/feels/ - Advice & Venting

What I wanted
>taken on a romantic getaway to the island where I was born
>he kneels in front of me as we watch the sunrise on a windswept cliff
>presents me with a silver engagement band with an inscription bearing his family crest

>have a wedding on a beautiful spring day in his home town
>the reception is held on his family farm in their gigantic home
>the modest service held in the beautiful old church filled with out friends and family
>we say our vows and depart for a destination honeymoon in South America

What I got
>have pregnancy scare
>he jokes about making an honest woman of me
>sees I'm upset about that
>just pitches marriage to me as a hypothetical a couple of times
>laying in bed one night during a storm and there's a blackout
>"Hey…do you want to get…would you want to get married with me? Marry me? Get married? I have a ring, but it's not here. Fuck, I should've waited until I had the ring with me…"
>gets up and drives across the city in a howling thunderstorm to get the ring
>bursts back in ranting about a truck that nearly wiped him off the road
>lays down, soaking wet, and shows me the heirloom gold ring with a ruby
>rambles about its history going back to the 1720's
>finally realises I didn't actually say yes and presents it to me questioningly

>a sandwich press causes a fire in the church kitchen a week from the wedding
>have to have an outdoor wedding, but it's spring so it should be fine
>freak storm starts to appear a couple of hours before the service
>have to literally scream our vows over the wind and thunder
>all the gazebos and canopies we cleared out from all local stores in a frenzy just blow away one by one
>a pile of loose sand at the edge of the field turns into a dustdevil and rains upon everyone
>multiple people are blinded, coughing and spluttering
>he gets through his vows and we all start to run for the cars
>the second we reach the edge of the field, the wind dies down and storm moves on
>the dinner goes off completely without a hitch
>people are still finding pockets and folds in their clothes full of sand and a sand pile is started near the door
>we have to cancel our honeymoon due to the bank viewing buying 11 gazebos as a suspicious transaction
>says he has a fallback place for us to go
>drive a bit away from the city to a fairly nice area filled with lots of nature reserves
>shows me to a house I think is rented
>it's only half furnished
>reveals the house is a gift from his family
>spend our honeymoon cooking unhealthy food for every meal, learning the area, exploring and planning how we'll transform the house

>>116962
You sound deeply unsatisfied with your life.
Are you still with him?

>>116962
jesus.

>>116962
God sent a truck, a storm, and even a sandwich press to try to save you but you didn't listen.

>>116957
I don't really care. I just wanted someone good to want me. Those years are long gone; I should've been forming relationships but I hyper-focused on my studies and career. I'm a prisoner in my own skull at this point, the only question is how long I'm to serve this miserable sentence. The proposal, the wedding… Meh, who cares? All that really matters is whether I love the person I'm marrying, and whether they love me.

>>116982
LMAO

>>116992
Are you black?

>>116971
I don't know how you could possibly get that interpretation from an unfortunate wedding. I'm quite happy.
>>116982
Sounds more like Satan to me. I didn't get my dream wedding, but I did get a belated dream honeymoon in a jungle villa on the coast.

Am I the only nona who isn't into the elaborate showy proposal stuff? I'm probably revealing my anxiety issues here but moids seem to think it is very desirable for a proposal to be completely unexpected and in public, and to elicit a shocked or very emotional reaction from their fiancee. I don't want to be 'shocked' by a proposal or feel pressured to cry after it, I don't want it to be anything more than a normal conversation really. I think I'd feel on the verge of a panic attack if I received a standard American public proposal, I most definitely would not appreciate being followed around by a hidden photographer. I'd also feel pressure to comply with the expected post-proposal stuff like the "I said yes" Instagram post with the ring on the hand.
Why does everything in this country have to be so performative?

>>117078
you are not. I told my partner ahead of time, I do NOT want our proposal to be in public. At most maybe in a park with nobody around. I don't want to feel like I have to perform and have the 'correct' reaction while strangers are watching me.

What do you think of a woman being the proposer?

>>117083
I cringe when I see videos of women kneeling down like that. She's probably the more valuable one, why would she need to be begging a man for marriage? If a woman wants to propose, at least do away with the kneeling. It's embarrassing.

>>117083
I want to be the one who proposes to my bf but not in the “get down on one knee” way.
I was the one who initially talked to him, I was the one who asked him out on our first date, I’ve been the proactive pursuer the whole time, and I wanna keep it consistent I guess.