I wish someone would choose me for once in my life Anonymous 125251
>be me
>parents abused/ abandoned me
>grow up
>find a nice lady
>she becomes a mom figure
>call her mom
>discuss adult adoption
>make plans to move to the same city and be a family.
>get text saying she's moving to France to be with her gf.
Are you fucking kidding me? The two people who are supposed to love me no matter what fucking HATE me for being born or don't remember I fucking exist. I find someone who ACTUALLY wants me to be a part of their family and they decide to just fucking ditch me so they can get laid by someone in France?
Fucking really? I'm worth less than a god damn plane ticket.
I will sacrifice literally anything for love. I memorize every tiny detail of a person's likes and dislikes. I memorize their habits and patterns and I cleave parts off of myself to put them ahead of me constantly. I work for peoples love because clearly no one will give it to me without me having to mine for it. And I thought I found one fucking person who wouldn't do that. Who actually understood and saw me. I THOUGHT I had a mother for the first time in my useless fucking life but no. No family for me.
I'm going to move to the middle of Alaska and just live by myself. Humanity is so disapointing and cruel for no fucking reason. I'm sick of it. For once would someone just choose me? Just be happy that they have me?
I know I don't bring much to the table. I'm slow, I need a bunch of meds, I get confused easily and schizophrenia + autism make me the most annoying person on the planet. I know that.
But I didn't get to choose any of those things. I just want someone to love me. Actually love me. Not throw years of plans and already made commitments away on a whim.
I'm just exhausted and I am running out of parts of myself to give to others..
