sorry i just want to vent Anonymous 121576
i don't know what's happening to me lately, i have been feeling way more lonely than usual, normally, i'm a lonely person, i like to be in my room doing my own thing, i normally sit alone in lunch at uni, i have a very few friends, its normal to be alone for me, but lately i have been feeling a void growing in the pit of my stomach, its eating me from the inside out and i can't do anything about it, or i feel like so, have yall ever heard the song 'race' by alex g? that's how the pit of my heart sounds. Im having 2 weeks of vacation, so i'm in my house all day, i'm not doing much, just assignments from uni, playing LoL, BS1, sims4, eating, bathing, sometimes i call my online friends on discord and we play together, but most of the day, im just… there…
I'm sitting in my bed… doom scrolling… waking up late…
I do talk to people of my family, i live with my grandparents and my big sis, my sister works all day and my grandparents work too in their small business, so the house is always alone. I'm the only one here all day, and i don't have much to do, i just clean, eat, play.
I feel like my life is in pause, like i'm missing something, like i need to be somewhere important and i'm really late. Video Games don't fill the void anymore, every time im playing it feels so repetitive, i don't get distracted of my thoughts by playing, i can't write down how i feel because i don't actually feel anything anymore, im just so tired, but i can't sleep, i don't even sleep anymore, im just existing in slow mo, every time i try to relapse on SH i just can't, i have grown a coward, i just feel so sad and anxious because i feel like this is going to be how i'm going to live for the rest of my life and i can't do anything, i don't feel normal, i see other girls in my class, same age as me (17) looking so healthy, so pretty, so smart (cuz i'm also failing all of my classes), i just look at them and i get so upset, they look so mature and beautiful, they already look like young women, im stuck looking like a pre teenager due to my ED, i want to be like them, surrounded by a lot of friends, pretty, mature, smart, funny, i bet they never feel alone.
i want to stop feeling alone, i want to be normal like everyone else, i just feel like im fragile, but not like glass, like a bomb that could explode any second.
you don't need to give me advice if you don't have any, i just wanted to feel heard, and here i always find sisters that feel the same as me and i feel so safe.
Anonymous 121577
>>121576I don’t mean to be dismissive, but 17 is too young to be depressed. You have so much youth and potential. Even if you failed college and accomplished nothing with your life for half a decade, you’d still have plenty of time. If you are feeling alone, that just means your mind is telling your Ito make a better effort to make friends. Try to join other tables, even if they don’t work out. Say hi to people in your classes. Talk to cute moids your age. Don’t end up like me. Choose happiness. If you are happy, you’ll do better in school and feel prettier. Please don’t end up like me.
Anonymous 121590
>>121577>I don’t mean to be dismissive, but 17 is too young to be depressedClearly not her but it doesn't work like this lol, I got into a severe depressive rut when I was 14-15 years old and tried to kms several times, felt like complete and absolute shit for two years straight and it was the worst I've ever felt.
The reason I felt like that was not the same one as OP but even so I can empathize with her because I've had similar thoughts as someone that's never been particularly good socially with others, so I completely get it and yes it feels fucking awful.
>>121576OP you have a place that facilitates you meeting others, so take advantage of it. Because once you're out of Uni it's gonna be almost impossible to find a way to meet people organically that's not through joining a course or some other type of interest group, which may not be entirely possible depending on how things are looking for you after Uni or where you live. And that's when shit actually starts feeling grim.
If you see anyone that catches your attention, go up to them and try to start a conversation based off of that or if you know you share a common interest. You'll know if the person is willing to humor you and give you the time of the day, and if they do then keep at it. You're definitely not too late, I met my best friend when I was your age and that was only because I happened to join the right course at the school they were in, when I wasn't really expecting to be talking to anyone. Take advantage of Uni and all the people you're surrounded by, there's no better place to meet people than it.
Anonymous 121605
>>121590helo im OP, thank you for your advice dear nona, i really appreciate it. i will try and talk to people, i fear it will be hard due to my anxiety, because im really self aware of how i act and i feel like im really weird and off putting in a way, but i will make an effort to try and find someone with the same interests as me. . . again thank you for your advice i feel really understood and heard now. Thank you thank you god bless you ♡♡♡
and about
>>121577 reply, it's never too young to be depressed, i myself was really depressed and suicidal at a very young age (10 - 14) due to my mothers abandonment and abuse, my grandma got me into therapy around 15 and thank god now im better even though i didn't liked going to therapy at that time, and thank you very much for your advice dear nona, i will try and make more friends and talk to cute moids, even though im a really shy girl . . . maybe if im feeling brave even try and go to a party so i can meet more people~~ but time will tell, and also it sounds like youre having a hard time, rest and eat well, things will get better, if youre feeling lonely we can be online friends ! . . . \(
. )/
May god bless all nonas that answered this vent post.
♡♡♡
Anonymous 121719
OP, are you currently prescribed antidepressants? If not, and assuming you have access to a doctor, please ask about them. Any doctor can prescribe them, including your primary care physician if you have one.
I was exactly like you when I was your age and it was legitimately the only thing that helped me. Mostly, I found that they overcame the depression energy block and gave me the actual emotional bandwidth to interact with society.
Anonymous 121722
>>121576Try going to dance classes like swing or salsa. You don't need to go with a partner you can go by yourself. People there are usually very friendly. Once you practice you can go to other events.
