Anonymous 133578
I think I might have raped my boyfriend. I went off birth control and had the first ovulation of my entire life. I really enjoyed the increased libido but it got out of hand. Me and him were about to have sex and we agreed previously that because I was going off birth control he would wear a condom but honestly I hate how they feel and in the moment I really wanted to feel him naturally so I asked him not to wear a condom but he said no. So I said I wasn’t going to have sex with him unless he agreed to “just pull out before he came” (the fact that I was also giving him a handjob to make him too horny to think straight might have influenced his answer) he said yes after that and we started having sex. My first experience with ovulation sex was primal and empowering. I really enjoyed myself and didn’t worry about anything. It was a big cognitive relief to turn all the anxiety in my brain off and just feel good but it also made me impulsive (my friends call this being “cock drunk” lol) and while he was about to ejaculate something came over me. I really needed to feel his cum inside me and I wasn’t going to let him escape my grasp. To put it bluntly the cavewoman in me knew what she needed and that night she needed to mate with the man she loves. I felt like an animal, I leg locked him and grabbed his waist pinching him with my nails and even bit him on his shoulder not letting him deny me. It felt amazing but I still feel bad for letting my libido ignore his wishes. But if you look at what men do everyday to women this was hardly anything to gasp at. Afterwards he was done emptying his balls into my pussy (which felt even better than usual because of the ovulation) he cuddled with me but I could feel it in him that something was wrong. After recovering his stamina sat up on our bed and looked at me like he was conflicted. That’s was sort of an argument began about consent and how he’s never done anything like that to me and how now we might have to go buy abortion pills, etc etc. Eventually he got up and left. I’m embarrassed to ask my friends for advice about this and I don’t feel like a rapist I feel like I just got too excited. If I get pregnant I’ll just take some pills, money isn’t and issue for me and I dgaf about cramps because I’m a badass lol. I just wished my boyfriend would understand that I deal with a lot of stress everyday so if I slip up once he should know how important it is that I’m allowed to prioritize myself at least once every now and then. I feel like a good boyfriend would understand the struggles women go through daily. Struggles that men will never have to experience.
