/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I mean you’ve checked his texts and he hasn’t cheated, I think you’re in the clear.
Personally I think you’re just not used to being loved and now that you have it you're very skeptical and think there’s a catch because you’ve been Pavlov dogged into being mistrustful of men (which is fair enough, they can be assholes)

I’d say to treasure this relationship and hold onto it as tightly as possible, because what you have, plenty of nonas here would kill to have.

He's suspiciously tolerant to your cringe paranoid bullshit, something doesn't seem right. Its like he's intentionally ignoring the red flags, no one is that desperate.

Nona if you’re so suspicious about the necklace why don’t you just ask him where he got it? You can also frame it as a cute conversation starter, so you suspicions don’t get exposed.

curb your control freakness
my bf used to check my phone and then do a fucking letsplay youtube commentary on my dms out loud and it was so fucking weird and annoying.

>>124190
Couples really give each other their passwords? Crazy

i love cc cause i always find out there’s girls just as crazy as me in this world

>>124192
This. He's damaged. Break up with him.

>>124190
Dump him.

>>124191 you maybe right, I went to his apartment to freak out but he made food for the both of us my heart melted, we even cuddled
>>124192 I don't think he is tolerant. I just hide very well when I freak out and also I go behind his back to check his phone, but there is something wrong with him I just don't know what.
>>124193 I managed to sneak it in the conversation and he gave such a non answer, he's direct quote was "bought it at a family trip years ago" I didn't want to pry just so that I don't freak him out

>>124197 Be happy Nona get a partner or cats. I swear it will be worth it
>>124198 you get me :>
>>124202 No, he is sweet for now..

>>124204
>>124190
Do you have these types of fears or paranoia in other aspects of your life? It might be worth seeking treatment for these types of things.
I think you're just making a big fuss out of nothing.

>>124205
i think there's 2 possibilities
>nona has been traumatized previously and needs to unlearn this behavior
>nona really is right that something is wrong but dealing with it poorly/can't comprehend what it is exactly and tell the whole story
A mix of these can be true but I don't feel like questioning anyone rn

>>124207
When I was in high-school I was in a long term relationship the moid I fell in love with slowly became a porn addict throught the 3 years we dated. At graduation he cheated on me with one of my friends. I think that fucked me up. So I don't trust moids.
This moid I know he doesn't watch porn, when we started dating he offered me to stay at his apartment when I had finals or midterms since his apartment is closer to our uni, than my house, I agreed and offered to pay the internet bill, he studies pharmaceutical chemistry and isn't interested in tech content so he agreed for Ms to pay the internet bill and change the service under my name…
Aka I can see what he searches if I ask the internet provider I did and well I wasn't disappointed he doesn't watch porn, but he sometimes consumes uhm erotic novels which I kinda find cute. He is weird that's why I think he is too good to be true. He is nerdy but doesn't have an obsession to anything. He told me most people find him really plain and boring. I can see why but honestly I don't mind.
I really like that he is organized it's the most attractive thing about him. Plus I'm amazed he isn't a religious nut head, moids like him mostly are like that.

>>124190
I mean, my first bf and I had a very peaceful breakup and are still very good friends to this day (it's been years since we split), and neither of us has absolutely any feelings for the other, we've grown to be very different people anyway. We both still keep stuff we gifted each other back then because why wouldn't we? Like why would I discard the perfectly adorable yellow teddy he gave just because we're not together? She's mine and she's adorable and I love her, atp it has nothing to do with him being the giver. Idk about your bf but many people keep stuff from previous relationships because they legitimately like the item itself and don't think about it in relation to the person who gave it to them.

>>124190
You suck as his gf. Release him for another nona

>>124209
Ok, this is understandable now. But you too have to understand nona, this attitude isn't very fair towards your partner, especially after he proved himself time and time again.
Is it weird that he seems too good to be true? Maybe, but the mature way of going about this isn't to judge everything he does under scrutiny and you are kinda supposed to have trust in your relationship, otherwise it's not a very good one. If he gives you a real, legitimate reason to suspect himself of wrongdoing, okay. But please don't make someone pay for something someone else did.

>>124207
While it's possible that there is "something wrong," I don't think it's anything worth making a big deal out of. IMO that probability is low enough that the best course of action is to keep enjoying things as is and taking the loss if it turns out poorly. It's better than OP ruining things on their own (because clearly they are unable to handle these things).
>>124209
>moid
>erotic novels
You're dating an FTM. That's why something feels off. It's highly unlikely that a moid would ever READ porn unless it had pictures (unless they are gay or some sort of extreme sexual deviant).
Alternatively this is a LARP and OP has no idea what men are like.

>>124190
First things first: how do you even got the idea to ask for the code of his phone?

>>124192
He don't give the code: he is hiding something!
He give the code: this isn't normal!

>>124215 it's not lapping and his a CIS-male BUT his dad is a doctor and his specialty is neurology and also has a masters in neuroscience *I don't really understand how that works and I haven't ask lol
Early on in our relationship I asked him about that type of behavior he basically told me his dad got his masters by doing a research paper on porn addiction and when he started puberty his dad educated him in the dangers of any type of addiction from porn to drugs. Also he told me porn is to loud for him and hurts his ears, I believe him, I've seen him physically cringe at loud events and movie theaters some times he even brings ear plugs to the movies.
His family is really good. I enjoy spending time with his parents I've only met them twice but both experiences I found them really enjoyable.
He is kind of a sexual deviant he likes if I choke him in bed and if I dig my nails in his skin and stuff like that.
>>124210 yeah but he didn't end things amicably with her why would he have paraphernalia that could remind him of her?? That's weird or am I crazy?
>>124212 NO,FUCK OFF
>>124246 Saw a tiktok about micro cheating and got paranoid after seeing it. But after looking at his phone if I ommit that ex gf part he speaks really well of me and I kinda feel like a bad gf when I get paranoid about this.
He is a moid and fucks up from time to time but at least he is mature enough to own up to it and change. Btw he is 22 yrs old I'm 24.

>>124190
Im sorry nona but its pretty obvious hes cheating on you and covered his tracks so that he could lure you into a false sense of security and do god knows what to you. you need to ghost him now before he has the chance to hurt you.

>>124249
sounds like you're projecting your fears onto the relationship. i think it's worthwhile to at least learn to identify this impulse otherwise you will start to dislike him. he sounds like a great guy and not a sexual deviant at all really. good luck nona

get out while you can Nona, he sounds like a porn addicted loser who will cheat on you and abuse you (didnt read the OP, didn't need to. im right.)