[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
Name
Email
Message

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Image
Direct Link
Options NSFW image
Sage (thread won't be bumped)
Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

IMG_8184.jpeg

boyfriend says he feels catfished by me? Anonymous 125071

ive been dating this guy for about 6 months and its been really good until recently. he's super sweet, attractive, intelligent, very much a catch. ive never been with a guy who ive felt so happy to be with and i havent dated in a while.

things were going well until recently, when we were hanging out at his house and i was sitting on his couch sans makeup.

thing is, ive worn pretty heavy makeup when we first met, and i haven't taken it off until now. i noticed he was being really distant and i asked him why.

that's when everything came to head. he reluctantly admitted he felt really disappointed with how i naturally look and he was more excited to date me when i was done up. he went on to say he felt lied to and that i look significantly different without it.

i had no idea what to say so i just told him that he shouldn't be dating me if it was bothering him that much. he told me he wasn't sure how to bring it up to me and that maybe we weren't as great of a fit as he originally thought.

ever since then ive been replaying the event in my head and we're still together, but there's now an awkward distance between us. ive been feeling really down about the whole situation and have no idea of how to move forward.

nonas, what would you do if you were me? ive never had this problem with boyfriends until this week and i now feel pretty insecure about my makeup usage. i have no idea if he still likes me and we havent spoken as much after the conversation happened.

i'd appreciate any advice. thanks for listening if you've gotten this far.

Anonymous 125072

>haven't taken off heavy makeup until 6 months in
damn

Anonymous 125073

One week in? He could be in "they changed it now it sucks" phase, but how different do you actually look?

Anonymous 125074

>>125073
i wear pretty large winged eyeliner, mascara, nose contour, falsies, and some other products, so i look quite different
>He could be in "they changed it now it sucks" phase
he seems distant. like not as into me as he was before, as if seeing me without makeup has dampened his impression of me. i feel so bad about myself now

Anonymous 125076

>>125075
Scrote alert

Anonymous 125077

>>125075
Lol burgerlanders really look like this

Anonymous 125078

>>125075
Melissa wtf are you doing here on your pause

Anonymous 125079

9ad981437e226446fa…

its probably not going to work out tbh. if he's saying that now, just get out early before things potentially get deeper. men are very visual creatures

i'm sorry that happened and that it's making you feel bad about yourself, that sucks

Anonymous 125080

crying.jpg

First of all, I'm so sorry, . I could feel your pain through this post. This person you're with right now seems very mean and cruel. I can't imagine a good relationship where there's a distance because of appearance, even though Moids in general tend to be quite superficial. Rethink this relationship and preserve your integrity and peace of mind.

Anonymous 125081

That is sad, horrible and hilarious. Tbf I've never understood the point of heavy makeup. Then again I only use it to contour what's already there. Why cake it on other than to turn yourself into an art project? I'm honestly sorry that you feel like you need so much makeup because of impossible beauty standards that you're trying to live up to, and the fact that your scrote wants to break up. If my moid lied to me for six months about his appearance, like wearing a toupee or shoe lifts or something I'd want to leave him too. Honestly tho I think there's probably something else going on, the underlying desire to be something you're not, the imposter syndrome, the desire to please and using what is essentially a disguise. now that facade you built has cracked and you're vulnerable. You have an identity beyond that, show him that you do. Maybe go to couples therapy but even if you don't communication is key, talk it out. Make clear how you're hurting. Tell him bluntly that you showed who you really were under the mask and he laughed, tell him how it makes you feel. Guys are kinda emotionally stupid so be blunt.

Anonymous 125083

>>125079
Shit and lies. They coerce women to be beautiful (harass them into it) while they look like 80 year old Weiner. Hot men try to start looking like ass as soon as they possibly can. Do not EVER settle for ugly moids claiming that.

Anonymous 125085

He sounds inexperienced with women if he doesn't understand make up. That's not necessarily a bad thing. You could try telling hin how awful he made you feel and see if you can work through it. If hr gets defensive about it, he'll never change.


I feel like I already know the answer, but does he do grooming and primping himself?

Anonymous 125086

It's possible that he just reacted weird and it'll get better if you openly communicate how bad it's making you feel. From your description of him, he seems like a nice person and should be understanding.

But, on the other hand, I know how desperate it can feel if you've had relationships with bad people over and over, and you idealise the person whilst ignoring all their red flags.

I'd get a friend or family member to reality check you and see if he's really as sweet and kind as you think. Also please confront him. Like >>125085 said, if he gets defensive then drop him, he's not as good as you thought. And that would suck so bad, but it's better than hanging onto someone who's that upset over pigments on your face. Even good makeup doesn't fundamentally alter your bone structure, if he thinks that women naturally spawn with winged eyeliner and that he's entitled to that appearance then you're due for disaster down the line.

Anonymous 125104

>>125074
It was his choice to date a woman who obviously wears heavy makeup so that's on him. It's not like eyeliner or heavy eyelashes look natural in any way. Still sucks.

Anonymous 125105

>>125075
moid sighted, gtfo

Anonymous 125107

op here. i spoke with my boyfriend yesterday and decided to be more confrontational, like i was advised on here.

i asked him why it bothered him so much and he repeated his response that he felt lied to. he added that i even acted different without makeup and he didnt like that. i told him i felt hurt by what he said and asked if he still wanted to be together. he said he would have to think about it and that maybe he could look past his discomfort with my makeup-less face.

thats all i have to update, im giving him space as of now to think about our relationship. ive been distraught over this whole thing and its been really eating away at me since i really like him, we've had great times otherwise. this was our first bump in the relationship and i don't want us to break up.
>>125079
thanks. im not going to break up with him because i like him so much and im hoping he feels the same, i know that im risking getting hurt more.
>>125080
>This person you're with right now seems very mean and cruel.
he's actually very sweet, which makes this whole situation feel even more painful.

thank you to the rest of the nonas who replied, it really helps to read your advice and ill be responding to more later when the situation progresses. i really like him and im hoping we can stay together. he's still acting distant and like he is still bothered, it really pains me. the distance hurts the most.

again, thank you if you've read this far. <3

Anonymous 125114

>>125107
Idk what to advise you on your current situation with your bf, but it sounds like you would make a great makeup artist at least.

Anonymous 125121

>>125071
You fucked up. If you're going for something long term wear more natural makeup.


[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]