/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>132518
Nah you're probably alright. People just like it when you say "Hi, how are you?" to them so you have to say that more. They really like that shit

>>132518
>ND
North Dakota?
Naked Dancing?
Nanny Dependent?

>>132519
no matter how fucking friendly you are, engage in small talk and initiate convos where they can rant about themselves, it won't go anywhere when people don't like you

>>132520
neurodivergent

>>132521
Okay but what's not to like about you? You're not mean, are you? People don't like meanies you know

>>132523
i think over time ive become quite oppositionary and unaggreable, but when I was younger I was very bubbly and kind, and was still very alienated

>>132524
disagreeable*

>>132524
oppositional*

>>132524
Well when you're different sometimes it can be hard to fit in but that just means it takes a little more effort to get people to understand you. You know people like it when you help them. Maybe try helping someone you see who looks like they need help

>>132527
in all honesty I still try to be kind to others, but I genuinely hate humans and that's never going to change.

>>132528
I can't blame you for being angry when you feel you've been wronged but you should remember there is light and kindness in humanity. There is strength in rage but there's even greater strength in hope. I hope one day you come to truly understand what that means

>>132529
there's no hope in humanity, from the time of our existence all we have done is committed evil. i say this as an objective viewpoint not from my experiences

>>132530
And yet we press on in hopes we will one day realize a better world. Always pushing forward always striving for something better

>>132531
no thats just stupidity humans never had a redemptive era and if we stop reciting fairytale wishes and actually try to change maybe we'd be better

also i regret posting this sounds so edgy and depressive i wish i could delete it

>>132532
waow ur so oppressed nd special

>>132534
is okay we love and support our black queens on cc

>>132518
I will try to answer honestly, yes
it's okay, you're not a loser for being friendless, that's something misogynistic women who never grew past high school sexist rhetoric believe , unlike men women are expected to be social butterflies, and be okay with either fair weather friendships or toxic ones, just like we are expected to be okay in shitty romantic relationship.
Don't beat yourself up and enjoy your university life, study and maybe go to the gym, eventually true friends will come along, it happened to me.

I've felt the same way for a long time (also a black woman "expat" in Germany, probably ND of some kind)

I think things only got better once I just accepted that there was never going to be reality where the average person was going to like me, then it became liberating in a way.

I can be as "aggressive"/mean/"manipulative" as I want to be because no matter what I was always going to be perceived that way anyway. Some people (good people) love me for it, its a smaller number than the people who hate me for it. I'm an acquired taste and that's fine.

>>132565
ouch.

>>132560
aww tysm, and for sure obviously it's patriarchal standards being upheld that made me feel like a loser when i realized how many of my agemates have amazing social lives. but i just wish i had one friend, im so tired of waiting it outtt

>>132564
exactly, when i came to terms with the fact that regardless i'm not going to be liked, irrespective of my behavior i transformed into this "mean, edgy bitch" and stopped masking, contrary to b4 when i was a high pushover. also i think pretty ND girls are given more grace to being blunt and upfront compared to ugly/below average ones. which in my case im below average so makes it even more difficult.

but im glad u found ur crowd, and i couldnt imagine being in germany omg, theyre so racist there. im an american but i moved to my parent's native country temporarily. if i may ask, how old ru? just to like give me hope ig thats its not too late for me

>>132566
what was said?

>>132532
>>132537
You will never be me

>>132570
26, never too late for anyone IMO

Glad I could help someone, for once.

>>132564
For me (also ND and sheltered), it hurts because I'm not like that, but in my experience, some people weirdly project it onto me anyway. I've noticed that there are people who get weirdly irate at my personality in a way they aren't with people who are similar, but of different races. Sometimes, it's like they try to get at me (or "bait" me) with rude comments or behavior. It's almost like they're trying to absolve themselves of something internal, but whatever they're searching for just isn't me. Half the time, I'm too autistic to even know what they're doing, but then I tell a friend (both black and non-black) about it in passing, they're like "That person was a bitch/piece of shit, disregard them" and some have broken down exactly what they were doing in a way that made me a bit depressed, but made sense.
My life is great and I'm extremely lucky in other ways, so it's whatever, but it makes me a little sad that I'm always going to be treated a certain way because a large chunk of the populace only navigate the world in stereotypes, and actually get deeply upset and uncomfortable when they aren't performed. I thought all those stereotypes were bad things and behaviors they hated in the first place, but racists actually seem to love "angry", "loud" and "ghetto" black people and promote them whenever they can. They even try to copy them and obsessively listen to their music. Maybe it's because it makes them feel like society (and therefore, the world) is simple, that only they are "real", varied humans, and that they don't have to worry about how they treat others or move through the world because they already know everything and everyone. Some of them literally admit to fantasizing about things ranging from aggression to literal racial violence being enacted on them, and I just don't understand putting that sort of thing on something as arbitrary as race.
The person who replied to you with racism earlier was probably another example of what I'm talking about, and they're likely fuming that they didn't get the kind of response they wanted. I wish they'd just leave us alone, but that's not the intended function of racism. Sorry for blogging, this thread just reminded me of these feelings.

>>132576
damn, almost a 10 year difference. but thank you for the encouraging words

>>132577
because we don't confirm/affirm their racist biases, and that pisses them off way more than people who do.
look at all the media they push to the forefront about black people in general, always appropriating aave and slangs. they like using it as a mockery and as a corroboration to what they think is true about blk people. absolutely horrendous.

i was always extremely different from that notion as well, i used to even have people accuse me of using a voice changer when i'd tell them im black online because i dont "sound black", which is so foolishly said, but its perceptions many non blk ppl harbor. thats inherently why i hate my existence more, for the fact that before even getting perceived for who i am, i get treated based on what i am. its a tiring, overall suicidebait inducing fate for a society so classist, lookist and neuronormative.

which comment with racism ru talking about though? i havent seen any

>>132579
Agreed, it's like they have a love-hate relationship with their own imagined concept of black people, and expect every black person they meet to participate in that with them. I have no interest in that, I'm just a person.
>i was always extremely different from that notion as well, i used to even have people accuse me of using a voice changer when i'd tell them im black online because i dont "sound black", which is so foolishly said, but its perceptions many non blk ppl harbor.
I've had similar things happen to me, except they simply accused me of being white, underage and lying about being black repeatedly. It's so weird. I can't imagine being so certain on something so backward and inherently limited. I thought the internet would help people become less ignorant, and I think it did (kind of), but there are so many stragglers, and people who go out of their way to try and spread ignorance.
>thats inherently why i hate my existence more, for the fact that before even getting perceived for who i am, i get treated based on what i am. its a tiring, overall suicidebait inducing fate for a society so classist, lookist and neuronormative.
I agree it's tiring. In my experience, it's helped to just keep up a wall between myself and the world until someone proves they can be trusted. It can be hard to find a balance between being open enough to let nice things happen, and distant enough to remain protected, but it's not impossible. Society is horrible, and when it's not racism, it's often misogyny or classism (like you mentioned) or practically any other -ism on top of "normies" just being awful, but it's a trap to hate or blame yourself for other people being hateful/abusive toward you, anon. Your existence, by itself, is inherently innocent. You didn't do anything wrong by being born. All the evil is coming from outside factors, they punch down on you because they feel like they can get away with it, and you are well within your rights to reject it. There are still good people and experiences in the world, and you aren't exempt from enjoying them, no matter what the miserable and psychotic try to push onto you. I still hate being ND, though, it's like thumbing around in the dark.
>which comment with racism ru talking about though? i havent seen any
It was deleted, so I don't know if there's any good reason to repeat it verbatim, but it was basically just them insisting all black people are automatically mean. I could say a lot about the kind of person who like, needs to believe that, but there's not much point. The narratives will continue.

>>132580
it's insane how angry and defensive racists get, how much they fetishize and infatilize bw
>I've had similar things happen to me, except they simply accused me of being white, underage and lying about being black repeatedly. It's so weird.
god, especially when you to conform to a particular aesthetic and style. the denial of a monoracial, black woman with a high-pitched voice, certain facial features and mannerisms, erks them so badly they equate it to the racial background being untrue, or being a pushover for white validation. they think any bw that goes against the typical grain of what they think a bw is, is trying to get into closer proximity to whiteness, theyre obsessed with trying to claim everything for themselves.
i was tempted on multiple occassions to larp or present myself as a difference race due to the fact that people denied and refused me from being black, even creating scenarios that could further support this. whether its to comfort or cope with the fact that BW CAN be those things, i dont know. but its so abhorrent and disgusting. don't forget the belittling attempts to write you off as white-washed.

thank you very much for your kind words, honestly im just waiting for the time to come when i return home so i can engage with my hobbies properly and go into DBT. ontop of being ND i have bpd, so the boundaries you speak of, merging that balance has been so difficult for me. day by day im learning at how to get better though, but it's so embarrassing to look back at all those types i was oblivious to people taking advantage of my ignorance and not being able to say no to it. humans are so evil.
>It was deleted, so I don't know if there's any good reason to repeat it verbatim
not even surprised, they'll continue to give themselves excuses as to why they should continue absolving themselves into being racist pieces of shit, speaks volumes ab their intelligence

Can't you take this shit to lipstick alley or something

>>132583
what here speaks lipstick alley to you

>>132584
Isn't LC enough for you?

>>132585
what?

>>132586
Why do you have to announce you're black wherever you go? Even on an anonymous website? I just don't get why you can't stay in your dedicated spaces for blackcels if you want to talk about racism or whatever. The only reason this post is here is because OP wants attention and knows libfems here will give her that.

>>132587
>>132583
This is so mentally ill and weird, kek. No one's "announcing they're black wherever they go", you just have a hateful fixation on black people like the other incels who sperg about and project on other races. You can hide the thread, no one here has ever (or will ever) reach out to talk to you personally. Also, you have no place to call anyone a "libfem", because feminism isn't for you, and you know exactly why.