/feels/ - Advice & Venting

You're probably just scaring them.

>>126671
How?

you gotta mirror and love bomb nona

It sounds like you're picking from a stable of similarly guarded people and they're sensing you come on too strong. First question, obsession in a friendship?

>>126668
Maybe you're acting too desperate?
That's relatable. You can't force it though, just try to feel comfortable with someone, that may work better than trying too hard to appeal to them.
>And my closest current friend already had a best friend with whom she probably is close so with me she won't become close.
>had
So they're not as close anymore?
I used to have three best friends I was super close with, but we drifted apart and they stopped talking to me completely. I'm now closest with someone I barely ever talked to and barely share interests with. We feel really comfortable with each other, she's just really chill. Sometimes, that's all you need.
You can still try being closer to that current closest friend. And make more friends while you're at it, you never know when someone could turn out to be someone you really want in your life.

>>126668
Are these IRL friends or online “friends”?

>>126668
These people are low functioning psychopaths. It might be more that you're subconsciously pulled to psychopaths

Ever asked yourself why? Ever noticed ?

>>126676
This is true too though you might be needy

people are either selfish/individualistic and believe in things like emotional labor. or they are hurt and reluctant to trust new people. or a combo of both.

someone without a history of friendships and relationships is a red flag. sometimes it has nothing to do with you and it’s just where other people are. sometimes you trigger something in someone else’s pattern recognition and it doesn’t even have to be a real thing about you. you just reminded them of someone else.

when you take it personally every time or view normal distance from strangers as an attack, it can change your vibe and people can pick up on that. when you’re going into something expecting pain and disappointment and rejection and maybe feel nervous or defensive, people feel that emotion and wonder what’s going on in the interaction to make you feel that way. sometimes it makes them angry sometimes it makes them nervous. sometimes people even take advantage.

all of this can literally be bypassed by confidence and level eye contact. not i’m above you but everyone is my equal. you don’t have to care what anyone thinks of you. they’re not the judge. and you can also probably name some stuff you don’t like about people if you really think about it. no one is above you. there’s no one to impress. if you can internalize that people will like start begging to be around you.

hopefully this posts i just put it in the wrong thread