/feels/ - Advice & Venting

i've been a radical feminist my whole life, and i'm also quite unappealing physically. i thought i was a lesbian for a long time before i accepted that i'm bisexual and do want to have a moid to have sex with. i feel so conflicted with my sexual urges towards moids and also the fact that i wish they would all die and disappear off of the face of the earth. they are all disgusting scum, all unable to have a modicum of emotional intelligence, genuine kindness or humanity inside of them.

my ex was my dream guy physically and sexually, but i never got to dominate him and get what i wanted out of him. he haunts my dreams at night, and i hate him so much for being so appealing to me, physically.

i wish i didn't feel physical attraction to males, as it's impossible that a moid could ever fulfill my needs emotionally. i've accepted the fact that the way i could ever get what i wanted (sexually) is through casual sex or a fwb arrangement.

do any of you thnk this way? have you given up on romantic love too? how do you cope?