i am sad Anonymous 132452
for whatever reason, i could not stop hurting myself and making bad choices since i was a teenager. always doing weed to try to fill the void of being alone. i never just slowed down or took a rational approach to fix the problem. like simply taking care of my body and working hard. instead i coasted by and am now haunted by regret. i hate feeling envious over people in a relationship. but its a constant dagger in my side everywhere i turn. i failed to do simple things that others can do without thinking. i am a loser lol. my brain is legit damaged with severe memory problems now because of escapism with some trash drug and i've been ready to rope because of that for a few years. my life is now 90% more dull than it already was, which was already bad to begin with. i try to ignore the hurt and embrace the absolute joke of a human i am. and i am sometimes okay at it by just stop caring/searching for stuff outside of myself and needing anything from the world. but every shitty music song practically is about love and i am always reminded that i am worthless and defunct. even with my dog who looks like the puppy in pic rel who is the best thing ever i still feel like i am not enough. but not only that, an existential curse of the feelings i have rid myself of. its this transcendental void that kills me inside. i can barely concentrate or do anything with my life because i just rot in a perpetual state of regret. but i try to not be so harsh on myself and dwell on the sad cloud that keeps following me everywhere i step. my mom tells me to move forward, but its so hard your entire life and mind has been irreversibly ruined. i need to let go of this negativity.
Anonymous 132453
>>132452I feel like that when i run out of weed too.
Anonymous 132456
you can quit, I promise. it took mea really long time to taper down until I finally stopped but I successfully did and I feel like a different person now.
Anonymous 132457
>>132456i stopped doing weed a while ago
but i am deeply destroyed on the inside there's no recovery
going to delete myself from the earth server eventually too much shit haunting me
Anonymous 132479
>>132452I used to feel like this a lot of the time when I was younger. I'm not much older now, but somewhere between 22 and 23 my brain finished developing and I decided that suicide wasn't an option. That made me consider how everything else was possible. I had recently survived a suicide attempt around that time, too. I've also struggled with pill addiction, and I still will do most pills I get my hands on… I can tell you that the pain will stop, and not only when you die, but it can stop now while you are still alive. I tell you this because I was once you. I think I also got some slight brain damage from pills and I don't remember a lot of things. It's not too bad. Is your mom supportive of you?
