/feels/ - Advice & Venting

i'm in a really shit situation at the minute. i'm 18 years old and i haven't applied to any universities intending to save up money, get a job, figure out what uni course i want to do and move out safely from my shitty muslim family. now i'm unable to do that because despite my mum's approval earlier in the year, she's not letting me take a gap year and now i'm being forced to go to university in september when i have zero clue of what to even do for my future and of course, my plans to move out have been squashed. i'm literally being forced to pick any random course and my mum's reasoning for this is because one, she doesn't want me to laze out the whole year, she thinks gap years are embarrassing, and three because her housing benefits (welfare) will be reduced. i told her i was willing to make up for the deductions as i have a job interview on friday but she's not listening and she's still firm on me going to university. i'm aware i sound whiny as shit but i'm really not ready for university at all. my whole teen years have been tainted by bulimia, depression and OCD and i don't know what the fuck i even want to do in life despite being a high achiever. even if i were to figure what i wanted to do, my mental health is so shit atm going on a gap year would've done wonders for me. if i even start uni my grades will be shit and i was hoping university would be the place where i would be able to free myself from my shitty overbearing mother but yeah, doesn't seem to be the case anymore. it's all this pressure and rushing and control from my mother that's making me feel suffocated and garbage. i've been stressing non stop about this for weeks. i just want to run away from my problems but i know that's a bad idea because i'm broke, currently have no jobs and no friends willing to house me. i don't know what to do anymore. i'm in the UK btw if that's relevant