New vent thread 21617
Old thread >>>/feels/18315
is at cap.
Gather here, O heartbroken, angry, or happy ones.
I don’t know why I’m still so hung up on my ex of 2 years ago. I need to talk it out with someone but I don’t know how to bring up that conversation. I feel like something hasn’t brought me enough closure, or maybe I haven’t finished healing. maybe because it’s Valentine’s Day coming up and it’s also he and his new gfs anniversary then too
>>21619>>21619>has had a bf
Stacy get out
At least tell us your secrets.
My autistic friend punched me in the face because I told her she is whiter than sour cream.
Her family is from Sweden, and as such she is blonde-haired, blue-eyed and has rosy white skin. She was going on about how she can’t relate to white people because she is Jewish. I was like what are you talking about? You’re a fucking Swede. Then we had a mild disagreement before I made the above statement, which ended in a swift punch.
Maybe I pushed the envelope but I’m super peeved about the bruise on my cheek. I don’t know if it’s me but it seems like every autistic friend I’ve had always uses violence to express their annoyance, even if they are “high functioning”.
Yuri Catgarin, Cat…
Sometimes, you can't get closure on things, and you just have to accept that what happened happened and move on. I have no idea what the situation was like, though, so I really can't give much advice or be that helpful.
(Copypastad frm old thread)
I feel so pathetic about crying over a job because they want to revisit the next steps after I graduate. Ik I posted on lolcow but god I feel so fucking pathetic crying about something that wasn't even guaranteed. It might not even a soft rejection and I'm just overreacting because they didn't give me an offer.
Shit hurts but I'll be better tomorrow. I just can't focus on my studying fuck.
I don't even know what to say to the company either. Ugh.
It was meant for >>21619
, I just messed up.
Sounds like an awful friend.
Good friends don’t punch other friends, even in disagreements. >>21623
From your post it seems like they havent
rejected you, which is good, right? It can get really frustrating job hunting, so don’t feel bad crying. I hope you felt better this morning. Let us know how the job application progresses, good luck <3
I know that if I die no one will care and it makes me very bitter. At the same time, it motivates me to stay alive so that may be a good thing.
we could've been such good friends…
i know there's a sea of people out there but damn finding someone with similar interests & background to your own is so difficult, for me anyhow.
but she's gone & there's nothing i can do about it. i've gotta suck it up!
holy fuck though.
I came to uni to make friends, relationships, get a social life etc
now Im here I realise I dont have the tools to do that, and if I did Im not really interested anyway. I dont want to make new friends, I kind of liked this one person and wanted to date them, but Ive gotten over it now I guess
I dont know why Im still here. Im not making friends and I really dont care about getting a degree
Same place, socially. Although I am here mainly for the degree.
I keep getting interested in people or even approaching them but then either fail or lose interest as soon as they also like me. What went wrong, anon? Hate being lonely but also hate being with others.
New vent thread 21648
Thanks anon! As predicted, I am always a baby the day something happens, but the day after I am totally okay. Wew.
They emailed back and said that they recruit (again? Was confused here) in the fall, so I'm guessing I passed the initial interview(s)? They also said to send my resume when I'm about to graduate and that they'll send it to the appropriate person. Weh. I guess it's not an outright rejection but I'm still a bit confused.
Thanks for the love, anon ♡ I hope everything is going well for you.
Where did you find this picture of me
I'm heartbroken and I just want a girlfriend because I'm tired of boys and their bullshit.
On Christmas my bf gifted me a decorative box. I was confused at first, but then he told me, he found it in a neighbours trashcan and thought it would make a cool gift.
I know men can be kinda stupid with gifts, but I was devastated. He got what he wished for from me as a gift and I got…trash.
Now it’s Valentine’s Day. I mailed his gift to him as I had to work and e-mailed him a valentines card. No reaction from him till evening where he complains that I didn’t tell him “happy valentines”. Told him I emailed him a card, he replies with “oh that’s supposed to be a valentines card? I didn’t understand it”. I checked the mail tracking and see that he received and signed my package. I didn’t even bother anymore to ask him about it as I realized that he didn’t get anything, not even a card for me.
I’ve come to the realization that he doesn’t give a flying tuck about me and I have to break up. Shit hurts man
I think your bf is in the right tbh. you sound very materialistic
Her bf gave her literal garbage and didn't thank her for the gift she gave lmao.
Some people have expectations in a relationship. Although I hate getting gifts and plan to express that in a relationship, it's understandable that some people want their favours returned as a sign of affection.
Anon, have you talked directly to your bf about this issue?
he saw a cool box, its not garbage just because its in the garbage. if someone walked past a skip and their just happened to be some shit they thought I would like, Id be happier that a person notices stuff I like rather than buying some shit from the store out of obligation
and it sounds like he didnt say thank you because she didnt wish him happy valentine, which he is upset about because he understands that hearing that is more important than some gift or shitty e-card
It doesn't sound like decorative boxes are of anon's specific interest though lol. Sure, if she was into…idk, vintage dolls and he found one and thought of her that would apply. But it seems as if he saw it and thought "good enough" rather than consider her at all.
I think they're both kind of in the wrong. But anon definitely needs to tell him her issue rather than just silently being bitter. Guaranteed he isn't a mind reader lol.
Love language is cheesy but I feel like it applies here and these two are speaking it differently. Maybe her bf prefers words of affirmation so he assumes that's what she likes too.
The box was a plain stationary box with roses printed on it available at any dollar store.
He bought for his bestie and parents regular gifts they would enjoy, I was with him and helped him choose em. He doesn’t have money issues and knew what I would spend on him as he had wished for that specific gift. I hope this explains a bit more.
Do you ever think this is just a passive aggressive jab at you personally? It seems you're caught up on these actions and junk, but I gotta admit I wonder how your relationship is for him to act this way also. Have you ever talked to him as to why he doesn't give you decent gifts? Is he aware this is something you desire? And I mean talk to him in a manner that doesn't come from anger at him and have it turn into an a fight where no one will listen to each others words and it's just an anger venting match. He clearly is capable of buying you decent gifts, but there has to be a reason he acts the way he does to you.
Part of this comes from personal experience, I've been treated like utter shit by people in past relationships. They would do nice things for me, but in the same vein they would also treat me like horrific trash to the point of trying to push me into suicide. So hand made thoughtful gifts and other dumb shit sounds cute and nice, but when every other day of the year was "Kill yourself you worthless piece of trash, this world would be better off without you." I'd gift them trash items because no one worth spending money on speaks to me like that no matter if they decide to get me cute gifts for my birthday/valentines day or whatever the fuck holiday.
Are you seriously going this far to justify his behaviour? The "gift" he gave her was literally found in the trash.
>love short men
>most want shorter women and there are plenty of those around
>even if he wants a taller gf he wouldn't like because I'm only 3-4" taller than him and he would leave me for someone taller
What's the point in living
>>21709>Giving someone insight on possibly why someone is acting shitty is justification of their behavior.
Stop jumping to conclusions. You're just trying to stir shit for no other good reason but to raise drama and argue with people. Clearly their relationship is a clusterfuck of non-communication because they are on totally two different wavelengths from each other. I care more about helping people understand each other than trying to incite anger and try to do a "who is right and who is wrong" argument.
And let me play devil's advocate for a second here, what even makes you think this person is telling the truth in the full spectrum of the events that happened. I've dealt with enough BPD assholes on the internet pretending what what they give for a viewpoint is a genuine and actual telling of the events that happened. "I do nothing but show unconditional love and do everything they want, and they reward me with nothing but abuse and heart break. They don't give a shit about me." that's all I read, and that's the key sign of a BPD story. They do everything right and all shitty actions of someone else is unwarranted and have no root cause to them because they are perfect and did no wrong.
But regardless, what I'm saying is clearly this person is actually capable of buying gifts at a store instead of dumpster diving as a insane cheap asshole who doesn't know better and prob has autism, if everything was told in 100% full truth. Since he's capable of doing simple tasks like a normal functioning human being, so clearly he's doing it on purpose for some ulterior motive. So if this person actually cares about salvaging the relationship, I gave insight on how to go about trying to fix it and perhaps better understanding each other so they can meet each others needs better. Instead of dropping a relationship because of a misunderstanding of another's emotions and needs.
>match on Tinder with a total fucking cutie
>end up going to a small restaurant in town for a date
>super excited because he seems great on paper (okay job, fit, hilarious, accomplished)
>awkward but serviceable in person
>reveals he doesn't make nearly as much as I expected he did
>end up having to pay bill because his card declines; huge red flag
>end up having to take an Uber because he "was getting a ride from his friend" (pretty sure he lied and got his own Uber, and if he did, how the fuck did he pay for it?)
>texts me not even an hour after I get home
>"hey had a great time, I'll pay next time I swear:)"
God, I don't want a next time. He really oversold himself and I hate him. This was my first time using Tinder. Is this what every experience is going to be like?
Okay, so what I'm getting from your post is, he never stated how much he made. You assumed and then got mad that he wasn't wealthy. I'm guessing that both of you are in your mid 20s to early 30s at the most, meaning neither of you have been working that long, but you're upset because his pocket wasn't as big as you had assumed? I don't care if you don't want to continue to see him. That's completely up to you and depends on your own values, but your post comes off immature and shallow. Kinda bitchy to hate someone for not being rich.
I agree with >>21721
Maybe he just paid some of his bills and was cleaned out but really wanted a date anyway (with you!). How did he oversell himself? By telling you his job/education? You really can't always tell by that.
And doesn't it feel nice to pay for food for a cute guy? Generosity is a good feel + you now have leverage over him. Paying on the first date is power.
Or are just a trad gal? If so perhaps you should only look for men explicitly into that.
>moved in with my boyfriend after 4 months together
>pretty fast but we seemed perfect for each other
>he is pretty sarcastic but never mean before
>on my first day here I bought a small bowl of potpourri and put on the table
>he got really mad, accusing me of 'being a typical woman who decorates everything'
>we had an argument
>the next day came home from work
>he had sarcastically decorated the entire apartment
>for example he had spray painted the words 'live laugh love' on every wall, on the wooden floor, on the toilet seat
>bought random twigs and branches and dog poop from outside and had them in a giant mixing bowl with 'fresh natural scents' written balanced on my potpourri bowl
>says 'OH I JUST DECORED LIKE A LADY'
>we have another fight and i end up breaking things off
>he is now mad at me and harassing me about this
What's with the BPD paranoia on certain internet circles? You people have no idea what BPD is. At this point it's just a hollow insult and a poor attempt to discredit the other person.
>>21730>for example he had spray painted the words 'live laugh love' on every wall, on the wooden floor, on the toilet seat>bought random twigs and branches and dog poop from outside and had them in a giant mixing bowl with 'fresh natural scents' written balanced on my potpourri bowl
I'm sorry anon, but were you dating a 14-year-old boy?
He sounds insane what the fuck.
You broke up and he's still
mad at you for…decorating the house? Good riddance.
Is he minimalist or something? If he has a hangup he should have addressed it before you moved in together.
Good on you for breaking things off, he sounds unhinged.
Y'know, mum, maybe you're tired, ill, achy and can't sleep ever because you're morbidly obese, obviously I can't say this but it's true so whatever.
i want to play fate/go since the plot seems interesting but i also just narrowly avoided spending 50 bux in hopes of rolling a character so i can enjoy his voice clips and animations…yeah. it's dangerous
also the gameplay isn't anything special, it requires a shitton of grinding, honestly just seems like a hassle.
probably just gonna seek out gameplay vids on yt & call it a day
Jesus Christ, what's his damage?
Good for you. He sounds like he could have been dangerous if he was there just another week.>for example he had spray painted the words 'live laugh love' on every wall, on the wooden floor, on the toilet seat>bought random twigs and branches and dog poop from outside and had them in a giant mixing bowl with 'fresh natural scents'
I would have called the fucking police.
There is no way in hell that this is real. Maybe I'd believe the thing about the dog poop,, but there is no way anyone would graffiti their own apartment just to make a statement.
Oh I know what BPD is. I lived with someone who had it for many years and it was an awful experience. But it's okay pretend you do nothing wrong, and BPD is an innocent mental illness that isn't human toxicity in it's purest form in an uncontrollable format.
Spoiler: All BPD is a cycle of enjoying someone in such blind faith that they don't realize any faults and put them on a pedastool. And then changing their view point after either some minor event or some uncontrollable change where they decide they are the worst person ever on earth and focus on nothing but their faults at all times and then proceeds to put themselves above those people. Acting as if they are somehow better than everyone else because in their warped mind, all they see is a pile of human flaws while viewing themselves as someone who at least has some good in them compared to others.
BPD is a awful mental illness and most of the people who are diagnosed with it all think they can "control" it but in reality they still act like ass hats to everyone but they are never aware of it and blame the people around them instead of themselves. Just like shitters in MOBAs. And seeing how you are defending this horrific illness and how it turns decent people into literal human monsters, I'm getting a good feeling you have it too and are completely unaware of how other people view you because no one defends BPD. Literally no normal human who isn't mentally ill.
today i took some random guys pamphlet under the assumption he was handing them out, we laughed about it and i gave it back but i know this is some shit thats gonna haunt me when im trying to live my life, why am i so socially retarded?
Oof, I've done that before. Honestly anon, everyone does it. Everyone has those social fuck ups that you look back on and wish you could rip out your jugular and just die right there so you can escape the reminder that you looked like an idiot in front of someone who prob forgot what you did after a week. You just gotta go on with life and accept that you make mistakes instead of holding yourself to a level expectation of being perfect. It's hard to view your own life objectively because you know when you fuck up, but a lot of times people who you barely know have fucked up too, but you aren't aware of it so you get a false sense of social perfection from everyone around you when it's not the case. That person you interacted with I'm sure laid a hot "you too" unto someone's lap when told "Enjoy your food" or "Enjoy X thing" when the service person has no intent of joining you in enjoying thing they wish you enjoyment in or even the spicy "Happy birthday" you too. It happens, you gotta try to accept this fact of life instead allowing it to eat you up inside in horrific shame.
nta but even though you accept your mistakes and get over them, others don't. they will forever remember that thing you said 5 years ago and insist on joking about it.
>>21731>You people have no idea what BPD is.
Yes, ok, and that has nothing to do with what the original anon was saying. There's no indication of BPD involved and you only brought it up to discredit that anon, which is pretty much the sole reason anyone even brings up BPD online.
Knowing one person with BPD doesn't give you a psychiatry license, you are not qualified to diagnose.
You sound like a shallow bitch. I can see why you wouldn’t date him due to his lack of a decent income, but to be rude and hate
him because of it? Wow.
I'm 99% my crush albeit long distance (and online!!) likes me and I feel 12 again.
I mean yes, I haven't met him yet but I've known him for about 2 years and my irl friend lives and works with him… so… it's not as terrible amirite? Plus I'm flying down in late April to visit my friends there (and him too, what a bonus!)
But I'm nervous because what if he thinks I'm uglier irl lmao. Fack.
Ass mad BPD. I brought it up because the person I was replying to was trying to force me to take a side in the situation and live in an ignorant world of absolutes. So I was showing them an example where their belief of absolute could be possibly totally wrong, because of their blind faith in the fact that the original poster was telling the total truth.
A lot of BPD people tell stories that they believe to be true in their eyes as they are telling it, but in a objective light of both parties, the story is radically different and often a clusterfuck of a situation and it isn't as black and white as "They did x thing and I did nothing. They are wrong and I am right.". You can't blindly defend some anon on the internet was my point because they could be seeking another's validation in their belief system and since the internet is an echo chamber of ignorance I refuse to support such a god awful thing. This is how we get anti-vax mothers in 2019 and people who genuinely believe the earth is flat. They get told what they want to hear and that they are right rather than what the truth really is.
anon look:>He bought for his bestie and parents regular gifts they would enjoy, I was with him and helped him choose em.>I was with him and helped him choose em
how much of this was you guiding your lil' bitch to the store and making him buy stuff? maybe he doesn't care about gifts at all.
how often are you disappointed by them? how often do you put in the effort for this sort of thing? you can't really force someone to like something.
you may be in a fantasy world regarding this person and you're putting your self on them.
i wouldn't play the bpd card like this anon >>21715
but maybe re-evaluate your role here and also think real hard about if your SO is actually a piece of garbage.
>>21778>I swear I don't have BPD, that's why I'm trying to defend it so hard.
Just stop. No one actually defends BPD unless they have it and they always try to hide it because everyone knows your opinion literally doesn't matter if you have BPD because it's so horrifically biased and uninformed it's about as useful as a politician's integrity.
i swear i picked the wrong hobby to be invested in. i guess its easy to say that since i dont know the communities within other hobbies, and every hobby community has its faults for sure, but art has to have the worst fucking people ever. i know im generalizing but the recent happenings on twitter with "dont give unsolicited critiques on my art!!" is making me go insane. its not even so much the general idea at this point. it just reminds me all these people have incredibly fragile egos and its no longer about discussion and thinking about art and improving yourself. its clout and asspats. i even knew this when i was 12ish when i first entered the art scene, people who believed theres always room for improvement were considered "bullies". but some of these tweets are either outright hypocritical or just pathetic(your art isnt even GOOD enough to warrant criticizing MINE or you dont pay me so dont give your opinion!!!) ive found very, very few artists who feel the same way as i do. and those who do either dont engage in the community or dropped art all together for hobbies that may have healthier people or careers that are more promising.
wow you're either retarded or a baiting incel, so I guess you're retarded either way
You are right about art being a bad community but it's like… every artistic pursuit, not just traditional art.
I realized there's this problem. Like, when I do my fitbit people can see how many steps I've done and that's a number that can't be denied, so people you know, they aren't afraid to be like "yeah, pump that number higher, improve, work hard" or give you shit if you slack off. And it's the same I guess for hard sciences and whatnot, you know, it's like, you're building a cabinet, is it level or is it not?
But even something like cooking it's just subjective enough that it's "not to your taste" even if it's raw or way too sweet or burned. And writing, and painting, and drawing, it's all the same. And people get so defensive because they have these ideas built up in their head that, like, "No, I'm actually good, no one can measure me (unless the measurement I like)" and they get angry if they are measured.
For someone who says others have dichotomous thinking, this is amusing. No one was defending BPD, you just brought it up unprompted and with no reason.
Literally the point of devil's advocate. To make a counter point out of a possibly realistic situation to just make the point of the flawed thinking of trying to accuse others of "justifying giving trash gifts." And then it leads to trying to argue that I have no idea what BPD is. Literally defending it as if a person with BPD isn't the worst person in existence.
Get some reading comprehension. You all are trying to move goal posts and can't even understand a hypothetical as to why you shouldn't be siding with someone whose story can be just a made up fucking lie or an extremely exaggerated truth. And then proceeding to trying to shit on someone who gives a non angry counter point as to why someone is acting like a piece of shit. You know for such "high level emotional" beings that everyone on this board brags about over men, when being given the idea of what another's persons emotions are and their standing are, you all can't understand that simple viewpoint and perhaps it isn't a "you have to defend x or y side." The moving of argument points at this point trying to derail my original point is a joke and at this point I'm baiting you retards who are just looking for a fight.
I work at a specialty grocery store that sells prepared foods which we serve to customers. Part of our selling practices is to give out samples to customers who have their eye on a certain food to encourage them to buy it.
We have several old ladies (yes, each and every single one of them is an old ass white lady) that come in and ask for samples of food, but never buy anything. All of the employees recognize them because they come in almost every single day (presumably they live in the surrounding neighborhood) and laugh behind their backs about it. There's one particular lady who will ask for a specific combination of salads in a single cup at a time like "can you give me a single leaf of that kale salad over there with one small piece of chicken salad on top? Oh, and add about a tablespoon-full of that isreali couscous on top too. No, that's too little, maybe a few more pieces," then walks out the front door as soon as she gets it.
Yesterday I was feeling grumpy and she came in with that particular order (it's always a different combination every time) and I had a very strong urge to tell her to go fuck herself. I feel like such a petty asshole for being bothered by this, since I know it's not my business or my food being wasted.
It's not a big deal and I know people are probably going to tell me to get over it, just thought I'd vent a bit about petty bullshit, lol.
My bf is usually sweet and gentle, but at the end of last year he started to get really mean. I don’t know what happened. He works from home and he thinks that me asking him to spend two hours at night with me each day is too much. I don’t bother him during the day. We don’t always go to sleep together and it bothers me. Last night I thought he’d be coming to bed but he sat at his computer working, talking to his friend about his job. When I complained he said “why can’t you just leave me alone? I have things to do and I can’t because you say (high-pitched mocking voice) ‘spend time with me.’” It felt like a punch in the gut. I don’t understand why he gets so nasty when we fight. I want to stand up for myself but it makes him angrier. I’m so fucking tired of it. I’ve never treated him like this in all the years we’ve been together. What’s worse is he turns it around on me and says that I’m mean when all I did was make a bitter, petty comment about how he could stay with me instead of talking to his friend.
Are you also working? If so he has no reason to act like it's life or death and he MUST work every waking minute.
Sounds like a weenie.
I don’t want to admit this because I’m afraid people will judge me, but he supports me. I was against it in the beginning but he kept insisting. He wanted me to quit my job so I could focus more on school, because at that time we were long distance and he wanted me to transfer to be close to him. So now I’m finishing my last semester online and am preparing to transfer to schools in his city. Knowing that he supports us, I shouldn’t complain. But I’m doing school all day and make sure not to bother him when he’s working all day. It’s only around the late hours of the night (10-12) that I ask to just spend some time together before sleeping.
I’m being pretty immature and huffy and moved to sleep on the floor while he was asleep. He got up and just ignored me and then went back to sleep. I feel so shitty right now. I looked back on our old texts when we were ldr and it’s full of him dumping me when we fight and then getting back together with him promising he’ll never do it again only to do it month after month. It happened in December and January too. Then he gets bothered by my fears of him leaving. Everything is starting to make me anxious, realizing how he treats me when we have bad fights. I don’t think this is acceptable but I love him and I don’t think I have the balls to leave.
Sorry for the novel
My crush told me he loved me and that he couldn't wait for me to visit his city. Granted, he was drunk, but when I asked him I could pretend he never sent it, he said it didn't bother him (!!)
He would jokingly say "ily" a few times but never like this. He is always nice to me too.
I'm smiling but of course I'm also skeptical. Did he mean it?? I'm also the online crush anon >>21768 if that helps to add comtext…
i booked an improv class in hopes maybe itll help my confidence and anxiety à la exposure therapy, but now im freaking out about going. being around people is so hard for me i feel like i cant breathe and like im going to pass out, i already asked someone if they can go in place of me and they said sure if i still cant work up the courage to go. i dont know what to do i just wish i was normal
friend. I love you. I used to think like you and I know this is a venting thread but still. You can start something. Will you be a mozart at anything? no probably not but you can still enjoy your life more than you are now.
This is going to sound crazy but you'll enjoy it more when you keep putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. Not unsafe situations but just uncomfortable. Those are when you'll grow and when you'll look back and think about how much you've grown.
I'm so weird. I don't know how to appear normal. I feel like an alien whenever I go outside and I can sense people looking at me. I'm in paranoia Hell.
Is there a way to see when a thread is at the post limit besides attempting to post? I had the last thread open for 10 days after it filled up because I just figured the lack of posts was due to slow traffic.
>>21640>I really dont care about getting a degree
I don't know about the university situations of other countries, but if you're in America, my advice to you is to leave, in that case.
College is difficult, and if you don't have a fire in your heart you'll likely not be able to complete enough work to get the degree, which means you won't have any help in getting a job to pay off the large amount of debt you will have accumulated.
Friends are nice and all, but not $10k/year nice. College isn't worth it if you don't want the degree.
trying to do small programming projects, refine my art skills, do well in my classes and balance my part time job
I don’t know how normies can manage doing all the things and not feel overwhelmed, I don’t want to give up my small programming projects since I need it for my resume and art keeps me sane :/
She is the standard amount of materialistic. Some people are fine without gifts and/or being excessively thrifty, but it's not usual and it sounds like her and her bf are at the very least incompatible.>>21661
That said, I think you should try talking to him and explaining how you feel, if you haven't done so already. Hanlon's razor and all that. He may be willing to change if he realizes you want him to.
>play with siri cuz bored
>remember cringy joke friend made in class
>remember and want to give piece of mind becuz wtf
>ask siri to call cringy joke firend
>siri calls guy i dated instead twice
>me realize they have similar names fug
>fug go back i do not want fuck you siri
>nervoussss now because i do not want to call nor have intention
How do I fix please…? I havent texted in almost a month because they rejected me but claim want to be friends which i don't mind unless if they truly want it and I don't care since it was only a few 2 dates
All i wanted to was to five a friend a piece of my mind fug me
Mmmm don't drink and text/dial
Were you drinking alone? If you’re drunk without other drunk people around to socialize with that’s probably going to lead to you being embarassing on your phone or worse, social media.
>tfw always wanted to do theatre
>always loved the energy of plays and all the work everyone puts into it
>tfw i have extreme anxiety and social anxiety, cant karaoke with the closest childhood friends without being intoxicated and even then i tense up, sweat a lot
i just wanna try a new cool thing in college to make friends and do something ive wanted to do since i was little. but i dont want to be a burden/hard to deal with for the theatre department and students because i have baggage!!
>>22035>anxiety and social anxiety
Do you think you might be able to handle it better if you played a role on-stage in which you wore a mask, to kind of separate yourself from your performance?
There are also plenty of off-stage support roles in theater if it's more about being a part of the production for you.
Im in the uk so the goobermans is paying lol
i got a degree in acting. people in theatre are usually very nice and accepting. things can get catty but if you're a cool person then most people will be very supportive (unless you get cast in a role that you don't fit or can't handle then people will be pretty hard on you if they feel like youre bringing the show down which most likely won't happen unless the director is blind or dumb.)
also what >>22037
said. there are a lot of backstage work to be done and people will be very thankful for you. plus you don't have to perform so doing fly work or running crew is fun.
I hate that I'm still living with my mother. My older sister is moved out and is already married and with a wonderful career.
Meanwhile, I'm stuck making minimal wage trying to just get my career going, but I'm tied down at home taking care of my ailing father with my mother. I love my family and my place is here and I would never abandon them but goddamnit if I don't feel like screaming some days. I can't even go out because my mother needs all the help she can get keeping my father clean, cooking and cleaning around the house. It's so suffocating.
It's your home, anon. There's no shame in living there. You probably just need to get out more and not just run away. It's better than leaving it all to the vultures.
i'm shit at my job. i dont have the social skills to be a server and i'm clumsy. yesterday i knocked over the mop bucket everywhere and dropped a tray. i was shaking, i'm too nervous for this shit.
i'm working the dinner service tonight which is even more hard. more alcohol and i dont even know how to pour a beer.
You can do it, anon. With hard times comes experience, and with that comes betterment. I believe in you.
Restaurants were too much for me, I would recommend those cafeteria-style places that take tips because it's the same pay for easier work.
masks i think would definitely help.. i didnt think of that(obv i wouldnt be able to bank on always doing a masked role but still). also i love the suggestion of backstage work! i completely forgot about that but it sounds like a lot of fun, im gonna look into that soon. thank u guys, helped a lot honestly.
>reply to person on twtw
>check details of my tweet out of curiosity
>one profile click
>starting worrying if they muted me
i feel sad
I'm just so fuckign salty about something related to my recent breakup and I don't know how to get over it because it's out of my influence and technically I should never have to even think about it again but fuck
Browsing the LinkedIn of your old classmates is suicide fuel.
Thanks anon. You're right. It feels better already having just vented.
OH GOD I found a paper in my dorm room left there by someone and MY ROOM WAS AN ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING MESS AND THEY SAW ALL OF IT
I am so ashamed of myself, I am never going to leave my room like this again EVER GODdammit.
What's the thing making you salty anon? Break-ups can take months to process and come with so many emotions.
Be sure to get out there, and make some friends!
Do people still use LinkedIn? I never actually used it but I figured it had gone the way of Facebook.
But I feel you, hearing about my high-school and college classmates careers / personal lives hits me like a bag of bricks. Even if I'm happy for them why didn't I have the drive to get there, too…
It's one of those things "you're supposed to use" but nothing ever comes out of it.
Different anon, but for you have resources to leave? If you are telling the truth, that's an awful situation to be in. And tbh, your boyfriend sounds controlling from the start in guiding you to not work, live with him, and focus on studies. He may have just had a really positive outlook at the start and been like "yeah, I'm totally going to work to support my baby and take care of her" But maybe the reality has hit and he's bitter.
Or, maybe there's something you're leaving out? But even then, it feels like both of you are really unhappy and need to make a concentrated effort to find middle ground or break up.
I'm sorry you're in this situation and I hope you guys can find a good (or not awful) solution.
>>22141>Do people still use LinkedIn? […] I figured it had gone the way of Facebook
People still use Facebook. Not as many as Twitter and Instagram, maybe, but still quite a lot. It's not like Myspace or Google+.
The effectiveness of LinkedIn in getting business connections is dubious. Obviously it must be happening or the platform wouldn't exist, but I don't think I've ever known anyone personally who has used it to great effect.
My brother paid for his house using LinkedIn as a sales tool
My mom is that mom
. You know - runs the bake sale, manages the pot luck, invites all the new neighbors over for dinner, etc., etc.
Of course she also runs the facebook group for my high school class and for my university alumi class year. Naturally.
I feel like every week is,
"Remember Becky from HS? Her baby shower is next week!"
"Remember Tracey from college? Her wedding rehearsal is next week!"
"Remember Rick from High School? His mother told me he just sold that little company he started 2 years ago for over a million dollars, can you believe it? His wife is expecting their second. It's funny to remember how much of a crush he had on you back then!"
She doesn't even realize it hurts to hear. When she asks I tell her I am doing what I want and, god bless her, she believes me.
Ever since I had a falling out with one of my best friends (it's a long story but she ended our friendship over something small and easily mendable), I've felt like I no longer have anyone I can count on anymore since everyone else is either busy with their lives or just a plain flake. I still have my boyfriend but there's just some things that are more fun to discuss with female friends. I don't feel bitter or angry towards anyone, I just feel a bit lonely…
I agree with this. Some of the best gifts I've ever given, and gotten, were acquired for a low price (if not for free), but they were exactly the kind of thing I or the receiver wanted. I think people attach too much value to money when buying a good gift. Buying expensive gifts are a cheap way to get out of buying someone a gift that's actually thoughtful, since, with enough money, you're bound to buy something the person will appreciate. But there are some things that you'll just see for a low price (if not free) and you think "oh, X will love this" and you get it for them, and it's not even a birthday or Christmas gift, it's just a gift. Unfortunately my opinion on gift giving is very anti-consumerist, and as a result it's just another one of my many beliefs that have isolated me and made it impossible for me to form any real friendships.>>22149
If you're like me then I'm guessing it hurts because you hear all these fantastic stories while you yourself feel anything but. What your mum tells you are the highlights of these people's lives. There are no doubt a lot of details they aren't telling your mum because no one likes to let people know their weaknesses, they don't want people knowing where they've failed. Try and think to your own achievements that people talked about, if you've had any, and think about how little they mean in the grand scheme of your life.
For example, I did very well in high school and university. In the end, all of my academic success meant nothing because all I learned was the curriculum, never the vital skills and experiences humans need in order to make friends, socialise, and actually succeed in real life. I'm slowly grasping that, it's very hard, and it's demoralising. I always acted humbly when my parents boasted my achievements (I hated them doing this), I knew that my academic achievements came with a bucket of other flaws. The grass only seems greener. That friend who sold his business for a million might kick himself when it's worth hundreds of millions in the future, the friends getting married with kids may well end up with a devastating divorce a few years later, I'm not saying to wish for these things, but nothing stays good forever, not for anyone.
You'd be surprised how many people in theatre have baggage too. They're generally a very open and accepting bunch, and may be able to relate to you.
I have several friends for whom theatre has been a transformative experience, in one case helping her to not just deal with, but actually cure her anxiety.
Furthermore, the simulation of human behaviour and emotions is of great help for the socially awkward and the aspergerish inclined.
So go for it girl! And if being on stage seems too daunting at first, take up a backstage role like others suggested. You'll still be part of the community and reap these rewards.
I think I'm becoming a functional alcoholic and I don't know what to do. I never used to drink this much – but I started drinking about two weeks ago and I feel so much better after a shot or three. Currently speaking, I am drunk. I'm a bit depressed and very stressed from school as I hate what I'm studying, but can't switch because I only have one more term before I graduate. I would rather slit my wrists and/or perform hara-kiri than sit down and do my assignments. This is how much I hate my major. It causes me so much pain but like I said before, it's better to grit my teeth and take it in the ass for this fucking degree.
This major makes me question my so-called intelligence and while my other major friends tell me everyone feels this way, I can't help but call bullshit since they're the ones getting 80% on courses whereas I am super content with a \geq 50%.
I'm in perpetual hell and drinking is the only thing that helps, I noticed. I have friends, activities and I probably look "normal" in other's eyes, albeit quiet and withdrawn. I just want to die, and whether that's the alcohol speaking for me or not, it just seems like life won't get better. It just gets shittier and shittier and I just want to crumple down into nothingness.
>>22197>it's better to grit my teeth and take it in the ass for this fucking degree.
If you hate your major so much, as opposed to just school in general, then do you think you'll find any joy in doing the kind of job that your degree will get you, anyway?
I need to be practical an need to pay off decently large student loans. Thankfully my major is "useful" enough for me to get a job where I lack some experience. It's not like passion for some subject X guarantees job satisfaction.
*in a field where I lack experience
I’m super fucking horny and I don’t wanna tell my partner because they’re stressed af atm so I’m trying to give them space to get shit done but PMS is a fucking bitch ass like holy shit I feel like I’m going crazy
lmao maybe sex will calm him down
Don't act desperate. Be seductive.
Nah he’s very much the “leave me to my gubbins” type. I could “self help” but it’s not the same :(
Just gotta distract myself with my work and I keep meditating. What is life.
You need to seduce him, anon. It's the only way for this not to end in disaster. Give him the V.
I know this feeling. Hang in there. "Self Help" really isn't the same, you're right, but at the same time it sucks when your partner's not into it.
its another "loving couple has their first time with each other" episode
Thank you, friend, for that. I know it is only the best bits. But it hurts because I have no highlights. Getting married? I haven't spoken to a man who wasn't a co-worker in months. Babies? The only time I was kissed was in High school when a boy was dared to kiss a girl - and I dream about that
I get up, shower, dress, go to work, eat lunch, work more, go home, microwave something, and watch British police dramas. My mother cajoled me into going to a singles event before Christmas and it scared me. I know I am getting into terrible habits, isolating myself, losing what tiny interpersonal skills I ever had, but hard. I just want to love and be loved but I am more and more trapped inside my head and inside my apartment.
you're very kind, but I fear there is a time limit before I am sealed off like Fortunato.
I dont want friends. but I want to want friends? anyone else know this feel? Ive never seen anyone talk about this
interacting with other people just does nothing for me. I see other people with their friends and feel like I must be doing something wrong because theyre having so much fun doing something that has no affect for me…
I kind of get this, to a lesser degree. I have friends, and I enjoy being with them when I'm with them, but I've never met anyone whose company I enjoyed enough that I would go out of my way to spend time with them. If I don't happen to be in the same place as my friends for some other reason, like school, I don't see or talk to them at all.
It doesn't bother me for the most part; I'm pretty content being alone. But I like the idea of having someone to love, and I'm concerned that my disposition would make that difficult. I've never felt attracted to anyone I've personally known, romantically or otherwise, and even if I did, I'm concerned that I wouldn't be able to give them as much attention as they would need in a relationship.
I'm holding out hope that the right person will make me want to be around them, but it's still just a hope.
it's not just hope that matters, anon. It's your ambition that will get you there. Seek them.
Why would a crush who apparently reciprocates my feelings call me his favourite person to talk to, but never actually really initiate conversations? If I don't initiate, there's no conversation… Either he's only "interested" when he needs a quick self-esteem boost or he's just as boring as he says he is. There's no winning. I'm just sick and tired of always initiating anything.
Just another autist, I suppose. Everybody has something to say. He's probably not very confident in himself on holding a conversation. Give him the green light.
He probably doesn't have anything to say or is afraid of appearing clingy.
I know that judging by objective standards I shouldn't be comfortable at all but regardless of that I'm quite narcissistic in love with myself.
It might be a "If I was to talk with someone, I'd rather it be you" kind of thing. How much does he socialize with others in general?
He may just be a loner, the kind who is happy to talk if others want to, but doesn't really have a desire to go out of his way to contact anyone.
There's a high chance he's not even aware he's doing it. Men can be staggeringly dumb about social situations, or like others said, he could be worried about seeming needy.
helicopter parents are so creepy. i walk past this playground after uni every day, and the parents are always at most 1 step behind the child at all times, it look so weird and uncomfortable. sit tf on the benches literally less than 3 meters away and let your kid interact with the other children normally instead of constantly breathing down their neck.
i found out my dad committed suicide on tuesday. he killed himself on thursday, but i didn't find out until tuesday, through my aunt, who only found out via social media. my usual means of coping is to repress everything and isolate myself. i am trying to act against that, but it feels like i am failing. i have no friends in real life, only online; these online interactions feel devoid of any meaning now more than ever. i tried to make social plans with a former friend i went to high school with, and an online acquaintance i have been trying to meet in real life. they both cancelled on me (albeit for understandable reasons). i swallowed my pride and reached out to my ex telling him what happened, just to interact with someone i know in real life. he ignored me.
my mom is a severely mentally ill drug addict and has been for more than half of my life. she's not sober, and i don't know if she will ever get sober. if she ODs and dies, i will be an orphan. i have achieved nothing, my life amounts to nothing tangible or worthwhile. i vacillate between a numb static, and the physical act of crying, with no grief or sadness behind it. i don't know where to go from here, or how to build a real life for myself. i will be 22 on monday; i am such a stunted and inept bumbling womanchild that i could be an incel's wet dream of a strawman.
where do i go from here? how do i build a real life? how do i learn to respect myself? why should i even bother? nihilism feels self indulgent and juvenile, but i legitimately cannot see a point to any of this anymore. i'm not necessarily suicidal, i'm just so unbelievably tired of everything.
nothing seems to help, and i feel more alone than i ever have before.
I am so sorry about your father.
I can completely understand what you mean about online friendships feeling hollow at that point. I don't really know what to do either, but just know you're not alone. I really truly sympathize. And you're not the only one on this board at this hour either. Stay strong. Take care of yourself. Find something, anything, to sink your passion into and dive into it when you feel ready.
Anon, I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sorry your dealing with all these shitty overwhelming things all at once. I know it’s stressful, lonely, and like there’s no escape now. I know you must feel so run down, tired, and drained. No one to turn to and you feel like your going to feel like this forever, but you’re not, trust me. I know it sucks now, but I want you to know that in a few years time, all these horrible situations will feel like a distant memory, you’ll have moved on from all these shitty situations, have a non-stressful life, and home of your own. I can’t imagine how numb and in shock you must feel finding out about your father. That’s no way for you to find out. And the stuff with your mom, it must be exhausting. You’re 22, it’s not too late, far, far, from it. You still have so much life left. You think you haven’t accomplished anything? You have all the time in the world to do that, you could accomplish something in a few years. You aren’t nothing. You are just waiting to bloom. There’s no rush, its not a race. You’ll be there before you even know. Just dont give up, even though you really want to and think it might be easier to (it’s not).
I’m telling you this because I went through a very similar time at your age and I wish more than anything now, years and years later, that someone had told me that back then. Do whatever it takes to change your situation. Get a job, save money, move out, go to a different city, meet new people, create a new, better life. Do things you enjoy and focus on yourself. Find someone to talk to, a therapist? At least, to just simply vent to. I just want you to know things get better, even though they seem like right now they never will, they actually really do. Just don’t give in to nihilism and numbness, you’ve come this far, don’t give up now. If you could make it through, what I can guess, was a very difficult 22 years, isn’t it worth it just to try for a few more to reach the life you know you desperately want? I really wish someone had told me that in my time of need when I was younger, but like you, I had no friends. Someone to tell me it’d all pay off and all this suffering and loneliness wouldn’t last, to not give up hope. So I’m telling you bc I think you need to hear it. Later on, you’ll look back and be thankful you didn’t give up. All these shitty things that are happening to you now will shape you into the person your going to grow into, it will mold you into an emotionally strong person with maturity and life experience to help you deal with any hurdles in your way. I hope this isn’t too ranty, but i can relate so much to how you feel. Just want you to know that it really does gets better and I’m sorry you have to deal with feeling like this now. Take some time for yourself right now, you deserve it. Don’t rush it, the rest of the world will wait.
You have my condolences.>i am such a stunted and inept bumbling womanchild that i could be an incel's wet dream of a strawman.
You're only turning 22. Better to have a quarter life crisis than a mid life one is what a counselor once told me, heh. There are people who have made it into the history books that had achieved nothing at 22. At the same time, most people's lives don't amount to anything tangible or worthwhile. Even so, you should bother because you're worth it even if only to yourself - you're all you have. Everyone dies alone.
This is sometimes posted: https://ashspace.org/contribs/carthago_deleta/living_as_a_suicidal.php
you're right that i shouldn't give in to the numbness and pseudo nihilism. this post really helped remind me what i've been striving towards before the news about my dad. i was working towards moving out and going to college, before i found out. i'm going to continue to work towards them once i've processed some of my grief.
i decided to go to a sort of hippie community church for support, since reaching out didn't seem to work. they have sunday services but they are kind of progressive and non denominational. i've heard that they are very welcoming and accepting. that should help with how alone i feel. i deleted my discord and social media so i can stop numbly scrolling and refreshing, and focus on reading (and maybe making art, if inspiration should find its way to me). i was just venting, im not going to give up. succumbing to some perceived meaninglessness or nothingness feels cheap to me. i just needed to expel some of my stress and grief without feeling like a burden, or getting reactions which indicate that someone doesn't know what to say. >>22265
thank you for your condolences.>>22269
thank you, anon. i know it's silly and irrational to feel like i will never amount to anything when i am still so young. i appreciate all of you anons' support and kindness so much.
i will be ok. i will not give up. i know i am far more resilient than i feel right now.
why are you ignoring me? did i do something wrong? you said i could talk to you but last time i did you said you were busy. are you still busy? why can't you just tell me what's going on? i need to know, please at least let me know what's going on. i'm so confused and sad. i just want to know what's happening. i don't understand
>Prepared, pretty confident I will do well
>Shitty phone reception
does anyone have friends or SOs that just… spend way too much time on their phones. like i never considered myself some kind of boomer that hated darned kids and their technology but… my boyfriend is attached to his phone. i beg him to not use it while hes driving but he still does. he cannot do anything, whether it be going out and visiting cool places on vacation, studying, movies, even video games if a loading screen comes up he’ll stop playing for like half an hour because he gets glued to his phone. its.. unhealthy and now its getting under my skin. once we went up north and hiked around a beautiful area with our friends and he just stopped and went on facebook for 10 minutes, and then periodically checked, not at all taking in the cool sights or engaging in our conversation. it just seemed rude and even our friends were put off by it. ive tried talking to him over and over about lessening screen time but he just says yeah i will and never does. i cant even have a conversation with him anymore really. does anyone else know someone like this and do you know why theyre like this and if theyll stop? its so annoying..
How old is he? People that are becoming adults now were only 6 years old when the iPhone was first released.
My guess is that it's a symptom of parents spoiling their young children by giving them smart devices, and they then grow up attached to these devices. In another 5 years, there will be adults who will have lived their whole lives without any memory of a time where they didn't have a smartphone within arm's reach.
Spending a lot of time with tech is one thing, and can be expected given the current societal climate, but if he's unable to go without it even when using it ends up inconveniencing him or those around him, I think that's approaching addiction territory.
You could always try the hardass approach and buy him a cheap flip phone, and tell him to use that for calls and texts for a couple months. At least that way his time on Facebook and whatnot would be restricted to just when he can be at a computer.
Ultimately though, it'll depend on making him see it as a serious problem rather than just an annoyance. If not a problem for him, then at least a problem for your relationship. It wouldn't surprise me if he's thinking of it in the same non-committal terms as "I should probably eat less junk food" and other such things where one acknowledges that they have a bad habit but they still don't really
intend to do anything about it.
>>22341>while hes driving but he still does
Okay, that's just like really bad as in unsafe. If something were to happen, lives would be changed forever. You wouldn't let a friend drink and drink so…
The phone is getting in the way between him and you big time. Maybe you can try to phrase it in a way where you want what's best for him instead of coming off as nagging. Is Facebook more important than making memories with the person right next to you? It wouldn't even be as bad if he was a selfie stick slut.
when do you think its too late to make friends at uni? Im nearing the end of my second year and basically just go to lectures, gym and straight home. I dont interact with my flatmates or anything either…
Whenever I meet new men as potential friends, even if they seem genuine, empathetic, etc.
My mind jumps to me getting brutally sexually assaulted. They are always stronger, taller, more capable in terms of being able to crush me physically. Is it only social structure that prevents them from doing this? I just hate being alive.
I don't think it's ever too late. Every semester you have different classes and multiple new pools of people from which to make friends.
I didn't really make any friends until my second year, either.
>>22347>Is it only social structure that prevents them from doing this?
Yes, but yes in the sense that it's only social structure that keeps cops from deciding to draw their sidearm and shoot everyone in the room on a whim.
In a purely physical sense, almost everyone is dangerous to you. Even someone smaller and weaker could deal a lot of damage to you before you manage to subdue them, if they went all-out. Like a ratel fighting a lion. Not to mention they could have or acquire a weapon to make up the difference.
Having a real fear of everyone you meet in person, or even a large amount of them, is unhealthy because it hurts your ability to function in society.
It sounds like an issue you should talk to someone about, professionally.
Working out and building your own strength might also make you feel a bit better about it, and would still benefit your health anyway even if it didn't change how you feel.
Yes and no. You'll never be able to make the friends you could've had, but you can still befriend some people.>>22347
Find a guy that has an aversion to blood and hates horror movies/gore.
I dont know how it works in other places, but the people dont change. everyone on the same course takes identical modules here. Ive seen the same faces in every lecture every day since the start of uni
Ah, in the US the order in which you take classes is not so relevant as a whole, as long as you get all your credits, so you end up with two people going for the same degree taking the same class at different times, or even taking different classes for the same credit.
Even if it's still the same pool of people, I doubt your lectures are small enough that people would actually know you as "that one who doesn't talk to anyone." I think you've still got a shot at making friends.
Of course, you'll have to take the first step and make a point to talk to the other people in your class. Friends aren't just going to fall into your lap.
Not that miner but I don't feel confident these ideas will work. If you read that miner's vent more closely she says it doesn't matter how they act, it's sort of a neurosis in her own mind.
I think >>22353
offers the best advice. The only way to build up mental self confidence is with success. She needs do some workout, maybe even take a self defense class or see a therapist. It's not a healthy mental state to be frequently (sounds like every day) picture yourself as a victim of assault.
Even if she found one boy who didn't scare her or if she started volunteering at a preschool to be around non-threatening males she can push over with one finger, that won't solve her problem of fearing most
its fairly small. I recognise pretty much everyone, so they probably are aware of me. I dont know how to talk to people in lectures tbh. the way its set up here the lecturer talks straight for the whole thing, then everyone leaves. it baffles me how/when all of them made friends with each other lol
What if you get there a few minutes early and start talking to the people sitting next to you before the lecture starts, over a period of a few days or weeks?
the idea of this is p scary, especially this late when everyone already has friend groups sorted. Ive never "cold approached" someone, only ever made friends accidentally basically…
I don't think developing an ego is the best idea in this situation. Nobody actually seems to threaten her, so it would probably be safer to just knock down the social barrier than barbwire it. Just try talking to the scary people. >>22367
Cold approach is best approach. You can do it, anon.
i think i'm done with being gender critical and stuff. like i still don't really consider trans folk the opposite gender but i'm just gonna quit thinking about them. let them do what they want.
i mean, you can be gender critical without being obsessive. i don't care what they do, but i'm not gonna go along with silly gender neutral shenanigans or blindly trust men in dresses
>>22369>let them do what they want
To themselves, sure. The point where it becomes an issue is when it starts negatively affecting other people.
I wish I had never taken to fantasizing about being in a relationship.
I used to doubt that I was capable of being in a relationship because mainstream portrayals of romance were alien and unappealing. When I said that I probably wouldn’t date or marry, people would push me with ‘maybe if the right person comes along’ stuff. Unfortunately, a select few people in my life started to say stuff that really resonated with me and changed my opinion on the impossibility of partnership. I became aware that the best of romance and love wasn’t the most common form of it, nor was it the crap peddled by media. The idea of dating became more appealing the more time I spent dwelling on what I would like to get out of a relationship, but my social life remained stagnant. I’m having one of those spells recently, where I’m going over and over what could and couldn’t work with me. I’m not fond of myself in these times, it feels like I’m being obsessive and narcissistic, but I can’t stop.
I think I just want… attention. That’s out of character for me since I prefer to be left alone most of the time, but I think I come up against my limits occasionally. I’ve noticed my own pattern, every time I spend a long time completely alone I begin to re-evaluate my capacity for social relationships and wonder what it would be like if I found a unicorn. Maybe this is adaptive, my psyche knows that I shouldn’t be alone for this long so I start dreaming of some cute ultimate friend in boy form. It’s also a pseudo-anxiety that gets re-activated whenever I anticipate switching social pools. I’m graduating soon, so I’m due to be tossed out into the world, and the opened possibility of different social circles is making my rumination worse than usual.
is fantasizing about people in your daily life wrong?
it's never anything inappropriate, i just like imagining us as friends and such.
>inb4 why not approach
Wrong isn't really a viable thing here. As long as it doesn't impact your health or anyone else's nothing is really wrong. Is it HEALTHY? No. It gives you life a delusion that isn't real and without real human interaction, you will never be brought back to what reality is and it will warp your sense of perception and ideas of other people.
I don't have any advice or wise words but you sound like the kind of girl I always admired in high-school. Never stop self-evaluating. You'll find some kind if happiness, whether it's in singledom or in a relationship.
I have made a mistake 10 years ago and it's… more or less public. I tried to repair it but there's not much I can do, how do I move on? I worry for the future.
What mistake, how is it showing up now. You need to give context, this shit is aloof as shit the most anyone can give with this info is just ignore it and live your life. Just like anyone who gets #metoo'd or some SJW drags up one poor tweeet from years ago.
I don't know what SM is, but I assume if this was in elementary there isn't anything detrimental there that can impact you in your personal life at your current age. What do you expect will happen?
I guess so, but it's just a bit cringe.
Well you gotta wait until they reply but as long as your actual human face isn't on there or makes any clear dictation that it is directly YOU. Then you should be fine, people can share names all across the country/globe, you can try to play it off as someone else if questioned.
Can't you make big money and pay for one of those firms to erase it from the internet?
I'm starting to develop feelings for my biological brother and i don't know how to deal with this. I don't know if this comes from us never meeting our dad or what. He's been going the gym and he asked me to feel his bicep one day and after that ive been fantasizing every night about cuddling with him and loving him. I don't know what to do because it doesnt seem "gross" to me anymore. Ive never had a bf and im usually really lonely so maybe thats what the problem is. I really wish he would just kiss me like he kisses his gf and care for me like he did when he found my scars.
Does your brother have any male friends?
This is my first post after lurking for a while and I'm censoring cause it goes into my sexuality as a child and I've keep it a secret for too long. When I was a child I was disturbingly sexual (no actual sex just making out, seeing each other nude and etc.) in my youth starting in the first grade and always with other close friends my age. I'm not sure if I could pinpoint when it started and when I thought it was ok but when I was probably in the 3rd or 4th grade I was the older child showing that it was ok for children to makeout with other children behind their parents back. And I motivated a young child sister to kiss her brother and I was eventually caught by their parents, thank god that they didn't notify my mom after and slowly but surely I distanced myself from them and overall being an overly sexual person. I feel deeply disgusted and ashamed of myself for having this sexuallity as a child and introducing that to other younger kids. I sometimes think about how they ended up and if my actions have ever caused them trauma or made them think it was ok to be sexual as a child. I also sometimes have this fear that it will come back to haunt me as an adult (being exposed). I wish I had a cleaner childhood cause looking back as an adult I feel ashamed because of the actions i've done and what I thought was ok.
I won't blame you if you want me to kill myself. Everytime I think about this I wish I never existed.
The shame's enough anon. Please put this behind you. They've probably forgotten about it, maybe said it once as a "weird thing" they remember from their childhood. Maybe it's one of those greentexts that nobody ever caps. It's going to be okay, anon.
>>22471>They've probably forgotten about it, maybe said it once as a "weird thing" they remember from their childhood.
I don't want to be a downer, but depending on the person, it could have messed them up. Possibly even enough for them to replicate the behavior.
The past is the past, though. Nothing one can do in the present but try to be the best person they can be. Killing oneself doesn't fix one's mistakes, and in fact robs one of the opportunity to try and make up for them.
What happened to them? Maybe you can confess this to them. It might help them with how they've changed.
Oh, sorry, I'm not the one who made the initial post. I thought that was implied by the second paragraph.
I had a similar childhood growing up. Were you abused as a kid? I think that may have been a cause to why I did some stuff like you did.
I don’t have advice because I’m going through the same thing, but you aren’t alone anon. The idea of “getting exposed” always haunts too even though it was in early elementary school and I was a little kid. It was just one incident with one person and it didn’t involve touching but I still feel fear and shame because of it.
I really don't want to go home for the summer. I only have one friend over here at college and I mostly just stay in my room all day when I'm not hanging out with her or doing homework, but I like being away from home to pretend I can escape my responsibilities. I feel like I'm becoming distant from my friends back home, I'm 19 and have never had a job and I still don't have a licence, and I don't feel like being around my dad all the time because he can be an asshole. I'm taking 2 online summer classes so I won't be a completely useless member of society, but I just feel so down thinking about summer.
I'm sorry sister. I care, please don't cut anymore
Do yout best to be strong anon. Commit yourself to something (eg. Going for a run /lesson each week/ a project).
I don't know what kind of life I want anymore. My depression has morphed from suicidal behaviour into a dullness that permeates behind my eyes. Kind of like the sound of silence, but it's also a bit grey and everything moves a bit slower than they should unless it's inside the computer screen. Perhaps the apathy will retreat once my bank account's depleted. For now even taking out the trash can wait. Insert pot-meets-kettle joke here.
Haven't been able to process a thought in weeks. Typing this helps somewhat. Asking for IRL help (though figuring what kind of help I need is a separate dilemma) and regressing once they've left means not helping myself at all. Believing I won't improve sets me up for failure, I know. Dunno. I'm tired of myself. I'm sure others are too. That's why I don't want them to see me as pathetic as I am now. Maybe I choose to be apathetic and not work on my problems because the alternative has always been feeling as shitty as this.
I hope the sex was good enough to ruin our friendship. From what I've heard, it wasn't.
I care, precious girl. Please don't hurt yourself in this way. If you need an ear or even a friend, let me know and I'm happy to be contacted off CC <3
I didnt go to any of the classes for one of my modules this semester and didnt do the 2 assignments or the exam. now theres only the group project left, which is significant enough that I could pass if I did well on it, but I dont know when it is because I didnt go to the classes. and I dont want to randomly show up and be a burden to my group, or worse yet, have no one want to be in a group with me because they know Im a useless lazy piece of shit…
kill me pls
No offense, but as someone who lives in the same place. Words like this don't matter, they aren't genuine. You don't know the person, words like this are meaningless to someone in that head space, because in reality who they want to care, are people in their personal life, not a rando on the internet. It's just hollow words that have no impact because you feel obligated to say it because if you do nothing or say the wrong thing out of context, now you're responsible for that person's actions rather than the person being held for their own actions.
Sucks that the world we live in now where people feel obligated to say bullshit for no reason but because if you don't you are held legally liable for anything bad to them. Really makes a random's persons act of genuine kindness worthless due to the assumption that they are just saying it for the sake of saying it. Not even really trying to shit on you, but that's the pill of how to deal with people like this.
your being a lil 2 edgy. maybe im not "in that headspace" like you but dont ya think someone can genuinly care about another person on a level of human to human.
Literally missed the point. The fact you are calling it edgy means you don't comprehend or understand. If you are the person I replied to, it shows you don't have a single fathom of understanding and just spew nice generic rehtoric of "I care" when someone is sad as if it's genuine or real, because in reality what I explained is how a lot of people feel and to call it edgy just shows you're being shallow in your sincerity since you have no depth of understanding of how that person actually feels.
you don't have a single fathom of understanding and just spew nice generic rehtoric
go fuckyourself. this conversation is over. is that beter?
Truth hurts. Life isn't pretty and sometimes putting a half assed "I'm here for you post" with no possible way for the other person to contact you so you could attempt to be there for the person is just a slap in the face, like people who put "thoughts and prayers" in a social media post during a tradgedy as if it does anything but make them look like a good person and feel like one while doing absolutely nothing nor any work. It's shallow as fuck.
Not the anon that replied to you, but you are being edgy. A "half-assed" post like that at least shows that someone read what she wrote and cared enough to reach out.>no possible way for the other person to contact you
She didn't post contact info because she wasn't sure that the post wanted to be contacted, if she put it there she would likely just be messaged by male lurkers. The exchange would go "actually I do want someone to talk to, would you mind posting a throwaway account?" "sure" if contact was requested. Not posting contact info right away is more polite and smart.
"Thoughts and prayers" as generic as it is still shows that you care. It's a short way to say "I read everything you wrote, thought about it, and wish you the best in these difficult times". Why must you actually work to solve a problem to prove you care about it? You must have an incredibly negative view of the world if you assume people say that to make themselves look good.
What do you consider would be an appropriate way to reply? Unsolicited life advice? Ignore it and make the poster feel even more worthless?
Sorry for not replying in a while, school got out of hand>>22472
That is part of why I'm worried and regret my past actions, even though I was a child and wasn't fully aware of how abusive I was, only now I am realizing I could have brought a family trauma or the first step in a downward spiral of issues if not already. And because of my actions and what they could do is also why I am scared of being exposed and facing real consequences of something I did as a child.>>22473
I honestly don't know since i've moved out of the apartment complex we've shared and my family slowly but surely lost contact with them. Even if I were to find a connection again, i'd probably be to scared to talk about it cause of its potential of bringing up at best a gross memory that they didn't need to remember or worse trauma, either way it goes they will most likely hate me bringing it up.>>22478
I was not abused in any way physically, sexually or mentally. I would admit that around this time I was left either at home by myself or in the care of another family visiting a friend. I did try to think as to where and I have became sexaul as a child and the earlist memory is again being a first grader going to a female friend's house where she would be sexual with me and make out with me. Only until recently I have also thought about her point of view and that maybe she could have been abused to teach me that sort of thing. This is also the time where we both consumed pop media in the late 2000's where that Katy Perry song "I kissed a girl" was on the radio and that didn't help.
I'm sorry if you can't relate to this, I hope you are okay too.
Doing some sort of volunteer work that involves a lot of physical labor is also an option, if you don't like running/walking in particular all that much.
If only you knew how bad things really are
Your mind's not going to be at ease until you make amends, and learn for sure if they really still care about something from so far back. That's terrible. Stupid music propaganda making children confused and traumatised.
I have moved out of the town and apartment complex we shared more than 7 years ago. I only know the first names of the kids by now and asked family members for their last names and they don't know either and they lost social media contact with their family, so at this point I don't know how to reach out. Let alone bring it up after more than half a decade of not seeing or talking to them.
Y’all need some anthropology perspective on this.
For a significant portion of historical human society, sexuality/nudity was accepted in ways we don’t accept today; minimalist tribal clothing, nude statues or nude depictions of goddesses, or arranged marriage for adolescents. While I would not promote these things today, we can assume many cultures started teaching about the birds and the bees a lot earlier than mainstream western culture recommends.
Heck,some people are deeply bitter\traumatised for all the kissing they haven’t
had. It’s rare to be truely lewd at such a young age because the hormonal/brain development necessary for those motivations and behavior haven’t quite started or have just begun. I think childhood kissing is quite innocent as far as things go.
You have a good heart for feeling bad about this, but I think it’s really unnecessary unless you have stronger reasons that you haven’t disclosed to us.
She's right, you know.>>22602
Habitat for Humanity is a good one.
>shave my legs for years
>also shave my forearms for years because i thought it “looked nicer”
>stop shaving them both over a year ago because i don’t care anymore and have less motivation
Now my arm and leg hair is darker and longer than it was before. The hair on my forearms used to be light, fine, and you could barely see it but now it’s really noticeable and i feel like it looks masculine
I hate the >hurr durr ur hair doesnt actually get darker it's just an optical illusion
because for me the hairs definitely DID get longer and thicker when I compare shaved areas to unshaven
You could try to find someone who's into that. Everything has someone who's into it.
Alternatively, have you tried waxing the hairs/burning them/dermaplaning them/whatever to see if maybe it'll reset the growth somehow? Nothing to lose now.
Wasn't there a meme trend like 5 years back about using basically sandpaper on your skin to get rid of hair and it when done the hair comes back thinner?
this is "the shinning" levels of insanity
Sorry I don't understand on what you mean on what is unessacessary? Can you clarify?
>tfw you're becoming a shitposting addict
I have a real talent for destroying and derailing threads. I can very well kill a thread and drive others away from posting in it, until it's just me and some other person arguing for what seems like hours on end. It usually starts as us having some sort of valid discourse, but it soon goes downhill to insults and low-quality arguing very quickly. It gets to the point where I don't even really care much about the argument anymore. I typically keep it to 4chan and 8chan, since I don't want to shit up any female boards.
I used to unironically feel angry while doing this, but this time around, I noticed myself…having fun. I was focused, and my mood improved somehow. I genuinely had a good time. I'm not even really mad at the other anon, I don't care (though, with all that was said, I'm sure they'd be pretty agitated and pissy if we were to meet again and identify each other somewhere else somehow). I don't even know how to process this feel. It's not even a social interaction thing. I have friends, but this is something else.
I wish this was a marketable skill. Is there such a thing as a paid shitposter?
If 4chan is to be believed, big companies pay people to derail and shut down threads criticizing said companies.
I doubt it, but at the same time it seems kind of plausible. No idea how you'd apply for something like that, though.
Alternatively, develop your skills at shitposting in videogames and become a streamer where people pay to watch you make other people mad.
>be in college
>this past semester a new guy shows up at our school (we'll call him R)
>he's super cool & hilarious, befriends my entire friend group
>1 friend tries to introduce me to him
>"hey R! this is my friend anon!"
>hold out my hand and try introducing myself in the friendliest way possible
>he looks at me and ignores me, continues talking to friend
>fast foward through Jan, Feb, & March, he's constantly around my friends but is super rude and dismissive to me
>ignores me when I talk to him, gives me dirty looks or sounds annoyed if he does reply
>thinking literally what did i do to you? but keep it to myself
>don't say anything to friends, just play it cool and let him hang around while i smile and nod
>finally tell my two best friends about how he's been treating me
>"i'm sorry anon, idk why he treats you like that, it seems out of character for him"
>two weeks later (yesterday), bffs and i decide to go out to dinner
>they're in my apartment hanging out, and i'm super excited for fun night approaching
>bff 1 says "hey, let's see if we can get more people to come!"
>i say sure! hold on a sec while i pee
>go into bathroom
>while i'm in there he calls up a random person
>come out and bff says he invited R, and R agreed to come
>thinking to myself while we sit and play smash about how shitty i'm going to feel having him there
>tell friends i think i got food poisoning and that they can go on without me
>they leave quickly and i curl up on my couch and just think to myself "why…"
i honestly have no idea what i did, or why this guy loves all my friends but decided upon only hearing my voice that he hates me. at first i brushed it off but now i'm pissed and want to punch him repeatedly for getting in the way of my night
I think you're missing a piece of the puzzle, there's no way he would act differently only to you unless there was a strong reason for him to do so.
Be honest with yourself: are you hygienic? are you fat? are you flat-out ugly?
Do you act obnoxious? I sometimes unconsciously ignore people when I know nothing good will come of interacting with them.
>>22668>are you hygienic?
yes..>Do you act obnoxious?
i don't believe so, i'm pretty quiet>are you fat? are you flat-out ugly?
not a stand-out beauty but far from fat, and the dude himself is a fat fuck
and why would you defend that last piece? do you avoid people over their appearance? because that's shitty…
Not her, but the reason why anon asked about these things is certain boys tend to act rude to girls they don't see as fuckable. They see no point in it perhaps?
maybe, i know i'm not fuckable. i'm very tomboyish with an average face and short hair, nowhere near a stacy. but i don't think it's homophobia either because a couple of our mutual friends are gay
it could have been something he found off-putting about how i introduced myself, idk. i didn't mean to imply in my op that i 100% believed i am a completely innocent angel who could do no wrong, just that i'm confused about it and now my feathers have been ruffled
Maybe it's a vibe thing. Haven't you ever disliked someone after just having seen them? Just from their subtle air or mannerisms.>>22676
It's offensive in the same way that being poor is offensive; it's a social sin. A fat person is an eyesore. My poor mother dreads being around my father in public.
I hope you're sarcastic right now and you didn't write all that in a serious manner.
better start working out and losing weight, tubby
Could anyone else from your group be considered a "tomboy" or "queer"? If not, it's probably your position as team dyke that's making him despise the sight and sound of you.
>>22682>Haven't you ever disliked someone after just having seen them? Just from their subtle air or mannerisms.
not really. i mean, there’s been people i met that seemed pretty odd or awkward at first but i would never automatically dislike them or after the first impression be a flat out dick like this guy was to me. i’d at least try to get to know them before any harsh judgements were made>>22676
unlike many anons i don’t care about others weight, like the best friend i mentioned who called R to come to dinner is huge
and told me he weighs 350 lbs at only 5’11”. i say whatever, although i worry about his health and possible shortened lifespan it’s not really my business to try and fix him. and no, i would never be put off by him because he’s too cool/nice of a person>>22695
yes, i am the solo dyke in our group. i certainly hope my friends aren’t hanging around a misogynist/lesbophobe, that would really grind my gears
Get your shit together.
what are you talking about? lesbophobia is a real thing, anon.
I'm in the middle of a PMS funk and I feel like shit and haven't done shit this weekend even when I have a crazy busy week coming up. Fuck
You're resorting to garbage meme phrases as to why someone doesn't like you like most homosexuals do. It's pretty gross, you're trying to victimize yourself because of who you are because someone doesn't like you and the worst part is you don't even know why you just resort to the whole woman lesbian angle instead of many other things that could be worth not liking because it's the easiest way to devalue someone below you. That's a jerk move and if that's how you roll, I wouldn't like you either.
>>22698>i am the solo dyke in our group
Guess who he doesn't want in the way of any potential romance.
Is breakup sex really that bad? I've only been in 2 relationships, but after I break up with them, like the month after when we get all our stuff, I've fucked them and then it's like… Idk the fact even oxytocin and all those feel-good hormones can't make me want to be back with my ex makes me feel amazing and it really gives me a sense of closure. I feel bad because I know they're doing it because they miss me (whereas I just like the fact I get to get fucked by someone who knows my body since I don't hook up), but I always let them know I don't mean anything by it. It's never more than once either, it's like the breakup sex is what lets our relationship actually be finalized.
god damn you’re salty. the other anon was the one who initially suggested that might
be why he acts the way he does and i was telling her i hoped it wasn’t the case. neither of us suggested that we were 100% positive he hates me because i’m gay, it was a speculation because neither of us know.
take the stick out of your cooch and try reading the whole conversation before interjecting, because you sound fucking stupid.
p.s. lesbophobia isn’t a “meme phrase”, you goof. it refers to specific homophobia against lesbians by people who might not otherwise hate gay men. feminists use it a lot.
yeah i don't doubt he's got some kind of ED even though i never see him eat more than other people (probably does it in private), i feel bad for him but don't think there's anything i can do to help without coming across as a nosy dickhead. weight is too sensitive of a subject even for close friends.
the last time i actually said something to R was in a student lounge and he was showing some kind of funny meme to the people sitting at a table with me, it had something to do with horror cliches. i couldn't see because it was on his phone screen and he didn't show me. while he was walking around me to show someone else i asked him if there was anything on demonic/possessed kids being a cliche since that's a big one and he didn't respond, so i just stopped trying to talk to him any time he's around.
I read what was said, and i've been following but everything said so far and the ideas produced are just stupid. It's all shallow stupid shit, your issue is that you can't accept that possibly someone doesn't like you and it has nothing to do with how you look or your lifestyle choices and instead of searching for a realistic solution to the real problem here which is that this guy is acting like such a cunt that he's inadvertently alienating you from your friends you are trying to figure out the problem with you that he doesn't like for some reason. Your proprieties are fucked just like this logic you are all following.
Also no feminists are fucking stupid and create problems out of thin air that are minimal as shit and deserve no attention. This whole homophobnia shit is a meme because it's easier to disable dissenters by saying "Well they aren't good people, they hate homosexuals! Anyone who hates them are terrible people and thus don't matter!" than it is to actually defend the topic at hand.
I'm the one she replied to, and I'm thankful you've summed it up better than I could. I don't want to be a cunt, but I'm tired of these attention wh*res.
I'm tired of struggling to connect with others but also don't know how to fix it.
I'm so happy I finally found my shy, awkward, inexperienced bf. I'm astonished he's like this even if he's almost chad-like, he says he had crushes and perhaps one of them was requited, but he was too much of a retard to do anything
I feel so proud of making the first move, I think this is what he needed and even if I don't know yet if he's with me only because I was the initiator, or if he really likes me, I'm still happy and we built a really strong bond, based solely on the fact that we enjoy being together (we don't really share background connections, only similar interests, I initially asked him out randomly just because he seemed a nice guy, we were in a group of friends one year before but we never got to know eachother well)
Girls, if you feel attracted to someone even if you don't know why, approach them. It will always be an useful experience, even if you get rejected. In the end, something good will always happen, but you have to try!
good for you anon. I’m happy for you aswell
>we only had two lectures, both on the same topic
>one topic didn’t even have a lecture and the other was an online one
I feel like I know the material and I’ve gone to her office for clarification, but I still feel like I might be fucked over by the things we didn’t have lecture on
I'm happy for you and everything, but it's not exactly like you've been looking for very long, in the grand scheme.
I’m in love with my boyfriend and I keep spilling spaghetti because I don’t feel I can tell him because I don’t want things to get weird but I feel like I’m gonna burst and it’s not even like I care if he doesn’t love me I don’t even want to know whether he does or not it’s just like ARGHhhhhHhhhHhhhhhhhhhhh
Nah it’s like I have never felt this way about someone ever, I want to marry the dude tbh. I’ve never met such an idea guy, who makes me laugh like a lunatic and makes me feel so safe. I keep crying because it’s so overwhelming and I don’t know what I’m doing. He’s made me love myself and I want to just spend forever seeing the wonderful things he creates and invents. Pls no bully for mushy feels.
I’m taking him for a picnic on Wednesday. I’m hoping to make it super romantic. Help!
Why can't you tell him you love him if he is your boyfriend? I thought love confession happens before you start dating.
For for anyone here who has never had any romantic interaction, I'll give you a quick run down of how most relationships roll in this generation of terrible people.
Most dating begins with not with a deceleration of love, more of interest. Sort of like the school yard like-like situation. You think they cute, and you want to try out being romantic with them. This is a simple crush like thing rather than full out love, love is often seen as a serious commitment and some people don't feel that way when in the early stages of dating. They don't feel as heavily invested and might break it off soon and when the other party declares that they are heavily attached to them, it makes for an awkward situation where they might end up cutting and running before it gets even worse because messy break ups suck. So declaring like actual love for someone is a HEAVY implication, including when you feel unsure about the other parties feelings in the situation. Most people are afraid to say it early for a miariad of reasons than the one I listed, like some people view it as a red flag that they are clingy, that they rush a relationship too quickly, and other things that make others feel uncomfortable. The deceleration of love in a relationship between both people is kind of like the cement hardening of the relationship and finalizing that they want to keep going for a long time and this isn't just a fuck around for fun thing. Relationships are a minefield of bullshit.
Well, what are you willing to do to get one?
I'm willing to try and learn to love myself so I can have enough confidence to put myself out there
Have you had a boyfriend before?
Do you know what you want - what sort of person, what sort of relationship?
Are you willing to be hurt (emotionally) and to handle disappointment?
>>22768>Have you had a boyfriend before?
>Do you know what you want - what sort of person, what sort of relationship?
I know I want someone who’s funny and positive, but I don’t know what I kind of relationship I’m looking for exactly>>22769>Are you willing to be hurt (emotionally) and to handle disappointment?
Right now I’m terrified of being hurt, but I’m trying to work on allowing myself to be vulnerable.
>>22759>I thought love confession happens before you start dating.
Nowadays I feel like it's more common to date casually just because you find the other person physically attractive, before you know them at all. And that's if the dating even happens in the first place instead of just casual sex via Tinder or whatever.
I don't think I can quit social media, I'll probably be old and still online. I don't use it much for socializing, more for news and to follow content creators.
Is that bad? I mean if you were nosy about people's lives it might be concerning, but it seems like you use it as a mainstream way to be informed of new things. That doesn't seem like a bad thing.
I'm gonna kms in a pretty spesh way ngl
You could always rely more on RSS feeds.
>go out with friends, get drinks
>have a great time
>wake up the next morning obsessing over every single thing I said
>feel like an idiot even if nothing I said was particularly bad
>assume friends now think I'm weird/annoying
>hate myself a little more
I repeat this cycle every single time I go out. I never used to feel this way when I drank when I was younger, wtf changed? I feel like total shit
This is exactly my life except with less drinking and more just me being desperate for attention. Yeah it’s wretched - but you can’t give up either.
I feel you, I do the stupidest shit when I’m drunk. Except it’s more actions that words I regret. Last time I drank I shoved a vape pen up my vagina.
lol. this is me 100%. i avoid responding to calls messages the whole next day and just feel ashamed of myself.
i wish was cute or at least had an interesting personality
the latter can be worked on, but the first…sigh
i want to be so cute i stun people
I'm the exact same way except with imageboards. Is it even possible to pull yourself away? I'll probably be on 4chan when I'm 45 at this rate.
It's much easier to become cute than it is to develop a good personality. Worse comes to worse you can always pay people money to make you look better. You can't get brain surgery to make your personality better.
I think certain people used to stalk me and talk about me in chats etc. but I have no way to actually find out if it's true.
Why would you be paranoid about something that maybe
happened sometime in the distant past? You'd be better off wasting time thinking about the Kennedy assassination.
i forgot to get myself cleared to sign up for classes next year and it feels like a deliberate subconscious doing because i really don't even know if i wanna go back… my friends and family are expecting me to go back but i really don't know if i'm ready because i have no clue wtf to do with my life or even get a degree in. but then taking a year off means working and staying with my parents which i would hate to return to after a year of being on my own. i feel like i'm not fit for college, i even brought up the idea of dropping out to my mom and she went "what, and throw all that money we're paying to send you there down the drain?" she has a right to be mad but i'm really sad here which is making me selfish lol
i know everybody does the "idk what to here" thing while in college but i really feel trapped over it.
on top of all this: my college is a strict lame christian campus where most ppl (at least who attend school events) are homeschooled horse girls
can i just die lol
>>23008>and throw all that money we're paying to send you there down the drain
College is hard. Speaking from personal experience, if you don't really want it, you're probably not going to be able to muster the will to do the required work to get the degree. Pouring tens of thousands of dollars into multiple years of college and then
not getting the degree? That's throwing money down the drain. Yeah, it sucks that you've lost what you spent on your first year, but staying out of guilt is not a promising foundation to make that expenditure worthwhile. Don't fall into the sunk cost fallacy.
I'm not saying you should definitely leave, but if your reasons for staying are limited to things like "it's expected," "I might as well," "don't want to have wasted that money," etc, then I don't think staying will turn out well for you.
The idea that everyone needs to go to college is kind of a meme anyway.
Most people I think would say for you to leave, but I think you should stick with it. The chances of you stagnating at home are even higher than not figuring out what you want to do.
(same anon) it's morning where i am so i def don't feel as emo rn lol. i think i'm just gonna continue to go.
these answers are really helpful though, i'll keep them in mind. thank you both <3
also we're supposed to register next week so i still have time to get cleared LMAO
>>23011>The idea that everyone needs to go to college is kind of a meme anyway.
Agreed. I grew up in an area where it's expected to go to university right after graduation, people who didn't want to go or were going to go to a community college instead were looked down upon, so the pressure to go was high. But if you don't have a solid plan on why you are going, college is a waste of time. You can't just get good grades to get a decent job, you have to put a lot of effort into networking and extracurricular activities as well, it's more stressful than people make it out to be. If you spend too much time fucking around and need to take another year that's a ton of money down the drain again.
My friend who was not good at school dropped out of a community college and became a receptionist at a law firm and is doing fine for herself making a livable wage and is stress-free.
>Had a real hard depressing day today
>Binge bought a bunch of useless shit and picked things up for a friend also
>Went to their place to drop off their stuff and their pet cat kept trying to get my attention and tried to be really physical and interactive with me
>Cat on other occasions just did own thing and rarely interacted with me
>Realize cat knew I was super fucked up and just wanted me to feel better
That was a very nice thing to do cat, too bad I'm allergic to you or I would have hugged you.
I agree. College just wasn't for me, but my parents forced me to go anyway. They threatened to throw my ass out on the street at age 17 if I didn't go to college. I dropped out and wasted thousands of their dollars. I'm surprised they didn't kill me. More than 10 years later, I'm my own boss as a small business owner. If I finished my bachelor's in biology like my parents wanted, I would be a bored and underpaid lab tech. Parents don't always know best. Another good example is my best guy friend. He was mocked for becoming an auto mechanic, but he makes more money than any of his friends with degrees. Including his friends with advanced degrees. The best part is that he's not even in management. He's one of the lower employees at his company.
You reminded me now since it's (or was an hour ago) April 1st admissions day; it's another year for me to search on twitter "accepted into Harvard/Stanford/Berkeley/etc and even any random mid/low-tier college" of randos I never met and never will meet to sift through their profiles and stalk their CVs through the years to make up for my insecurities and fear that my life isn't on track by comparing these people despite me being 3 years older than incoming freshmens.
If I check back on them through the years and see them living uneventful/mediocre lives then I pat myself in my back with narcissism and arrogance thinking "my wasted willpower wouldn't make much a difference seeing these" yet coming to the realization that the world is very hard even if you check all the reqs society encourages you to pass.
If I check back on them through the years and see them living great lives than I dwell in self-deprecation and reflection over my errors and wasted time overall (again narcissism) but comfort myself in declaring that these people without a doubt deserve the fruits of their great efforts and at-least they do good.
I just cant stop it, much time wasted on linkedin and glassdoor very jealousy and tiresome
You really know how to torture yourself effectively.
I am 99.999% sure my new boss is a fucking narc. I am so close to just quitting this job because I'm legit being made to feel like a piece of shit on a daily basis and it's affecting my mental health significantly. Tl;dr:
>start new job last Wednesday
>Boss shows me the processes for each job like once (different processes for different items and machinery etc it gets pretty complex)
>Expects me to know it after one time doing it and gets pissed off because she has to show me things again
>already have low self esteem due to aspergers and depression so constantly asking her to check stuff to make sure it's right and she gets pissy at that
>Constantly belittles and nitpicks my best efforts
>Telling me to multi task whilst also getting pissed off that I'm making mistakes because she's making me multi task before I even really know the process fully
>complains about the fact she doesn't want to 'micromanage' someone despite the fact I've been there a week and just don't want to fuck up orders
>Today she literally stood and criticised me for the best part of two minutes because I fucked something up
>'you should be getting it by now anon it's been a week i wanted to move on to more advanced stuff by now this is basic stuff!' and 'i could ask any of the girls to come upstairs and do this and they'd get it right!!'
>Broke down crying and she comes over and is like 'what's going on anon?' like it wasn't fucking obvious why I was in tears
>Legit basically just told me if i don't get stuff by next week I'm getting the sack basically because she doesn't have time to properly teach someone that has literally been working there a WEEK.
She is so nasty it's unbearable. Even the other employees have basically indirectly told me what she is like, but they don't have to work directly under her like I do. The downstairs is nice and cosy and all the women who work there are nice af. It's just her, she's a fucking witch.
I'm officially done. I have no desire to improve myself and I don't care what happens in the future.
I pursued someone and now I'm getting cold feet but I always get cold feet so I have no way of telling if I'm genuinely not into him or if I'm just scared of trying
assuming the job situation to find other job isn't terrible, have some relief that if you leave that toxic place she will have to waste her time in training another new employee and eventually the management will take notice of all the attrition and do something with her.
That isn't normal for a manager and you have my sympathy. I hope that either the place gets less toxic for you or you may find another more fulfilling and better job.
Jesus Christ anon. I hope you get well one day soon :(
My bf is a virgin and i thought that was cute, but when we were fooling around it turns out his penis is bent to the side like 30° or something, now i'm scared it will be a problem and i will break his heart or make him really insecure. Anyone got any experience with bent men?
My bf is a little bent and it's never hurt me or caused any problems, i think you will be ok
An ex of mine was/is bent too and it really wasn't an issue.
Some guys are naturally curved, to some degree. It's not usually a problem, but if it is a problem, I think it means it's not natural/a medical problem and they can have a doctor fix it. I've seen commercials about Peyronie's disease and stuff like that.
Most of dicks are a little bit bent, nothing to worry about
Thanks anon, I quit yesterday morning, I couldn’t deal with another day of her constant belittling behaviour. When I sent her my resignation email she replied saying she thought she had given me adequate time to learn, shows how much of a hard faced narc she is if she can’t own up to her own mistakes after an employee hit after a week because of her behaviour. Back to the drawing board now I guess.
If you were burning bridges anyway, you could've gone over her head and complained about her conduct to whoever oversees her. Unless she owns that company/branch or something.
I'm angry, poor, stupid and nothing I want will ever come to pass.
Sadly it was a family run company, so no HR or anyone to really go to, only one way and that was to quit. She was the daughter of the couple that started it off so that already tells you what a princess type she was inheriting a company like that. Her parents still work there and were nice as pie. Couldn't get my head around how the hell she turned out like she did.
a new definition of pathetic: invitations to high school reunions sent and then unsent because you're that much a loser. i saw the notification before bed. thank god an instinct insisted on sleeping now and taking care of it in the morning. replying stat would have lead to a more pathetic route. we would have spent the day together, ignorant me blissful of their disdain or apathy or whatever they really felt as they exchanged knowing glances with one another and sipped rose tea mimosas. god. why is this bitch here again? no clue, charlie. i need another drink.
perhaps the event could have been cancelled for less pathetic reasons like a lack of interest, bad weather or schedules in perpetual misalignment. everyone else is on facebook; they're keeping me up with the kardashians. even if that were true i've been right too many times to look at glass half-full.
dunno. shouldn't sperge about this too much and move on. but i am a lonely fuck who hasn't made another friend outside high school. kinda hurts.
The reunion probably got cancelled altogether, they didn't uninvite you.
check out /r/RoleReversal, a lot of guys would love to have a taller gf
Thank you. I know. It's difficult to get out of a feedback loop of similar thoughts present since middle school, but I'm working on it. Venting here helps.
One of her complaints was that she's short among tall girls, so even if that was specifically their interest, they'd want someone taller than her. She's in a middle tier that doesn't fit comfortably into either group.
Doesn't mean she can't still land a short guy that simply doesn't care about height, though.
Kek I totally forgot I made this post. Must have made it in some sort of fit.
Anyway basically this >>23306
Although I guess my strength makes up for lack of height when it comes to femdom shit so I shouldn't be too worried. I can toss around a little 110 lbs man no problem.
And 3-4 inch differences aren't bad. I certainly feel short next to my 5'9" and 5'10" male friends.
I've kind of accepted that I'll never be able to have the ideal 1 ft difference now, but thanks for the replies.
>>23308>I'll never be able to have the ideal 1 ft difference
I mean, you could have that, but at your height a 1-foot difference would be dwarfism territory. Peter Dinklage is only 1'2" shorter than you.
Not that there's anything wrong with dating someone with dwarfism, of course, but I assume if that's what you wanted it'd be a lot easier to screen for than just "someone who's really short."
IIRC Americans and the Anglosphere are the only ones with this fixation of (official) HS-reunions in their culture. This despite many of the people who stay in their hometowns not going to said reunions, and the people who actually manage to leave their hometowns wanting nothing to do with that
give or take i'd say that 10 years or so in the future that will go the way of middle-school dances.
Isn't one head ideal?>>23311>t. assblasted Yuropoor
Continentals can never stop trash-talking us.
Just had the most awkward conversation ever.
>parents are divorced, hate each other
>mom gave me this ugly bumpkin name (like billy joe bob but for girls) that I always hated, absolutely fucking despised and resented, caused me huge mental anguish
>if a restaurant worker put my credit card name on the order I would never eat there again, that's how much I despised that ugly shit name
>finally got a legal name change, took months and cost hundreds of dollars
>new name is super pretty though, very classy and clean-sounding, can finally tell people my name without wanting to die or scratch my face off
>don't talk to parents much, live out of state and don't really like them
>told my dad I changed my name like 2 months ago, said he would tell my mom
>got mail from mom a few weeks ago, she used my old name
>figure she was just pissed and refusing to change her ways
>get call from her today, tl;dr she did me a huge fucking favor
>end of phone conversation I drop right before she's about to hang up, "hey you know I changed my name right?"
>my dad never told her
>she's super fucking pissed
>clearly loved the hillbilly name she gave me and talked about my new name like it was disgusting garbage and she'd never heard something so awful in her life
Torn between feeling guilty because she just did me a life-saving favor (fucking HUGE deal) and bitchy because she's such a bitch about it. You guys have no idea how much anguish and loathing that birth name inspired in me, though. I developed a huge complex over it and it stunted my entire social development, my god it was so fucking awful, it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. And this woman sincerely thought it was pretty what she fucking named me. Here's the shit, she named me after herself and my aunt, so she's taking it like some huge slap in the face, a personal affront. Meanwhile I am still dealing with tons of issues from the legal name change and going through all this shit because she had the shittest fucking garbage taste. So I'm pissed and she's pissed and I just wanted to be happy that I finally have a name I can say aloud without wanting to jump in front of a car or bash my own brains in.
my dad hated my birth name too, so it's not just me. It was so ugly I can't even describe it.
Personally I hated everyone at my high school and I vowed to never step foot in that shithole of a town again so long as I live. >>23311>the people who actually manage to leave their hometowns wanting nothing to do with that
Exactly my feel. It's one of those places where the only employer is the walmart and if you aren't smart enough to get into college or audacious enough to pack your shit in the car and leave for a blind shot in a new city with no money and no job, you stay forever. Like 70% of people there are on welfare and there's tons of crime, more crime than a large city with 1/50th of the population. I don't even like telling people I'm from there. I say I'm from just outside [nearby city] and hope they don't ask anything else. We were so poor I only went to that city like 5 times in my life, and it's a 2 hour drive so it's not even that close. After high school I went completely dark, no social media at all, no photos of myself, nothing, so I could make a clean getaway and never talk to anyone from there ever again. Shootings outside the house every night, drug dealers on every streetcorner, every house dilapidated. It would be improved by a nuke. Everyone from high school is probably on welfare or working min wage for life with a drug addiction and 3 baby daddies. And yes I'm white. It's that kind of place.
It wasn't "Joanna beth xx" but it was in that style. I changed my first and middle name to a common name in the home country. My last name is classy as hell and it sounds great together. Real good flow. Birth name was a mouthful that was unpleasant just to say.
And she had me at 40. There is no fucking excuse to not be prepared by that time at least in what is and isn't a name for success.
For the record both my parents were emotionally abusive and neglectful. So I'm not just being a bitch.
Hilarious and completely incorrect assumption, but please, keep going. Hint: they don't have daily shootings in appalachia or the deep south.
So, you know most normal people who hate their name normally use a nickname. Why in hell didn't you just do that?
I sympathize with your indescribable mental anguish. You did nothing wrong.
I did for many years and I still despised the nickname. >>23354
Thank you for your understanding, anon. I just wanted someone to tell me they know my feels.>>23350>>23347
You won't guess it.
That still makes zero sense, why would you use a nickname that you hate?
You can put a lipstick on a pig but it doesn't make it a lady.
My birth name is Borbala, the only nickname derived from that that doesn't sound like ass is B. To top it off my family emigrated so it stuck out even more. I had it legally changed and I finally feel human again.
Hungarian then. Interesting.
Yes. I'm not the original poster obviously, just explaining why someone might not choose to go by a nickname if they hate their name a lot.
Still makes zero sense, I've known people who go by a completely different word or phrase unrelated to their name. Seems like you all just wanted to be miserable instead of actually making a solution to your problem in life.
I guess you've never been passed over for a job because they saw your name on your CV and decided you were too foreign, poor or 'ethnic'. I also guess people haven't openly pushed and prodded to find out what your full name is only to laugh at you behind your back.
Either way, if that anon is happy with her new name then it was clearly the right decision and that's all that matters.
So did you just change it to Barbara?
Or something else entirely?
Also - what do you think of the states? How has your experience been outside of your hometown?
I am always interested in the opinions of people who weren’t born here (unless I misread your post?).
I'm pretty sure that she's good as long as she's taller. And the part about others being even taller, well, yes, everybody would like someone even better, you wouldn't just like someone that's short, you would want them to be cute and social and educated and so on, but in this case finding someone even taller that's into short guys is just very difficult, so you've got one of those guys for yourself anyways. >>23308>I can toss around a little 110 lbs man no problem
You would be perfect for them then, so what are you complaining about?
>And 3-4 inch differences aren't bad. I certainly feel short next to my 5'9" and 5'10" male friends.
What matters is you versus your special other.
>I've kind of accepted that I'll never be able to have the ideal 1 ft difference now
Well, that's pretty rare, but if you really wanted to you could still find someone like that (just expect to put in a lot of work in finding them).
>>23360>My birth name is Borbala, the only nickname derived from that that doesn't sound like ass is B
I have a lot of trouble learning how to drive.
I have been trying to learn since 2017. I have failed the exam a few times. I have days that I drive really well but if I make a slight mistake I feel completely fucked up and start making more and more mistakes.
I don't know how to fix my driving anxiety. I have tried to look at it in so many ways. I just wish I could get over it. It has made me suffer so much.
What is your fucking problem? I'm the anon no one can figure out where I'm from. Being a stupid five year old kid I entered school using my birth name and then everyone learned it that way and knew what it was. You can't just walk around telling people one day, "Hey i'm not xx anymore I'm yy," because then they'd either call you xx again just to be a dick and spend all day shouting it at you to rub it in as much as possible and won't stop until you're sobbing in the toilet holding safety scissors to your neck, or they'd tell you to fuck off in kid-language and still call you xx. How is that so god damned inconceivable to you? Just please, shut the fuck up already. This is why you have no friends.
And jesus fuck they don't have shootings in hungaria for one thing.
>>23383>they'd either call you xx again just to be a dick and spend all day shouting it at you to rub it in as much as possible and won't stop until you're sobbing in the toilet holding safety scissors to your neck
How long was this happening to you? If this kind of shit was still going on long past high-school, then I don't think it was your name
that was the problem.
That wasn't me, I lived in Western Europe most of my life, but I wasn't born here. Foreigners changing names to something more local is quite common where I live, but my parents wouldn't do it because "you can do it when you're older, I like your name because I gave it to you". They hoped I would change my mind and my mum was very upset when I changed my name instead.
“Mum” sounds like UK to me.
“Mom” is more common in US.
Automatic or manual? What do you struggle with?
go back to /r9k/ and stop trying to be """funny""">>23386
I'm not hungaria-anon at all. I'm billy joe bob anon. people just push their expectations onto you. my mom (and family) wanted me to be just like they are, get hitched at 18, pop out a bunch of kids, stay in the dead-hope town my entire life, do nothing but gardening and work min-wage, and be some rural hillbilly and like it. that has never been who I am. The name doesn't fit me at all. They can get mad all they want but they're extremely inconsiderate to what I want. On top of it they were emotionally and sometimes physically abusive my whole life. So yeah. It's just one of those redneck places where everyone is close-minded and ignorant. Not to sound tumblr about it, but it's honest to god true. people there are anti-education and treat you like a freak if you want to do something like, learn about other countries or move to a new state, or read books, or get an education, or anything at all. everyone is on drugs, working minimum wage or on welfare, and all they do is have a bunch of neglected kids with 3 different baby daddies and go around cheating on each other then talking about jesus in the next breath.
it's a red town in a blue state and very much the exception to the norm. that's probably why you are having a hard time guessing. they're just a bunch of miserable, close minded, backwards people and I want nothing to do with them. >>23394> I like your name because I gave it to you
iktf. like, how selfish can you be? I'm a human being, not a chihuahua. parents treat kids like a minion and expect them to be a carbon copy. mainly mothers do this, fathers seem to be more open minded. mothers will act like the sky is falling apart if you don't share 100% of their opinions and interests, like you took a knife and stabbed them in the heart. my mom sat there crying shit like "you broke my heart, you broke my heart," because I wanted to go to college. they can't handle that they don't have 100% control over every aspect of their kids wants and desires, and then they go apeshit about it. they push all these expectations onto you then treat it like a personal betrayal if you form your own personality and interests.
so i'm probably just salty and hate my own mother but yeah, i know your feels. you have to do what is best for you.
>>23401>like, how selfish can you be?
Can’t get much more selfish than having kids.
I'm being serious. Redneck-ville is the problem. Not your name.
Manual, I live in Europe.
I don't even know how to pinpoint it, but I think it is driving anxiety and fear of failure. I think that at this point driving is something that is extremely emotional to me and I don't really know how to overcome that.
Some days I can drive really well, pay attention in the road, react well and in time. Some days it seems like it is first time I try to drive a car, I make so much mistakes because I feel so insecure and can't make good decisions.
I am also from Europe and I recently passed mine, the first times I was so anxious I was shaking.
If it helps, remember that as you're driving you're on of the most capable people on the road at the moment because most people don't pay attention, they text and drive, don't use their turn signals etc.
Remember that you can slow down and stop if necessary if you are unsure as to what to do, don't let other drivers put pressure on you. Confidence will come from practice so take your parents' car and drive around or practice parking in an empty lot.
Also remember to not let your foot hover over the clutch, just put it down to the left of it, I struggled a lot with that for some reason.
Thanks, anon! That's nice advice.
It's all about the right mindset, you're right. I have to develop confidence, and I think after that everything falls into place.
When I overcome this I will look back and think that if I could do this shit that terrifies me, then I could do anything.
>>23440>you can slow down and stop if necessary
This is true, but make sure to put your hazard lights on when you do so that drivers behind you can tell that you're stopped and aren't planning on moving. Pull off to the shoulder if there is one.
If you're having trouble using manual, I'd suggest watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auQgOtveQi0
Admittedly, I've never driven manual, but having an understanding of what happens mechanically in a manual transmission certainly made the idea less intimidating when I was considering which car to get.
As with anything, practice makes perfect. Once you drive enough, even driving badly, you will eventually feel like the car is an extension of your own body and the delay between making a decision and interacting with the car will disappear. It'll become as natural as walking.
Glad I could help, I'm sure it will be a breeze for you. :)
My ex just made his instagram public again, signaling that the charges for a crime that he 100% committed was dropped. Not against me, but I'm just mad cuz I wanted him to at least get a slap on the wrist instead of a pat on the back, ya know?
oh it is.
basically, he cheated on me when we were together. one of the girls he cheated on me with, that he ended up eventually dating after we broke up, was 14/15 (he was 20 at the time). That is illegal in my state, and he got caught and arrested and charged with 2 counts of statutory sexual assault (second degree felony) according to court dockets. He was let out on bail after a few hours and has been dark on social media after the initial incident, and he has been keeping his current relationship with a 17 year old on the down low.
I kinda assumed he wouldn't go to jail (rich white-passing university student with "so much ahead of him") but come on. I don't 100% know what happened yet and probably won't know until the case is closed and I read the public resolution in the public records on Monday (updates whenever), but I have a sick feeling that he's learned nothing and will continue to exploit girls.
I'm just upset because a part of me wants karma to deal with him, but I'll just talk it out with my therapist tomorrow I guess.
Yes and no
He was always into younger looking girls. I look young for my age (I've been at bars with my real id when they've still refused to serve me lmao) and he's shown interest in the more "innocent" looking types. He also showed dissatisfaction with me doing anything without him and was overall controlling when I let him while we were together. Having a girl who would always stay with him out of need/naiveté was a big fantasy of his I think.
However, he always put on a very "humble nerdy sadboi with an edgy streak" persona. He's far from the typical Chad stereotype. He got more confidant after making the college hockey team, but I never thought he'd actually seek out and go through with fucking a literal underager.
In hindsight, there were TONS of red flags that I chose to ignore for the sake of "preserving our luv <3" and other gay shit like that.
Can you list some anon? I'm afraid I might be dating someone similar and would like to confirm my suspicions sooner rather than later
>>23480>and other gay shit like that
A short list>he would get very angry and pouty if I couldn't see him/answer his call>conversely, he would get mad when I would call him because "it was annoying". he controlled the contact.>very hesitant to introduce me to people>obsessed with the idea of getting me pregnant, but hated the idea of marrying me>made a habit of cheating on me, and would flaunt it. He would also tell me about the girls he slept with when we were not together, but getting mad when I would feel hurt/jealous.>jealous of people in committed relationships on instagram when we were not together and were still on speaking terms>all of his relationships besides me were long distance (not necessarily a red flag, but he was never able to make people he met irl that he would sleep with stay)>white boy anger (smacked me around, punched holes in walls, broke things)>had to get me and others to pay for things for him because his dad couldn't trust him with money (very impulsive buyer)
I don't think any of these alone clued me into much, but his personality is very childlike in many ways. Think obsessive when he likes something, constantly wanting to do it or have it, but gets bored of it easily. He wants a lot of stuff, both from others and for himself, but is unable to go out and do what he needs to get it.
So the red flag was less anything he did, but how he generally lives his life. Impulsive and funded by people who care about him.
>>23485>obsessed with the idea of getting me pregnant, but hated the idea of marrying me>made a habit of cheating on me, and would flaunt it. [..] tell me about the girls he slept with [..]> white boy anger> could not be trusted with money
I am nearly crying over here.
Please tell me you didn’t spend a long time in that relationship.
See “Eternal Boy - Jung” for a plausible explanation - it happens when guys don’t have to deal with responsibility for their actions.
I have a few more questions.
What attracted you to him in the first place?
Do you (or did you) pity him?
Does he seem mentally ill to you?
Or a victim of trauma or neglect?
What would be appropriate punishment for people like him : mandatory therapy and community service? Jail? Both?
Too long. We were seeing each other off and on, with 6 months marking the longest stretch, but I've known him for a good year or two until we finally stopped seeing each other entirely. I'm out now (we've mutually blocked each other and we have an NCO with our university which he was thoroughly informed that he will be yeeted from if he tries some shit again).
Emotional scars still there (why I still care about what he's doing/who he's seeing)>>23489
I love questions>What attracted you to him in the first place?
Looks and boyish charm. He was essentially my perfect 10 appearance wise at the time, even though he would not be considered typically attractive. I also really liked the fact seemed to be into me. I was a virgin with very low self esteem when I met him, so I would've done even more for someone much worse tbh.>Do you (or did you) pity him?
To some extent. He always seemed very overworked and sad regarding school and life struggles. He was very into having what his peers did, and he never seemed to understand that there was more to their lifestyle than just being in a club or wearing the right outfits.>Does he seem mentally ill to you?
Not exactly. Honestly he reminds me of someone with depression. His baseline was just sad and not content. He liked stuff and that would make him happy, but it would usually fade.>Or a victim of trauma or neglect?
No more so than the average person. His parents basically always took care of him financially and were very permissive parents from what I've seen. Let him go out late whenever and would pretty much give him money if he told them what it was for. His dad would call him regularly when I was with him so he obviously cared. He probably needed more structure growing up but abuse/neglect is a stretch.>What would be appropriate punishment for people like him
Mandatory therapy and community service. Honestly, outside of the revenge and personal grudge on my part, I don't think jail would be the right answer for what he did. Therapy would help fix the underlying issues of why he's like this. Maybe a parole officer to check in on him for a few years to make sure he's not pulling shit.
Also unrelated but I saw him waiting at student health when I was walking out of my therapist's office. I don't think he noticed me. He was doing the thousand yard stare at some anti-vaping poster. Maybe he's getting the help he needs or maybe he has a cold and doesn't have me to mommy him anymore, idk.
IT FEELS LIKE I'M Suffocating.
I need to fix all these things and have no fucking clue how to fix it except for killing myself or getting pregnant.
I'm really really trying to fix the shit. It feels like i've wasted years on my sofa, trying to keep myself calm. It don't work like that. I can't ask for help, because no one could help me with it. I've asked it already and got me nowhere.
Honestly, i just want to be held by someone who understands.
I’m sure there’s someone who is willing to hold you and can understand what you are going through, anon ;). Try your best to hold it together for now.
Someone at my clinical told me I used to look so frightened and aloof when I first started but now I look like I know what I’m doing. I almost started crying because this is the first time a compliment hit me so hard. It felt different then a simple ‘good job’ because he recognized I struggled initially and I’m starting to understand everything.
Women like you give women like me a bad name. If you don't want to date him, fine, but don't you dare send him any bitchy messages about how he doesn't make enough or how he "lied". Or rather, how you came up with an idea of how much he made in your head and it didn't line up with reality.
I better not see your story on /r/tinder.
Spend more time around people and you'll get a better sense of which men are capable of choosing
to hurt you, and which aren't.
I know boys who fall into both categories. The ones who I feel 100% confident would never hurt me are the same ones who I am 100% confident would pummel the snot out of anyone who hurt any of their friends, male or female. Those are the guys you want in your life. They also tend to pay attention to your needs in the bedroom, but that's just my limited anecdotal experience.
From every guy I've talked to about this, the main and basically only requirement for a girl to be "cute" is to not be fat.
I am sure there are other things like your hair or your clothes but every single time, the thing they said is most important is just not being fat. I don't know if that means "anorexic skinny" or "normal weight", but the point is you can do it.
I don't know anon, it's easier to improve your looks rather than personality, at least after a certain age.
I’m so high maintenance. When I’m in a relationship I constantly need reassurance that the person still loves me and isn’t thinking of leaving me. If they don’t give me this reassurance enough I’ll overthink and become almost 100% convinced that they don’t love me anymore. I’m hypersensitive to anything they say, so if they’d say something that could possibly convey annoyance my heart starts sinking and I feel pangs of anxiety in my chest. I think romantic love is one of the best feelings in the world and basically my reason for living, but I tire myself out so much.
And I know it’s kind of a meme (at least from what I’ve seen online) that guys secretly want a clingy/needy gf so they can nurture her and support her but I feel like if they were actually in a relationship with someone like me the novelty would eventually fade and they would become exhausted, constantly feeling like they were walking on eggshells. Maybe it sounds cute in their head but in practice they’d grow sick of someone like me. Does anyone else feel this way? Pic unrelated
>>23491>He was essentially my perfect 10 appearance wise at the time, even though he would not be considered typically attractive.
Do you have any reference pictures? Just curious, but I have the suspicion we like(d) the same kind of guy.
>>23493>or getting pregnant
Not to sound like an edgelord, but I hate everyone so much. I thought I would grow out of it years ago.
Clingy gf is the last kind of gf my friends would want. If you would turn it around, clingy bf is a red flag too. Only people with trust issues would want someone with common problem. I know how you feel though. There was a time when I wouldn't want to leave my bf alone even for a toilet break. But I grew out of it.
I thought I would grow out of it too since I was like this in my first relationship at 14. It ended up lasting 2 years and the anxiety calmed down after a while but at the beginning of that relationship I was a wreck. I guess I haven’t grown out of it though since now that someone is showing feelings for me again, all those worries are coming back. Anxiety in general has just taken over my life, but I’m getting help soon hopefully. I kind of just hate being conscious.
Outside of literally posting his instagram photos or other doxable information (reverse image searches don't lie), I don't know quite how to do that. He doesn't need any more instagram followers to exploit for likes anyway.
The closest celebrity I can think of that looks like him is Asian Jake Paul (pic related). He is more masculine looking (half white) but he has been mistaken for RiceGum by excited 12 year olds while we were dating (I am not kidding)
I'm the opposite. Extremely low maintenance, relaxed, not a jealous bone in my body, no need for reassurances, can take days to respond to a message. My ideal is a clingy bf overly in love with me who lives or dies by my affections.
You mean - normal and likable in every respect, but clingy. Which is much rarer than the other kind — the mentally unstable, dysfunctional clingy.
That’s a cute picture of a bunny and it made my day happier
If Ricegum is white passing I dont even know what white is anymore.
I’m glad it made you happier anons <3
Because it seems easier that way to fix the situation i'm currently in. in this country they won't give 2 shits about their people, except for when you're a danger, preggo or a refugee.
Why would that matter, anon?
It wouldn't, I'm just curious :^)
I guessed as much when you said refugees, I wanna know the specific country though :^)
Everything I do is really stupid. I'm really crazy and I make bizzare paranoid decisions which are usually massively the wrong call and I end up even more bizzare and paranoid. Last year I put the grammerly app on chrome after making an account when I was irrationally paranoid something I was wiriting was plagerised (it wasn't I was just going through a crazy patch again) and I forgot the app was there because it barely worked on my browser but it's been sending everything I typed using that computer back to some randoms iand I literally only just remembered and removed it and now I'm really really paranoid about that and big brother and stuff. Dunno if deleting my account will get rid of the content it saved about me because it seems to define personal data and user content seperately. I know I'm really dumb so you don't have to tell me, I'm so unstable I can't even sleep probably because I get up 86 times at night because I feel like I haven't locked the doors properly. Help me
I don't think coffee has much to do with this
>tfw stuck in bed with the flu AND periods
RIP I guess i can hang out here while I perish
I'm getting sniffley too anon. I hope you feel better soon :)
Thank you! I still got a fever but it's more bearable than yesterday.
I wish you get well too anon <3
The big brother thing is just reality though none of us are important enough for something to happen. /g/ calls it the botnet.
>think I like a guy
>remember that I’m so starved of male attention that I’m misconstruing my own feelings
I’m sure you’ll find someone you like who cares about you, Anon.
Male attention is all too easy to get, what you should be looking for is the right kind of attention.
>>23605>someone is nice to me>spend the rest of the day trying to interpret whether they might have been interested in me or if it was just general politeness>reminded of how alone I am>heart feels like a rock for the rest of the day
I'd honestly rather no one talk to me at all.
>>23609Too bad ;) . But I know that feel.
Don't fall into that stupid "nobody actually likes you" crap. If someone's friendly, be friendly back. That's how people make friends.
I thought one stupid guy on this shitty fucking planet cared about me, but I just found out he took advantage of me.
There is absolutely no one I can talk to because I stupidly fucking allowed my social ineptitude and feelings to keep me isolated with him.
Maybe he wasn't lying about forgetting he did that. He only forgot because it wasn't a big deal. Maybe I'm just hurting myself and it doesn't even matter. Maybe he's not that bad. Maybe my brain just did something to make him seem bad.
Now he's apologizing and he says he doesn't want to live anymore. If he dies, it's on my head but I can't even bring myself to try and talk to him coherently anymore. I should've kept quiet and maybe I wouldn't have felt this way and he wouldn't either. Fucking neck myself
I don't mean to sperg but i have no other outlets and this place is anonymous
He hates any kind of vent/blog thread and he knows about this site so i normally wouldn't, but I don't care and I have nothing, not even him
I don't know why it's so hard to breathe normally
And he's the only one who cares about me. He's being so sweet. The same person who did this to me. I want to fucking puke everywhere
I don't want to hate him and I should have ignored it, this was an act of emotional self-harm and it's my fault for remembering
Even though he did that, it doesn't mean he doesn't care about me. He just wanted to see me naked
That's not a bad thing
I'm a fucking wreck, lmao. I'll delete this later, I'm sorry if I'm shitting up the thread
Later I'll try and post good content and be encouraging and friendly to other anons and maybe cute pictures to make up for it
This picture's calming
If he did something that you feel uncomfortable about and makes you this upset, you shouldn't brush it off or make excuses for him. It's not your fault. You may be alone, scared and inexperienced, but you have right to defend yourself.
Drop him. The way you're feeling is enough reason to do it.
Rant! Rant! I'm all for rants on cc. Especially ones that might help OP.
>>23665>it doesn't mean he doesn't care about me. He just wanted to see me naked
This doesn't sound good at all. I don't know what happened, but it sounds like he manipulated you and is still trying to manipulate you. Why don't you separate yourself from him and give yourself dome time to calm down and look at the situation more calmly and reasonably?
I just woke up. I think that while the things I was feeling and am feeling are valid, he didn't do it with the express intent to take advantage of me
He just did things without thinking of how potentially manipulative they were and when I told him about it he was horrified and said it'd never happen again
It doesn't change what happened, but I don't think he planned it that way anymore
He hasn't caused me harm otherwise and it'll take a lot of time to trust him again but I was scared that he was actually an evil person and I don't think he is
To make sure, I'm taking some time away from him to gather my thoughts
It definitely wasn't right of him to say those things, but it was mostly an expression of him panicking. I didn't validate it anyway because I was too busy breaking down on my own>But we care about you, anon. We want to see you grow tall and strong like an Oak.>I myself am interested in learning more about you.>You seem like a good soul.
I…thank you. Same goes for you, anon, it really helps to be here and read these things>We have a group diary thread on /feels/ for NEET/Hikkomoris. If you want to post about yourself – you can discuss your struggles, fears, desires, etc with us. Keep us updated and we will cheer you on as you go.
I posted there only once or twice but I think I'll be more active
At least there everyone can relate on largely the same stuff >>23675
You're right, that's what I'm doing now
I'm calmer now but I need more time on my own away from him to calm down and clear my head fully
I thought he was trying to manipulate me but then when I mentally shut down and started apologizing for even mentioning it and agreeing with everything he said, he told me to stop, that he was the one that needed to apologize and just because it wasn't his intention doesn't mean it didn't happen anyway
I can't help but think that that anyone who was really just being manipulative would've capitalized off me going along with them, make everything about them and talk about how badly I hurt them by even thinking of them that way
Maybe I'm just being hopeful, but either way, I'm going to think about it more and try to be more rational
Thank you for caring about me anons, I'm sorry for the mess, here's a kitten
I will never understand people who say "stop texting me, I'm trying to study!"
Bitch, it's not like I'm fucking spamming you with a billion texts without you responding first. You replied to the first one so I sent another. If you're studying then just wait until you're done before you respond, or better yet if your phone is such a distraction that you blame others for it, then put it on silent.
>>23689>If you're studying then just wait until you're done before you respond
I imagine it's a case where they know they lack the self control to not respond, so they'd rather request that you not give them anything to respond to. I'm the same way with people offering food to me.
Still, there's no reason for them to be rude about it like it's your fault.
You're definitely right that I can't force him to seek therapy or get better, it's up to him.
But is it unhealthy if I still want to spend time with him because we have things in common and make each other feel happy? Is it still a recipe for disaster if the company we share makes things easier?
I can't help but cling on to the happy times even though I know we can't actually date until we're both at a better mental/emotional point. Is it something I need to let go of?
It's safe to say from your responses that you're pretty damaged. It's going to get worse the more you stick around someone like him. Just lose it.
I want to go out for brunch or lunch on ny birthday. There's this new place by me that does lunch and high tea. It's really trendy and too expensive for me to justify going to normally, so I thought I'd go there. I'm still at work when the place us doing lunch, but I was excited to see I could easily make it to high tea. And then I realized their pricing for high tea starts at two seats. Maybe next year. :(
I mean I’d probably understand if she asked me nicely (although not really, how hard is it to put your phone on silent and place it somewhere out of sight/reach?) but her last texts were literally>whatever>let me do my homework
Almost made me feel guilty for texting back “sorry”.
How wrong is it seen socially to fuck your ex purely for sex, I'm sexually dysfunctional which is why it's a nice option for me to get off (psychological vaginismus that makes penetration impossible unless I've known the guy for a very long time and have attempted sex multiple times, and I tend to faint/seize after the guy withdraws) as a hook-up or fuck buddy isn't really a viable option until I find someone else to date long-term so I can get fucked well.
Very. He's your ex for a reason, so sticking around seems all kinds of fucked up.
Y'all just ever get tired when you have male friends and its really obvious sometimes that they only talk to you still because they wanna get in ur pants? But you refuse to stop talking to them because of your past abandonment issues? Yeah same
It's my birthday today, and if someone would wish me a happy birthday it would really make me happy. I know this is sad and pathetic, so don't bother giving me shit
29, which makes this even sadder. Thanks so much. You don't even have to deliver. I really didn't expect a reply, let alone so fast. Thank you ;_;
Thanks fren <3
Happy birthday! Sending my love and birthday wishes
That is also very fucked. No point in asking anyone if it's wrong.
!!! Oh my god thank you!!!!!!!
You are the best!! Thank you for putting a huge smile on my face!! Have a great day!!!!
I am so upset and I should've never come back. He doesn't give me attention, he's a depressed cunt and I probably have BPD which is why I stay away from people. Why couldn't I stay away from him? I'm so weak, I spend a whole year pretending I was dead but being bored got the best of me and now I'm craving the affection a broken manchild can and will never give me.
I don't need him most of the time, I can function but this was such a bad idea and I want to disappear completely again just so he'll feel the way he has made me feel sometimes. And that's really fucking cruel and something I've never done but here I am wanting to do it even though I know it's wrong. I want some fucking retribution, I want to cause pain. I hate knowing I could've avoided ALL of this if I hadn't been so weak and hadn't stopped being dead.
It's okay Anon! I've felt like this before and I actually found a way to live without him: I just pretend he doesn't exist while he's not talking to me. It's harder to do on weekends because I have nothing to do, but I can function properly on important days. Right now I already feel better. I just stopped thinking about it.
It took me years to master the art of not thinking about certain things when I know they will hurt me
I was thinking about your reply all day, it helped me be a better person and be more proactive in actually doing helpful, supportive things for others instead of just giving lip service.
I'll try my best!!
Do you have any hobbies you could focus on? Could you leave him, and try to find emotional support in new friends instead? I think trying to get revenge will just damage you both more. Can you make a clean break and block him on social media so you don't go back to him?
I'm sorry people like him exist anon, I hope someday you won't even think about him.
But thank you for this post, I was thinking about asking my ex if we can get back together and I feel like this is a sign I shouldn't.
My life is a mess.
>buy some anti-pimple tea tree oil concoction and try it for two weeks
>buy healing clay and try it out twice
No difference whatsoever.
>didn't drink milk and eat yoghurt for 1 1/2 month
Pimples still sprout.
I hate my skin. Have tried everything from caveman regime to using skincare regularly. Products either don't work at all or I get a reaction in form of tiny, white pimples. It's time to shave off my facial skin with a big kitchen knife.
Have you gone to a dermatologist?
This. Nothing worked for me for years until I saw one and they prescribed me Isotretinoin. Two months later and my skin was clear for the first time in 10 years.
I just got a prescription from my primary that I’m picking up later this week. Super stoked to start it
She must be autistic. Being told you’re super white is the greatest compliment anyone could give. I cry every day because I’m dark
>>23849>Do you have any hobbies you could focus on?
I have some but when I get very sad and don't have school or other things I am forced to focus on, it's hard for me to do the things I enjoy. That's one of the reasons I find myself thinking about him when I know I shouldn't>Could you leave him, and try to find emotional support in new friends instead?
I have! I have great (female) friends I can trust and share most things with, but he knew all the things I can't share with my friends. He's not a bad person, he's just… broken
Can you make a clean break and block him on social media so you don't go back to him?
I can but I think that'd be mean. Maybe not. If it gets worse I will do it, but ghosting him just like that would make me feel bad for a long time, and it would be worse than telling him how I feel because we've both had bad experiences with ghosting>>23856
My life is a mess too anon don't worry. I hope you don't go back to him. I've never been in a serious relationship but they seem so scary mainly for things like these. I don't know what your ex did to you or what happened but you shouldn't look back.
You'll get over him, and I'll get over him, and one day neither of us will have to think about them
Messed up a little at work today with one customer at my part time job. Basically we have these edible bowl things that I hate handling because it's really hard to put the product in without touching the bowl. She wanted one, so I made one but placed it on a metal surface for her to take instead of handing it directly to her. She got angry at me and called it dirty and disgusting that I did that, and that she no longer wanted it. I made her another one and gave it directly this time, feeling sad because of the dirty look she was giving me. She had a membership at the store and tried to give me a number, but I was busy trying not to cry so I couldn't hear her properly like twice, which only pissed her off more. Afterwards she stormed off.
I tried to get angry at her in my head but I couldn't because it was my fault as well. I told my mom about it later and she told me I was at fault for not handing it to her. It was very busy today (Easter) and I was having a hard time doing everything properly because we were understaffed. I've been trying to not think about it but it keeps coming back. I just want the incident out of my head.
She was a jerk, but technically it was your fault.
technically, it sounds more like it was the company/management's fault. Having to hand an edible product to the customer directly is dumb. The company should provide you with boxes or bags or wrapping or some way to package it.
It's like, yes you'd be at fault for placing a slice of cake onto the counter instead of into someone's hand, but the situation of having to put a slice of cake directly in a customer's hand in the first place is absurd.
What makes me keep thinking of it was that it was technically my fault. If it wasn't my fault I could just say "damn that lady was a cunt" and call it a day, but because it was my fault I'm stuck thinking about it.
I agree with you on that the product is dumb. It's an ice cream shop, so we just came out with these waffle bowl things. Normal waffle cones are easy to hand out because there is a paper wrapping on them, but to ensure these bowls do not touch anything you have to have three napkins, two for your hands and one to set the bowl down on. It is time consuming. I predict we'll stop doing them soon because hardly anyone wants them anyways, the concept is stupid in my opinion>>23940
Thanks, I think another reason the lady was angry was because she had to wait a while because at the time I was the only one who could help customers so it was a 20 minute wait to order.
>>23945>two for your hands and one to set the bowl down on
Working in food service, I expect you're required to wash your hands and all that. I'm surprised the food being touched by you is a problem.
Regarding it touching the counter, your manager should stop being a cheapskate and buy some paper plates or bowls to set the cone bowl in. Hell, even coffee filters. They're cheap and bowl-shaped.
Don't feel too bad about not doing what you were supposed to do if what you were supposed to do is unreasonable in the first place.
I work at a small kiosk in a mall, my manager was cleaning and I was helping the customers. We got time and a half for Easter so we were understaffed because my boss wanted to save money. It was constant all day so there was a line of about 15 groups at that time. I had to make all the orders and ring them up too, if they wanted something more complicated like a milkshake it would take more time, since we only use a machine for the mixing of the ice cream; we have to scoop, weigh, get out the milk, mix it, and clean the container after. We can only make them one at a time, so for a group that wants 3 milkshakes the entire order would take about 4 minutes as an example. About half of the people wanted these more complicated things so that held up the line more. I was being a bit sloppier as well because at that point my throat was killing me from all the talking (I was supposed to get a lunch break but never did so aside from a ten minute break it was nonstop) and I was focusing on going as fast as possible.
>who in their right mind would wait 20 minutes for ice cream?
The kind of people who go shopping for clothes on Easter I suppose.
>Aren’t most stores closed or something?
Not her, but most of the grocery stores in my area were. There was an Asian grocery store that was open, I assume because most of the employees didn't celebrate Easter anyway.
>Why is everybody at the mall getting ice cream on Easter instead of being with their families?
In general today:
-25% Chinese tourists who don't speak English
-50% Asian/Indians who don't celebrate the holiday
>You’d think people who just buy their own ice cream at a grocery store and serve themselves?
Yeah you would think. The ice cream where I work is quite overpriced, one 4 oz scoop costs the same as buying an entire pint of the same brand same flavor at a supermarket. I guess spending $7 for one ice cream doesn't seem so bad when you spent 1k on brand name clothes.
>Aren’t most stores closed or something? From a religious perspective - it’s a more significant holiday than Christmas.
In the mall I work at nothing was closed, I don't normally go shopping on Easter so I don't actually know if it is the norm to close or open.
>Are you currently in school - will you be able to leave this job behind soon?
Today was just a bad day, I like my job a lot. It is easy and all my coworkers are nice. Even though my boss is Jewish when it comes to scheduling people she treats me kindly. It is the first job I've had where I make more than minimum wage. Also this is the only job I've had where my employer actually listens to the hours I want. I am in school, so I generally request 20 a week but at my past job they gave me 30-35. I will probably leave the job summer next year as I will be searching for an internship/preparing to transfer from a community college to a university.
>Where do you live where people still go to malls?
It is next to an airport so all the tourists come here. I live in a state where a lot of Asian tourists come and they really like spending money on brands. It is a "premium outlet" mall so all of the expensive famous brands are here. My local mall is dead but the mall I work at always has a full parking lot.
That sounds amazing anon… You're so nice. I like reading, I like art, I like creating things but I haven't done it recently… I've been too focused on working and assignments but I never do them which is why I end up sad thinking about him… Maybe I should start drawing again? I have lots of unfinished projects, lots of unfinished things and finishing things is usually easier than starting them… I will do that, I will focus on writing and drawing and painting, that makes me feel satisfied even though I start hating those things after a few days
Thank you anon, I needed this, I needed you to tell me this. It's so obvious but I needed someone else to say it. What cool personal projects did you have in mind? You have good ideas. You're nice anon
No, no, writing is okay, don't worry about it anon. I like writing too, I have some short stories written. Again thank you for your help
I'm really self-hating myself for being a born with vagene right now. I'm going through a lot in my personal life and I'm stressed out by work and school, and I know this may be an irrational attempt of mine to pin it all on an irrelevant reason.
It hurts, though. When I was 7 and believed in God, I'd pray to Him I'd become male. Not because I wanted to be male, but because I saw that men could do more and seemed capable of more. I wish I could wither away and not exist. I still feel that way, even though I try to live in spite of it. I'm so irrational and idiotic, I feel as if I'm an exact example of why women could be construed as inferior.
>Have skin problems, pretty sure it's hidradenitis suppurativa but not diagnosed
>Develop cyst on inner thigh
>No insurance to see a doctor
>It gets so bad it's painful to walk
>Finally starts draining
>But now there's now a hole in my thigh
>Even if I had insurance I'd be too embarrassed to see a doctor because my thighs are scarred to hell and back from this
>Even if I had the nerve to get treated and insurance it won't undo the horrible scarring that would almost certainly turn away anyone interested in me
Death would be better than this. Maybe it'll become gangrenous and I can be free.
There are plenty of men who can't "do more" or "seem capable of more" than their peers. In fact I bet there are plenty of short skinnies you could wrassle to the ground at the drop of a hat, with no prior training to do so. Height is unchangeable, so is the mass you gain and can gain from having it, so it's good to be happy with what you have and make the most of it.
I don't know if I can wait any longer for the "right one" to lose my virginity to. My libido has been through the roof lately and I'm so close to just finding a rando on tinder or something. However, I feel that I've already waited so long that I might just as well save myself.
Just because you're saving yourself doesn't mean you can't try to find someone to spend your life with. Don't bother with the apps. After you "lose it" you'll only be left empty and wanting love, and not lust in an endless cycle of pain. Talk to boys but don't give yourself up to them. You can do it, anon!
the zenith of the caveman has passed lmao. I get that feelings like this aren't, and don't have to be, rational, but strength gets you nothing in life. Understanding how people think and feel is far more invaluable, and it also happens to be a feminine trait.
Most men are bad at sex. If it's only libido your fingers or toys can do a better job than any man. As >>24125
stated losing it to some random guy will only make you feel empty.
I don't know what's making you so insecure about this stuff, but whatever it is keep it away. It's not as glamorous as it looks.
i am alone, and im not sure if it bothers me or if i like it.
ive gotten more used to being alone, ever since i was bullied by pretty much the whole of my class when i was between 7-9, and i spent all of lunch and break entertaining myself instead of playing with the others.
the last time i had a few proper friendships was when i was 16, but those ended when i had to move schools and had no time to spend with them anymore. im currently back in my home country at university, but im in a program where most people are from other countries, and people usually group up within their own etnicities, so its harder to make friends. in my group pretty much everyone except me are from 2 specific counries, and they speak their own languages amongst themselves so obviously its not like i can just go there and expect to join in the conversation. i like all of them tbh, theyre really nice, but its harder to make friends with them because of the language thing.
today i was talking to this guy, and he asked me who my friends were, im honestly not sure how i could answer that question, and i ended up looking so stupid when i couldnt answer it.
That's very incel of you.
It's okay to say you don't have friends, anon. The world won't harm you for it.
Yeah kinda incelly but I still have sex but I feel weird when people have sex with people other than me
Humans only exist because of sex you know
I realize that lmao, I want to get over that feeling
>be culinary student in last year before I graduate
>score my first kitchen job
>excited as fuck, finally getting experience in this field so i can land a better job after graduation
>work for three days this past week, had a blast, love my boss and other coworkers
>email boss yesterday asking if i can bring my own soap and dish detergent because theirs irritated my skin (this would be fine since there's only two people working in the kitchen including me and the other person is leaving for another job)
>immediately get a reply saying i'm not allowed to work there anymore because she didn't like my work performance
I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal, just something I can learn from but my self esteem has completely flushed down the drain. I've found myself in a deep depression the past couple of days where all I want to do is sleep and cry. It's sunny and warm out but all I can see is darkness and feel cold. I feel like I'm overreacting, but there's a voice in the back of my head telling me I'm worthless and a failure who will never succeed in this industry and am doomed to be a minimum wage slave the rest of my life until I finally off myself. I'm really hoping I get over myself soon because I'm having second thoughts of returning to school next week.
Threaten to sue her for discriminating against your health condition.
I don't think it was my fragrance allergy that cost me the job, I'm sure it was something else I did poorly and didn't realize at the time. My mom is trying to convince me to ask her for feedback as to why I was let go but I'm too embarrassed.
I think you should. If it really was something you did, knowing about it could prevent you from losing a future job.
>>24343>says she doesn't like your work performance>doesn't expand on this so you can try and improve before she fires you
What the fuck? This doesn't seem right at all. If it's something you're unaware of you have every right to ask what bullshit she's on about.
And it's not even like she came to you first, you emailed her and she thought "MIGHT AS WELL TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO FIRE ANON WITH NO WARNING."
I'm legit angry for you, anon. Pls don't give up.
Yeah you're right, I need to work up the courage and just do it. Fingers crossed that it won't be too embarrassing.>>24350
I have mixed feelings of anger and sadness, but mostly toward myself. Though what I really wish she had done during the process was stay in the kitchen and help to guide me a bit or have someone else who was more experienced do it. I was left with another employee that was only on her second week there (still in training) and was doing her own thing, and basically I was thrown on the job and asked to follow recipes on an excel document/do everything else on my own while no one was looking over my shoulder. It's confusing to say the least.
My only guess is that they didn't think you were a good fit for one reason or another and chose to write it off as a work performance issue. Something sounds really shady about the whole thing honestly.
Try not to beat yourself up too much over it even if they don't get back to you. Stuff like this happens unfortunately. There will be other jobs, keep your head up.
>>24371>Something sounds really shady about the whole thing honestly.
Agreed, especially because of how the rejection was sent as a response to an Email asking about soap instead of being sent on its own. Would she have sent the rejection Email otherwise?
I feel really shit today. I used to write about my feelings but the worst part is lately I don't feel much of anything in particular. Just a general kind of sickly unhappy. I'm still living with my parents while I do grad school stuff, but I hate it and I'm envious of my friends who have the money to move out or have careers. I feel very hopeless.
>>24408>I'm still living with my parents while I do grad school stuff, but I hate it
Do you have a difficult relationship with your family?
Public relations, I have a business degree also>>24426
yes, it is not a very stable family. I don't like coming home
>want to write more so i can improve and better enjoy a hobby that employs writing
>hate what i create and am afraid for some reason despite knowing nobody is ever going to see what i'm typing but me + feel that i'll be shit forever so what's the point of even trying
>want to get better at art since i've always admired artists
>disgusted by what i draw even though i know it's for the purpose of getting better and blah blah blah see point 2
this is such an awful cycle
[Doki] Gugure! Kok…
Has anyone else struggled with a shopping addiction?
Mainly my addiction was anime-related merchandise and I have been making good progress on that (don't have "monthly orders" anymore and have cut back on spending around 75%) but I still feel kind of anxious whenever I don't have a package coming in the mail. I've found myself getting things like Christmas presents for other people despite it being quite a ways away. Sometimes I find myself thinking at my part time job "why am I even here if I'm not going to be spending the money I make" which is stupid but it happens sometimes anyways. My bank account isn't at sub $100 all the time now which is nice though.
Stop buying useless shit and get an actual hobby.
Kind of. I'd get invested in new hobbies and splurge on way more than I could afford to lose. While I'm satisfied with my purchases, I could have been wiser and waited for sales or shopped in cheaper places. Definitely bought some things I didn't like as well.
Have you set aside a monthly budget for online shopping? This tip was from a YouTube video: create a separate savings account for your money-draining hobbies and deposit your budget for the month in there. You can choose to either spend at your leisure or save it up for the months to come for other purchases.
When the impulse nags your willpower, acknowledge the thought but allow the thought to run its course. You can enact this through placing an item in the cart for a week and then purchasing it if the need still exists, or planning ahead for sales and with the budget plan above.
My "real hobbies" don't cost money.>>24500>create a separate savings account for your money-draining hobbies and deposit your budget for the month in there. You can choose to either spend at your leisure or save it up for the months to come for other purchases.
Oh that's a good idea, I'll probably do that. I just have everything in one account at the moment.>When the impulse nags your willpower, acknowledge the thought but allow the thought to run its course. You can enact this through placing an item in the cart for a week and then purchasing it if the need still exists, or planning ahead for sales and with the budget plan above.
I have been doing this though and it's been working for me. In particular I'm proud of myself for not buying an expensive doll I had my eye on when I know past me would have gone for it as soon as my paycheck came. Thanks anon.
I purged again for the first time in a month? I'm not as bad as I was years ago but I just… It helps me cope with negative emotions. Its like everything that comes out of me are the bad things that I feel. But it doesn't help… I still feel bad
I really don't know what to do anymore.
I originally planned to write my final exam in the middle of february, but a month and a half earlier I panicked so hard that I decided to write it next semester, meaning in august.
Plenty of time to study, be prepared and not get nervous, one would think. But today in 3 months will be the test and I still have barely done any studying. If I fail this test, all those years of education will be for nothing. I honestly think I will have to kill myself if that happens.
How do I stop procrastinating? Just the thought of studying makes me so anxious and depressed, that my life completely spirals downwards. Instead of finally doing something, I neglect my hygenie, let my room become a mess and only lay in bed while eating and being on the internet all night long. Yesterday I ate two big bags of potato chips and two whole chocolates in one binge session, I probably way close to 100kg now.
What should I do?? Honestly, losing weight can wait, but if I don't find a way to study asap…
Make a goal to study 10 minutes a day. Make yourself do this every day. You might find yourself on a roll and start going over the allotted 10 minutes. If this happens a few days in a row, you can try upping the daily goal to 15 minutes. This is working for me.
It helps to mark off the days on a calendar or use a habit-building app.
I'm very immature and probably autistic, I wish I could find someone similar to me. Meeting people and talking to them feels like a business, and I'm starting to empathize with the "robots" from other boards. It's hard.
Do any fellow anons have a higher libido than their boyfriend? My boyfriend's is very low and it can be frustrating at times… It's been weeks since we've had sex and I'm thinking of resorting to buying some new toys.
He is probably cheating on you tbh.
Nah, we've been together for almost a decade and his libido has always been low. Mine used to be so high that we had a couple of arguments about it but it's gone down now that I'm not a teen anymore. Just wanted to know if anyone also has a partner the same way.
>I am able to fuck any man I wanted to and have, I can literally look at a guy from day , say I want to fuck him and end up banging him. Everyone wants to fuck me
Uhh that's all completely normal for any at least average looking girl.
From time to time my libido is higher than his, but taking the initiative and trying to seduce him usually does the trick.>It's been weeks since we've had sex
That's so long. Did he tell you the reason? Was your sex life ever different?
Not that Anon, but what app would you recommend?
I feel so fucking lazy today… I'm still in my pajamas, I don't want to get up or change into real clothes. I told my friends I would go out and get some stuff done today but the urge to just lie here like a slug is very strong. I blame my period and my personality in general.
Same. At least I changed the kitty litter in my cats' litterbox today.
You can do it, anon! Usually it gets better once you manage leave the house
I did it!! thanks anon. I'm sure your kitty appreciates your efforts
These days I'm always so angry thinking about the horrible state of the world. I feel like I have some delayed teenage angst phase or something. I don't want to be jaded and miserable forever and drive everyone away from me, but it feels so hopeless.
Have you considered taking a break from the internet or news for a few days? The phrase "ignorance is bliss" exists for a reason.
Think of the best way to make the world a better place for everyone around you, and do it, anon. Be a go-getter.
I'm just amused by it, hopefully climate change will fuck us all up.
What's your favourite apocalypse scenario?
I am Venezuelan, i just know most of the third world will end up having Chinese and russian proxy socialist governments. They´ll starve the shit out of everyone, the world won´t end, there will just be a new dark age, with some corporations bailing out of any kind of restraints and building the private armies and their own private rule of law, their CEOS all on mars while the other rest of the world dies off in commie shit.
I see an omen to this in Twitter and Google working together with China. Corporatism for rich fucks, commie scraps for the rest.
I'm pretty confident the human race will die out eventually
If things go to shit, I’m hoping for a Mad Max-esque post apocalyptic world
Tag yourself that’s me on the right
are you living in venezuela or you moved out the country?
I'm the cute hourglass girl on the left
School is making me feel extremely down again currently
I really like my current field of study, but the workload is too big and it's driving me to bite my nails/skin like some kind of disgusting caveman, which causes me even more stress
I wouldn't say it makes me suicidal since I have something to live for, but it is NOT making me feel good right now. i want to stop existing for a month or 4, get the sleep I need, and then resume life.
So I was drinking with a friend last week and blacked out. I can’t remember what happened but I’m pretty sure I was telling her how I hate being single and having no confidence around guys because yesterday we were texting about going out this weekend and she told me she wanted to set me up with a guy she knew. I told her I was hesitant because I’ve never been on a date and she said she’d invite him out when we go drinking so it’d be a group of people and there’d be no pressure. I could tell she’s concerned for me so I said fuck it invite him.
And now I’m kind of freaking out. I know absolutely nothing about this guy, except that he’s a virgin and I don’t really want to probe her for more info. I don’t even know if he’s interested in dating or if she’s going to try and convince him to go out with me. I’m afraid of drinking too much and fucking things up. I went out and bought a new dress today because I thought the stuff I usually wear is too slutty or casual. I wanted to lose some more weight before putting myself out there.
I know I’m overthinking this and taking it too seriously. He probably doesn’t even care, and I don’t know if he’d be attracted to me, or if we’ll click. But the last time a guy was interested in me I freaked out and ghosted him. I don’t know when I’ll have another chance like this. I just needed to vent.
You need to give it a chance, anon. I'd love it if a friend tried to help me find someone. Please don't let her efforts go to waste.
>>24130>most men just need to blow a load in a hot woman to have great sex>Great sex for woman means finding a guy that actually takes time to learn what you like and how you want it
The search continues
I have a friend who has a boyfriend that is friends with a lot of single slightly nerdy yet attractive looking guys who have their life together. She tells me stories about all of them because her boyfriends friend group gets together quite frequently on trips and she gets to go along with them. She always comes back talking about how much fun she had with her BF and all his friends. Feel slightly envious of her.>Have too much pride and feel embarrassed to ask if she would ask her boyfriend to set me up with his friends on blind dates
Yeah, I’m honestly grateful that she cares about me that much to find someone for me. Most of my other friends either have no male friends or have guy friends I wouldn’t mesh with. I’m gonna give it a shot, but I’m still really nervous.
I never do anything right.
I’m stupid and I mess up everything.
I’m never going to be good enough.
I ruin everything.
I let everyone down.
I’m a failure. A disappointment.
I’m so fucking stupid.
Everything’s my fault.
I’m a waste of space and everyone would be better off without me. The only thing I’ve ever done right in my whole life was finally coming to the realization that I’m a piece of shit. I’m a disappointment. I’ll never be perfect. Never. I just spend my whole life chasing after it, but never even feeling the touch of it’s coattails.
Just ignore this, I’m stupid.
Write down a list of the people you have helped. Even in a small way.
And the top 3 things that are good about yourself.
And then 1 thing you want to achieve in the next week. Write it down multiple times and tape it to the door of your room and stuff.
What do you have to lose? Is some boy going to say “who dis nerdy girl and why she interested in me, hurrrrrr?”
Really the worst thing that could happen is rejection, and that will happen frequently in dating anyway. At least you know they are the right people.
Make it a goal to ask to go on 1 date on the next 2 weeks, ok?
>>25046>the top 3 things that are good about yourself
Not her, but personally I've always had an issue with this. Not just myself either, but describing people's personalities in general. I can give facts about people no problem, but I always draw a blank when I have to answer broad questions like "What is this person like?"
Not the same person but just thinking on an answer for those questions made me even more deppresed.
Did something happen to make you suddenly realize all of this?
I can relate. I'm really slow, have cruised through life taking the easy path (and thus have no understanding of the world), mess up simple tasks, and ruin the lives of people I have relationships with.
I'm turning 30 next week, and I'm freaking out about it. I've achieved nothing, done nothing with my life. Or at least, it feels that way.
I've been an awkward, anxious shut-in since leaving university, the last time I was actually outgoing. I don't even know why I became this way.
A long-term friend died this last month too, someone I've known for nearly two decades now. Her funeral was the other day, and it's still screwing me up.
I know that people grow older, and people die all the time. None of this should be hitting me this hard, but it's leaving me a wreck most nights. Just lying in bed, wanting to stop existing.
It's stupid, and it's self-indulgent and it's moronic, and I can't stop.
I've been watching some shows from when I was younger, a couple of animes from the early 00s in particular. And I'm just wishing and wishing I could go back. That things could be like they were back then. I used to identify with the cheerful outgoing characters, and I wish I could go back to that.
I want things to be like they were, and I want /me/ to be like I was back then. But I can't seem to do it.
This reads like something stupid I'd have written on a livejournal fifteen years ago or something. I feel like a spoiled brat even typing this out, like I'm being completely asinine.
But what friends I've got, I don't feel like I can talk to them about it. And the couple I feel I can, I don't want to burden with my incessant self pity and whining.
So I guess I just shovel it out here. Sorry about that.
I don't want to kill myself. I know that people I care deeply about would be upset by that.
But I wish I could just un-exist, so they'd never have had to care in the first place.
I turned 30 a few months ago and had a similar reaction. I ended up quitting my job because I realized I was 30 now and still not doing what I really wanted to do with my life.
I don't have any bullshit feel-good advice. Shit just sucks.
Whenever I fail at something, I tell myself "nevermind, I'll do better next time", but I forget I only have one life and there will never be a "next time".
>be constantly anxious, pessimistic, and insecure
>ask bf for the 1000th time if he still has feelings for me and actually wants to be with me
>mfw he says “is this going to be a constant thing?”
I’m such a nuisance. This probably won’t last because I’m too high maintenance/clingy and he’ll probably get sick of me. Can I die?
Are you caring for him, as much as he's caring for you? Remember that romance isn't a one-way street. I'd be thankful, if anyone so much as sat and listened to my problems.
Same except for the last part. Instead he stood me up on a date, gave a half-assed apology with an unreasonable reason, and has gone MIA for a day since. Now I'm anxious, pessimistic, insecure, and alone. I can't check up on him in person either for Reasons. Let's die together, or this fucking migraine will kill me first.Real advice since it's shitty to butt in with my own venting: validation for your existence won't come from anyone but yourself. What do you feel about yourself? When did you start seeking affirmation from others? Why aren't you satisfied with your life? >>25089 has a point, but try applying that advice for you and yourself. Listen to yourself cry, filter out the self-pity (not intended to be demeaning with this word because I indulge in that too much myself); and figure out how you want to overcome your bad habits to retain your boyfriend and your sanity.
Yes. I always try to ask him how he’s feeling and would let him vent to me with open arms if he ever needed to. I’m always eager to listen to him talk even if it’s him sperging about video games the whole time. Hopefully he feels the same about me, but he seemed a little irritated when I asked for validation again and I would’ve felt better if he was more… tender and reassuring with me? I’m basically asking to be coddled/nurtured a bit, I guess. Maybe I’m asking for too much. His response just made me feel stupid for being vulnerable.>>25091
I’m so sorry that happened anon. We can die together.
I’ve just always been like this in relationships. Constantly worried that they’re thinking of leaving me and needing constant reassurance or else my thoughts start spiraling into negativity. I don’t know how to change it but I’m trying medication.
here's to hoping i code something good by the end of june and bring in some money because god knows i fucking need it
what can be done with basic knowledge in c++ ? i don't fucking KNOW but i'm about to goddamn find out + learn more of the language and ahaha i'm freaking out a little here.
WISH ME LUCK, MINERS almost said farmers lmao
I assume there's some engine that can compile C++ for mobile devices.
Make a low-effort, gimmicky mobile game to rake in the cash.
Bonus points for ripping off classic Flash games.
F F F F
F F F F
>be robot, unable to enjoy anything social
>don't have the attention span to watch something and keep myself occupied so I get up or eventually feel like watching something is actual torture
>vidya gets boring quickly
>reading makes me tired and I lose interest in an hour or so
>can't enjoy anything
What the fuck do I do at this point?
I was thinking about smoking, that that could numb me a little or some shit, because at this point leaving my home for classes also feels incredibly straining. I hate the fucking smell of smokes and I'm frail so I can't handle alcohol whatsoever, so I thought about getting a vape and using it to distract myself while I'm trying to play/watch/read something.
I'm aware it's not exactly healthy, but I don't think that antidepressants that'll give me insomnia are a better choice either. And don't even try to mention a psych's visit, that shit's off the list before it even gets on there.
>can't watch shit because my attention span makes it tortorous
Also, can anyone tell me how to fix this? I'd really appreciate it, I've promised myself that I'll watch shows and whatever to at least waste time.
Thanks, miners, I love you all.
Have you tried getting lab tests? I mentioned to an anon in another friend that deficiencies can have similar effects to depression.
And have you ever been prescribed an antidepressant before?
Not yet, and I wouldn't really know where to get started either.
And no, I haven't.
So I don't know if you have a primary physician, but there are various places that can do blood work for you. My university offers to do blood tests and it was $10 for me.
If you set up a routine it could help because you're incorporating something into your life everyday to the point where it feels natural. Kind of how when we wake up we wash our faces and brush our teeth immediately.
I've gotten blood test previously, I just didn't understand what you exactly meant at first. I don't have any notable deficiencies that were pointed out. I could look for my bloodwork papers but I'm honestly not that desperate.
I've been practicing reading and writing Korean for the past week or som so that gives me something to do. I check the app at least 3-5 times every day and I somehow still keep faithfully practicing. I'm glad about that at least, but once I'm done I'm not sure what's next. I was thinking about learning Chinese next, language and all, solely because of how much of their media I actually consume. It's a cool thing to be learning languages and such because it makes you feel productive, but it doesn't take as much time out of my day to make it feel like an actual habit or routine.
Okay, sorry if I wasn't clear enough. It's cool you're learning a language! I've been practicing writing kanji to learn japanese. I know you said you dislike social things, but maybe you could find an online group to talk about learning languages and watch Korean and Chinese media with. If you have other people holding you accountable, you might feel more obligated to concentrate on something.
Side note, I wouldn't recommend vaping. I know too many girls hooked on vaping and juuling, trust me it's not fun.
>>25660>can't watch shit because my attention span makes it tortorous
Are you genuinely interested in watching the stuff and just unable to remain still for long enough to complete it, or are you watching it because you feel like you should but are then hit with an overwhelming desire to do something else?
If the latter, have you considered that you simply don't like TV/vidya/reading on a basic level? There are a million other hobbies you could try out; don't feel like you have to have certain ones just because they're the most common.
If the former, then it sounds like a doctor problem to me.
Don't worry about it please, I appreciate your answer. I've tried online groups like that but I can't bear it, most of them are just normies who form cliques and ignore everyone else.
I'll take your word on the vaping thing.>>25670
A good question, honestly. I've never thought about it that deep. I'm both interested and not, the idea of finishing a show or series is somehow distant, still. I'd guess it's the former, though. I can't sit still when watching something, for sure.
Has this always been the case? I'm with >>25670
that you should consider seeing a doctor. You might have something like ADD.
I have kept in touch with one friend group from high school since we graduated in 2013. Recently alot of them have gotten engaged and that's awesome for them and like I don't expect to be in bridal parties or anything but my one friend that I had known the longest, and the only friend that had been consistent for me without drama all through school invited the whole friend group to her wedding but not me. I know we haven't talked for a few years on a regular basis but I still expected an invite. Am I wrong to be upset about it?
you have a right to feel upset, but at the same time you cant blame her. you cant control other peoples opinion of you so its best to accept it and move on