how do I begin to heal Anonymous 121912
I'm sure the subject I'm using has been posted here at least a hundred times but I believe this a slightly more unique situation.
For context, I met this guy online. Keep in mind he's much older than I am. (I have a preference…) We met online and chatted for about 6-7 months. During that time, we discussed me running away with him. Sure, I'm ready for a shortcut to escape my issues. I'll take whatever opportunity you give me, Mr. Sir. December of 2024 is when that internet idea came to real life. I ran away with him. I smashed my devices and left no trace of where I was last or where I was headed. No note. No verbal confession of either. I left with my last words being "I'll see you guys later."
I went on the run with him. I knew he was being looked for by the feds but didn't think much of it considering he convinced me it was purely over some discord scandals that happened years prior to us meeting. Sure, it struck me as odd but it sure as hell wasn't my first time running into somebody in the mix with the law for the wrong reasons.
We fled together. He did not tell me where we were going initially while we were online.. understandable lol. I loved this man dearly. We had our hiccups but, we always managed to overcome them.. When we got in person I didn't expect abuse as he assured me that he wasn't that way whatsoever. I was wrong to convince myself he wouldn't do that to me as he did. I was gone for just a month and a half but it felt like years. I ran to escape the exact things he would do to me. Eventually.. the case went national as they figured out I was no longer in the state. The fbi got involved and we were found after someone gave them a key lead.. his "identity."
We were detained at different times. I'm not sure who was first. I was taken by undercover law enforcement from the place we were staying and questioned about if we had any "activity" together by male officers after requesting female law enforcement.. I guess that's the least upsetting part of the whole thing..
I was returned home after questioning and holding. I still lied for him and covered his ass. I was not giving up the truth for anything. Not long after I returned back to my state, the lead detective on my case contacted my family and requested to see me.. nobody would tell me what for. So, I began to worry and get ahead of myself. A very long and excruciating hour and a half later, they arrived and I was met with the question of his identity. I told them what they already knew and they told me I had been lied to. They told me his real identity and that he was wanted by law enforcement for almost 7 years after murdering his ex girlfriend and fleeing while out on bond.
I guess telling this story makes me feel better in some way.. but, then again. I don't know how to heal from this whole thing. I need suggestions
Anonymous 121913
>>121912im so sorry that happened to you nona
i uh……………. have no words. im speechless.
but
>much older than you>the feds were looking for him>didnt inform you of where you were goingyeah these are some extremely huge red flags you never should have ignored
>how to healseek therapy. talk to friends and family. but most of all, promise yourself to never make the same mistake of ignoring red flags in men. you WILL heal in time, everyone does. and hes just some worthless faggot who deserves to rot in jail. he would just have dragged you down. i feel bad for his ex. what a disgusting creature
Anonymous 121916
>>121913Really, I wish I had never ignores those signs. I was very clearly being decieved and allowed myself to fall into it. I loved and still love him and I do not know how to make these feelings go away. I guess the first part in healing is making these feelings go away. But I don't know how.
Anonymous 121918
>>121916this sounds recent so it might take you months to fully process. try to occupy your time with things you enjoy doing like your hobbies or interests. i know this is very cliche advice but even just going to the gym 3 times a week can be enough to get you on the right track of trying to get your mind off him. try to seek out support groups of domestic violence. try to tell yourself that you were never truly in love with him, because like you said he was deceiving you. you were in love with a fake, made-up version of him. the true him is an abusive murderer, basically the lowest of the low. he succeeded in deceiving you because he found you in a vulnerable state of mind and manipulated you.
its easier said than done when youre experiencing something thats as emotionally taxing as this, but you just cant give up.
