/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I'm jobless,and uneducated.I'm held back.

I lack in-person adult school. My attempts at net school and mail courses failed due to them emulating the lack of support,and proper education I recieved. Brick and mortar adult school is necessary because it provides community. Not to mention, I'm exhausted from self-teaching without guidance or feedback. Relocation to attend an adult-school is necessary.

I live online. I lack solo-hobbies, such as reading physical books, or embroidery,as doing anything my family does not approve of feels risky.There is lots of activites I want to participant in, but my family holds me back.When I go outside, I am accused of doing something weird. Hence, to avoid conflict, I stay in my room. Given they do not participate in casual sports,or volunteering,doing so would make me ostracized.

I'm unemployed.I'm a caregiver. My sibling has an illness, and my parent is scared for them to be alone. Hence, I cannot work. I am also in the process of geting my ID. My parent lacks consistent hours, so working around their schedule would be challenging.

I love my family. But this is unfair. I'm unable to pursue a social life, and work towards my career goals. I feel an obligation them. I do not have in me to go out and do the activities I want to anyway, ignoring them. I do not want to come home to accusations,and be yelled at for defying them. I expressed my concerns to them, and they claimed I have everything I want. That is false:I want a job, and an offline life. I want independance. I'm ashamed of being a NEET.