/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I have learned to live with suicidal ideations as a recurring thing since I was a teenager, and I view suicide as an option if things get really bad with no chance of getting better. I distract myself with music, tv, and video games. I also have no friends

I feel like ive dealt with these thoughts to the point that I know I will not live to get much older, and am now treating my lifespan like I will most likely not make it past 30, like how most people live to 75 or 80

>>133910
I guess I just treat life like normal other than this, but it’s something ive never felt like i could share with anyone.

>>133852
i was suicidal for some time and even did some fucking stupid shit because of it, but now im mostly fine, even though recently i've been rethinking about it with no apparent reason.

I've always coped by distracting myself, either with the vidya, tv or movies and it has always worrked out.

I think that the best thing though is getting into an hobby that involves creating things, when i got into sewing i got wayyy less shitty thoughts and lived more happily, seeing your work improving is source of immense satisfaction.

You'll get better !

>>133852
Bad advice, but I just go full automated and I ignore what I feel until I explode and cry my eyes out.

>>133852
So, I don't actually know how to cope in a healthy way, so my advice is bias and only works for me because it's what I've adapted to. I'm not able to go to therapy because it's expensive (and I'm not even sure if I could convince myself to go anyway), so what I do is just reflect on my own suicidal thoughts and why I am the way I am. But that can drive me insane, so most of the time, it's really just me venting, and nothing productive is done about it.

But I would suggest journaling or keeping a digital diary so you have a way of getting your thoughts out of your head. It sounds cliche, I know, but I find that it works really well when you feel isolated as you bottle up these feelings and don't reach out to anyone. Please, please keep talking about your suicidal thoughts. Talk about why you feel the way you do, how it came to be. Write about the way you feel. It doesn't matter however you do it, just get it out there. This significantly helps and it will also make you feel lighter. Distracting yourself only works temporarily and will make you feel worse, if you only distract yourself.

Unironically find a hobby. If youve had suicidal thoughts for so long its become part of your identity. In my peak (or actually lowest of lows) i could only describe myself with physical characteristics because there was nothing more to my soul than the wish for death. Deciding to do anything remotely productive (such as studying) was extremely scary to me because it implied a future; which went against my whole identity!

Ive picked up a few hobbies. I can do my hobbies alone in my room, doesnt require me to go out or interact with people since that can be difficult for me when im feeling low. It not only distracts me but calms me and subconsciously makes me have the future in mind: i have a project to finish, i have to go to the store to buy x, etc.
The best hobby is when you create something, not passively consume.
Im not saying its going to fix everything but try it and see where it brings you. If you have difficulty thinking of something is there anything you used to do which you enjoyed? Or something youve always wanted to learn? Something that might be laying around that youve never used, etc. Lmk if you decide anything am curious

Also , you dont have to share your whole inner world with someone. “superficial” friendships are also good. If we were always talking about deep stuff with everyone that would get pretty tiring. Find some thing you can bond over with people and dont stress it tm

>>133983
This!!! Wonderfully said