/feels/ - i am seriously considering suicide

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i am seriously considering suicide Anonymous 07/26/24 (Fri) 11:12:21 PM115460

I am a senior in college doing STEM , yeah real original woman in stem. I love research the lab i am a part of is fun but no matter how much work or time i put in for the post doc its never enough, ive stayed til 2 am in the lab helping her and trying to get my own experiments done. Ive tried my best these past few weeks but have been unable to submit work on time due to her not providing me the data i need to complete it. She has been driving me insane and its made me feel worthless, i keep regretting this field now shes actually draining the love for it out of me and its making me reconsider everything in my life and if ive made a mistake putting too much time and money into this degree. I have not felt happy for months and i actually missed 2 of my periods just from the stress of it all i cant sleep i keep throwing up and im constantly shaking and every muscle in my body feels tight. I cant do this anymore and i dont know what i can do to get out of it, i dont want disappoint anyone and i know this might be me being dramatic or weak but its so hard

Anonymous 07/27/24 (Sat) 04:37:53 AM115461

nona would it be possible to let your teacher know about this if you haven’t already? I would also suggest talking to a student counselor

Anonymous 07/27/24 (Sat) 09:18:17 AM115464

>>115460
It sucks that this supervisor (I'm guessing?) is draining your passion for what you love. You're not imagining it, the stress and work load at the moment is ridiculous. University work is simultaneously the toughest and least appreciated work I've ever done, but it does get better (admittedly I've never done a PhD so you immediately get my sincere reverence). It's not at all dramatic, nor are you being weak; it is hard. What you're doing is hard, and I'm sorry it's making you so stressed.

Anonymous 07/27/24 (Sat) 11:32:40 PM115472

>>115461
To be honest i dont think so, ive only been a part of my lab for 7 months and the post doc has been there for over 2 years. Not much i can do there as i think the pi will not take my side, but thank you.

>>115464
Thank you, i have defintely taken a step back. I love biological research and dont want to lose my love for it anymore so ill defintely be taking time for myself to hopefully get better physically and mentally.