>>117727I got news for you I'm not either of those things I'm 38. That's why I responded. I not ugly but I'm not skinny. I know for a fact if I ever had to live with a man I would go insane.
Solitude is SO lush and rich. I never get such rich joy around people as I do when I'm alone. I never got anything deep from human contact either tbh. Well I do with my mother but thats expected.
All of my life people just felt like a massively draining force. You sound kind of in denial of that? I got headache and nausea from moids, and demands from people that I never wanted to fulfill. They all struggle for control over you and how they're going to beat you at some game or fry your existence.
So Idk I just don't relate. All worries and stress melt away for me when i dont have to be around anybody. My life is so simple with no kids and no obligations to a partner. I'm really glad i didn't do anything stupid and end up with a kid.
To me it sounds like you're holding out for a hope or image of something you believe SHOULD be. I'm just surprised you've kept at it this long given the results.