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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Our sex drives don't match Anonymous 111975

My boyfriend likes sex way more than I do and I hate it. I feel so disgusting, it makes me feel like a fucking blowup doll. I don't let him touch me anymore and he's upset about it, I guess it's understandable but I just have no desire for any of it. Anyone have similar experiences?

Anonymous 111977

well this is proof that moids only see women as a sex object. I had an ex who did this and yeah it was obvious he was upset and started acting differently. I was (still am) convinced he was fucking other girls while we were in the relationship because of it. I have no proof but I just knew it.

Anonymous 111986

i don't have much of a sex drive either so i can like half relate. i have trouble with physical arousal and never masturbate, but i like the idea of it and feeling wanted makes me feel happy so it doesn't bother me that my bf loves sex.

Anonymous 111988

Schedule times for him to masturbate so he stops whining.

Anonymous 111989

>>111975
stop taking ssris

Anonymous 112031

Sex is a pretty big part of romantic relationships so if you're both unhappy you should orobably have a talk about your needs. Having a low sex drive is fine but you need a partner who's okay that.

Have you always had a low sex drive Is there anything you find arousing? Stuff you find sexy? Maybe you just don't like penetrative sex?

Anonymous 112038

>>111986
Women are never beating the submissive cocksucker allegations and the stereotypes about sex only serving men must be true

Anonymous 112042

>>112038
That’s just how you choose to see things. I actually enjoy it despite lacking physical arousal, I like the closeness. I also constantly gaslight him and start fights over “misunderstandings” because I feel angry when he is too happy. I’m making him more miserable by the day but he doesn’t leave and thinks he loves me BECAUSE of the sex. Lmao.

Anonymous 112044

>>112042
I'm just going to pretend you're a baiting moid

Anonymous 112046

>>112044
All you do is call women online whores, and you are going to pretend I'm the baiting moid? You just hate women, otherwise you would be hitting the people who deserve scorn. Meanwhile, I am doing a service to women everywhere by hurting men. I might cheat on him not because I actually want to have sex with random moids, just to really rub it in and hurt him more.

Anonymous 112047

>>111975
Maybe you're a dom forced to be a sub

Anonymous 112058

There are a lot of things to consider based off of what you said. Do you think you are asexual or was there something in your life that made you hate sex? Does your boyfriend's treatment of you during sex make you feel objectified? Or would you feel that way no matter how the act was approached? I think there is a significant amount of people who feel the same, I've felt the same in certain relationships, but I've never hated sex overall. I'm sorry for your predicament. It is going to be incredibly difficult to avoid sex while dating a man, especially in our culture. I hope things get better for you and your relationship.

Anonymous 112125

If you dont want to have sex with him, break up with him. He will eventually break up with you anyway. Would you stay in a relationship where your moid never talks to you? You can't just remove one if the basic pillars of a romantic relationship and still call it that. You're just friends

Anonymous 112515

Was random browing old posts and this one relates so much I wondered if anyone had advice for me. I've been thinking pretty much my whole life I'm probably asexual or something. For reference I'm in my 30s, been married over a decade living together, and I really don't want to ruin what we have because of this. I don't seem to view sex like most people, it's not like some moral thing, it's partly because I have some abnormally strong sense of disgust as in hating germs. Also I just seem unable to find people physically attractive and lack any urge to fantasize about nudity or sex. I don't even watch porn because of those reasons. So you can get the idea what kind of weirdo I am. I never cared for penetrative sex, I've done it a bunch anyway because that is what's to be expected in a marriage. I used to be able to tolerate it better but over the years it's gone from feeling like nothing to feeling uncomfortable or painful so I started agreeing to have sex much less often. I've tried explaining my reasons but he doesn't understand. I've felt happier with less sex. And things seem fine other than that. Despite not liking sex I've always been romantic, maybe not too differently from most women, I love cuddling and being close and we share physical affection like that everyday. I love who he is as a person and I enjoy our time together having fun with activities that are not sex. But sex is clearly much more important to him than it is to me. It's been over 2 months now since the last time we had sex and he's started asking for it nearly everyday. I feel guilty like I'm not doing something I'm supposed to, when he is always doing nice things for me and spending so much time together. I also believe he's not the type to cheat but I don't want to push it. Question is, do I keep doing stuff I don't want to do to maintain my relationship, or at any point could it become ok to stay selfish and keep refusing? Maybe a better question, is there any way I can learn to want and like sex like a normal person?

Anonymous 112517

I honestly feel like this "matching sex drive" shit is just a psyop.

I went into my first relationship HYPED for sex because I thought it'd be like flicking the bean but intense and romantic. But sex with moids is just so bad that my """sex drive""" plummeted to zero. When we moved apart I got my healthy libido back since I wasn't constantly turned off by his presence and the idea of involving him in anything sexual, which always made me feel insufficient and dirty and used on many levels.

For years, the only reason I fucked him was because I thought it might keep him from cheating.

Anonymous 112556

>>111975
Are you taking antidepressants and birth control? Both of those kill sex drives. I personally believe they are a deliberate means of population control. But regardless, get off those and see how you feel. Because not wanting sex is not normal and you should be able to meet somewhere in the middle if your hormones are at the proper levels. Moids still have a higher sex drive but it's not that great a gap if your hormones are at normal levels.



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