/feels/ - how to stop being mentally ill in my relationship?

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how to stop being mentally ill in my relationship? Anonymous 06/19/25 (Thu) 05:23:31 AM122806

it's been some time since i've started officially dating a girl that i've been friends with for a while. we're pretty close, and i love her more than i can really put into words. but, i've been struggling with anxiety in our relationship. if she doesn't text me back within an hour, i start to get anxious and worry that she's mad at me. even if she has a totally reasonable excuse that she's told me beforehand, i still worry. do to something that happened between us in the past, i have a really serious fear of her leaving me.

how do i stop myself from getting anxious and worked up when she doesn't text me back? something i do now is deleting instagram, so i don't have to worry about getting a notification that she's texted me. it helps a bit, but i still can't help but worry.

Anonymous 06/19/25 (Thu) 07:46:56 AM122809

>>122806
sounds to me that "stopping being mentally ill" over it is just putting a fig leaf over the real problem. do you have low self esteem, nobody else other than her who can tend to your needs etc

>do to something that happened between us in the past, i have a really serious fear of her leaving me.
what is it?

Anonymous 06/19/25 (Thu) 06:40:49 PM122819

>>122809
i mean, i would probably argue that i have low self esteem lol. but she makes me feel loved, which is why i love her so much. i have other friends that i like, but not in the same way i like her.

>what is it?
i’d rather not say, but she didn’t cheat on me or anything. it’s not really something i hold against her either.

Anonymous 06/19/25 (Thu) 09:05:58 PM122822

>>122819
idk how to put it but I think this feeling signals a legitimate concern that she doesn't make you feel safe

doesn't mean she's a bad gf but maybe you don't feel you can rely on her to take your side
or not to violate her boundaries
just minute things that are important but you forget about eventually while your subconscious still buzzes about it

Anonymous 06/20/25 (Fri) 03:05:54 AM122830

>>122806

Accept it nona. Accept the fact you lost her already.

Woman up.

You are not a little girl anymore, where you can go and cry in your mom's arms.

You have to act like a real woman now, a big woman that knows people are all different.

You are mentally ill, because your illness is mental, it can be treated.

Your anxiety can be cured.

You have to accept it.

"I know Jessica will leave me, I just accept it .I will enjoy our relationship as much as I can." do what you have to do as well.

if she does not text you, perhaps it's bceause she's sleeping, busy, etc. As well as other stuff, if anything happens always go for a "anyways, it could have happened, I have better things to do."