/feels/ - Advice & Venting

sounds like you need social-services

baby that sounds like cortisol face. drink more water, find your local farm stand/co-op and make it a goal to eat two meals a week featuring veggies from there as 30 percent of the meal, and get a bottle of volufilene from the ordinary and use it with moisturizer. you’re not ugly you’re stressed out and hate yourself. whoever the fuck pulled you out of school in 6th grade is a child abuser. that is not your fault and not a choice a 6th grader can make. period. if you want to pursue your education, look up your local school districts adult education classes. don’t try to figure out what you need to do. that’s not your job. that is the job of the coordinator of that program to figure out a placement for you. you don’t know all of your options and they likely won’t all be listed online. it is entirely possible to finish your high school diploma through correspondence and at home, and most of those courses are at your own pace and free. to motivate yourself to clean up the trash, i want you to think about someone who hates you enjoying that you live like that. someone who hurt you and is in the wrong being relieved that they abused you and got away with it and now you are curled up in a ball and they are relieved because they want you dead and silent so they can get away with it. start with sitting on the floor of the shower. get clean. put on clean clothes. change your bedding. and that’s it for the day lay down and scroll. next time, clear a little path in your room and do the same thing. next time, bag some garbage and shove things to the side and make a big enough space to vacuum. let yourself notice how much better it feels to be clean and not be tracking grit into your bed or feeling gross. you sound like you are ridiculously over qualified to receive disability and even housing. you start by going to the education coordinator and explaining how you a child abuse victim with a disability. they probably already have paper work on you if you live in the same area as your original school district or can find it. whatever is going on with your bladder, you definitely qualify for medicaid. i’m guessing it’s an abuse thing or an alcohol thing. it may be entirely fixable with physical therapy. i know that’s a lot to take in and a lot to do and i’m making it sound easy. but your problems are entirely fixable at this stage and there are resources for you to fix every single one of those things. no one has to know anything when you go back to school or work in the future, but i wouldn’t place any urgent deadline on yourself to do those things. you are in a crisis right now and your goal should not be to jump straight into appearing normal to others or being productive. your goal right now is just to tell someone in charge of helping others access resources that you need that help. i would not go straight to a social worker i would speak to people at individual agencies. if you do speak to a social worker, please remember that it’s someone with a 4 year degree who went into psychology for their own reasons and often they are useless and condescending. you might be assigned one or urged to speak to one and i’m warning you right now. there is a chance that the first person you speak to is a weird viper woman who wants to be condescending. she chose her job in order to do that because she has a complex. ignore that person, don’t go back, go to a different person until you find a nice middle aged lady that is going to advocate for you. i promise you, your warrior is out there. for every four nasty therapist/social worker/government assistance worker who went into this job to punish people, there is one person who went into her career to help. i don’t want you to get discouraged if you reach out and they act like that because it is an insane problem right now in a lot of fields, and once you find your advocate, they will help you bypass those fucking losers. i am speaking from experience here. i was a drop out for medical reasons too. there are people who will take genuine pleasure in kicking at you. the first sign of passive aggression, understand that is a “them” problem and they’re one of those weirdos who goes into fields where they can wield power over people. do not give up on yourself.

i can tell someone did something to you. do not let them win. this isn’t your fault and you’re not bad and if you put me in a room with you and your parents, and wondered whose side people would take, just know i would maul the face off of every adult in your life like a chimpanzee for doing this to you. you are a victim of severe abuse and neglect. people are going to see that and understand you. just please don’t give up if you encounter another abuser first before you find your guardian angel.

Consider reading or listening Dhammapada. It has never failed to ease my mental pain.

>>128749
and btw if it takes you five years to do of those things, you still won’t even be 25. i switched majors at that age and no one at school could even tell. you are a literal baby. your life has not even begun. you have been legally responsible for yourself for ONE YEAR. you are a TEENAGER. i love you. this isn’t your fault and it’s not hopeless. it’s going to be okay and there are going to be people like me who want to help you because you deserve to know what kindness feels like. i’m angry and hurt for you. i hope you know that i’m not judging you and at least one person is truly
rooting for you.

and btw i know the most disgusting woman in the world personally and she isn’t like you. she’s like the people who neglected you as a child and gaslit you into believing you, their victim, was at fault. the top two positions for worst women ever are already taken.

i’d say ghislaine maxwell and what’s-her-name (the wife of the guy who kidnapped the girl in the box) are worse though

at least take solace that you are a person of moral character.