Any reason? Anonymous 117469
i'm sorry for posting this here, i've never made a thread before and even though i've been in these website before, i haven't used it in a year or so, but now i have a problem? i guess?
so i have this guy that has been my boyfriend for three months now, after we've been friends for almost 7 years
the thing is that i want to quit my job and move in with him, and he wants the same, i know is stupid as fuck but hear me out
so i've been pretty depress about my current job (well, all of them make me want to die tbh) for months on end (i got it at the end of winter) i constantly vent to him about how i want to just at be home and be free, so yesterday when we were having our weekend together at his house playing video games and talking like always i told him i couldn't take it anymore, because my only friend at work had stopped talking to me and join to another group of friends which made me feel like absolute shit, i told him that i really didn't feel like going to work anymore, and so he thought a little bit and said, "well, why don't you move in with me and quit your job?" i was so surprised but i let him continue.
the points he made were:
-i have a house (their parents rent him a house since they move to another state, he's paying only 1000 dollars for WHOLE house with 3 bedrooms and a bathroom! i got a little mad when he told me ngl, lucky bastard)
-i have money and a job (he does have a job as a programmer or something like that, he works from home, and he told me he gets around 5400 dollars per month, he got an internship after college and got the job just like that)
-we are both adults (we are both 23)
he also told me that of course we had to plan it a bunch, but at this point i was buying pretty hard, and so we started planning right away
we'll do the following:
-talk to both of our parents about this lying to them and say that we've been dating for a year instead of three months and that i'm not quitting my job since i don't think they'll get that someone just doesn't want to work
-i'll write my two weeks notice and quit my fucking job finally
-we'll buy all the stuff we need for our life together, like a double mattress for example
So after all this i need to ask, is there any reason why i shouldn't do this? is there something that i'm not seeing or that i forgot that could destroy my life? i really need to know, please help
also i want to point out that he is not a bad person at all, when i told him i'll be like a housewife and cook and clean and help around the house as much as possible, he said that it was ok, that i didn't need to do anything that extreme, that he works from home and that he didn't want to use me (he gets really stress out when i do stuff for him for some reason, is kind of cute tho), that he wanted to live like a normal couple and that most importantly he wanted me to rest. i've known him for so long i don't feel scared at all, even as a couple we are just like friends, friends that have a bunch of sex, but friends. he is also surprisingly clean with himself and everything else around him, and keeps his house really nice and clean even though he lives alone or i might say, our house~ fuck i'm getting way too excited.
Anonymous 117470
>>117469> the points he made were: -i have a house (their parents rent him a house since they move to another state, he's paying only 1000 dollars for WHOLE houseThen it is not rly his house… I wouldn’t quit the job just yet UNLESS you have met his parents. If they don’t like you, they will hold that over your head.
Anonymous 117471
>>117470I had, we've been friends for so long, they know me good and my parent too, i've had many dinners at his house his parents are really easy going and have always said we should get together, they are so weird and open about everything i love it lmao
Anonymous 117472
Do not quit your job until he has a legal obligation to you through marriage. Three months is too early. He could easily set you up for failure and you would not even have the courts on your side.
Do not do this, nona.
Anonymous 117473
>>117472We talked about this too, he said that he would still give me money until i get a job if we break up, but i'm with you in that 3 months is too early, but again i've known his for so long, ahhh idk what to do, maybe i'll tell him to wait a little longer, 9 more months maybe? to be a year, But i really don't want to work anymore uhhhhh, well i guess i have to think about it more, thanks for your answer nona
Anonymous 117481
>>117469I would suggest co-inhabiting together for 6 months to a year before you quit your job. Talk is cheap and you should always be prepared to catch yourself if he fails you.
Anonymous 117654
I hope you choose whatever is best for you, Nona.
Personally, I believe that 3 months is too short - even if you've been friends with him for 7 years. I assume you deeply trust this person and feel like you know them, but some people can act completely different in romantic relationships and it may take a few months or years for this aspect of their personalities to slip out.
If you quit your job, you will be financially reliant on your partner. The gap in your resume can negatively impact your career if you end up needing to work again in the future.
When you choose to rely on someone to such an extent, you must ask yourself uncomfortable questions such as:
-How will I be able to support myself if our relationship ends?
- If my partner becomes abusive in the future, will I be able to leave?
-What if my partner bars me from making purchases that I find important?
-What if my partner loses their job or has poor spending habits?
No one wants to believe that their relationships will turn sour or end but it's important to acknowledge that it might in the future.
Hopefully none of these things happen to you and everything ends well, Nona. Good luck!
Anonymous 117947
>>117469The longer you stay out of the job market, harder it is to get back in. Like how another nona said, he has no obligation to you until it's marriage and if things were to go up in flames in the future, you're gonna be the one with higher consequences cus he kept his job but you didn't. Weigh your pros and cons logically before u make a decision.
