/feels/ - disowning my entire family because they are extreme trads. advice?

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disowning my entire family because they are extreme trads. advice? Anonymous 10/16/26 (Fri) 08:04:34 PM133684

My family, including extended family, is extremely trad. Beliefs vary a little bit but for the most part women shouldn't go to college or vote, premarital sex is evil, dating around is evil, and not having kids makes you a whore. They're like christian jihadists essentially.

"Women's rights" wise my parents were actually better than my extended family because they wanted me to be educated and to work, they just wouldn't pay for any college. (They paid for my brother, lol). But my parents fucked it up for themselves because they beat me really bad and started calling me a whore the moment I got my period. Real Carrie shit. I still have an eating disorder because I was mostly fed their leftovers and just never developed an appetite. Just real bizarre shit. My point is, I have no familial ties to any of these people. Like they're just nothing to me.

My main obstacle is getting a job that pays enough. I'm on medicaid and am getting psychiatric help but it might be a long road to normalcy. I had a full time job once and had a nervous break that stopped me from sleeping for five days. I'm really scared to go back to work after that but I've tried a few part time jobs and gig work since then and I found a few things that I could cope with I think.

My main fear is that they come looking for me and start a lot of drama. Does anyone else have experience with this? Are they allowed to just stalk you in the USA if you're related to them?

Anonymous 10/16/26 (Fri) 08:08:42 PM133686

>>133684
thats fucked up nona. completely understandable you want to cut ties with them. are you still living with them?

>My main fear is that they come looking for me and start a lot of drama
honestly I don't know how much they will really care judging by how badly they treated you. I'd hope they wont go after you. But have you noticed them trying to be controlling/possesive over you before?

gl nona

Anonymous 10/16/26 (Fri) 08:18:45 PM133687

>>133686
I live with my grandma now and she's not violent or anything so can mostly be ignored. She went to college herself so is cool with me going and as long as she doesn't find out about my personal life I'm good. Its when family gatherings happen that shit goes south and people fight, or my parents brag about how bruised I'd get when they hit me. Thats when I get really fucked up for days.

I only see my parents on holidays now thank god. Even then I spend most of my time outside in the backyard or something.

Sorry I'm kinda venting again but idk I'm hopeful. I have more agency now than I ever have.

The problem is they believe they love me. They don't but they think they do. If I set an actual boundary about not wanting to see them anymore they'd probably get sad and try to guilt trip me or show up at my future apartment.

Anonymous 10/16/26 (Fri) 09:01:25 PM133690

>>133684
What you're talking about is protective order when its against family, and the details vary by state, but you have to provide proof of the abuse. Did you document any of it on your phone ? Do you have paperwork from therapists or school counselers who can vouch that they knew you were being abused? They can be locked up if they walk through a protective order

Anonymous 10/16/26 (Fri) 09:08:41 PM133691

>>133690
I spent my whole childhood trying to get that but never could get any adults on my side. My mom was wealthy and in a political position, I think she just had an insane ability to get people on her side.

I think my best bet is just moving really, really far. but she was recently fired for misusing company money so maybe I can use that somehow?

Anonymous 10/16/26 (Fri) 09:11:57 PM133693

>>133691
You're mom is extremely wealthy, in politics, part of a company but she thinks women shouldn't vote???

Anonymous 10/16/26 (Fri) 09:13:27 PM133694

>>133691
Unless they use financial leverage i dont see how they can make you do anything after the age of 18. You dont have to let them in your home, you can block them on your phone/ social media, and anyone who associates with them.

Anonymous 10/16/26 (Fri) 09:28:37 PM133696

>>133693
literally yeah. I don't get it either. it's not direct politics, but influences politics. many of the plastic surgery addicted maga ladies are the same way.

>>133694
i guess i can just call the police if my parents show up. but ehhh. a stranger broke in to my friends house and we had to fight him because the cops just thought we were all crackheads. i don't trust anyone.