/feels/ - Advice & Venting

There’s this guy at my university who I instantly was attracted to when I met him, I approached him, we exchanged numbers and texted a few times. I wanted to be in a relationship with him because I rarely find guys who I feel intense physical attraction for He told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship right now, but I figured I could just wait it out. I sent him a really long text explaining how physically attracted I was to him, not saying I wanted a relationship but that I’d be willing to wait, he didn’t respond so I deleted his number and didn’t text him again. I knew he went to the gym so I kept on showing up at the gym just to see him. I would just make eye contact on my way in, then run on the treadmill a bit, not approaching. Today I decided to go up to him and say something, and he told me to stop bothering him. I said ok and left the gym immediately. I guess I won’t be going to the gym again. It’s frustrating how none of the guys I like ever like me back. I was actually holding back how obsessive I could be. I guess my gushy text expressing how I liked his physical appearance was a bit overboard. I wish I was a normal person and not a socially reclusive broken retard. I want to kill myself so bad