>>126890hes avoidant and hides his true feelings. i think his relationship to wanting attention is complicated, i think it’s more about seeking validation than attention.
i expected love songs about his new gf and the most romantic thing was “where ever we are now” which is less passion and soulmates than accepting you’re lost in life but you’ve found a stranger to cling to to be lost together with. i expected songs about crazy exes. i expected songs about how he’s a badass or a cowboy or a sailor. there ARE a lot of astronaut songs.
i didn’t expect song after song of “i was out of my mind for hurting you” “took him too long to realize he was wrong” “take me back before the night i touched you with tears in your eyes so i can undo it” “a guilty soul and worried mind can’t survive without someone else even though he doesn’t deserve it” “i’m literally evil and will be your downfall” “song about going through a trip and experiencing ego death and being sorry for any damage he’s done before being sent back into the cycle” “song about accepting he deserves where he is because of what he has done”
just the absolute complete opposite of what he expressed to me years ago about not being sorry me twisting the truth to make him sound worse than he was and me being a terrible woman for confronting him about what he did. the only song about a terrible woman with mean words is fucking cherry wine by hozier of all songs which was kind of a stab to the gut. like oh. you don’t think i’m crazy. you think you deserved it and the blood i made you bleed is fine like cherry wine. got it.
i don’t want to just start posting lyrics or details but this is the exact opposite to what i expected his mental state to be to the point i feel like someone dumped a bucket of cold water on his head. he was the most energetic person i’ve ever met and there’s a lot about substance abuse and not being able to get out of bed and already being gone.
he used to brag about not caring what he did.
