keep wanting him while having a boyfriend Anonymous 133677
I have a bf but I keep thinking about a past guy. We were good friends and both liked eachother. But eventually drifted apart. I frequently thought about him.
2 months into my current relationship we coincidentally had contact. it felt so good, we talked for a couple of days. there was always so much unspokenness between us so then i texted him: i want to be honest with you, i used to like you and it was good to talk to you again but i think its better to let go now and not talk to eachother anymore. I didn't mention my boyfriend.
we had a good last conversation and he said he respects my decision and he regrets not having asked me out, and that it'll be difficult for him to let go but he's glad we're on good terms.
but still (2 months later) we keep having these small interactions on social media. i can tell he is still paying attention to me and i am also to him. I check his profiles every fucking day. Sometimes even while I'm with my bf. He doesn't know i have a boyfriend now. I think that would hurt him and he'd feel deceived. It's my responsibility but i also keep seeking out interactions with him and make it clear i still think about him. I look forward to like texting him next year to ask how he's doing.
i just feel so shitty. i know i should probably remove him from socials to minimize this and move on. but I don't. I want to hold the door open. It feels so good thinking back to us and fantasizing about what could've been. Our chemistry was so insane and talking with him felt good in so many ways. He's also really funny and I feel like there's more I like about him than my boyfriend for example. And yet I love my boyfriend fully for who he is and i want to spend my life with him. part of it might also be that i feel like im a difficult person to love and my boyfriend is so supportive and i don't think i'll find that in other guys. I'm scared that if i were to pursue somethign with the guy it'd fall apart or something or it'd be like i deceived him because i have so many issues. then again i also had those thoughts with my current boyfriend- and despite my worries we turned out really well.
my bf is so patient with me and understanding and loves me so much. its not like he's treaating me wrong and i'm missing something in the relationship… i just suck
I wish my bf would break up with me or something.. so i could have an excuse to pursue the other guy. But I know that won't happen. idk what to do. curious for opinions. i guess i want validation but i think its also good if someone tells me im just wrong for all this…
Anonymous 133678
Trust your instincts. Your boyfriend cannot satisfy you. Break up with him and ask the other guy out.
