can't ever move on from relationship Anonymous 112483
i'm not the sort of person who posts on forums in generals but lately ive been going through a phase of life where ive had more questions than ive ever dealt with but no answers.i broke up with my ex recently and ive been in love with her for quite a while before that (3ish years). I've never felt so insanely crushed in my life. I simply have no clue what to do. I plan on killing my self tomorrow but even in the space of time before it I cannot comprehend how to solve the morbidly overwhelming pain I find myself engulfed in. am I delulu? I find that no matter what I do or think I keep reverting back to crying to a pillow and hurting myself everywhere that is left of my body. Perhaps I am too pubescent to handle it but I don't care. Even knowing that I'm going to do it sometime tomorrow afternoon I don't want to do this I don't want to struggle through another minute of this nonsense I absolutely hate the fact that I spent years killing myself over the possibility that there was something that was going on w her that I didn't know about. I've loved her so so so much and she will never ever believe that I did. How can someone spend so much time an energy on the singular emotion of wanting to have someone so bad but never have it ultimately gratified. i know I'm too young to have fallen in love but for the love of god I genuinely didn't control any of it. Beyond a point I can't really do anything to dull the pain further. I haven't eaten in days I keep bleeding I keep drinking and it does not go away because there is nothing in my mind in any state regardless of what I'm doing except her. I just want to go home I hate everything ans I hate the fact that she can go on without me without breaking a sweat crushing on other people's looks and vibes. I hate the fact that all my life I've thought of myself as a unique person because I've been through most of my life alone yet there is no direction I can force my life to run towar-ds but hers. I wish god is dead and there is no afterlife I want to be dead and buried forever so fucking bad
Anonymous 112490
I don't think you're delusional. Seperating from someone is hard. Having a future you imagined with someone disappear is hard. Don't kill yourself, it'll get better.
Anonymous 112641
aMothersDreams.jpg
Mad late, but have you considered maybe being satisifed just being friends with her? If life sucks without her, trying reconciling that you two aren't compatible as lovers. Just because it didn't work out in the romance dept doesn't mean you two shouldn't be friends. Of course your milage may vary when it comes to this option, but maybe its worth looking into. I sincerely hope you haven't offed yourself; you have unlimited amounts of potential even if you dont see it in yourself yet
Anonymous 112674
Can relate to the finding what felt like perfect love to realizing no amount of wishing can ever make our values align. I kept hoping they'd just change their attitude a little for the better and one day see true value in our connection, though this never works when they don't experience the same need.
One must spend a while sitting with the emptiness to know the love we were capable of sharing really had little to do with that other person, as it flows out from within the river of self-love which makes it all possible.
