im never going to happy or free Anonymous 133859
im not happy with my life, i struggle to be an average student. i feel so dumb. ive been trying to lose the same amount of weight for two years now. i havent gotten anywhere in my life. Ive grown up with super strict parents they sheltered me so much thoughout my whole life i havent been able to make lasting friendships. all i really want is friends. girls in school dont like me. i wanted to experience romance like other girls but i never could. one day when i was 16 i was being really dumb and i downloaded a dating app and started talking to guys because i really wanted to be validated. i wanted to be wanted. i wanted romantic attention. i secretly dated a 19 year old man and kept it secret from my parents. my parents hate me now theyre like super extreme. so i lost all my freedom and now everyone thinks im some whore. im still secretly dating that guy idk if its wrong but i want attention i dont have ppl close to me and he is the only one close to me. i cant trust anyone. now because my parents and family hate me cause im too much for them i have 9 months to move out but i dont have money or a stable income. my mom takes my goverment allowance and idk how to get it back and if i do it myself it will cause more issues with my family cause theyre super weird about money and stuff so i might be at risk of homelessless or something else bad if i do it without them knowing. im trying to keep the peace but im super stressed about money and what im gonna do. i wanna give up and run away with my bf. my fam has alot of restrictions on two of my devices like my ipad and phone cause they gotta track my location cause they dont trust me so i cant even fcking take them off that im on baby traps on my fucking phone i hate it. it pisses me off im technically an adult i cant buy a new phone cause i cant get a job cause i literally have no social skills and no experience with people cause my parents never let me outside. and like im trapped and theyre suddenly gonna js let me go in the world as like "oh fuck u since u wanna do whatever u want so bad, here be completely on ur own that waht u wanted right? to be independant" i dont have the skills. i barely know how to speak properly with people. i dont know what im gonna do. i hate everyone. i was never able to make friends growing up in school or after, my parents never let me out when i fought for my freedom it caused so many issues that i have to keep quiet so i dont end up homeless. nobody can help me. i dont know what to do with my life. i have no support system. why cant i be like every other girl? why do they get to have fun and date and go out with friends. all i wanted was a normal life but this is my life. im overweight, im ugly, im hairy asf i shave my face and body like everyday. i have no social life, im broke, i got nothing going for me. What do i do?
has anyone been in a position where they need to find housing in 9 months? how do you do it? Also what should i do to find help?
