/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Anonymous 10/03/24 (Thu) 07:36:25 PM117423

>If you are genuinely good person, calm, kind, considerate, respectful, people view you as a doormat
>Kindness is typically about focusing on others, being considerate, and people often call such people doormats
>Slowly realizing that being a nice girl gets me taken advantage of
>The moment I stop making an effort in the friendship or relationship, everything stops

What do? How can I put myself first and stop being selfless for others with hopes that they might be my friend(s) or boyfriend?

Anonymous 10/03/24 (Thu) 08:00:27 PM117424

>>117423
It's entirely possible to be both kind and firm. You can see it in good teachers and good parents, among other people.
>being a nice girl…
Stop right there. Being a genuinely good person does not equal being accommodating and a doormat. It does not even equal being nice because some of the kindest people I know often come off as rude. Set your boundaries. Defend yourself whenever you need to.
>How
You grow up, bit by bit, learning how to be selfless at the right time and ruthless at others. You learn self-control, you reflect. Think a lot, keep improving your mindset, and it will come to you.