>>122958>we're homeschoolers and we're not allowed to leave our home as a 'house rule'Is this a cult disguised as homeschooling? Not being allowed to leave a place is unlawful confinement, false imprisonment, or something similar, Idk Im not a lawyer. Like it or not, your sister is right, about that anyway, if someone is not "allowed" to leave their home, it is abuse. Abuse is not always physical or sexual, but includes verbal, psychological, financial abuse, anything to break down a person or condition them in some way to easily control them. Shes 19, is not a prisoner, and while its good that you helped prevent her from possibly being trafficked, she has every right to leave a place if she wants. How did you know she almost got trafficked? Were there any identifiable group names or anything?
Similar to an accident, everyone can witness the same event, but often tell it or remember it differently. Maybe that explains why you dont see a certain event as abusive, but she does. A lot of abuse victims are invalidated, gaslit, dismissed, when they try to call out or make sense of what happened to/around them. A lot of people dont get what it feels like, until a similar situation happens to them. Its a coping mechanism, like, this loved one isnt abusive, because that would mean other ugly truths that would have to be faced, too. Or a cover for other abusive behaviors done by the dismissives. Is your sister the black sheep of the family? Maybe you dont mean to be that way, but your writing about her makes it sound like she is often invalidated when she expresses how she really feels.
If whoever influencing your sister encourages her to permanently mutilate herself, that might lead to suicide, due to regret or disappointment that it didnt fix whatever she seeks to fix ie self worth, as some others have done. But banning a behavior might entice someone to do it more, so you want to plant seeds of doubt. Have you asked why she thinks she wants to be a male? Have you explained to her that sex chromosomes can never change? That it is okay to be a woman? What are the side effects of hormonal body altering drugs, or surgeries, and what will she do if she experiences said side effects? Or ask her to at least wait a while before making a permanent decision, and by then she hopefully wont go that route. Logical, nonjudgmental, and unbiased questions like that might get her to consider a healthier path. Dont ask her this, ask yourself, do males get treated better in the family, and if so, maybe she seeks validation and love that way? Not sure if this applies to this case, but some women who were sexually abused tie their sex to their abuse, so they want to escape their body by mutilating their body/taking body altering drugs. You could find before/after pics of whatever surgeries she thinks she wants, gone wrong, to give her a sense of reality. Also is there someone grooming her to think this way?
If you rightfully tie disgust or disdain with maleness, that might wake her up into realizing that no woman should ever want to be one of those disgusting, filthy, parasitical, wastes of space that constitute way too many of the XY-chromosomed. You could find stats demonstrating how the male sex is inferior, the vast majority of crimes are committed by men, ie bestiality, human trafficking, forever chemicals, war crimes, etc. Point and laugh at videos of men having testerical meltdowns to the point they cant even drive without being aggressive, to assuage their ego if someone passes them, ye claim to be the logical and unemotional sex, and compare that to womens safe driving, as an example. Yes there are women who do wrong too, and rare men who do something positive, but its a fact that XYs contribute to the vast majority of the worlds problems.
I think your sister is just trying to make sense of her experiences. Her views could or could not change at some point in the future. So as much as you might disagree with her, please listen to her concerns with patience, and nonjudgmental openmindedness. It sounds like she needs someone like that, who she can trust. Maybe thats why she turned to reddit, and almost ran away.
Not sure, but it doesnt sound like a good idea to tell mom about this. If your sister is reliant on her for food and shelter or even just emotional support, shes in a very vulnerable position in this power dynamic, esp if she is not "allowed" to leave. If you did, she will rightfully never trust you again, and it will irreparably damage your relationship. If you go the mental illness route, what will that do? She will likely be forcibly kidnapped into a probably abusive institute, separated from everyone and everything she ever knew, confined, medicated against her will with who knows what side effects, and still never trust you again. Will that help, or worsen, any possible mental illness? Theres a reason they used to do this to political dissenters in the USSR, as a form of torture. She doesnt deserve that for falling for a harmful trend of bodily mutilation. Some places might indulge her delusion, and give her meds/surgery to become like an XY, rendering all that trauma and betrayal as ineffective against preventing her from bodily mutilation.
This is an outsiders perspective, but it sounds like your sister is hurting, and she needs empathy, care, and love. Youre so lucky to have a sister. Some people only get moid siblings who hate having a sister, trashed her crib when she was born, because he only wanted a brother, so count your blessings haha.
Please teach your sister about stranger danger, red flags of men or anyone, online or offline. What does coercion or controlling behavior sound or look like, deescalation, how to get away, etc. Martial arts is always good to learn too.
Rather than drastically running away and risking trafficking, maybe its best to focus on building long term independence, ie income or career. Even volunteering to have a social network. If your sister went to school for a career path, she could live on campus. Maybe you both could live with friends or trusted family members. Or you could both save up money and live elsewhere together as roommates? Idk just brainstorming.
