/feels/ - Advice & Venting

is your problem that you don't get friends or respect from normies?
my understanding is that to be seen as normal you need to adopt their lame social norms. smile when appropriate, be reciprocal when appropriate. is there anything specific preventing you from doing so? usually that's enough to get accepted. people just want to know they can expect you to act how they need you to act. then you can be seen as normal even if you're the lamest person in the world. but that's only a general rule.

you kind of have to lobotomize yourself and be a smiley happy person so the normies will see you as 'safe' and interact with you. they looove small talk, and love pretending like nothing is wrong in the world. normies don't like subversion so save the weirdo autist shit for when you and them are much better friends

people act a certain way in public and unwind when they get to know. you guys just aren’t getting to that point with people. other people are anxious too.

>>126977
not op but how do i master small talk? what topics do they like? ive isolated for so long im forgetting how to talk to normies fml

>>126980
I prefer acting like muhself right off the bat unless I need something from the other party. I'm surprised so little people do this but I guess they care about their image way more than I do

>>127004
when you say small talk i'm assuming you mean quick chats with strangers. really it just comprises of things that are safe to talk about. some examples

1. the weather (i know but especially if it's been bad/nice recently)
>"it's been so nice out, what have you been up to?"
>"it's so cold, i just want to stay inside all day"

2. the location
>"this shop is so cute! i'm going to be broke by the end of the day"
>"have you been to ____ yet? it has a nice vibe!"
>"it's been so busy recently!"

3. shared obligations
>"uni work is killing me"
>"it's been slow on my end of things, what about you?"

4. hobbies/interests
>"this song is so good, i bet i could play it on guitar/piano/(insert instrument you play)"
>"i think i'll go hiking this weekend, what are you up to?"

bonus points if you combine things. like this -
>"it's been so sunny recently! i think i'll head out to the country this weekend and do some birdwatching."

compliments go far as well. after you compliment them and they say 'thank you' you can always ask them more to keep the conversation going, eg. 'where did you get the inspiration?'

the conversation doesn't have to end because you can't think of anything to say. often, you can just say what you're thinking (eg "it's so busy in here i feel so warm and i'm nervous i'm sweating and scaring everyone off haha"), or 'repeat' what they've said back to them. example:

them: yea, i got this tshirt from a charity shop
you: from a charity shop?
them: yea! pretty solid find!
you: yesss it looks so good!

the important thing to remember is to smile, or at least have a positive air about you, and be kind. pretend like everyone's your friend, and they are more likely to become your friend

and this point >>127007 is important to keep in mind. it's easier to make and KEEP friends when you're not spending mental energy pretending to be someone else.

me personally i have very little filter (i say what's on my mind) and i try to be smiley and kind to everyone, i almost can't help but smile when i'm talking to people (clerks, people in queues, people on the street), so i guess that's a good strat. people are drawn to authenticity. in order to be a happy trusting person you have to change your mindset from "i'm prey, they're all thinking negatively about me" to "no one is thinking about me as much as they're thinking about themselves.. i can do whatever i want because i am epic"

glhf