/feels/ - Advice & Venting

As an introvert, I've realized that the exhaustion I feel with high energy people has more to do with me thinking I have to perform and match their energy or as you said, entertain them, than it has to do with the other person's energy. Stop thinking that you have to entertain them. Stop putting pressure on yourself to match their energy. Because it's exactly the pressure that you put on yourself that exhausts you. I bet she just want to talk to you because she is interested in you. So don't feel pressured to play a role. Just do you and respond how you would like to, and not how you think the other person wants you to react. You got this!

My only friend irl is a girl who's like that. I don't like to talk much so I like that she does most of the talking.

>>117865
You DO have to match people's energy though. You have to do it everywhere all throughout the day and if you don't people will start to sour towards you. It may be invisible and gradual but people notice things like that and it takes a toll

Take vit D, iron, vit C, B12, if you lack any of it

>>117869
maybe op should try rehearse a script of what to say and build her energy (exercise, full nutrition) so she isnt drained so fast if thats the case then. people use to exhaust me until i learnt to be comfortable around others (recognising how much they can hurt me, how much it matters if things go wrong, steps i will take if it everything blows up in my face) and rely on a system of scripts to do the talking for me. i never thought i would be the type to be relaxed when going to bars, parties, events, but it gets easier when you know what people are about (and what to do with this). it turns out the patterns in which people talk arent mysterious and unpredictable. i hope this advice helps you feel less drained op

>>117882
Erm you're basically admitting your whole social life is an effing script ? I can guarantee you people can tell. Whats the point? Nothing that happens in most social events is very memorable or meaningful. Its all mostly a chore unless you're with a person you really like.

But im sure as hell not going to talk to anybody long who's so bad at interaction they base socializing off a script. I don't want to interact with ANY group of people that dumb and tedious.

Find a few people who don't suck and hang around them. Anon's advice to use a script is so terrible kek.
It just makes you sound incapable of being real

>>117897
NTA but she could have just meant that shes on "autopilot mode" with normies or people shes forced to socialize with, people she doesnt how to converse with regardless and not her closest.
having a mental script for basic, simple convos with strangers and acquaintances can be better than freezing up or stuttering/being overly awkward if you want to avoid the humiliation that comes with a normie judging you for being strange or not meeting their standards in terms of social skills

>>117851
You might be projecting your own thoughts and feelings onto her.

From what I gather, it doesn't bother you that she talks a lot, what bothers you is that you don't talk a lot, but you think she wants you to talk more. If you're like me, you probably like the idea of not having to talk much when you hang out with someone.

There's nothing wrong with having a more vulnerable discussion where you could just say: "I notice we complement each other - you're a lot more high energy which is fun to be around, and I assume I'm something of a calming presence for you? How would you explain our dynamic?" If that's too much then you could discuss MBTI to see what her type is (or do the test) and then you can talk about what aspects of your type most resonate with each of you.

My biggest problem is that I'm not too curious about people so I don't really care much to pry.