/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>115552
Why don't you start approaching and hitting on men?

Me too nona, I am normal looking lass. I get validation from the internet and am fairly offputting looking IRL but not repulsive and have never been hit on IRL, never dated not even in middle school. tbf, not really any of the women I know have, or at least regularly do, but it has quite literally never happened to me despite not being repulsive.

>>115553
I have done this quite a few times and been semi-successful in talking to them, however, they seem to think of it as something they can hold above you.

>>>>115552
>>115556
The only reason i could think of is that you look/dress average, and don't stand out? It seems that if men are going to make the risk of cold approaching, someone who is more pretty than average, or has a unique look that catches their attention becomes their target. I'm coming at this concluison from both the perspective of I guess a more "unique" style, and as someone who is attracted to women. My attention is always enraptured by the women who stand out, even if they are not "conventionally" pretty. If you see a bunch of books laid out on a table with simillar covers, except for one, wouldn't you be more likely to pick up the unique looking one? I guess it's a mix of both appearing aproachable (whatever that really means) and catching someone's attention in the first place that makes them want to come up to you. Try a new hairstyle or something, but also dont live off the attention of moids its pathetic.

>>115557
Unfortunately for me I have been dressing gothic for like 5 years (not normal in my area) which means that this should work AND i should get e girl and manic pixie dream girl chasers (bottom of the barrel moids i want nothing to do with but still), i think it might be because i look really disgusted at people all the time

Unironically wear a "I'm single, please hit on me." shirt. Men these days need lots of direction or they'll get too scared.

I only get hit on by other females lol sadly, its weird because online men pursue me, but in real life its only females (im straight)

>>115552
There might be a difference on where you live, from what I've seen online it's more normal for men to approach women casually in the US. What lots of people online don't get is that it doesn't really work the same way in other countries or at least not in European ones. Personally I live in a more rural area in Europe and the only people who hit on me are drunk guys at clubs but it's not really the type of person you want to have in your life and they hit on every other girl there either way. I only really got into guys being serious about wanting to get to know me type of situations when it was me meeting friends of friends, at uni when everyone started to get to know each other and granted one time a guy held the door open for me and we exchanged contacts when we met again. But the typical approaching like moids/movies portrait it online doesn't really happen around here. So don't feel bummed out if it doesn't happen to you. Especially if you don't go to uni the chances are kinda limited.

>>115563
thats a good sign tbh

>>115552
Don't take it personally, guys are no longer as proactive as they used to be

Varies per area/community, casually approaching women/catcalling like you've read about online definitely isn't common everywhere. Also depends on how much you actually put yourself into situations where you can be approached in the first place, of course.

Idk guys will call me hun and sweetheart or just be nice. Like hold open doors and stuff. But I’ve had a handful of guys who were very forward about it. Maybe a one or two who were subtle about it. Maybe guys just aren’t very like forward so their not like off putting

I think I've said it before but my turbo spergery tends to ward men off like I have this great barrier around me, I get harassed from time to time, it happens occasionally but far less than it should, I think some men are legitimately scared of my aura

you have to understand that men only percieve women they think are hot. ugly women don't exist. they don't think about the issues and lives of women they don't find attractive, which is hwy they day that shit. The only women who experience free things for their looks and live on "easy mode" are the 10/10s, who actualy live their lives being harrassed and sexualized at their every movement

>>115552
Don't listen to the moids, nona. "women have life on le ez mode!!" Is no more than a very sad, pathetic cope from moids trying to make themselves feel better and make themselves look like the victim and justify why they have such shitty attitude that makes no one ever want to be near them.
I'm your same age, I've been told a few times that I'm pretty by others in a non-flirting manner yet I've never in my life been approached or hit on by anyone.

It's literal moid cope. A sad way of trying to look like a victim to gather pity points.

>>115600
> I've been told a few times that I'm pretty by others in a non-flirting manner
They were just trying to make you feel better

>>115608
You're missing the context, there was no reason for them to have felt like they needed to make me feel better about anything.
if anything, I'd call myself average.

>>115608
gtfo if you're just here to bring women down

I was in that boat at 19 as well. Not fat or ugly, blonde hair blue eyes. Went to college and had all of one guy nearly 10 years older than me try to make a move on me. Wasn’t till I was 21 that I went out of my way to find a guy off 4chan that was near me location wise and have been together since. It unironically just takes time. As long as you are actively working on yourself and looking for a relationship you should be able to find one.

>>115552
I was the same, then I went to study computer science at 20 and a few nerds actually approached me. It's not like men just compliment random women on the streets, the only time that has happened to me was when I had very brightly coloured hair and lived in a small town, and even then they were just some boomers at the supermarket saying "wow that's your natural colour??? just kidding cool hair" and went on with their lives. Also cashiers regardless of gender kept complimenting my hair for some reason. Though cultural differences are a thing, this is just my experience in Northern Europe.

>>115563
Woah, wish that would happen to me

>>115580
Same i'm too autistic, i love when men get clearly uncomfortable by me, they regret hitting on me after a few days of talking kek

>>115812
Bet you have really cool hair nona