/feels/ - Advice & Venting

get another better guy

>>122025
Nona no

>>122025
for me it took time. lots of time, everyday i woke up mourning him and crying over the fact i'd never see him again, but gradually, you get better at handling these emotions. you slowly lose your attachment towards him, and it’s not that the memories fully disappear- they just stop hurting as much. you’ll remember the giggles, the warmth, even the inside jokes, but they’ll feel distant. like a song you used to love but don’t play anymore.
every time you want to reach out, remind yourself why you left. people don’t change overnight. the softness you miss was real, but so was the harm. and missing someone doesn’t mean they’re meant to return. it just means you’re healing.
let yourself grieve, but protect your peace. you deserve to move forward, even if it’s slow.
i promise you things will get easier with time

>>122202
Not op
i should have never left my bf in the first place, i did check out of the relationship for a long time and i self reflected on it and my reason why due to boredom and missing the spark feeling, i thought relationships were all about the firework and spark but i never met anyone like him anymore he was the only guy who told me that he chooses me everyday even when things get hard. This was a month ago and i told him to leave me alone out of my own anger during our last phonecall, recently he sent me a mail that mentioned that he can't live in area at all since every time he drives it reminds him of our memories so he literally enlisted himself in the navy. I just feel so bad, i made a mistake and i want him so bad but i just have a feeling that if i break the silence and reach out he may not want me anymore

>>122205
sorry for the yapfest
well, first, you'd need to ask yourself if your boredom is going to become a problem again. i don't know you or your bf or the relationship you've had together, so this is something you need to mainly figure out yourself. i cannot stress this enough, figure out your own shit before getting back or into a relationship.
second, it's obvious he still cares IN some way (whatever it may be) and probably still likes you, hell he's even enlisting in the fuckin navy because he's probably broken up over you. don't be afraid to break the silence, believe me haha. i've missed my chance when i could've opened up and talked to my boyfriend after our break up, and genuinely from the bottom of my heart i regret it deeply. i could've mended our relationship, got closure or even said a goodbye.

i can't promise you anything, but please talk to him before he leaves, genuinely. you may not get the outcome you want, but atleast you'll both have closure, and potentially in the future can rekindle that spark.
and, if it helps; open up to him about your feelings if you'd like, tell him what really happened and why you lashed out, just be honest, okay?

talk like the other nona said with that moid

but do not expect anything from a man again

learn a strategy game and try to develop better long term thinking skills.

"what if I say x? he probably will say Y."

Think like an engineer. Think about the worst consequence and prepare for the worst.

If the best happens, it just happens. You prepared yourself for it and conquered, you lost battles but won a war.