste it into google. it’s 95% of the time on quizlet lol. i assume the professor’s aren’t even trying to come up w something challenging or catered exactly to their notes, rather getting templates for the quizzes online… and as for why, i’m lazy.
i want to learn more ab the topics, but at this point it’s just too fckn easy to cheat and habitual. i just cheat on quizzes
Anonymous 111333
why do men weaponize femininity
maybe women wouldnt be afraid to act femininely if men didnt take it upon themselves to punish women who arent feminine "enough" using women who do behave like that
Anonymous 111335
>>111025I would suggest doing something part time just so you dont get overwhelm with everything going on in your life. Thats what im trying to do rn
Anonymous 111337
>>111331for quizzes? that is barely cheating and i'm sure you're not the only student who has done this. as long as you're not plagiarizing or outright cheating on in-class exams, you're fine nona.
Anonymous 111341
>>111331my quizzes and tests are in person and monitored sadly. my teacher is very old school.
Anonymous 111342
>>111341ah yeah that makes a big difference. when my past prof. monitored my quizzes/exams i would borrow my boyfriends laptop and sneaky max. i'd look up the answers on his laptop LOLL.
>>111337oke but it's different when the only assignments are quizzes and exams lol… i also cheat on the exams..
Anonymous 111343
i wish i could tell my sister (who is married with a 12 year old BTW) to stop putting her energy into gross 30 something dudes from BARS. BITCH PLEASE FOCUS ON UR FUCKING SON? THESE MENS FEELINGS MEAN NOTHING. OH MY GOD U FEEL SYMPATHY FOR THEM? YOU FEEL LOVE FOR THEM? YOU LOVE THE WAY THEY FUCK YOU? WHAT ABOUT UR SON, UR HUSBAND. u dont even love your husband anymore. i dont know what is worse, leaving or staying at this point. your son deserves better. AHHHHHH I WISH I COULD ADOPT MY NEPHEW I WOULD DO A BETTER JOB AS A MOTHER THAN HER FUCK HOW AM I SUPPOSED to carry on and act like i love my sister when she is an awful FUCKING PERSON FUCJOIWEFKJHEGFH
Anonymous 111345
men are fucking bastards
Anonymous 111359
I boiled rice with tap water
it tastes AWFUL
Anonymous 111362
I don't think my relationship with this moid isn't going to work. Ok then, back to my parasocial relationship w/ reviewbrah
Anonymous 111363
>>111362Kek . I hope reviewbrah doesn’t let
you down like that other moid did.
Anonymous 111364
>>111363oh I know he won't nona
fuck my typing was retarded (incorrect grammar kek) but you got my point
Anonymous 111370
Whenever I try to put myself out there to talk to men, I find myself getting so frustrated. It's like whenever I talk to normie men, I can't connect with them because there's some kind of gap, but when I talk to men online there's still a gap because now I'm the one who is too normie for them. Then on top of that, I feel like there's this expectation for me to be very affectionate and friendly very quickly or else they assume I'm not interested and they pull back. But how am I supposed to be affectionate and flirty with someone when I still don't really know them? I don't think I could feel comfortable doing those things with someone unless I loved them, but how can I tell if I love someone within a few weeks (or even months) of knowing them? I can't! And no one is going to wait around long enough for me to make up my mind. I just don't understand how dating and finding someone to love even works. I'll be fine without a relationship, but is it supposed to be this difficult? If I knew that there's something I could be doing better, then I'd work on it because I'm sure I'm not a perfect person and probably have some flaws in my attachment style. But it's so hard to tell if it's me or if it's the people I'm talking to or the external situation that's making this so difficult for me.
Anonymous 111371
>>111370Samefag to add that I'm not even looking for some kind of perfect romance or someone who gives me butterflies or takes care of me in any type of way. Just someone who I feel comfortable talking to and enjoy their company. That's all I want! This is why I wonder if there's something wrong with me. It's even hard for me to find female friends who I genuinely enjoy talking to so to find a man like that seems impossible at this point.
Anonymous 111372
Got fired from the job
My Disk got corrupted
Windows won't boot…
I….. I'm tired boss…
Anonymous 111377
1707872729779864.g…
My fucking CV in DOCX format disappeared again, I gotta redoit all over again. Pdf just won't fucking work converting it to docx, I was sure I uploaded it to my drive, why in the name of FUCK is the version there from mid last year.
I wanna cut my womb off
Anonymous 111386
I have bpd and right now I wanna chew my boyfriend’s face off. He’s too nice and it’s driving me crazy. I told him I feel bleh and he’s like blah blah I’m sorry your suffering blah blah. He doesn’t need to blow it out of proportion like that. He’s always asking me what I’m doing and what I’m watching and he’s in my business too much. He compliments me genuinely too much. I don’t need to hear im fantastic and beautiful and this and that all day everyday. I know it’s like probably my borderline. But I’m gonna rip my hair out if he compliments me one more time.
Anonymous 111387
>>111386I'm dealing with the same issue right now. He keeps asking me question after question about my life and I revealed too much and now he's always asking me how I feel and if I'm okay and telling me to eat and drink and rest. Enough!! If I ignore his messages he just keeps talking to me. I had to be like.. stop, I have shit to do. Now he's scared I'm going to break up with him and wants to message me even more. Headache.
Anonymous 111388
>>111386>>111387Just be direct and tell him he is being excessive. If he is mature he'll understand, if not you're better off anyway.
Anonymous 111389
>>111387Girly same. It gives me a massive headache. I don’t hate him or anything. It’s just too much. I don’t need to be asked if I’m okay a million times a day or if I feel slightly off. Does he like look at your social media all the time. Not in like a negative way just to see what you post? Mine does and it’s making me not really wanna post because it’s like I can’t have a semblance of a private life. I appreciate the sentiment.
>>111388 I have playfully but then I just feel guilty cause he’s not really doing anything wrong.
Anonymous 111396
>>111389>I just feel guiltyYou should never feel bad about setting healthy boundaries. Sounds like you can and should do so with him.
Anonymous 111400
i really want to feel love of a boyfriend i get love from my family but i want a guy to love me, you know?? :c
i have no friends currently and could anyone give me advice on how to find a boyfriend online? is e dating worth it? i know i heard people say it's not but there's always a chance you know. ughh i wish i would get warm messages or gifts. i want a man to love me so bad it's not even funny anymore. i'm praying!
Anonymous 111401
If this moid doesn't fuck shit up, I'm meeting him in about 2 weeks (he'll be back from his out of town trip). Met him on a dating app because I was fucking desperate kek. So we'll see. Hope he's not an ass and is actually decent looking irl
Anonymous 111402
>>111400>is e dating worth it?no, it's not, and people treat you like you're crazy or exaggerating how the scrote felt and treated you once you get bored and break up.
Anonymous 111403
>>111400>is e dating worth it?no, it's not, and people treat you like you're crazy or exaggerating how the scrote felt and treated you once you get bored and break up.
Anonymous 111405
>>111403really? could you explain more what can happen
Anonymous 111406
>>111405like i wanna know what are the downsides of edating in general
i know first it's the long distance thing
Anonymous 111410
>>111406He could be talking to multiple girls, his friends, one could end up being a chick pretending to be a guy, he could be a closeted repressed homosexual or lie to you, etc
Anonymous 111411
>>111406>>111405getting free gifts and money because you look pretty and are willing to voice chat with a scrote is all fine and dandy but men edate because no women want them for a reason. and blocking/ghosting them results in mass harassment that never stops until you move out of the country. consider how many women die to dating violence or because they politely turned down a scrote. moids are deranged and the online ones even more so.
>>111410that and it could be a convicted rapist/murderer who has your home address.
Anonymous 111412
>>111406Well this isn't exclusive to long distance, but I get jealous that my bf has friends and I don't.
Anonymous 111414
>>111413no, i want him to ditch his friends for me
Anonymous 111417
anyone else in kind of a rut right now ? as in feeling a lack of direction or goals.
Anonymous 111420
My mom is fucking retarded
Anonymous 111425
>develop crush on a guy
>he wants to fuck my more attractive friend
>no problem, im fat and not conventionally pretty, never been popular with men, it is what it is.
>he starts actively ignoring me, walking up to me and my friend and literally turning back at me at times, purposely never acknowledges me
>ok a bit weird and upsetting, but whatever.
>flash forward, friend has rejected the dude twice, not interested
>suddenly randomly messages me for a "hang out ;)" at 8pm after having little to no interaction with me
>doesnt even try to hide that he just thinks im a convenient hole to fuck.
>what the hell
>politely tell him to fuck off, but its a massive hit to my self esteem. start binging and bed rotting for a few months.
>upset, but mostly tied to my own body image
>flash forward, i start to get my shit together and hit the gym in january
>Now feel constantly infuriated about the entire situation
Why are men like this. Why would you try to take advantage of someone this way. I feel so hurt by this and i dont know what to do about it.
Anonymous 111427
>>111417Yeah but only for the past 13 years
Anonymous 111430
905e75ffbd65dfa66b…
Moids have ruined my life to the point where I am certain I will never be able to trust or love anyone again.
Anonymous 111432
>>111431Molested by my own father from ages 4-6. Was introduced to porn at around 7, and started talking to adult men online when I was 10. Started being groomed at 12 by a 21 year old man. We met irl when I was 13 and had sex, he was emotionally abusive the whole time and I stayed with him until I was 16. I'm 19 now. I still don't know how to move on or recover
Anonymous 111434
>>111432Can y'all put a spoiler on these?
Anonymous 111436
>>110207One of the fellow teachers hissed at me in a very rude and aggressive tone in front of my students to put my phone away, she must have thought I was one of the kids. Nasty and uncalled for.
I'm responding to my estate agent not watching TikTok, butt out.
Anonymous 111437
>>111434NAYRT but this is so self absorbed and anti social and overall an inappropriate response to a woman making a disclosure like this. Like I'm sorry you were forcibly exposed to the trauma OF SOMEONE ELSE, how horrible for you?
Anonymous 111440
>>111437I'm sorry you were forcibly exposed to the trauma OF SOMEONE ELSE, how horrible for you?
Horrible enough. We went through the same thing. I'd appreciate a spoiler, that's all.
Anonymous 111443
>>111440Also reminder pedofag scrotes will ask about your trauma to get their shrimps off.
Anonymous 111445
>>111432Do you work or go to school? Having a form of financial and social independence and taking care of my health was what helped me move on from sexual trauma. I don't make enough money to move out because my city has a housing crisis (I live with family but not my abusive relatives), but having something to do outside of the house helped me stop fixating on how my life sucks and become more independent by having my own income.
Anonymous 111446
Idk who to talk to about this so im just gonna post it here.
My ex crush got a saggy chin from years of hardcore smoking yet runs around as though hes hot shit. Nigga, your face looks like a puffer fish and your mental health is literal dogshit, how are you this inept?
Fucking moids, amirite or amirite?
Anonymous 111448
>>111446there's a moid hate thread up there in the catalog. and you'll probably suck dicks with an even worse one you're pathetic
Anonymous 111449
>>111448Doubt it, i learn from my mistakes.
"YoUrE pAtHeTic" i feel like you're hardcore projecting, but go off ig
Anonymous 111452
>>111449You're still seeing, thinking and being bothered by him in your brain, you haven't learned shit. Unprompted complaints about exs are even lamer than boyfriend rants, at least they're getting dicked.
Anonymous 111453
>>111452Last time i checked, it was a vent thread in /feels. You're entitled to your opinion and im entitled to my feelings, no matter how illogical or shitty either one is ¯\_('-')_/¯
Anonymous 111454
>>111434My bad, genuinely. And sorry that you went through the same.
Anonymous 111455
>>111437could be bc they don't want to be reminded of something but go off sis
Anonymous 111456
I wanna have a kid SO BAD. I'm finally THERE. I have a house and a good job. But I'm a lesbian and haven't found a proper partner. UGH. And sperm donors are so expensive, wtf, how are they so expensive??? wtf??? how is something commonly found in socks so expensive???
Anonymous 111458
>>111457
>I'm a normal 6'2 tall white man with 115 iq
Press X to doubt
Anonymous 111459
>>111457
>115 iq
This isn't anything to brag about lmao
Anonymous 111460
>>111459he's male and he thinks his room temperature iq is a bragging right. retardanon needs to pick a struggle
Anonymous 111461
>>111456>lesbian>doesn't even have a partner but obsess over getting impregnated with spermyeah right, probably a set up by the moid itself
Anonymous 111463
>>111461huh? I want to have kids, yes, and I'm a lesbian. Lol. Omg, maybe I'll just adopt.
Anonymous 111465
>>111464Can I borrow some stem cells from your spinal fluid then, bestie? Now we're both saved!
Anonymous 111466
troons obsessing over pregnancy ew
Anonymous 111467
>>111462
yeah, 115 is average. it might as well be room temperature.
Anonymous 111468
I fucking hate asexuals and “””queers””” in general. I haven’t met a single one that wasn’t a neurotic attention seeker. Wow, you make flirty jokes without deliberately wanting to fuck everything with a pulse? You’re SOOO not like the other girls. In fact, you’re better. Please, please keep telling me about your sexual identity unprovoked, please, I have to know.
Anonymous 111469
>>111468they are all narcissistic assholes anyway (including the moids)
Anonymous 111471
>>111459>he only has an IQ of 115I’m surprised there are women considering reproducing with him at all.
Anonymous 111475
>>111466and saying shit like "men can get pregnant too!"
Anonymous 111482
>>111468I hear you, I find asexual woman to be the most annoying because they are always trying to pretend that they are oppressed. And then when you ask for examples of the oppression, they just list out misogyny. Like there is nothing in the experience of being in asexual woman that sexual women don't also face?
Anonymous 111484
why do some people make it their duty to try to constantly put you down over small things
Anonymous 111485
i had a dream today that made me sad about the lack of wilderness in developed parts of the US. how often is it you read about going on adventures with your friends in the wilderness, or a small town still enveloped with some, then go on in real life to see little?
Anonymous 111488
>>111484My associates do that
The guy I was in love with did that
Anonymous 111489
Every time around this time of year, i see the trickle of graduation ceremonies posts on facebook. Hs and prep school alumni who went to schools that id once considered “dream schools”, which id failed to secure admissions to on account of being a failure and a wreck of a person and a shameful shamefilled waste of space. And im filled with bitterness and these feel-sorry-for-yourself waves that are almost impossible to fight off. It’s not like i didnt graduate or something. It’s just that im 25 and i feel 85 and am assailed constantly by bitter ruminative regrets. I judge myself constantly for every minute gesture, every miniscule perceived under achievement. I pick apart my flaws with a diligence that would be better applied to doing something productive. I hoard my personality to myself and actively suppress myself from self expression even in things as rudimentary as daily consumption. I am an envious, bitter, putrid goblin of a womanchild. I am despicable by myself. Maybe beloved by some other people who are shielded from the true extent of my loathsome nature by virtue of not being me.
Anonymous 111490
>>111417I like to gaslight myself by pretending that my sporadic yet persistent depressive mini episodes are just little easter eggs of my luteal phases and that im always bound to get better once i bleed. Well i havent bled this month and my brain is practically feeding on itself lmao, i am constantly fantasizing about having an out of body experience and beating the shit out of my lifeless body
Anonymous 111495
>>111417Yes. I was considering art therapy as my next ditch effort since there's a place near me that does it. Maybe I'll meet a friend or something
Anonymous 111500
Is there such a thing as academic/career trauma? Because im trying actively to get better at maths (currently slaving in a research center) and every second i write in my notebook or try to connect dots, my brain just bombards me with sad depressive thoughts about how my peers had mastered this shit years ago and look at where they are now and it’s impossible to catch up and that i should probably give up because my academic stint proved how unserious and undiligent i am.
Anonymous 111503
I'm glad I'm not "friends" with him anymore. He's a little faggot. If I still have any kind of contact with him I'd be tempted to tell him to kill himself.
Anonymous 111504
>>111500yeah I think that kind of trauma does exist. I recently left a job after 9 months of being overworked, severely underpaid, and regularly berated by woman-hating moids. Currently taking a long break from jumping back into job-searching bc the mere thought of working corporate again makes me nauseous as fuck. I dont wanna put myself in that situation ever again.
Anonymous 111509
IMG_20240323_16155…
>>111504I'm in the same position as you nona, I am about to quit my horrible corporate job, it's a frat house. Nepotism of the chads, while I got nothing despite knowing everything and staying loyal. Can't wait to finally go this month! Freedom!
Anonymous 111510
>>111500I worked retail for 7 years, bunch of which I was in college for, and the burnout is real. I've been unemployed for months because I had a mental breakdown unrelated to my job, my job didn't understand, nobody kept in contact with me despite me being there for so long. I am bouncing back and I'm anxious that even though I have a degree now my current awkwardness won't warrant me anything but another retail job. It's the last thing I want. In hindsight there were moments at the job where I was treated abominably and I ask why I tolerated it for so long in these months I'd been out of work, alongside realizing my coworkers didn't care about me enough to keep in contact.
Anonymous 111515
I'm tired of the internet man. It's been my only friend and companion since I was, what, 12 years old but it ain't the same and my brain doesn't want to accept it because that means I will have to find a different coping mechanism for being a schizoid tier lonely loser!
Anonymous 111519
>>111489What's so disgraceful about your personality and self-expression?
Anonymous 111520
I have the weirdest writer's block lately where I can't get anything done without feeling massively depressed and lonely. People encourage me and like my ideas but I just feel crushed for some reason the minute I try to write something.
Anonymous 111522
>>111519I think i was extra distressed when i wrote that (im still sad, but it’s low key).
Probably meant that im so fucking cripplingly insecure that i censor myself from sharing my interests and genuine feelings with people (fearing that they would mock and belittle me). This reaction might be justifiable if i were abused as a kid, but i don’t even have the “luxury” of a shitty childhood to fall back and blame my adult shortcomings on. I don’t have a sense of personal style because i won’t even dare try out new clothes when im shopping. I’ve never once taken time to personalize my living space with trinkets and accessories and personal belongings. I don’t think i have “personal belongings” anymore. I share my brush and makeup with my mother. Most of it is almost three years old. My clothes are ancient? I don’t have hobbies, or interests but not in a depressed kind of way. More in a “im such a despicable, uninteresting person that i need to make up for my inherent dislikeability by choosing sophisticated hobbies but i somehow am too stuck in decision paralysis to make the choice and so here i am”.
Anonymous 111526
why are men so loud compared to women
this is one of the things i can't stand about a lot of men. they are so loud for no reason. can we stop procreating with loud people please? if your existence is assaulting others peace just shut up already. god i seriously cannot stand it sometimes
Anonymous 111528
I blocked my only friend after years because I was tired of her using her chronic pain as an excuse to be a flat out bully. Her calling me an "ugly whore" was the last straw. Been stewing in loneliness for 3 months now. I don't have a job (disabled) and my family doesn't talk to me so I have no social interaction, ever. Now I miss my ex friend because getting shit on every time we talked was less suffering than this. I wish it were easy to make friends.
Anonymous 111537
IMG_20240304_18360…
>>111528I would be your friend anon. I used to have a shirt best friend like that and dropped her long ago. If you don't want to be friends then I hope you find the perfect friend soon.
Anonymous 111542
I’m not ready to let her go. It’s been so long. Tell me how will I fall in love like that again? Can you get lucky twice?
Anonymous 111549
CE1BCA17-0F37-4F41…
I hate the aftermath of a fight/breakdown. There’s something cathartic about the initial yelling but there’s so much awkwardness and regret. Everyone walks on eggshells and it feels fucking awful. I just wish conflict could be resolved and everyone could be friends like kids but you can’t wipe memories. Fuck…
Anonymous 111555
I am fucking miserable today girls! My dad is a rabid misogynist and ever since he realised he can't emotionally abuse my mom anymore he takes it all out on me. I am 22. You are 58. I am your daughter. Shut the fuck up. Stop telling me how much you hate women. Stop sending me incel tiktoks. Stop fat shaming me when I'm barely 100 lbs. You're supposed to be my dad.
Anonymous 111557
>>111555So what's stopping you from roasting the fuck out of him?
Anonymous 111558
>>111557Funny story. Every once in a while I roast the everloving fuck out of him and he cries and then he becomes a better person for like, 2 weeks maximum. Then the cycle repeats.
Anonymous 111562
random drunk vent
i feel like ass. god i want to die. wheat ale tastes like shit but i just need to shut my brain off
why can we enlist in a goddamn war when we're 18, but alcohol is a no go? so, so stupid.
Anonymous 111564
>>111558>>111555>rabid misogynist>sends incel tiktok>cries and becomes better person for 2 weeksNot to be rude but is he autistic? Maybe undiagnosed childhood one
Anonymous 111568
>>111522If you didn't have to worry about anybody ever seeing you or your personal space, would you feel more confident trying on new styles/decorating?
Anonymous 111577
>>111564I just wish autistic girls would actually be as violent as these "auTisM" men
Anonymous 111578
I was just watching some old videos of iDubbbz. The ones that are from like 2016-2017, because at the time I thought that was his best era. How? And why the fuck did I even have a crush on that guy? He's always been retarded.
Anonymous 111582
konata tired.png
My gut has been feeling awful for possibly more than two weeks from drinking water and I don't know what to do.
Anonymous 111586
>>111564can confirm, dad's 100% autistic.
Anonymous 111588
>>111586adding onto this, he hates autistic women and refused to acknowledge himself as autistic once me and my mom got diagnosed!
Anonymous 111610
Seriously starting to recent my boyfriend. I dont want to stay but dont want to leave yet either, I don't know why, but I know its just a matter of time now till I'm just totally fed up and leave. He is such an stupid autist holy shit I don't know why the fuck I'm with him.
Anonymous 111618
IMG_20240309_22044…
>>111582Switch your water brand/stop drinking tap water. Your anime pic is ugly.
>>111610What's wrong with him? Has he hurt you ever? Does he genuinely love you?
>>111588He sounds insufferable and childish, I'm sorry you have to put up with it. I hope you can escape him soon.
Anonymous 111620
I really dont know if i should be in love right now.
Anonymous 111621
>>111400Do you love urself? Isn't that enough? Why do you need a guy to love you?
Anonymous 111622
>>111425he never liked you for u, why care? You wouldnt have liked his personality anyway
Anonymous 111623
>>111549Apologeez usually make it better, but its a hard thing cuz it requires both people to work on it
Anonymous 111645
>>111627>stop being a woman>become retarded pedophilic nigger-tier subhumansmall price to pay for gainz
Anonymous 111648
I FUCKING HATE SLUGSN!!!
Anonymous 111650
>>111627Youʼre the most annoying poster on the whole site.
Anonymous 111655
van gogh crab.jpg
I'm inadequate. I waste hours writing and rewriting sentences to try encapsulate my thoughts, and I trash them all. I compare myself to others, but the main frustration comes from wanting to do something beyond my ability. Imagine dedicating your life to stacking little houses of cards, and the best you can do is one or two levels. I feel like that with everything.
Anonymous 111658
>>111655If you tell yourself that you make it true
Anonymous 111662
>>111655What is that image
Looks like a coconut crab doing self succ
Anonymous 111808
>>111662It's one of Van Gogh's few works I actually like. A crab on its back.
>>111658The truth is in the pudding.
Anonymous 111834
>>111366She left for 3 days and didn't even bother to clean up after herself so now I have to do her dishes and clean everything. She hasn't even been doing anything but bum around on her computer for the past year while I'm stressed out with all my obligations and I have to take care of her shit even though she is the older one. She eats my food and starts fights every other day over bullshit accusing me of gaslighting her or being mean to her when I'm not even fucking doing anything to her. She will literally follow me and scream outside my door when I lock it. She is such a slob and has no regard for me. Plus she is always making irritating noise. I can't wait to get out of here in a year and never have to deal with her fat, lazy ass ever again. I hate her so much. I'm never living with her again. I will love having a clean, silent place to myself soon. I will be very wary about living with anyone else in the future. There is really no greater comfort than being alone.
Anonymous 111843
29bc51bc-cfd2-4699…
>>109995It's so difficult making new friends. Recently I have been talking to a girl who seems nice but I am always overthinking things and I have a hard time coming up with things to do with her. I always question myself whether she likes my company or is she just putting up with me. :(
Anonymous 111869
>>111862The museum didn't tell me about this one! Thank you <3
Anonymous 111890
I have stuff I wanna talk about to someone, anyone but places like here and LCF are the only places I can do it anonymously. Not even sure where I would talk about it (a new thread? Different thread? This one?) . but I don’t want to be attacked for it. I know radfems will see it and will be brutal but if I do it on social media… people will also see it and be just as brutal if not more. It’s eating me alive.
Anonymous 111891
>>111890you can try making a thread on /feels/ nona
Anonymous 111903
>>111891>>111895i decided against a new thread i am too anxious about it. just cuz i don't know how to like present it. i am terrified of getting banned and i know lcf migrants are slowly coming in and can't resist starting issues on vent threads. have lurked here a while. never posted until now.
i have been detransitioning on the low. i will probably never tell my family. not worth the trouble. some people will know but most wont. i don't want a witch hunt attempt despite me having very little social media presence or anyone's eyes on me. i don't want to provoke it. i still have issues regarding my gender to figure out. a lot of it stems from CSA + SA, body dysmorphia, how society not only perceives women, eating disorders and unfixable health issues. my parent's favoritism over my brother and a healthy dose of autism in added. i wasn't allowed to be a tomboy like i wanted. my health issues made everyone treat me like i was glass. wasn't allowed to skateboard, do BMX, do sports or even fucking go hunting. why? because of my health and some because "i was a girl". my mom pressured the girly image onto me also. i wasn't groomed to come out. i got the idea in my head on my own in 2012 then had my CSA abuser egg it on. i was 13 when i told my family the next year. i am in my mid-20s now. i did t for 2 years. didn't do jack shit but make my health issues worse. now here i am. i like presenting "masculine" as the brain dead would say. i do prefer to go by my ""boy" name which is another can of worms. i hate long hair. i hate basically all trans people i meet. i see the state of things with "the queer community" regarding trans people and get disgusted. i have been falling out of the spell slowly since 2018 back when i started using lcf and kiwi. my greatest thanks to the lolcow kevin gibes,
finding out my csa abuser is now she and works with children ages 10-14 for pushing me into the hole and thanks to my friend who told me to kill myself because i was trans (3 months after our friend killed himself so that was cute)
Anonymous 111905
>>111903It's brave of you to post that here. I can't really comment since your experience seems to have been very difficult. All I can say is that you have your own path to walk. You struggled finding yourself. You experimented. You struggled some more. And you'll keep experimenting. For now, I'd say try to keep toxic people away and do what feels right even even if it's not standard like detransitioning while keeping your male name.
Anonymous 111907
>>111903what made you detransition and realize the whole transgender ideology was bs? don't feel like you can't share here nona!
Anonymous 111929
>>111903Damn, I'm sorry your life has been such a fuckaround.
>that spoilerHave you tried reporting "her"? That's fucked up and if you have any evidence then you need to report what he's done so that he doesn't do it to more kids.
Anonymous 111941
>>111905thanks. its just been really weird to deal with. there's just a lot to trudge through. i never liked my actual name and i feel like i would have ended up going by a different name even if i didn't go down those path. it started super super young.
>>111907 tbh? experiences i have had over time plus things i saw while strolling around on kiwi esp. i have had trans "women" not only try to hit on me or pressure me into sex but had one tell me that "afab people" are lower then trans"women" just like women are to men because they are still women. weird logic but its not the first time i had heard the "trans"women" over "afab mascs and nbs" thing. to my face. a lot of the trans "men" i was around were very very deeply mentally ill and were getting support for the wrong things + enabled by other people around them to get worse. drug use (like hard not talking weed here), self harm and dangerous sexual behaviors. i will say outside of personal stuff or direct lolcow watching. how they handled nex benedict stuff. esp after a lot facts came out about her home life and more. i was in that situation. i could see how it lead to what happened. i was nex once. it felt insensitive and disgusting. lastly, so much enabling of mental health issues. its all about chasing that dragon, sex and fucking up your body. don't go to therapy. don't take your meds. doctors are evil unless they are chopping you up for that gender high. there's been so much.
>>111929 i was vulnerable. that's the point of this stuff. going for the vulnerable. i was a kid who was isolated, suffering in silence, and unwell all around. all i had was the computer sometimes ya know. i found "community" in the worst way.
can say unfortunately what i should have kept is gone. there's not much i can prove. he denies it up and down anyway. i haven't creeped on his LinkedIn in a while but i hope he's not working with that job anymore. so so much.
Anonymous 111949
You belong in a ga…
>>109995I wish my employees would show up on time. To be frank, its only the non-white ones.
I lower my standards and consider that being more than 10mins is being late and even then, 50% or more of my colored employees are late.
Anonymous 111952
The urge to start a gofundme posing as a troon wanting a transition is so strong
Anonymous 111953
>>111952oh my god this will work SO well nona you just gave me an idea kek
Anonymous 111958
>>111953make sure you also say you're disabled and BIPOC and you can't show your face b.c. you're not out yet and also you need to escape an abusive home, kek
Anonymous 111970
Recently I've been annoyed by how much women obsess over men. This site is prime example of this. Be it pinkpill manhating threads, be it tfw no bf type of threads, be it "my moidfriend is a total jerk but I want to keep him, help" threads, I am so sick of them. Even now I got caught in trap and am talking about them, crap.
But I really don't understand why straight women like them so much. I don't try to recroot or anything, J genuinely don't understand. Moids are fucking ugly, they look like naked chimps and gorillas, there's nothing beautiful about them. Their dicks look like wrinkly prolapsed rectums and it's not like they're useful at pleasuring women. I'm not the first and not the last to talk about this, but they all have nasty personalities, most of them being annoying perverted spergs who like to fight with eachother over slightest shit. Moids who are just calm, clean and nice are considered ideal by many, while it should be basic fucking requirements.
And again, I hate it that there are so many threads about those creatures. Inb4, make and bump threads about something else, I do it. But they barely get any traction and return back to the ass of catalog in two days.
Fuck this straight earth
Anonymous 111976
I'm scared that I will never find love, while at the same time I feel like there's no hope for love in this day and age.
Anonymous 111978
>>111970 Im literally dying at "prolapsed rectums" that's so true.
Anonymous 111983
1701012228166622.j…
The past week I quit vaping weed after vaping everyday for about 2 years (I'm 21 and started in college, graduated and living at home now). I've been having really bad nightmares and mood swings cause of the withdrawals and I felt like it wasn't fair to my family that they had to deal with me right and now and worry about me being such a mess the past week without know why. They never knew I vaped or smoked weed before. I decided to tell my mom this morning cause she didn't have work today.
When I explained it all too her she just launched into every thing else I should do differently in my life, and told me that the most important thing is that I should really stop drinking too (I have maybe 3 glasses of wine a week MAX shes just personally a teetotaler, not for religious reasons and she drank way more than me when she was younger). I broke down and have been crying for hours since then.
I didn't expect a pat on the back for stopping doing something which I shouldn't have been doing in the first place, but quitting has been really tough on me and my mental health, and it was even tougher being honest about something which I found really embarrassing to admit. I just wanted her to acknowledge that and at least have a little sympathy or offer some support while I try and get my shit together. Instead she acted like I was a dog she just got told had worms on top of it already having flees. I feel like shit and have basically lost all motivation to quit and I don't want to see her at all
Anonymous 111985
>>111655>>111862i hate crabs, they're ancient bugs that can pinch your finger off
Anonymous 112003
>>111976genuinely i desire romance but it feels so pointless, all that investment just to be fucked off by a guy who never saw me as a person and now knows all my flaws and weaknesses
Anonymous 112005
>>111452"at least theyre getting dicked" girly get dicked isnt exactly a hot commodity, males will literally fuck anything and getting fucked by some scrotes piss expelling meat stick isnt exactly an epic win
Anonymous 112006
>>111325is unfortunately ingrained in us since early development
Anonymous 112010
ALiEN STAGE.jpg
every time i talk to my friends im reminded of how blessed being single and moidless is
exhibit 1
>first met her bf at her minimum wage job as a 18-19 year old
>he was in his late twenties and had a whole wife and two infant kids
>leaves wife to date her, friend did not know this at the time
>friend leaves job bc the whole work team bully her for this but not the moid
>fastforward to several years later
>they live together and she basically raises his kids for him whenever theyre over
>he lies about not being a cumbrain even though shes caught him with porn multiple times
>one day she gets the "hey girly" message from her female ex manager
>hes been using an alt snapchat account to try to fuck her and presumably multiple other women
>she sends her a photo of his literal cock and another of his face
>shes sad and complains to me and her other friends but then proceeds to stay with him
>shes 22 now and gave up her dream of going to uni and perusing aviation bc "waaa who will raise my kids"
>me and all out mutual friends beg her to leave him and were even willing to house her for a bit, she just vents to us about him but has no intent on actually leaving him
exhibit 2
>friend gets involved with honestly rather sketchy/dumb friend group
>one is this guy who she dates on and off
>cheated on her multiple times, insults her and calls her fat
>she arranged to live in a student housing style situation with him and two other friends
>this is while they're dating, he tells her to get the single smallest room and for him to get one of the large ones as "youll be in my room all the time anyways"
>breaks up with her as soon as she signs the contract
>also sexually assaulted our mutual friend
>"ah well im friends with her and friends with him so im just gonna not involve them with each other"
>hippy dippy i have no enemies bullshit
>literally everyone begs her to leave him fully
>he complains to her about how much more attractive her friends are including me
>doesnt let her interact with certain people, is possessive with her but freely fucks and gets involved with other girls
>she stays because "i still love him"
exhibit 3
>friend has long term bf, she got him to come work at the same wagecuck job as her
>apparently she was the side chick from his previous relationship, she hates this but "loves" him
>they constantly argue, its always about how she was the side ho etc, theres always that level of tension
>they "go on a break" her bf quits his job, my friend cant handle being single and proceeds to get involved with some 28 year old virgin on discord who buys her sanrio merch and shit
>she dumps cuckboy after taking his virginity and getting back together with her og bf
>they try again for another handful of months and then they break up fully this time
>friend then cant handle being single and gets back with cuckboy who flies in from poland to be with her
>finds out he has other discord kittens and gets mad
>he buys her sushi and other gay pastel shit and she forgives him
>hes also a bitcoiner so hes probably actually retarded
>complains to me about his porn habits and then asks me when im getting a bf and offers to hook me up with his friends in the same breath
many, many such cases
Anonymous 112014
My dad is losing his memory and doesn't always remember me or my sibling. I don't want to lose my dad but I ferl like he's already gone.
Anonymous 112015
>>112010>finds out he has other discord kittens and gets madkek
Anonymous 112026
i feel so drained i can’t even cry. i’m just sitting with a razor in my hand looking at my baby picture across the room. what happened to me. how did it get this bad so fast. the time flew by. but honestly i’m not even surprised. i knew something was off about me starting in junior high. it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. i wish someone would’ve helped. so many saw the signs but why didn’t anyone help me? my mother saw the signs when i passed out for hours everyday after school, my teachers saw the signs when i stopped attending and sat alone away from my friends. my friends saw the signs when i became withdrawn and in my own world. i wish i had an intervention before i ended up like how i am now. now i’m trying to fix myself all alone with no supports. it’s so hard when your mother neglects you, is unsupportive and mocks you for trying to seek help. i hate going to the psychiatrist and doctors and therapy all alone knowing noone cares if i do or if i don’t. i just wish one person would care about me. i sob every single day and my heart beats out of my chest. i’ve become more neurotic than ever and i can’t sleep. my future is down the drain and i don’t know what to do. i feel like i’m cursed by a witch to fail.
Anonymous 112027
>>112014Same… my family’s not taking it very well as he was the sole breadwinner. My moms too busy caretaking him and being a single mom to my three younger siblings. their house has turned to hoarder levels of cleanliness and I try to help clean up when I visit. But all I feel like is breaking down and crying because he has a lot of health problems, he got early on set dementia and Parkinson’s, and he is only 60 years old - it feels like my dad was taken from us too soon
Anonymous 112028
>>112027That's really tough. My dad is in his 70s and both of us kids are adults. My heart goes out to you, nona.
Anonymous 112045
Had to say goodbye to my childhood cat last night. She was a great cat and it was heartbreaking to see her deteriorate so much. She was purring while I pet her until the end, but I didn't want to say goodbye yet. 18 years is a long time to have a pet, so I am thankful for that.
Anonymous 112056
>>112026>i knew something was off about mewhat is it?
Anonymous 112060
>>112056depression, not getting along with other kids, anxiety, neglectful parents. my heart would always beat out of my chest. a premonition of my future being shit. i could notice clear differences between me and the other kids who were happier. when my teacher asked what i wanted to be when i grew up i told her my honest dream job, but a part of me believed i would never get there and now i’m messing up in university. i was diagnosed with adhd this year and everything is slowly starting to make sense but i wish i could fix things.
Anonymous 112067
>>112060>depression, not getting along with other kids, anxietyi'm literally all of that but on steroids. im probably much worse off than you if that comforts you. like, very severe social anxiety. no human contact at all. extreme feelings of inadequacy
>i could notice clear differences between me and the other kids who were happieri had a brutal malocclusion from 12 to 17 that made me not want to smile or laugh in public, ever. i completely lost all my teenage years because of stupid things like that, which stem from other underlying issues i guess. now i have no friends at all. i study online because seeing people IRL makes me feel bad and anxious. i can barely call this life, its more like being on solitary confinement in my house
Anonymous 112068
disgusting pregnant whore bitch with a Nigel who did rapey shit break up with the distrusting rapist or fucking die idiot how is your account filled with extreme misandry but then you deny he is a rapist and say you love him like a dumb retarded evil cunt filthy male obsessed trad femoid bitch fucking dissapear stupid handmaiden
Anonymous 112075
I'm completely obsessed with balkan moids. It started with this fucking "remove kebab" meme around 2012. Before that I didn't think much about the balkans, despite going to Croatia and Slovenia twice for holidays. Slovenia that was part of my club of "perfect countries" because it's lovely, clean and blonde, but Croatia just felt like subpar gypsy riddlen Italy to me.
But then I discovered this fucking meme. I started listening to these stupid serbian songs EVERY FUCKING DAY. Still do btw. I love these songs. I love collecting anti serb or anti croat soyjak memes interchangeably. I have a huge collection of them. I still talk to this serbian dude I've met while playing an online video game in 2013 almost daily. When a semi-interesting dude tells me he's from the balkans I'm instantly in heat. Even if he's ugly with some Skandergbeg tier honker. But despite all of this I never fucked any.
I'm just tired of this obsession sometimes.
Anonymous 112076
I'm waiting/expecting this moid to start texting me again. I don't want to be the one who does it first because I don't wanna look desperate. kek.
Anonymous 112091
>>112067anon we are twin flames, i also have a fucked up malocclusion and don’t smile. i’m trying to get a job to pay for braces but places don’t email me back. i also study online and hate it. i understand how crushing it can be. i wish the best for both of us
Anonymous 112114
>>112075i fucked an Albanian and it was genuinely the most erotic experience of my life, his cock was genuinely gigantic, he had amazing stamina and fucked me so good i genuinely thought i met god, wouldn't date him though bc i dont want muslim kids
Anonymous 112118
>>112114wise choice. my bf isn't muslim but he has a muslim family name because he says they were forced to change it under islamic rule. i told him our kids are not having muslim names and he's agreed to change his last name back to what it used to be before his family was forced to change it.
Anonymous 112122
>>112091my mouth is fine now, braces fixed my teeth years ago - i still have a small scar on my tongue from those days…
>i understand how crushing it can be.it was a bad idea, i should have done it face to face instead. now im just lonely and i have no one to talk to at all
Anonymous 112132
1666610140459.jpg
my thoughts are a broken record! I need to accept that, it will be okay
Anonymous 112138
I keep having nightmares of my first (ex) boyfriend. We dated two years ago… It hurts me I can't control my mind, hurts to have these dreams. I don't know what to do. I feel somewhat disgusting.
Anonymous 112187
I fucking hate my brother, that nearly forty BPD manchild, a drain on society, scum.
Anonymous 112189
if only being a NEET would get you paid (not by your parents)
Anonymous 112221
>>112189i mean, there's always benefits
Anonymous 112224
>>112028Thanks nona try to cherish the memories you had with him before the dementia, he raised you and loved you, I regret not having heart to heart moments with him when he was younger as he was always busy working trying to provide for us
Anonymous 112268
>>109995I feel like I'm at a dead end. I'm at an age in life where things seem like they can only stay the same or get worse.
I've reached a point where having children of my own has become such a dim and distant possibility.
I have no college education so my job options are limited. I hate my job. I hate my options. I hate myself the most for not having more fun in life. I feel like I did nothing and I will always only have nothing.
Anonymous 112269
>>112268There's definitely opportunities still to do those things if you're not over 35
But if you're early 30s the window is closing
Anonymous 112277
>>112189Depends on your skin color but it's possible.
Anonymous 112286
Just feeling retarded in general
Anonymous 112298
Still pisses me off that girls can badmouth other girls the whole time but if I say another thing about shitty males I can feel I'm being annoying to them. And it's always the "misandry is cool yeah same" girlies, fuck them.
Anonymous 112317
Wanna go back to 2016 and shoot myself in the head. I was too happy back then and didn't realize what was coming for me.
Anonymous 112324
So tired of this 25 year old enby woman I know doing the whole "I'm just a clueless little girllll I don't know that men are perverts!!! I'm just so nice I never understand!!!" She claims to hate moids but will date a man who calls her a slot and a whore and is obsessed with anal. Top fucking kek. She's so fucking annoying. She thinks she's oh so beautiful and that everyone thinks she's 14 when she's very obviously addicted to nicotine, has cystic acne, waxen skin, premature wrinkles. I can't wait for her to reach her 30's and sperg the fuck out about her lost youth.
Anonymous 112325
>>112324what "lost youth" are you yapping about?? she has affection, love, a bf. i have nothing. nothing.
Anonymous 112328
I love myself
I'm a great person
Anonymous 112329
Moving on from abuse is easy (when the abuse was not too harsh)
- Accept you are a victim but do not wallow in it
- There is no shame on you, the shame is on the abuser
- You are not stupid and your action made sense with the knowledge you had back then, you were just missing information
- Realize it happens to more people than you think
- Remember your mistakes so you don't get in the same situation again
- Realize you are FINE on your OWN and you don't need anybody
Anonymous 112339
>>111025You should throw your pills in the trash and get a job and a hobby.
Anonymous 112359
I really like baking and I think I’m pretty good at it. Well I wanna bake cream puffs and bring them to work. I’m scared no one will want them though:/
Anonymous 112366
>>112359Personally nona, I'd love homebakes at work :) update us if you go for it.
Anonymous 112380
My boyfriend got attacked while at work yesterday by some stupid brocolli headed little faggots and got sent home. (He's fine, they barely hurt him and he busted one of their eyes) According to both him and his coworker who drove him home, they are putting the blame on him.
The situation is completely one sided (they went where they weren't supposed to go, they tried to steal his golf cart, and obviously they hit him first) but it's being turned into a "youth wellbeing" situation rather than a case of assault.
This just got me thinking about how I am very quickly becoming incompassionate for people with "rough homelife backgrounds".
I can think of several things in my town and the nearest city got shut down because retarded brats go around making them violent. There used to be an all local band concert in the park near me every year when I was in high school, but because some group of kids showed up and attacked a girl, then her GRAMPA for trying to stop it, that event was discontinued. It wasn't that fun, but still. I wanted to volunteer at a program that teaches younger teens computers and gives them away, and the dorky moid who talked to me said he would vouch for me. The company sponsoring it also shut it down because again, a group of retarded kids who should have been arrested and never freed, got inside and attacked several kids and staff. (And they did this at the behest of 2 adults my age this time. 2 people in their 20s wanted a kid harmed over facebook comments)
Why do nice things have to go away because of trashy poo poo poor people? Why is the bar for taking kids away from drug addicts so high? Why are said drug addicts never blamed for their trash kids behaving like trash? My parents used to always tell me "you have to understand that some kids grow up without all the same things you had!" but why the fuck am I supposed to care? If somebody hurts others how can they possibly be the victim?
Anonymous 112382
My thought patterns are getting scary again and so fucking dark and pessimistic. I was also in the same bad mental place a year ago to the hour.
The one silver lining is that im religious again that helps counter the suicidal ideation.
Im such a failure loser piece of shit
Anonymous 112383
Drives me insane knowing that my ex is thriving and doubly insane when i remember how pathetic it is to be bitter and envious of someone YOU dumped
Anonymous 112387
i miss the ffacj community on reddit. it was the only place on that site that regularly made fun of the men who fetish phish on reddit's female fashion and beauty communities.
Anonymous 112391
Why are moids so furious about a straight woman turned lesbian and growing fat with her girlfriend? Women don't exist to satisfy your pedo cumbrains’ gaze. Why don't moids leave these women alone larping as female online calling every non anachan woman fat and mind your fucking business, while you don'find her attractive anyway? That's why more and more women are abandoning committing to serious relationships with moids and turning into lesbians nowadays
Anonymous 112394
>>112391This is extremely specific. Haven't ever seen or heard of a moid getting mad about a straight woman "turning into" a fat lesbian. Sounds like some revenge fantasy on your end - like you enjoy the idea of moids getting furious at you for being a fat lesbian. But personally I haven't ever seen that happen (them be furious).
Anonymous 112435
>>112391>>112394someone in your circle has a fat lesbian feitsh and it ragebaits you so now its all the algorithm recommends you now
Anonymous 112448
Incoming vent/rant about a friend of some 4 years. For context, he trooned out relatively recently:
I think I’ve pinned down what differentiates you and me. Yeah, we both had shitty experiences. Though I do think you had it harder than me. I was just homeless for a short period of time. My parents never got that bad. I never had to worry that my dad would shoot me. I didn’t have to deal with the self-loathing that you have, or not the same type of self loathing. You yourself have admitted hating that you were black, likely because of the trauma of growing up with a father like that. I don’t blame you for that, it’s not your fault.
You know, I was genuinely happy for you when you came out. I may be an asshole sometimes and I like to poke fun like anyone else does, but I was genuinely happy for you. You know I was. The whole buy an epilator meme, the me telling you how to paint your nails, the girl stuff that I’d tell you about, the possible side effects of taking estrogen. If you ever said that I never cared you’d be a fucking liar. Because I did.
I was happy for you when you said you were dating B. I was supprtive. I was genuinely fucking happy for you. I was happy because after YEARS of you calling yourself unlovable, you were able to find someone. B seemed nice. I was happy for you. The way things ended was no one’s fault. Which I pointed out, and I also said that maybe you could still be friends. You told me that she was okay with it, but it would be too painful for you. Okay, yeah, that’s understandable. I understand why it’d be hard for you to stay friends with her, knowing that you can’t be together.
The difference between you and I is that I still have hope. I know I have my own tendencies of being a downer, or isolating myself when I’m depressed, or being self destructive with the urges to self harm or starve. Still, I’ve tried to be optimistic. I understand that being depressed sucks, but fucking hell I tried! I tried to be supportive! I literally said that it wasn’t your fault that she broke up with you, because it wasn’t. She said that she wasn’t mentally healthy enough for a relationship, and that’s why she broke up with you. That’s a no fault breakup in my eyes. I understand that it hurt you. I get it, of course it’ll hurt.
But how the fuck do you think I feel?
“I hope you’re okay with the pressure of being the only person I regularly talk to”?
“If I were you I’d just find new friends”?
“The only thing we have in common is bitching at life”?
I get that you probably said those things in the heat of the moment, I get it. I’ve said shit I regret too. But this isn’t the first time you’ve said shit like this. You’ve asked me and J why we still talk to you. You fell out with him back in January. Back then you had your girlfriend. But not anymore, so now it’s just me. Sure, okay. Yeah, I can TOTALLY handle the pressure of being the only person you talk to. Sure, I can TOTALLY handle being the person who basically has to act as suicide watch, which you know I had to put up with back with my dad anyway.
You were saying that you were seriously considering killing yourself over the breakup. As your friend, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just say, “damn that sucks”? And not worry if you really DID kill yourself? I said it myself, I can’t not do anything.
You’re draining. You stressed me out. Sometimes you stress me out. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to add any fuel to the flame. I didn’t want to make you feel worse. I wanted to keep the peace so I just let you type. I didn’t even know what to say. What could I possibly say? I’ve never been in a relationship so I don’t know. What the fuck could I say to make you not push me away, or not have you kill yourself or cut yourself or starve yourself? You realize that’s a massive pressure to put on one person right? Because not only do I have to deal with MY own mental health shit and my family, I have to worry about you too. Knowing that I can’t even really do anything. If you want to destroy your relationships, go ahead. I can’t stop you. I’m miles away. I can’t do anything. As cynical and self destructive that I can be, I think I still have hope. Just a small seed of it. I like to think that everything will work out in the end. I try to be optimistic, I try. Call it me being naive or just a fucking dumbass but it’s how I feel.
I don’t want to be like you.
Anonymous 112451
I can’t enjoy things anymore. Some days I feel sort of normal and happy but any time I’m reminded of how lonely I feel I lose all motivation to do anything but cry. I feel like an alien because my thoughts and feelings about stuff doesn’t align with popular trends, I’m disgusted by porn sick romance/dark romance that everyone in my book or writing circles love, I find most television shows and movies boring as fuck (I prefer old films), I don’t play a lot of video games besides indie or rpgs which somehow no one else around me plays, and yeah, idk, I’m just dead inside. I don’t even have fun making ocs or writing or drawing or anything anymore. I’m isolated online and offline and I don’t know how to be happy.
Anonymous 112461
>>112455
i can’t feel empathy for you because you posted this retarded edit
Anonymous 112465
whenever I get my period I always, ALWAYS have an INTENSE desire to off myself
I hate this shitty body why does it hate itself so much I just want to live normally I'm so tired of this
Anonymous 112467
>>112457That was just me off meds. NTA though
>>112339need pills to function or else I'll go crazier.
Anonymous 112469
>>112465You might have PMDD, aka Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. It sucks and apparently it’s not normal, as I found out last year since I get like that too sometimes
Anonymous 112498
anyone else unsure of what social media will look like in the future? are imageboards and personal blogs dying, or is this just the beginning? im excited to see how vr technology might be used to connect with others.
i've honestly been a bit disenchanted with the internet as of late, i remember being obsessed with internet subcultures when i was younger and now i am more curious about real life experiences. i am sure digital connection is here to stay but i only wonder how it will evolve in conjunction with our real lives.
Anonymous 112504
>>112469Yeah I suspect I do but there is nothing that that knowledge will do to fix this
Im aware its not normal
Anonymous 112505
>>112498They'll be watched over by nsa and over protective people probably
Anonymous 112513
i want to make a longer comment about this but its late where i live. might return later to expand on this
ive noticed this trend where people use weaponized femininity/masculinity to justify hurtful behavior and it really bothers me. like, those shows or movies where theres a mean girl and its played down because she's "hyperfeminine" in behavior. since when did wanting to adhere to gender roles mean being an asshole to others? it just really bothers me because it makes being feminine or masculine this traumatic thing used to harm others, even if you enjoy certain aspects of gender roles. i feel like that's why ive always been afraid to express femininity in my real life. i don't like hurting others and i hate when men use pickmes as pawns to shame women for not conforming to their degenerative desires
Anonymous 112514
>>112505well that already happens. we need to make a second internet.
Anonymous 112516
I feel like I’m gonna get in trouble at work:/ I haven’t had the best couple of months. I got the flu but didn’t call out. Then I got Covid and went in sick the first two days but then called in sick and got a week off. Today I had to text my manager to leave early cause I had to go to the er cause my tooth is abscessed sooo i got out early and called in sick tomororw :/ in my defense the ER literally gave my hydros and antibiotics…
Anonymous 112518
I'm starting to realize that it's really over and honestly it's making me so sad I'm sobbing uncontrollably
Maybe that's just premenstrual syndrome
Anonymous 112524
Today while walking home from uni I saw a little stray cat, very skinny and dirty and starved. All cats are beautiful so I stopped to inspect her. She was very friendly, immediately approaching me as well, meowing softly and even leaning against my feet like cats do.
I saw something hanging off the side of her jaw, like a chunk of something. I couldn't make it out at first, it was stuck by a thread of fur and grime to the side of her face and I was tempted to pull it off of her if that weren't unsanitary, I mean, I don't know what that is, right!? At first I assumed dried mud or maybe a piece of food that was still left on her face but no. Her mouth was dripping with something like pus.
I was so curious so I bent down to see it up close and my fucking god I wish I never did.
She had a chunk of her jaw hanging out of her face. Her fucking face was broken, her jaw bone hanging by her flesh to the side of her face. Worst of all, she was still purring, still leaning against my head as I petted between her ears. I held it together for a minute and walked away, called my mom and cried on the phone for a good minute before revising the scene and going to a nearby store. I bought her two tiny pieces of cheese and when I came back to where I found her, she wasn't there. I still left the cheese out for her.
Oh my god I can't get over the sight of it. Poor baby must be in so much fucking pain but she was so friendly, she was fucking purring it breaks my heart I feel sick I wish I never stopped to look I wish I never looked up from my phone while walking I feel so sick
Anonymous 112526
I think I need to break up with my bf but I will miss him so much. I can talk about almost anything with him and he makes me laugh but he is just too autistic and volatile for me to handle. I can't put up with how serious he is all the time. I want to be with someone who smiles at me when he sees me and who doesn't get mad at me over the slightest things. If we break up I will be inconsolable but as it is I am stressed out of my mind. My friends and my parents have suggested to me that I break up with him. He's insane but I'll miss him so much. And I'm going to his half brothers wedding in three weeks… I have no idea what to do.
Anonymous 112527
>>112524Thank you for trying to help her regardless anon. You're a good samaratin
Anonymous 112528
>lost almost all friendships
>lonely as fuck
>meet with old friend for the first time in years
>realize we're struggling with similar issues even though she's better off than me
>get her number
>have no idea what to text her first
>start fretting
>hahahahaa will she hate me and abandon me can we stay friends I had so much fun with her pls tell me this will last
Anonymous 112544
donuts.jpeg
late night CC post
it's 2 AM where i live and i just ordered and ate cookies from a place known for late night sweets. idk why miners but it's so comfy. i just had a spicy + strawberry jam cookie and it was delicious. there must be a reason why eating sweets so late at night is such a good experience.
i feel like this is basically why halloween became such a widespread holiday. being a night owl and having sweets is something everyone should do every once in a while. it's sad sometimes when i think of the lack of nocturnal culture there is in the US. i've always felt it's important people pull an all nighter and do something like eat sweets and read or play games or hang out with friends. sad that scheduled work and school culture makes that hard to do in adulthood
anyone else feel the same?
Anonymous 112549
>>112526A time will come when you'll have someone you can freely be dumb and relaxed with and you'll wonder why you ever felt the way you do now. Just go. It'll get better. We'll be here to hear you vent through every step of your recovery
Anonymous 112552
my female bestie fully medically trooned out as opposed to just having short hair, a binder and playing the pronoun game
shes six months in and now she has the croaky voice and her acne has taken over with a vengeance, still sad she gave up on being a gnc bi woman with quirky interests and took the easy way out
Anonymous 112554
360_F_691879752_LC…
>>112544Sweets release endorphins and nighttime can be so wonderful and peaceful I can see why late night treats are extra special. I love enjoying my nighttime tea and some cookies or whatever I've got around the house. 2am baklava is heavenly
>>112526Don't go to the wedding, break up with him now.
You're only feeling the intense sadness and like you'll miss him now because you currently have love for him still. Considering you're this miserable with him the love will dissipate pretty quick once you've left him and then you are free to find someone to love who makes you happy and will love you back the same way. You two can be a part of each other's lives instead of you feeling like you've just jumped into your current guy's life with him not stepping a toe in yours and expecting you to fit perfectly in his life how he wants you to.
Also you will be so much happier when you're no longer under the cloud of worrying about his explosive emotions
Anonymous 112562
>>112513Toxic Masculinity and Toxic Femininity has been and will always be a thing
Anonymous 112564
>>112549>>112554Thank you anons. I spoke about it with some friends again today and I think I am going to try and break up with him this week. It's going to be extremely difficult – I'm expecting him to cry and shout and curse himself a lot. But hopefully it'll be for the best. I'm not feeling great about it, but I know that no matter what I do I'll feel bad. Hopefully this will be the lesser of two evils.
Anonymous 112567
>>112564It certainly is. The alternative is to spend your life with him. I know it's hard, but he'll find someone better suited to him just as you will. Will work out for everyone in the end. Just don't let the wedding or any other circumstance sway you, or else there'll always be a reason
Anonymous 112575
>move in with best friend
>he doesn't get along with most people in general so he doesn't date
>I hate most men so I don't date
>we've essentially lived as a sexless married coupled for the last 8 years
>work for the same company and our contracts are ending at the same time
>he suggests we both go back to uni and do our Masters
>both get into the same program
>by week 3 he introduces me to his new "friend"
>she can barely keep her hands off him
>he's slept with women here and there over the years, so I can just ignore the pangs of jealousy
>she starts spending more time at our home
>he's there less and less
>a freak storm damages her rental
>he practically begs me to let her stay for "a few weeks"
>it's now coming up on two months
>get home last afternoon to find her sprawled out on the couch in her underwear
>she does nothing but lay around enjoying the fruits of the home I built with him, and fucks him once a week
The thought of having sex makes me cringe, but honestly I'd grin and bear it if it was with him and meant she'd leave so I could have my home back from this fucking interloper.
Anonymous 112577
i get so pissed off when women attack other women over a moid who isn't even committed to them. it isn't that woman's fault your crush picked her.
even if he is committed to you, unless she literally used force it isn't that woman's fault that your nigel got his cock wet. it's your nigel's decision. but it's easier to attack the woman for 'tempting' him than to admit your husband is stunted and childlike and can't communicate with you when faced with a potential conflict.
also, women killing each other over a man is such a lame scrotoid fantasy.
Anonymous 112580
>>112562well, i think the extra part that bothers me is the people who use those who act toxically feminine or masculine as some model of how other people should behave. if that makes sense. im a bit too drunk to expand but it's just weird and hurtful behavior
Anonymous 112586
Suddenly missing my ex again. I only miss the idea of him though. He's a completely different person now. But still it hurts
Anonymous 112587
>>112586Just let go. Stop checking his social media. Stop sending those "how are you" texts. You will eventually reconnect but you both need to move on.
Anonymous 112589
>>112575Oof anon, sounds like you've got some talking and working some things out to do. That's a shaky foundation you've built your home on.
Anonymous 112591
i've forgotten what all of my old friends voices sound like.
Anonymous 112596
>>110079how far do u live from eachother? i kinda did this when i was like an hour away from my gf, she was in canada and it was a bitch to get through the border.
i dunno i would go for walks or something try to get a job that doesnt blow ass and eventually dump him if u hate him so much
Anonymous 112608
>>112577genuinely this, why attack other women over your own insecurities when its your cumbrained moid you should be mad at
Anonymous 112609
throughout uni i've had no choice to work whilst studying as I ended up getting the minimum loan and no help from my parents
I have this friend who lives in a nice studio who has his parents pay for everything and has never had to work, been living the cushy uni life, I'm now doing a masters through a scholarship and barely got a 2.1 due to having to play the balancing act of uni, work, a social life and at the time, a relationship
my friend is in his third year due to doing a foundation year and he recently told me he'll be lucky if he gets a 2.2 guy is doing a fairly simplistic course too
genuinely fucks me off even if it really shouldn't
Anonymous 112617
my empty hole inside me cannot be filled with boomer gambling games and working 60 hours a week any longer
Anonymous 112620
>>112589I just approached him and told him I feel as though she's taking over the house and paying rent with occasional sex. I was honestly pretty blown away that he agreed with me. I thought they had a pretty passionate relationship, but apparently since she moved in she's revealed her true personality. I thought he liked her in spite of being a demanding princess, but it turns out that's new. They had a blowout fight about 40 minutes ago and she's going to stay with her mother. Interloper dealt with and new boundaries set.
Anonymous 112621
>>112620were they actually dating or was this just a sex friend thing?
also you should probably tell him you have feelings for him at this point ngl, if hes fucking other women its likely more productive to deal with that uncomfortable question before he knocks some girl up or genuinely falls in love with someone else and moves out with her
Anonymous 112637
The irony of female celebrities getting hate being normalized but fictional characters not lmao
Anonymous 112643
Every time Taylor Swift or Olivia Rodrigo curse in a song it feels so unnatural. It gets me wondering about why every song needs swear words now…it adds nothing to the music. Most “deep” lyrics just sounds like “buzzword buzzword pandering-statement fucking buzzword” and I hear ppl go “oh she’s such a storyteller”. And then I wonder why everyone’s taste is so shit. I’m not elitist: I have SHIT taste but the biggest modern female artists all create pretentious dogshit. I’m sure modern moid music is worse but what has happened to the female artists? Is it tik tok? At least 2010’s pop never tried to be deep…
Anonymous 112647
>>112643Olivia's music is so shit I don't understand how she even got a record deal
Anonymous 112652
>>112647She was a Disney kid it's part of the contract
Anonymous 112653
I feel like a fucking failure but I can't let anyone know it, nobody knows how heavy it feels to me when anyone looks at me with condescending eyes even if it's for the dumbest and unimportant things, I can't stop thinking about that look
Anonymous 112655
I have so often been asked by therapists and family members of where I imagine myself being in 5 years. My usual reply is always a simple "I don't know", but the truth is that I see nothing. I literally cannot imagine my life past anywhere but now. I don't even say this in a "I'll be dead in 5 years" way, I just can't imagine any future for myself. A 24 year old me will have probably finished school or at least have a job, but I can't even imagine that realistically happening with how I am. It feels like the only way for me to find out is to take each day as it comes
Anonymous 112656
>>109995Why did I have to land with a neglective annoying dumbfuck mother and an ugly slut deadbeat father with anger issues. Imagine what I could've been.
Anonymous 112657
>>109995My mom yelled at me for an hour. I want to kill myself.
Anonymous 112658
>>112655I'm literally in the exact same place as you. Idk nona it doesn't look too bright for me either and I'm just being realistic. I hope things get better for you
Anonymous 112659
>>112621They were dating but, as I understand it, asking her to move in led her to believe she'd be taken care of as a kept woman. Prior to this I would have said I don't feel anything for him romantically, but now I think that's changed. I'm hoping it's just crossed-wires from the jealousy and envy of someone else muscling in on our intimacy.
Anonymous 112660
shooting to the void toempty my brain .. my bfs mother unexpectedly committed suicide almost 1 year ago now, after going into menopause and it shattered everything in her life & her mental health flipped a switch. life hasn't been the same since, it won't ever be, i don't think ive "bounced back " right, i keep trying my hardest to be a strong person, support him and do the things i know are healthy but it's so hard, it still haunts me, i don't know how to talk to anyone about it and it feels like im expected to just move on, i don't want to be a downer and i feel too guilty to burden people i know with such an uncomfortable subject, i am grateful he's doing ""well "" all considering but i worry about him often, what he went through is beyond a nightmare, i feel selfish for struggling with it because it feels like im co-opting his trauma, but i was there too, i wish she made another choice, i wish she tried staying a little longer, it still feels like it was such a preventable loss, i still can't shake the guilts and what ifs and if it would have been different, she didn't have to leave, we could have helped
im so scared of menopause when i get older now, my track record of mental illness is not on my side, she had no prior issues and genuinely was a strong, healthy and well woman, and it still destroyed her, i hope by the time im older ill know what to do
Anonymous 112666
anyone massively prefer cute over "hot" men?
Anonymous 112680
>>112679then why does the chad or stacy meme exist
everyone is just psyoping normals into believing anyone cares about hot-but-not-cute people. for men and women
Anonymous 112681
>>112680Chad and Stacy are incel memes. Chad is who they wish they were, Stacy is the woman they wish they had.
Anonymous 112683
>>112681cute men >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> gigachad
cute women >>>>>>>>>>>>>> gigastacy
normals just dont like things that actually make them feel something
Anonymous 112723
Boyfriend called me a bitch for the last time. I literally just look at him with disgust. Can't wait until the lease is up and I can move out.
Anonymous 112732
I don’t usually oust my religiosity on teh forumz, but i feel like venting in a kooky fashion
Last year i was in a short distance mutual-affection-disguised-in-platonic-label-turned-long-distance-talking-stage. Distance must have played a role, but my feelings were slowly tapering off once i was coming to the conclusion that we had different mutually unfulfilled needs. Obviously i recognize that i was very very emotionally immature at the time, to the point where i interpreted the pain of my anxious attachment as love. Once i confessed to him that i was beginning to fall in love with him, (he had always made it clear that he loved me and had never felt this way about anyone else), he replied that he wasn’t sure that was such a good idea and that he didn’t feel like he was much deserving of love and that our then situation was not ideal (we didn’t know if we would reunite in the same country etc). Even typing this now i feel rage bubble inside me because i had held him at arm’s length for the longest time from fear that he would hurt me and when i allowed myself to be vulnerable and tell him that i loved him he took that moment away from me. I don’t know why this episode makes me so intensely angry/resentful and bitter because it’s literally nothing, like i know people who’ve been through worse. So why am i so hypersensitive. I can tell a million other anecdotes. The one word i can use to describe what we had is tepid, fucking lukewarm, moderate. I never thought i was the kind of person who could be passionate about someone, i mean i’ve never longed for romance and love, but good god the kind of liaison you build on “logic” and “reason” and “mutual understanding” is so fucking underwhelming and disappointing and i can’t help but feel small and ridiculous for inexplicably longing for passion when i don’t even have the countenance to love with unabashed abandon and always feel the need to police my emotions.
Anyways, there once was q point where i felt so very comfortable with this moid and even aired out my host of insecurities, and around the time where that anecdote occurred, i would pray “if this thing isn’t meant to happen and if there’s no shred of goodness in it, God let me know.” There came a point after that where even if i wanted to feel something, id reach inside and feel nothing towards him. He continued the tug and push dance up until this year, and at one point i had to shoot him down, almost cruelly but not even as cruelly as the monologue i had in my head. I wanted to tell him that he disappointed me more than once and that every time he disappointed me he descended lower in my esteem. But what i said (he wanted to explore if we could still lead to something) was that i was happy he was finally ready to pursue something serious bjt that i wasn’t ready and that things would be different if i still felt anything for him but i didn’t. For some reason i wish i’d packed a little more venom in my words and i don’t know where this evil urge to hurt others is coming from. /vent
