Am I just being too stubborn? Anonymous 129697
Idk if I'm being stubborn about feeling this way but I genuinely don't want to have more than one sexual partner in my life. I already did it to someone I regret about doing with since we keep doing this rigamarole of breaking up and getting together. We're both young and in our twenties yeah and while I'm the slightly older one and should know better, I keep folding for him until this past week. We broke up again and I'm not even upset this time, but I'm still committed to my outlook because sex genuinely hasn't brought me much good in my life. I dealt with one miscarriage from our relationship and I just genuinely can't picture myself doing it again with another person.
My ex says I'll grow out of it but, he's not the one who dealt with losing a pregnancy or being a woman in a culture that values us based on our purity. We're both from a similar background so it's not like he isn't aware. Sometimes I regret putting it out for him, I wasn't forced by any means but if I could go back in time; I would've said no. I miss being a 'virgin' but what's done is done, I rather just not be intimate with a male ever again. Am I being too stubborn? Be brutally honest.
Anonymous 129709
There’s nothing wrong about your decision and embracing the single life.
Anonymous 129721
You're not being too stubborn at all, I think you are noble, and I'm sorry about your miscarriage nona
Anonymous 129725
>My ex says I'll grow out of it but,
Babe, that's not true. He either has no empathy or doesn't understand. You don't just grow out of something like that. It's your child. Even if it was a miscarriage, it is still your child.
It's always okay to feel how you feel, and your feelings don't suddenly go away or change, it's still you despite everything. You don't magically grow out of yourself.
If you've already broken up once, then he's an ex, and exes are exes for a reason. Clearly not compatible and not on the same wave length. It has nothing to do with age either. The cycle of breaking up and getting back together happens with teenagers, those in their 20s, those in their 30s, those in their 40s, etc. It's just a clear sign that they aren't the right person for you.
Sex isn't love either. Love is genuinely caring, being compassionate, having empathy, supporting, and being able to relate to how you feel without dismissing it as "Bro just grow out of it"
>sex genuinely hasn't brought me much good in my life
Sex isn't for everyone. For many people (both men and women) it's just entertainment. Men use women to entertain themselves. Women use men to entertain themselves.
Some women like to cater to those men and talk dirty ("my pussy is sooooo wet", "And I would really look forward to you fucking my boobs fast and hard with your dick until you explode all over them", "Which position do you want to try anal in first?" or "I’d also really enjoy if you lick both of my holes from behind while I’m on all fours mmm" etc), talk about various sex acts such as blowjobs, different positions, anal sex. It's all about catering to him and validation or they want to feel 'desired' and 'wanted' as if they are only useful for entertaining him sexually. The "PICK ME" women. The women who feel like they're not attractive enough so they have to go far and harder to appeal to men sexually.
A lot of those same men that those women try so hard to appeal to don't actually care about how she feels, what she's going through, her health, her boundaries, if she's alright or not. It's just about using her for entertainment and that's it, they don't want anything to do with her after he gets sex from her.
In a lot of marriages, a lot of men only want to see women for "physical intimacy", and nothing to do with her as a person. Even if she’s busy with the kids and touched out, she’s busy with work, her hormones are messed up post partum or otherwise. Pressuring her and guilt tripping her. And then those blame women for only using them for money.
Sometimes those men start out seemingly nice, especially if they love bomb, but it can also be a mask. They can turn and reveal their true colors and show you how they really feel. Enough men have abused womens' trust that it stands to reason that they don't trust them.
Your feelings are always valid and it's not your fault that he's like that. He is also not the right person for you to have in your life.
