/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Kind of a vent, but I need help.

My mother is a tyrant who exists to make other people’s lives miserable because of internalized hatred and many regrets in her life. Regret of getting married to the wrong man and having children and not pursuing a career. Which I fail to see as mine or my siblings’s fault at all. She’s just an overly narcissistic bipolar person blablabla many unsolved problems because of culture stigma and older generation anti mental health bullshit.

Now I need some advice here. We are three sisters with me being the eldest, middle sister is a teenager and the youngest is about a year old. There have been so many instances of neglect on her part. It’s not the typical severe parental abuse that I could go to the authorities with outwards like not changing diapers or not feeding her. It’s more so frequent outbursts of rage through vocal violence and not physical as well as emotional neglect that I know will have a profound impact on her later in life. I can see her getting startled and crying even louder from the sudden noise and anger. My mother is irritated by almost every sound my baby sister makes and has no self control as an above 50 year old woman to just keep her mouth shut and attend to her child. I’m always the one who has to pick her up and take her away from dangerous, loud and overwhelming situation and sit and play quietly until she calms down. My parents have no understanding of the words “mentally damaging” or “overstimulation” and whenever I bring these things up they brush it off with “It’s fine” or “If you care so much, you do something about it”. Which is completely and utterly retarded because that is YOUR child and not mine. It’s your responsibility. She is so fucking retarded and braindead. I’m convinced her brain is rotten from staring at her phone all day and scrolling on reels while my baby sister is crying because simple things aren’t being done like passing an apple or giving her a toy.

She also said some typical stupid-old-woman-who-regrets-her-life-bullshit like “I gave birth to you so I have the automatic right to sit on my phone all day while you take care of her” etc.

What can I do in this situation? I have exams to take soon and it’s stressing me the fuck out trying to balance taking care of a human life and my own studying struggles. My plan initially was to collect recordings of my mom being an asshat and then either take it to child protective services or tell her family. Because she doesn’t act like this around them, only behind closed doors where it’s safe and comfortable to be a narcissist.

Don’t even ask about my father. Moid sheep who can’t do anything and is too afraid to speak up because she abuses him too. She abuses all of us. I think I will only know peace when she is dead, as awful as that is to say because she is my mother. I should also mention that they are both raging alcoholics who act like it doesn’t have any effect on them when it really does.

tl;dr I want to help my baby sister get out of the cycle of neglect and abuse that me and my other sister went through, but I don’t know how to go about it and how to start. I am an unemployed adult with no money or assets to my name so I don’t think I have many options and we still live under the same roof. I feel like that limits me a lot.

I just want to break the cycle of abuse.