/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Anonymous 05/04/25 (Sun) 11:44:20 PM121881

Is it justifiable to break up when you dont feel the spark anymore. this my first relationship with my bf and its the same for his we have been together for 8 months now and i just dont feel like it anymore and im too afraid that i might hurt him when i tell him i dont kinda want to be with him anymore. It was fun for the first 2 months i felt this warm feeling in my stomach but after that it felt mundane and repetitive and not as exciting anymore im not sure if i lost my love for him but i didnt even gave a defition of what love is to him but what he said to me is that he also lost the spark to but every single day he keeps choosing me because he said that love is a choice not a feeling and even through ups and downs no matter what he said that he will always choose me but im not too sure i agree with that since i just dont have that feel anymore to him also he didnt turn out to be the guy who i thought who he was which disappointed me ideally. During our first date i made scenarios in mind my on who hes going to be and he wasnt that guy, i mean hes not a bad person i like and love him but i just dont feel like it anymore, he didnt do anything wrong to me he didnt put his hands or verbally hurt me its just that i think i lost my love for him. My co workers told me that its not his his business if i leave him since its my life and my decision and i deserve that someone who makes me happy

Anonymous 05/05/25 (Mon) 12:59:36 AM121883

>>121881
nobody "deserves" anything, that's toxic positivity crap. but if you're already unhappy after 8 months it's not gonna last so you might as well save both of you the wasted time and break up now. the beginning of a relationship is the best part and after that there's a slow decline. if the decline is already bothering you after 8 months imagine how bad you will feel in 5 years. big mistake to try to stick it out. after 8 months it's not full on butterflies all the time but there IS still supposed to be a spark.

so follow your gut feeling and break up. just don't sugarcoat or justify your decision with any magical thinking bullshit about "deserving" this and that. you know the relationship isn't going to last and you want something that will last long-term. that's a good enough reason.