/feels/ - Advice & Venting

to an extent its just a normal part of being a human. thats something everyone does life is not just about doing what you like. also your actions dictate who you are there is no "true self" no one knows who they are because the only thing that doesnt change is change itself. seems you expect too much from yourself. go to church find God and youll find inner peace.

>>118904
Do you consider yourself “people?”
Why not try to please yourself first?

>>118904
i used to be kind of like this.
i guess it was rational based on my belief system and i had to adjust my belief system rather than try to behave in a different manner without getting at the reasons for it, specifically i had this idea that i was "behind" mentally or emotionally and other people knew better than me about how a person should be.
i guess i fixed it by meeting a couple of people who were similar to me and realizing that there was nothing wrong with me i am just different and that is okay. so just get lucky and meet those people.
its kind of hard to articulate my thoughts on it since my brain dont work good hence my having this problem in the first place so im not sure if this makes any sense. it makes sense in my head.

Hello this is OP, I've got some issues irl that needed to be settle up, I'm gonna apologize for my limited English and I should inform that I'm still new around here.
>>118908
Im considering looking for a therapy support group, but probably not church or religion related since I got many bad experiences with religious people before. I appreciate your answer thought.
>>118909
Honestly and shortly no. Probably it's because certain near death experience I survived when I was a kid, I was at a water park and the people that were taking care of me (teachers since it was a final year school trip) they doubt it at first and I almost couldn't make it. I don't remember being held or comforted after such thing even so, that scarred me.
>>118921
> i had this idea that i was "behind" mentally or emotionally and other people knew better than me about how a person should be.
I'm in this place, nona. I relapsed many times in depression so I rely in my inner circle to takin important decisions or ask for an advice. I think I can count with my own fingers how many times I made stuff without relying or asking others if the thing I choose is the correct choice.

This is something I have also been working on.
When people say no or give you a neutral answer, does all the stuff that you get anxious about happen? Do you cause a scene? No.
Most sane people will not take a no or you saying your opinion or giving input as something to make a scene over, or dislike you for it. Keep in mind, the people who like people pleasing like low self esteem women for the wrong reasons and like doormats. Those are not the kind of people that should be pleased! Being assertive and honest is not obnoxious or rude. You can still be kind and pleasant and sweet and polite while having boundaries and stating your opinions and giving input and being honest!