/feels/ - Advice & Venting

The solution to fear of loneliness is not another person, nona. People come and go. People get bored of each other. People argue, fight, neglect, and give up. People die. People go missing. People won't be available when you need the most because of life and obligations. You also don't want to be in a position where your existence depends on whether they're around you or not.

You know what's the solution to all this?
Cats.

>>124850
Still need someone to shoo the cats off your corpse when you die.

>>124842
Is it that you don't want children or are you scared of your identity changing as a wife/mother?

If it's the first one, there's a whole childfree community where people date others who don't want kids.

If it's the second, IDK if what I have to say will help or not. If you already possess the capacity to fall in love with someone, fall in love with the right kind of person who shares your values, and the loyalty to stay with them even when the honeymoon phase is over; You'll adapt to starting a family just fine if you chose to go that route.

>>124852
>Is it that you don't want children or are you scared of your identity changing as a wife/mother?

Mostly the latter. I'm not sure if I want kids yet, I think it's so risky and that you'll have to pour a 100% of yourself in it, honestly I don't even feel like that's worth it in most cases. What if I give my life to someone who I'll probably not even get along with?

>fall in love with the right kind of person who shares your values

That's the thing, I don't know if they're out there, I'm a pretty radical feminist and men aren't big fans of getting their privileges taken

>>124855
Instead of looking for a man who wants his privilege checked (because nobody wants to feel like shit) look for a guy who shares your core values and is willing to learn further, then build on that. If he's willing to learn that's half the battle fought right there. A relationship that results in marriage, and the marriage itself, is a ton of hard long-suffering work. It's not 50/50 either, each side has to give 100% of themselves to the relationship. Maintaining it, upholding it, and improving it. Communication is key and as long as you both can and will communicate then you can always overcome whatever life throws at you. My parents have been happily married for around 40 years. I'm the eldest out of 5, not including two miscarriages. I've seen them fight, and makeup. I've seen them be away from each other for weeks at a time because my dad was in the Air Force and was going TDY. We've been dirt poor, and middle class. My mom has COPD because she smoked, my dad had an aneurysm burst in his brain and that's spelled countless medical problems. Now they're both getting old they're in their 60s my mom has bad bones, my dad is dying of cancer. No matter what they still love each other. They put each other first at all times.

That is not optional. That is mandatory.

You have to find someone who you can be that with. One whole being. When the times are good and when the times are bad. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. Until death do you part.

Don't let the overwhelming negativity of modern society get to you there are still people who are out there and want that. But it takes searching. You have to get off your ass and find it, it will not come to you. Don't be afraid of putting yourself out there because you are worth it. What you want and what you desire in life is worth it. It's worth getting hurt, it's worth getting rejected. That love does exist. But like anything that is worth something it is not passive. It has to be worked for, and you must set aside everything to obtain it.

Do you have the intestinal fortitude? The fact that you want it says you do. All that remains is for you to obtain it.

Good luck and Godspeed.

>>124858
>Instead of looking for a man who wants his privilege checked (because nobody wants to feel like shit)

Well women feel like shit all the time. I don't care if a scrote has to feel like shit for like a week in order to stop being a public menace. I think I might just try sticking to women.