/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I'm aware of how retarded I am being but I am deeply in love with a fictional character. From the moment I wake up I am thinking of him to the time I go to sleep. It makes me want to cry since he's not real and would never be able to hold me or speak to me. I am thinking of getting a body pillow or sexo doll modeled after him but I am scared even then that won't be enough. Any Anons struggle with this? I need advice on how to deal with love for fictional husbandos.. Underneath my skin feels itchy when I think of him and my head starts hurting. It hurts physically. I love him so dearly.. I feel so crazy I am literally planning on modeling a sexo doll after him and staging a wedding in the middle of the woods with him.