New vent thread 21617
Old thread >>>/feels/18315
is at cap.
Gather here, O heartbroken, angry, or happy ones.
I don’t know why I’m still so hung up on my ex of 2 years ago. I need to talk it out with someone but I don’t know how to bring up that conversation. I feel like something hasn’t brought me enough closure, or maybe I haven’t finished healing. maybe because it’s Valentine’s Day coming up and it’s also he and his new gfs anniversary then too
>>21619>>21619>has had a bf
Stacy get out
At least tell us your secrets.
My autistic friend punched me in the face because I told her she is whiter than sour cream.
Her family is from Sweden, and as such she is blonde-haired, blue-eyed and has rosy white skin. She was going on about how she can’t relate to white people because she is Jewish. I was like what are you talking about? You’re a fucking Swede. Then we had a mild disagreement before I made the above statement, which ended in a swift punch.
Maybe I pushed the envelope but I’m super peeved about the bruise on my cheek. I don’t know if it’s me but it seems like every autistic friend I’ve had always uses violence to express their annoyance, even if they are “high functioning”.
Yuri Catgarin, Cat…
Sometimes, you can't get closure on things, and you just have to accept that what happened happened and move on. I have no idea what the situation was like, though, so I really can't give much advice or be that helpful.
(Copypastad frm old thread)
I feel so pathetic about crying over a job because they want to revisit the next steps after I graduate. Ik I posted on lolcow but god I feel so fucking pathetic crying about something that wasn't even guaranteed. It might not even a soft rejection and I'm just overreacting because they didn't give me an offer.
Shit hurts but I'll be better tomorrow. I just can't focus on my studying fuck.
I don't even know what to say to the company either. Ugh.
It was meant for >>21619
, I just messed up.
Sounds like an awful friend.
Good friends don’t punch other friends, even in disagreements. >>21623
From your post it seems like they havent
rejected you, which is good, right? It can get really frustrating job hunting, so don’t feel bad crying. I hope you felt better this morning. Let us know how the job application progresses, good luck <3
I know that if I die no one will care and it makes me very bitter. At the same time, it motivates me to stay alive so that may be a good thing.
we could've been such good friends…
i know there's a sea of people out there but damn finding someone with similar interests & background to your own is so difficult, for me anyhow.
but she's gone & there's nothing i can do about it. i've gotta suck it up!
holy fuck though.
I came to uni to make friends, relationships, get a social life etc
now Im here I realise I dont have the tools to do that, and if I did Im not really interested anyway. I dont want to make new friends, I kind of liked this one person and wanted to date them, but Ive gotten over it now I guess
I dont know why Im still here. Im not making friends and I really dont care about getting a degree
Same place, socially. Although I am here mainly for the degree.
I keep getting interested in people or even approaching them but then either fail or lose interest as soon as they also like me. What went wrong, anon? Hate being lonely but also hate being with others.
New vent thread 21648
Thanks anon! As predicted, I am always a baby the day something happens, but the day after I am totally okay. Wew.
They emailed back and said that they recruit (again? Was confused here) in the fall, so I'm guessing I passed the initial interview(s)? They also said to send my resume when I'm about to graduate and that they'll send it to the appropriate person. Weh. I guess it's not an outright rejection but I'm still a bit confused.
Thanks for the love, anon ♡ I hope everything is going well for you.
Where did you find this picture of me
I'm heartbroken and I just want a girlfriend because I'm tired of boys and their bullshit.
On Christmas my bf gifted me a decorative box. I was confused at first, but then he told me, he found it in a neighbours trashcan and thought it would make a cool gift.
I know men can be kinda stupid with gifts, but I was devastated. He got what he wished for from me as a gift and I got…trash.
Now it’s Valentine’s Day. I mailed his gift to him as I had to work and e-mailed him a valentines card. No reaction from him till evening where he complains that I didn’t tell him “happy valentines”. Told him I emailed him a card, he replies with “oh that’s supposed to be a valentines card? I didn’t understand it”. I checked the mail tracking and see that he received and signed my package. I didn’t even bother anymore to ask him about it as I realized that he didn’t get anything, not even a card for me.
I’ve come to the realization that he doesn’t give a flying tuck about me and I have to break up. Shit hurts man
I think your bf is in the right tbh. you sound very materialistic
Her bf gave her literal garbage and didn't thank her for the gift she gave lmao.
Some people have expectations in a relationship. Although I hate getting gifts and plan to express that in a relationship, it's understandable that some people want their favours returned as a sign of affection.
Anon, have you talked directly to your bf about this issue?
he saw a cool box, its not garbage just because its in the garbage. if someone walked past a skip and their just happened to be some shit they thought I would like, Id be happier that a person notices stuff I like rather than buying some shit from the store out of obligation
and it sounds like he didnt say thank you because she didnt wish him happy valentine, which he is upset about because he understands that hearing that is more important than some gift or shitty e-card
It doesn't sound like decorative boxes are of anon's specific interest though lol. Sure, if she was into…idk, vintage dolls and he found one and thought of her that would apply. But it seems as if he saw it and thought "good enough" rather than consider her at all.
I think they're both kind of in the wrong. But anon definitely needs to tell him her issue rather than just silently being bitter. Guaranteed he isn't a mind reader lol.
Love language is cheesy but I feel like it applies here and these two are speaking it differently. Maybe her bf prefers words of affirmation so he assumes that's what she likes too.
The box was a plain stationary box with roses printed on it available at any dollar store.
He bought for his bestie and parents regular gifts they would enjoy, I was with him and helped him choose em. He doesn’t have money issues and knew what I would spend on him as he had wished for that specific gift. I hope this explains a bit more.
Do you ever think this is just a passive aggressive jab at you personally? It seems you're caught up on these actions and junk, but I gotta admit I wonder how your relationship is for him to act this way also. Have you ever talked to him as to why he doesn't give you decent gifts? Is he aware this is something you desire? And I mean talk to him in a manner that doesn't come from anger at him and have it turn into an a fight where no one will listen to each others words and it's just an anger venting match. He clearly is capable of buying you decent gifts, but there has to be a reason he acts the way he does to you.
Part of this comes from personal experience, I've been treated like utter shit by people in past relationships. They would do nice things for me, but in the same vein they would also treat me like horrific trash to the point of trying to push me into suicide. So hand made thoughtful gifts and other dumb shit sounds cute and nice, but when every other day of the year was "Kill yourself you worthless piece of trash, this world would be better off without you." I'd gift them trash items because no one worth spending money on speaks to me like that no matter if they decide to get me cute gifts for my birthday/valentines day or whatever the fuck holiday.
Are you seriously going this far to justify his behaviour? The "gift" he gave her was literally found in the trash.
>love short men
>most want shorter women and there are plenty of those around
>even if he wants a taller gf he wouldn't like because I'm only 3-4" taller than him and he would leave me for someone taller
What's the point in living
>>21709>Giving someone insight on possibly why someone is acting shitty is justification of their behavior.
Stop jumping to conclusions. You're just trying to stir shit for no other good reason but to raise drama and argue with people. Clearly their relationship is a clusterfuck of non-communication because they are on totally two different wavelengths from each other. I care more about helping people understand each other than trying to incite anger and try to do a "who is right and who is wrong" argument.
And let me play devil's advocate for a second here, what even makes you think this person is telling the truth in the full spectrum of the events that happened. I've dealt with enough BPD assholes on the internet pretending what what they give for a viewpoint is a genuine and actual telling of the events that happened. "I do nothing but show unconditional love and do everything they want, and they reward me with nothing but abuse and heart break. They don't give a shit about me." that's all I read, and that's the key sign of a BPD story. They do everything right and all shitty actions of someone else is unwarranted and have no root cause to them because they are perfect and did no wrong.
But regardless, what I'm saying is clearly this person is actually capable of buying gifts at a store instead of dumpster diving as a insane cheap asshole who doesn't know better and prob has autism, if everything was told in 100% full truth. Since he's capable of doing simple tasks like a normal functioning human being, so clearly he's doing it on purpose for some ulterior motive. So if this person actually cares about salvaging the relationship, I gave insight on how to go about trying to fix it and perhaps better understanding each other so they can meet each others needs better. Instead of dropping a relationship because of a misunderstanding of another's emotions and needs.
>match on Tinder with a total fucking cutie
>end up going to a small restaurant in town for a date
>super excited because he seems great on paper (okay job, fit, hilarious, accomplished)
>awkward but serviceable in person
>reveals he doesn't make nearly as much as I expected he did
>end up having to pay bill because his card declines; huge red flag
>end up having to take an Uber because he "was getting a ride from his friend" (pretty sure he lied and got his own Uber, and if he did, how the fuck did he pay for it?)
>texts me not even an hour after I get home
>"hey had a great time, I'll pay next time I swear:)"
God, I don't want a next time. He really oversold himself and I hate him. This was my first time using Tinder. Is this what every experience is going to be like?
Okay, so what I'm getting from your post is, he never stated how much he made. You assumed and then got mad that he wasn't wealthy. I'm guessing that both of you are in your mid 20s to early 30s at the most, meaning neither of you have been working that long, but you're upset because his pocket wasn't as big as you had assumed? I don't care if you don't want to continue to see him. That's completely up to you and depends on your own values, but your post comes off immature and shallow. Kinda bitchy to hate someone for not being rich.
I agree with >>21721
Maybe he just paid some of his bills and was cleaned out but really wanted a date anyway (with you!). How did he oversell himself? By telling you his job/education? You really can't always tell by that.
And doesn't it feel nice to pay for food for a cute guy? Generosity is a good feel + you now have leverage over him. Paying on the first date is power.
Or are just a trad gal? If so perhaps you should only look for men explicitly into that.
>moved in with my boyfriend after 4 months together
>pretty fast but we seemed perfect for each other
>he is pretty sarcastic but never mean before
>on my first day here I bought a small bowl of potpourri and put on the table
>he got really mad, accusing me of 'being a typical woman who decorates everything'
>we had an argument
>the next day came home from work
>he had sarcastically decorated the entire apartment
>for example he had spray painted the words 'live laugh love' on every wall, on the wooden floor, on the toilet seat
>bought random twigs and branches and dog poop from outside and had them in a giant mixing bowl with 'fresh natural scents' written balanced on my potpourri bowl
>says 'OH I JUST DECORED LIKE A LADY'
>we have another fight and i end up breaking things off
>he is now mad at me and harassing me about this
What's with the BPD paranoia on certain internet circles? You people have no idea what BPD is. At this point it's just a hollow insult and a poor attempt to discredit the other person.
>>21730>for example he had spray painted the words 'live laugh love' on every wall, on the wooden floor, on the toilet seat>bought random twigs and branches and dog poop from outside and had them in a giant mixing bowl with 'fresh natural scents' written balanced on my potpourri bowl
I'm sorry anon, but were you dating a 14-year-old boy?
He sounds insane what the fuck.
You broke up and he's still
mad at you for…decorating the house? Good riddance.
Is he minimalist or something? If he has a hangup he should have addressed it before you moved in together.
Good on you for breaking things off, he sounds unhinged.
Y'know, mum, maybe you're tired, ill, achy and can't sleep ever because you're morbidly obese, obviously I can't say this but it's true so whatever.
i want to play fate/go since the plot seems interesting but i also just narrowly avoided spending 50 bux in hopes of rolling a character so i can enjoy his voice clips and animations…yeah. it's dangerous
also the gameplay isn't anything special, it requires a shitton of grinding, honestly just seems like a hassle.
probably just gonna seek out gameplay vids on yt & call it a day
Jesus Christ, what's his damage?
Good for you. He sounds like he could have been dangerous if he was there just another week.>for example he had spray painted the words 'live laugh love' on every wall, on the wooden floor, on the toilet seat>bought random twigs and branches and dog poop from outside and had them in a giant mixing bowl with 'fresh natural scents'
I would have called the fucking police.
There is no way in hell that this is real. Maybe I'd believe the thing about the dog poop,, but there is no way anyone would graffiti their own apartment just to make a statement.
Oh I know what BPD is. I lived with someone who had it for many years and it was an awful experience. But it's okay pretend you do nothing wrong, and BPD is an innocent mental illness that isn't human toxicity in it's purest form in an uncontrollable format.
Spoiler: All BPD is a cycle of enjoying someone in such blind faith that they don't realize any faults and put them on a pedastool. And then changing their view point after either some minor event or some uncontrollable change where they decide they are the worst person ever on earth and focus on nothing but their faults at all times and then proceeds to put themselves above those people. Acting as if they are somehow better than everyone else because in their warped mind, all they see is a pile of human flaws while viewing themselves as someone who at least has some good in them compared to others.
BPD is a awful mental illness and most of the people who are diagnosed with it all think they can "control" it but in reality they still act like ass hats to everyone but they are never aware of it and blame the people around them instead of themselves. Just like shitters in MOBAs. And seeing how you are defending this horrific illness and how it turns decent people into literal human monsters, I'm getting a good feeling you have it too and are completely unaware of how other people view you because no one defends BPD. Literally no normal human who isn't mentally ill.
today i took some random guys pamphlet under the assumption he was handing them out, we laughed about it and i gave it back but i know this is some shit thats gonna haunt me when im trying to live my life, why am i so socially retarded?
Oof, I've done that before. Honestly anon, everyone does it. Everyone has those social fuck ups that you look back on and wish you could rip out your jugular and just die right there so you can escape the reminder that you looked like an idiot in front of someone who prob forgot what you did after a week. You just gotta go on with life and accept that you make mistakes instead of holding yourself to a level expectation of being perfect. It's hard to view your own life objectively because you know when you fuck up, but a lot of times people who you barely know have fucked up too, but you aren't aware of it so you get a false sense of social perfection from everyone around you when it's not the case. That person you interacted with I'm sure laid a hot "you too" unto someone's lap when told "Enjoy your food" or "Enjoy X thing" when the service person has no intent of joining you in enjoying thing they wish you enjoyment in or even the spicy "Happy birthday" you too. It happens, you gotta try to accept this fact of life instead allowing it to eat you up inside in horrific shame.
nta but even though you accept your mistakes and get over them, others don't. they will forever remember that thing you said 5 years ago and insist on joking about it.
>>21731>You people have no idea what BPD is.
Yes, ok, and that has nothing to do with what the original anon was saying. There's no indication of BPD involved and you only brought it up to discredit that anon, which is pretty much the sole reason anyone even brings up BPD online.
Knowing one person with BPD doesn't give you a psychiatry license, you are not qualified to diagnose.
You sound like a shallow bitch. I can see why you wouldn’t date him due to his lack of a decent income, but to be rude and hate
him because of it? Wow.
I'm 99% my crush albeit long distance (and online!!) likes me and I feel 12 again.
I mean yes, I haven't met him yet but I've known him for about 2 years and my irl friend lives and works with him… so… it's not as terrible amirite? Plus I'm flying down in late April to visit my friends there (and him too, what a bonus!)
But I'm nervous because what if he thinks I'm uglier irl lmao. Fack.
Ass mad BPD. I brought it up because the person I was replying to was trying to force me to take a side in the situation and live in an ignorant world of absolutes. So I was showing them an example where their belief of absolute could be possibly totally wrong, because of their blind faith in the fact that the original poster was telling the total truth.
A lot of BPD people tell stories that they believe to be true in their eyes as they are telling it, but in a objective light of both parties, the story is radically different and often a clusterfuck of a situation and it isn't as black and white as "They did x thing and I did nothing. They are wrong and I am right.". You can't blindly defend some anon on the internet was my point because they could be seeking another's validation in their belief system and since the internet is an echo chamber of ignorance I refuse to support such a god awful thing. This is how we get anti-vax mothers in 2019 and people who genuinely believe the earth is flat. They get told what they want to hear and that they are right rather than what the truth really is.
anon look:>He bought for his bestie and parents regular gifts they would enjoy, I was with him and helped him choose em.>I was with him and helped him choose em
how much of this was you guiding your lil' bitch to the store and making him buy stuff? maybe he doesn't care about gifts at all.
how often are you disappointed by them? how often do you put in the effort for this sort of thing? you can't really force someone to like something.
you may be in a fantasy world regarding this person and you're putting your self on them.
i wouldn't play the bpd card like this anon >>21715
but maybe re-evaluate your role here and also think real hard about if your SO is actually a piece of garbage.
>>21778>I swear I don't have BPD, that's why I'm trying to defend it so hard.
Just stop. No one actually defends BPD unless they have it and they always try to hide it because everyone knows your opinion literally doesn't matter if you have BPD because it's so horrifically biased and uninformed it's about as useful as a politician's integrity.
i swear i picked the wrong hobby to be invested in. i guess its easy to say that since i dont know the communities within other hobbies, and every hobby community has its faults for sure, but art has to have the worst fucking people ever. i know im generalizing but the recent happenings on twitter with "dont give unsolicited critiques on my art!!" is making me go insane. its not even so much the general idea at this point. it just reminds me all these people have incredibly fragile egos and its no longer about discussion and thinking about art and improving yourself. its clout and asspats. i even knew this when i was 12ish when i first entered the art scene, people who believed theres always room for improvement were considered "bullies". but some of these tweets are either outright hypocritical or just pathetic(your art isnt even GOOD enough to warrant criticizing MINE or you dont pay me so dont give your opinion!!!) ive found very, very few artists who feel the same way as i do. and those who do either dont engage in the community or dropped art all together for hobbies that may have healthier people or careers that are more promising.
wow you're either retarded or a baiting incel, so I guess you're retarded either way
You are right about art being a bad community but it's like… every artistic pursuit, not just traditional art.
I realized there's this problem. Like, when I do my fitbit people can see how many steps I've done and that's a number that can't be denied, so people you know, they aren't afraid to be like "yeah, pump that number higher, improve, work hard" or give you shit if you slack off. And it's the same I guess for hard sciences and whatnot, you know, it's like, you're building a cabinet, is it level or is it not?
But even something like cooking it's just subjective enough that it's "not to your taste" even if it's raw or way too sweet or burned. And writing, and painting, and drawing, it's all the same. And people get so defensive because they have these ideas built up in their head that, like, "No, I'm actually good, no one can measure me (unless the measurement I like)" and they get angry if they are measured.
For someone who says others have dichotomous thinking, this is amusing. No one was defending BPD, you just brought it up unprompted and with no reason.
Literally the point of devil's advocate. To make a counter point out of a possibly realistic situation to just make the point of the flawed thinking of trying to accuse others of "justifying giving trash gifts." And then it leads to trying to argue that I have no idea what BPD is. Literally defending it as if a person with BPD isn't the worst person in existence.
Get some reading comprehension. You all are trying to move goal posts and can't even understand a hypothetical as to why you shouldn't be siding with someone whose story can be just a made up fucking lie or an extremely exaggerated truth. And then proceeding to trying to shit on someone who gives a non angry counter point as to why someone is acting like a piece of shit. You know for such "high level emotional" beings that everyone on this board brags about over men, when being given the idea of what another's persons emotions are and their standing are, you all can't understand that simple viewpoint and perhaps it isn't a "you have to defend x or y side." The moving of argument points at this point trying to derail my original point is a joke and at this point I'm baiting you retards who are just looking for a fight.
I work at a specialty grocery store that sells prepared foods which we serve to customers. Part of our selling practices is to give out samples to customers who have their eye on a certain food to encourage them to buy it.
We have several old ladies (yes, each and every single one of them is an old ass white lady) that come in and ask for samples of food, but never buy anything. All of the employees recognize them because they come in almost every single day (presumably they live in the surrounding neighborhood) and laugh behind their backs about it. There's one particular lady who will ask for a specific combination of salads in a single cup at a time like "can you give me a single leaf of that kale salad over there with one small piece of chicken salad on top? Oh, and add about a tablespoon-full of that isreali couscous on top too. No, that's too little, maybe a few more pieces," then walks out the front door as soon as she gets it.
Yesterday I was feeling grumpy and she came in with that particular order (it's always a different combination every time) and I had a very strong urge to tell her to go fuck herself. I feel like such a petty asshole for being bothered by this, since I know it's not my business or my food being wasted.
It's not a big deal and I know people are probably going to tell me to get over it, just thought I'd vent a bit about petty bullshit, lol.
My bf is usually sweet and gentle, but at the end of last year he started to get really mean. I don’t know what happened. He works from home and he thinks that me asking him to spend two hours at night with me each day is too much. I don’t bother him during the day. We don’t always go to sleep together and it bothers me. Last night I thought he’d be coming to bed but he sat at his computer working, talking to his friend about his job. When I complained he said “why can’t you just leave me alone? I have things to do and I can’t because you say (high-pitched mocking voice) ‘spend time with me.’” It felt like a punch in the gut. I don’t understand why he gets so nasty when we fight. I want to stand up for myself but it makes him angrier. I’m so fucking tired of it. I’ve never treated him like this in all the years we’ve been together. What’s worse is he turns it around on me and says that I’m mean when all I did was make a bitter, petty comment about how he could stay with me instead of talking to his friend.
Are you also working? If so he has no reason to act like it's life or death and he MUST work every waking minute.
Sounds like a weenie.
I don’t want to admit this because I’m afraid people will judge me, but he supports me. I was against it in the beginning but he kept insisting. He wanted me to quit my job so I could focus more on school, because at that time we were long distance and he wanted me to transfer to be close to him. So now I’m finishing my last semester online and am preparing to transfer to schools in his city. Knowing that he supports us, I shouldn’t complain. But I’m doing school all day and make sure not to bother him when he’s working all day. It’s only around the late hours of the night (10-12) that I ask to just spend some time together before sleeping.
I’m being pretty immature and huffy and moved to sleep on the floor while he was asleep. He got up and just ignored me and then went back to sleep. I feel so shitty right now. I looked back on our old texts when we were ldr and it’s full of him dumping me when we fight and then getting back together with him promising he’ll never do it again only to do it month after month. It happened in December and January too. Then he gets bothered by my fears of him leaving. Everything is starting to make me anxious, realizing how he treats me when we have bad fights. I don’t think this is acceptable but I love him and I don’t think I have the balls to leave.
Sorry for the novel
My crush told me he loved me and that he couldn't wait for me to visit his city. Granted, he was drunk, but when I asked him I could pretend he never sent it, he said it didn't bother him (!!)
He would jokingly say "ily" a few times but never like this. He is always nice to me too.
I'm smiling but of course I'm also skeptical. Did he mean it?? I'm also the online crush anon >>21768 if that helps to add comtext…
i booked an improv class in hopes maybe itll help my confidence and anxiety à la exposure therapy, but now im freaking out about going. being around people is so hard for me i feel like i cant breathe and like im going to pass out, i already asked someone if they can go in place of me and they said sure if i still cant work up the courage to go. i dont know what to do i just wish i was normal
friend. I love you. I used to think like you and I know this is a venting thread but still. You can start something. Will you be a mozart at anything? no probably not but you can still enjoy your life more than you are now.
This is going to sound crazy but you'll enjoy it more when you keep putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. Not unsafe situations but just uncomfortable. Those are when you'll grow and when you'll look back and think about how much you've grown.
I'm so weird. I don't know how to appear normal. I feel like an alien whenever I go outside and I can sense people looking at me. I'm in paranoia Hell.
Is there a way to see when a thread is at the post limit besides attempting to post? I had the last thread open for 10 days after it filled up because I just figured the lack of posts was due to slow traffic.
>>21640>I really dont care about getting a degree
I don't know about the university situations of other countries, but if you're in America, my advice to you is to leave, in that case.
College is difficult, and if you don't have a fire in your heart you'll likely not be able to complete enough work to get the degree, which means you won't have any help in getting a job to pay off the large amount of debt you will have accumulated.
Friends are nice and all, but not $10k/year nice. College isn't worth it if you don't want the degree.
trying to do small programming projects, refine my art skills, do well in my classes and balance my part time job
I don’t know how normies can manage doing all the things and not feel overwhelmed, I don’t want to give up my small programming projects since I need it for my resume and art keeps me sane :/
She is the standard amount of materialistic. Some people are fine without gifts and/or being excessively thrifty, but it's not usual and it sounds like her and her bf are at the very least incompatible.>>21661
That said, I think you should try talking to him and explaining how you feel, if you haven't done so already. Hanlon's razor and all that. He may be willing to change if he realizes you want him to.
>play with siri cuz bored
>remember cringy joke friend made in class
>remember and want to give piece of mind becuz wtf
>ask siri to call cringy joke firend
>siri calls guy i dated instead twice
>me realize they have similar names fug
>fug go back i do not want fuck you siri
>nervoussss now because i do not want to call nor have intention
How do I fix please…? I havent texted in almost a month because they rejected me but claim want to be friends which i don't mind unless if they truly want it and I don't care since it was only a few 2 dates
All i wanted to was to five a friend a piece of my mind fug me
Mmmm don't drink and text/dial
Were you drinking alone? If you’re drunk without other drunk people around to socialize with that’s probably going to lead to you being embarassing on your phone or worse, social media.
>tfw always wanted to do theatre
>always loved the energy of plays and all the work everyone puts into it
>tfw i have extreme anxiety and social anxiety, cant karaoke with the closest childhood friends without being intoxicated and even then i tense up, sweat a lot
i just wanna try a new cool thing in college to make friends and do something ive wanted to do since i was little. but i dont want to be a burden/hard to deal with for the theatre department and students because i have baggage!!
>>22035>anxiety and social anxiety
Do you think you might be able to handle it better if you played a role on-stage in which you wore a mask, to kind of separate yourself from your performance?
There are also plenty of off-stage support roles in theater if it's more about being a part of the production for you.
Im in the uk so the goobermans is paying lol
i got a degree in acting. people in theatre are usually very nice and accepting. things can get catty but if you're a cool person then most people will be very supportive (unless you get cast in a role that you don't fit or can't handle then people will be pretty hard on you if they feel like youre bringing the show down which most likely won't happen unless the director is blind or dumb.)
also what >>22037
said. there are a lot of backstage work to be done and people will be very thankful for you. plus you don't have to perform so doing fly work or running crew is fun.
I hate that I'm still living with my mother. My older sister is moved out and is already married and with a wonderful career.
Meanwhile, I'm stuck making minimal wage trying to just get my career going, but I'm tied down at home taking care of my ailing father with my mother. I love my family and my place is here and I would never abandon them but goddamnit if I don't feel like screaming some days. I can't even go out because my mother needs all the help she can get keeping my father clean, cooking and cleaning around the house. It's so suffocating.
It's your home, anon. There's no shame in living there. You probably just need to get out more and not just run away. It's better than leaving it all to the vultures.
i'm shit at my job. i dont have the social skills to be a server and i'm clumsy. yesterday i knocked over the mop bucket everywhere and dropped a tray. i was shaking, i'm too nervous for this shit.
i'm working the dinner service tonight which is even more hard. more alcohol and i dont even know how to pour a beer.
You can do it, anon. With hard times comes experience, and with that comes betterment. I believe in you.
Restaurants were too much for me, I would recommend those cafeteria-style places that take tips because it's the same pay for easier work.
masks i think would definitely help.. i didnt think of that(obv i wouldnt be able to bank on always doing a masked role but still). also i love the suggestion of backstage work! i completely forgot about that but it sounds like a lot of fun, im gonna look into that soon. thank u guys, helped a lot honestly.
>reply to person on twtw
>check details of my tweet out of curiosity
>one profile click
>starting worrying if they muted me
i feel sad
I'm just so fuckign salty about something related to my recent breakup and I don't know how to get over it because it's out of my influence and technically I should never have to even think about it again but fuck
Browsing the LinkedIn of your old classmates is suicide fuel.
Thanks anon. You're right. It feels better already having just vented.
OH GOD I found a paper in my dorm room left there by someone and MY ROOM WAS AN ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING MESS AND THEY SAW ALL OF IT
I am so ashamed of myself, I am never going to leave my room like this again EVER GODdammit.
What's the thing making you salty anon? Break-ups can take months to process and come with so many emotions.
Be sure to get out there, and make some friends!
Do people still use LinkedIn? I never actually used it but I figured it had gone the way of Facebook.
But I feel you, hearing about my high-school and college classmates careers / personal lives hits me like a bag of bricks. Even if I'm happy for them why didn't I have the drive to get there, too…
It's one of those things "you're supposed to use" but nothing ever comes out of it.
Different anon, but for you have resources to leave? If you are telling the truth, that's an awful situation to be in. And tbh, your boyfriend sounds controlling from the start in guiding you to not work, live with him, and focus on studies. He may have just had a really positive outlook at the start and been like "yeah, I'm totally going to work to support my baby and take care of her" But maybe the reality has hit and he's bitter.
Or, maybe there's something you're leaving out? But even then, it feels like both of you are really unhappy and need to make a concentrated effort to find middle ground or break up.
I'm sorry you're in this situation and I hope you guys can find a good (or not awful) solution.
>>22141>Do people still use LinkedIn? […] I figured it had gone the way of Facebook
People still use Facebook. Not as many as Twitter and Instagram, maybe, but still quite a lot. It's not like Myspace or Google+.
The effectiveness of LinkedIn in getting business connections is dubious. Obviously it must be happening or the platform wouldn't exist, but I don't think I've ever known anyone personally who has used it to great effect.
My brother paid for his house using LinkedIn as a sales tool
My mom is that mom
. You know - runs the bake sale, manages the pot luck, invites all the new neighbors over for dinner, etc., etc.
Of course she also runs the facebook group for my high school class and for my university alumi class year. Naturally.
I feel like every week is,
"Remember Becky from HS? Her baby shower is next week!"
"Remember Tracey from college? Her wedding rehearsal is next week!"
"Remember Rick from High School? His mother told me he just sold that little company he started 2 years ago for over a million dollars, can you believe it? His wife is expecting their second. It's funny to remember how much of a crush he had on you back then!"
She doesn't even realize it hurts to hear. When she asks I tell her I am doing what I want and, god bless her, she believes me.
Ever since I had a falling out with one of my best friends (it's a long story but she ended our friendship over something small and easily mendable), I've felt like I no longer have anyone I can count on anymore since everyone else is either busy with their lives or just a plain flake. I still have my boyfriend but there's just some things that are more fun to discuss with female friends. I don't feel bitter or angry towards anyone, I just feel a bit lonely…
I agree with this. Some of the best gifts I've ever given, and gotten, were acquired for a low price (if not for free), but they were exactly the kind of thing I or the receiver wanted. I think people attach too much value to money when buying a good gift. Buying expensive gifts are a cheap way to get out of buying someone a gift that's actually thoughtful, since, with enough money, you're bound to buy something the person will appreciate. But there are some things that you'll just see for a low price (if not free) and you think "oh, X will love this" and you get it for them, and it's not even a birthday or Christmas gift, it's just a gift. Unfortunately my opinion on gift giving is very anti-consumerist, and as a result it's just another one of my many beliefs that have isolated me and made it impossible for me to form any real friendships.>>22149
If you're like me then I'm guessing it hurts because you hear all these fantastic stories while you yourself feel anything but. What your mum tells you are the highlights of these people's lives. There are no doubt a lot of details they aren't telling your mum because no one likes to let people know their weaknesses, they don't want people knowing where they've failed. Try and think to your own achievements that people talked about, if you've had any, and think about how little they mean in the grand scheme of your life.
For example, I did very well in high school and university. In the end, all of my academic success meant nothing because all I learned was the curriculum, never the vital skills and experiences humans need in order to make friends, socialise, and actually succeed in real life. I'm slowly grasping that, it's very hard, and it's demoralising. I always acted humbly when my parents boasted my achievements (I hated them doing this), I knew that my academic achievements came with a bucket of other flaws. The grass only seems greener. That friend who sold his business for a million might kick himself when it's worth hundreds of millions in the future, the friends getting married with kids may well end up with a devastating divorce a few years later, I'm not saying to wish for these things, but nothing stays good forever, not for anyone.
You'd be surprised how many people in theatre have baggage too. They're generally a very open and accepting bunch, and may be able to relate to you.
I have several friends for whom theatre has been a transformative experience, in one case helping her to not just deal with, but actually cure her anxiety.
Furthermore, the simulation of human behaviour and emotions is of great help for the socially awkward and the aspergerish inclined.
So go for it girl! And if being on stage seems too daunting at first, take up a backstage role like others suggested. You'll still be part of the community and reap these rewards.
I think I'm becoming a functional alcoholic and I don't know what to do. I never used to drink this much – but I started drinking about two weeks ago and I feel so much better after a shot or three. Currently speaking, I am drunk. I'm a bit depressed and very stressed from school as I hate what I'm studying, but can't switch because I only have one more term before I graduate. I would rather slit my wrists and/or perform hara-kiri than sit down and do my assignments. This is how much I hate my major. It causes me so much pain but like I said before, it's better to grit my teeth and take it in the ass for this fucking degree.
This major makes me question my so-called intelligence and while my other major friends tell me everyone feels this way, I can't help but call bullshit since they're the ones getting 80% on courses whereas I am super content with a \geq 50%.
I'm in perpetual hell and drinking is the only thing that helps, I noticed. I have friends, activities and I probably look "normal" in other's eyes, albeit quiet and withdrawn. I just want to die, and whether that's the alcohol speaking for me or not, it just seems like life won't get better. It just gets shittier and shittier and I just want to crumple down into nothingness.
>>22197>it's better to grit my teeth and take it in the ass for this fucking degree.
If you hate your major so much, as opposed to just school in general, then do you think you'll find any joy in doing the kind of job that your degree will get you, anyway?
I need to be practical an need to pay off decently large student loans. Thankfully my major is "useful" enough for me to get a job where I lack some experience. It's not like passion for some subject X guarantees job satisfaction.
*in a field where I lack experience
I’m super fucking horny and I don’t wanna tell my partner because they’re stressed af atm so I’m trying to give them space to get shit done but PMS is a fucking bitch ass like holy shit I feel like I’m going crazy
lmao maybe sex will calm him down
Don't act desperate. Be seductive.
Nah he’s very much the “leave me to my gubbins” type. I could “self help” but it’s not the same :(
Just gotta distract myself with my work and I keep meditating. What is life.
You need to seduce him, anon. It's the only way for this not to end in disaster. Give him the V.
I know this feeling. Hang in there. "Self Help" really isn't the same, you're right, but at the same time it sucks when your partner's not into it.
its another "loving couple has their first time with each other" episode
Thank you, friend, for that. I know it is only the best bits. But it hurts because I have no highlights. Getting married? I haven't spoken to a man who wasn't a co-worker in months. Babies? The only time I was kissed was in High school when a boy was dared to kiss a girl - and I dream about that
I get up, shower, dress, go to work, eat lunch, work more, go home, microwave something, and watch British police dramas. My mother cajoled me into going to a singles event before Christmas and it scared me. I know I am getting into terrible habits, isolating myself, losing what tiny interpersonal skills I ever had, but hard. I just want to love and be loved but I am more and more trapped inside my head and inside my apartment.
you're very kind, but I fear there is a time limit before I am sealed off like Fortunato.
I dont want friends. but I want to want friends? anyone else know this feel? Ive never seen anyone talk about this
interacting with other people just does nothing for me. I see other people with their friends and feel like I must be doing something wrong because theyre having so much fun doing something that has no affect for me…
I kind of get this, to a lesser degree. I have friends, and I enjoy being with them when I'm with them, but I've never met anyone whose company I enjoyed enough that I would go out of my way to spend time with them. If I don't happen to be in the same place as my friends for some other reason, like school, I don't see or talk to them at all.
It doesn't bother me for the most part; I'm pretty content being alone. But I like the idea of having someone to love, and I'm concerned that my disposition would make that difficult. I've never felt attracted to anyone I've personally known, romantically or otherwise, and even if I did, I'm concerned that I wouldn't be able to give them as much attention as they would need in a relationship.
I'm holding out hope that the right person will make me want to be around them, but it's still just a hope.
it's not just hope that matters, anon. It's your ambition that will get you there. Seek them.
Why would a crush who apparently reciprocates my feelings call me his favourite person to talk to, but never actually really initiate conversations? If I don't initiate, there's no conversation… Either he's only "interested" when he needs a quick self-esteem boost or he's just as boring as he says he is. There's no winning. I'm just sick and tired of always initiating anything.
Just another autist, I suppose. Everybody has something to say. He's probably not very confident in himself on holding a conversation. Give him the green light.
He probably doesn't have anything to say or is afraid of appearing clingy.
I know that judging by objective standards I shouldn't be comfortable at all but regardless of that I'm quite narcissistic in love with myself.
It might be a "If I was to talk with someone, I'd rather it be you" kind of thing. How much does he socialize with others in general?
He may just be a loner, the kind who is happy to talk if others want to, but doesn't really have a desire to go out of his way to contact anyone.
There's a high chance he's not even aware he's doing it. Men can be staggeringly dumb about social situations, or like others said, he could be worried about seeming needy.
helicopter parents are so creepy. i walk past this playground after uni every day, and the parents are always at most 1 step behind the child at all times, it look so weird and uncomfortable. sit tf on the benches literally less than 3 meters away and let your kid interact with the other children normally instead of constantly breathing down their neck.
i found out my dad committed suicide on tuesday. he killed himself on thursday, but i didn't find out until tuesday, through my aunt, who only found out via social media. my usual means of coping is to repress everything and isolate myself. i am trying to act against that, but it feels like i am failing. i have no friends in real life, only online; these online interactions feel devoid of any meaning now more than ever. i tried to make social plans with a former friend i went to high school with, and an online acquaintance i have been trying to meet in real life. they both cancelled on me (albeit for understandable reasons). i swallowed my pride and reached out to my ex telling him what happened, just to interact with someone i know in real life. he ignored me.
my mom is a severely mentally ill drug addict and has been for more than half of my life. she's not sober, and i don't know if she will ever get sober. if she ODs and dies, i will be an orphan. i have achieved nothing, my life amounts to nothing tangible or worthwhile. i vacillate between a numb static, and the physical act of crying, with no grief or sadness behind it. i don't know where to go from here, or how to build a real life for myself. i will be 22 on monday; i am such a stunted and inept bumbling womanchild that i could be an incel's wet dream of a strawman.
where do i go from here? how do i build a real life? how do i learn to respect myself? why should i even bother? nihilism feels self indulgent and juvenile, but i legitimately cannot see a point to any of this anymore. i'm not necessarily suicidal, i'm just so unbelievably tired of everything.
nothing seems to help, and i feel more alone than i ever have before.
I am so sorry about your father.
I can completely understand what you mean about online friendships feeling hollow at that point. I don't really know what to do either, but just know you're not alone. I really truly sympathize. And you're not the only one on this board at this hour either. Stay strong. Take care of yourself. Find something, anything, to sink your passion into and dive into it when you feel ready.
Anon, I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sorry your dealing with all these shitty overwhelming things all at once. I know it’s stressful, lonely, and like there’s no escape now. I know you must feel so run down, tired, and drained. No one to turn to and you feel like your going to feel like this forever, but you’re not, trust me. I know it sucks now, but I want you to know that in a few years time, all these horrible situations will feel like a distant memory, you’ll have moved on from all these shitty situations, have a non-stressful life, and home of your own. I can’t imagine how numb and in shock you must feel finding out about your father. That’s no way for you to find out. And the stuff with your mom, it must be exhausting. You’re 22, it’s not too late, far, far, from it. You still have so much life left. You think you haven’t accomplished anything? You have all the time in the world to do that, you could accomplish something in a few years. You aren’t nothing. You are just waiting to bloom. There’s no rush, its not a race. You’ll be there before you even know. Just dont give up, even though you really want to and think it might be easier to (it’s not).
I’m telling you this because I went through a very similar time at your age and I wish more than anything now, years and years later, that someone had told me that back then. Do whatever it takes to change your situation. Get a job, save money, move out, go to a different city, meet new people, create a new, better life. Do things you enjoy and focus on yourself. Find someone to talk to, a therapist? At least, to just simply vent to. I just want you to know things get better, even though they seem like right now they never will, they actually really do. Just don’t give in to nihilism and numbness, you’ve come this far, don’t give up now. If you could make it through, what I can guess, was a very difficult 22 years, isn’t it worth it just to try for a few more to reach the life you know you desperately want? I really wish someone had told me that in my time of need when I was younger, but like you, I had no friends. Someone to tell me it’d all pay off and all this suffering and loneliness wouldn’t last, to not give up hope. So I’m telling you bc I think you need to hear it. Later on, you’ll look back and be thankful you didn’t give up. All these shitty things that are happening to you now will shape you into the person your going to grow into, it will mold you into an emotionally strong person with maturity and life experience to help you deal with any hurdles in your way. I hope this isn’t too ranty, but i can relate so much to how you feel. Just want you to know that it really does gets better and I’m sorry you have to deal with feeling like this now. Take some time for yourself right now, you deserve it. Don’t rush it, the rest of the world will wait.
You have my condolences.>i am such a stunted and inept bumbling womanchild that i could be an incel's wet dream of a strawman.
You're only turning 22. Better to have a quarter life crisis than a mid life one is what a counselor once told me, heh. There are people who have made it into the history books that had achieved nothing at 22. At the same time, most people's lives don't amount to anything tangible or worthwhile. Even so, you should bother because you're worth it even if only to yourself - you're all you have. Everyone dies alone.
This is sometimes posted: https://ashspace.org/contribs/carthago_deleta/living_as_a_suicidal.php
you're right that i shouldn't give in to the numbness and pseudo nihilism. this post really helped remind me what i've been striving towards before the news about my dad. i was working towards moving out and going to college, before i found out. i'm going to continue to work towards them once i've processed some of my grief.
i decided to go to a sort of hippie community church for support, since reaching out didn't seem to work. they have sunday services but they are kind of progressive and non denominational. i've heard that they are very welcoming and accepting. that should help with how alone i feel. i deleted my discord and social media so i can stop numbly scrolling and refreshing, and focus on reading (and maybe making art, if inspiration should find its way to me). i was just venting, im not going to give up. succumbing to some perceived meaninglessness or nothingness feels cheap to me. i just needed to expel some of my stress and grief without feeling like a burden, or getting reactions which indicate that someone doesn't know what to say. >>22265
thank you for your condolences.>>22269
thank you, anon. i know it's silly and irrational to feel like i will never amount to anything when i am still so young. i appreciate all of you anons' support and kindness so much.
i will be ok. i will not give up. i know i am far more resilient than i feel right now.
why are you ignoring me? did i do something wrong? you said i could talk to you but last time i did you said you were busy. are you still busy? why can't you just tell me what's going on? i need to know, please at least let me know what's going on. i'm so confused and sad. i just want to know what's happening. i don't understand
>Prepared, pretty confident I will do well
>Shitty phone reception
does anyone have friends or SOs that just… spend way too much time on their phones. like i never considered myself some kind of boomer that hated darned kids and their technology but… my boyfriend is attached to his phone. i beg him to not use it while hes driving but he still does. he cannot do anything, whether it be going out and visiting cool places on vacation, studying, movies, even video games if a loading screen comes up he’ll stop playing for like half an hour because he gets glued to his phone. its.. unhealthy and now its getting under my skin. once we went up north and hiked around a beautiful area with our friends and he just stopped and went on facebook for 10 minutes, and then periodically checked, not at all taking in the cool sights or engaging in our conversation. it just seemed rude and even our friends were put off by it. ive tried talking to him over and over about lessening screen time but he just says yeah i will and never does. i cant even have a conversation with him anymore really. does anyone else know someone like this and do you know why theyre like this and if theyll stop? its so annoying..
How old is he? People that are becoming adults now were only 6 years old when the iPhone was first released.
My guess is that it's a symptom of parents spoiling their young children by giving them smart devices, and they then grow up attached to these devices. In another 5 years, there will be adults who will have lived their whole lives without any memory of a time where they didn't have a smartphone within arm's reach.
Spending a lot of time with tech is one thing, and can be expected given the current societal climate, but if he's unable to go without it even when using it ends up inconveniencing him or those around him, I think that's approaching addiction territory.
You could always try the hardass approach and buy him a cheap flip phone, and tell him to use that for calls and texts for a couple months. At least that way his time on Facebook and whatnot would be restricted to just when he can be at a computer.
Ultimately though, it'll depend on making him see it as a serious problem rather than just an annoyance. If not a problem for him, then at least a problem for your relationship. It wouldn't surprise me if he's thinking of it in the same non-committal terms as "I should probably eat less junk food" and other such things where one acknowledges that they have a bad habit but they still don't really
intend to do anything about it.
>>22341>while hes driving but he still does
Okay, that's just like really bad as in unsafe. If something were to happen, lives would be changed forever. You wouldn't let a friend drink and drink so…
The phone is getting in the way between him and you big time. Maybe you can try to phrase it in a way where you want what's best for him instead of coming off as nagging. Is Facebook more important than making memories with the person right next to you? It wouldn't even be as bad if he was a selfie stick slut.
when do you think its too late to make friends at uni? Im nearing the end of my second year and basically just go to lectures, gym and straight home. I dont interact with my flatmates or anything either…
Whenever I meet new men as potential friends, even if they seem genuine, empathetic, etc.
My mind jumps to me getting brutally sexually assaulted. They are always stronger, taller, more capable in terms of being able to crush me physically. Is it only social structure that prevents them from doing this? I just hate being alive.
I don't think it's ever too late. Every semester you have different classes and multiple new pools of people from which to make friends.
I didn't really make any friends until my second year, either.
>>22347>Is it only social structure that prevents them from doing this?
Yes, but yes in the sense that it's only social structure that keeps cops from deciding to draw their sidearm and shoot everyone in the room on a whim.
In a purely physical sense, almost everyone is dangerous to you. Even someone smaller and weaker could deal a lot of damage to you before you manage to subdue them, if they went all-out. Like a ratel fighting a lion. Not to mention they could have or acquire a weapon to make up the difference.
Having a real fear of everyone you meet in person, or even a large amount of them, is unhealthy because it hurts your ability to function in society.
It sounds like an issue you should talk to someone about, professionally.
Working out and building your own strength might also make you feel a bit better about it, and would still benefit your health anyway even if it didn't change how you feel.
Yes and no. You'll never be able to make the friends you could've had, but you can still befriend some people.>>22347
Find a guy that has an aversion to blood and hates horror movies/gore.
I dont know how it works in other places, but the people dont change. everyone on the same course takes identical modules here. Ive seen the same faces in every lecture every day since the start of uni
Ah, in the US the order in which you take classes is not so relevant as a whole, as long as you get all your credits, so you end up with two people going for the same degree taking the same class at different times, or even taking different classes for the same credit.
Even if it's still the same pool of people, I doubt your lectures are small enough that people would actually know you as "that one who doesn't talk to anyone." I think you've still got a shot at making friends.
Of course, you'll have to take the first step and make a point to talk to the other people in your class. Friends aren't just going to fall into your lap.
Not that miner but I don't feel confident these ideas will work. If you read that miner's vent more closely she says it doesn't matter how they act, it's sort of a neurosis in her own mind.
I think >>22353
offers the best advice. The only way to build up mental self confidence is with success. She needs do some workout, maybe even take a self defense class or see a therapist. It's not a healthy mental state to be frequently (sounds like every day) picture yourself as a victim of assault.
Even if she found one boy who didn't scare her or if she started volunteering at a preschool to be around non-threatening males she can push over with one finger, that won't solve her problem of fearing most
its fairly small. I recognise pretty much everyone, so they probably are aware of me. I dont know how to talk to people in lectures tbh. the way its set up here the lecturer talks straight for the whole thing, then everyone leaves. it baffles me how/when all of them made friends with each other lol
What if you get there a few minutes early and start talking to the people sitting next to you before the lecture starts, over a period of a few days or weeks?
the idea of this is p scary, especially this late when everyone already has friend groups sorted. Ive never "cold approached" someone, only ever made friends accidentally basically…
I don't think developing an ego is the best idea in this situation. Nobody actually seems to threaten her, so it would probably be safer to just knock down the social barrier than barbwire it. Just try talking to the scary people. >>22367
Cold approach is best approach. You can do it, anon.
i think i'm done with being gender critical and stuff. like i still don't really consider trans folk the opposite gender but i'm just gonna quit thinking about them. let them do what they want.
i mean, you can be gender critical without being obsessive. i don't care what they do, but i'm not gonna go along with silly gender neutral shenanigans or blindly trust men in dresses
>>22369>let them do what they want
To themselves, sure. The point where it becomes an issue is when it starts negatively affecting other people.
I wish I had never taken to fantasizing about being in a relationship.
I used to doubt that I was capable of being in a relationship because mainstream portrayals of romance were alien and unappealing. When I said that I probably wouldn’t date or marry, people would push me with ‘maybe if the right person comes along’ stuff. Unfortunately, a select few people in my life started to say stuff that really resonated with me and changed my opinion on the impossibility of partnership. I became aware that the best of romance and love wasn’t the most common form of it, nor was it the crap peddled by media. The idea of dating became more appealing the more time I spent dwelling on what I would like to get out of a relationship, but my social life remained stagnant. I’m having one of those spells recently, where I’m going over and over what could and couldn’t work with me. I’m not fond of myself in these times, it feels like I’m being obsessive and narcissistic, but I can’t stop.
I think I just want… attention. That’s out of character for me since I prefer to be left alone most of the time, but I think I come up against my limits occasionally. I’ve noticed my own pattern, every time I spend a long time completely alone I begin to re-evaluate my capacity for social relationships and wonder what it would be like if I found a unicorn. Maybe this is adaptive, my psyche knows that I shouldn’t be alone for this long so I start dreaming of some cute ultimate friend in boy form. It’s also a pseudo-anxiety that gets re-activated whenever I anticipate switching social pools. I’m graduating soon, so I’m due to be tossed out into the world, and the opened possibility of different social circles is making my rumination worse than usual.
is fantasizing about people in your daily life wrong?
it's never anything inappropriate, i just like imagining us as friends and such.
>inb4 why not approach
Wrong isn't really a viable thing here. As long as it doesn't impact your health or anyone else's nothing is really wrong. Is it HEALTHY? No. It gives you life a delusion that isn't real and without real human interaction, you will never be brought back to what reality is and it will warp your sense of perception and ideas of other people.
I don't have any advice or wise words but you sound like the kind of girl I always admired in high-school. Never stop self-evaluating. You'll find some kind if happiness, whether it's in singledom or in a relationship.
I have made a mistake 10 years ago and it's… more or less public. I tried to repair it but there's not much I can do, how do I move on? I worry for the future.
What mistake, how is it showing up now. You need to give context, this shit is aloof as shit the most anyone can give with this info is just ignore it and live your life. Just like anyone who gets #metoo'd or some SJW drags up one poor tweeet from years ago.
I don't know what SM is, but I assume if this was in elementary there isn't anything detrimental there that can impact you in your personal life at your current age. What do you expect will happen?
I guess so, but it's just a bit cringe.
Well you gotta wait until they reply but as long as your actual human face isn't on there or makes any clear dictation that it is directly YOU. Then you should be fine, people can share names all across the country/globe, you can try to play it off as someone else if questioned.
Can't you make big money and pay for one of those firms to erase it from the internet?
I'm starting to develop feelings for my biological brother and i don't know how to deal with this. I don't know if this comes from us never meeting our dad or what. He's been going the gym and he asked me to feel his bicep one day and after that ive been fantasizing every night about cuddling with him and loving him. I don't know what to do because it doesnt seem "gross" to me anymore. Ive never had a bf and im usually really lonely so maybe thats what the problem is. I really wish he would just kiss me like he kisses his gf and care for me like he did when he found my scars.
Does your brother have any male friends?
This is my first post after lurking for a while and I'm censoring cause it goes into my sexuality as a child and I've keep it a secret for too long. When I was a child I was disturbingly sexual (no actual sex just making out, seeing each other nude and etc.) in my youth starting in the first grade and always with other close friends my age. I'm not sure if I could pinpoint when it started and when I thought it was ok but when I was probably in the 3rd or 4th grade I was the older child showing that it was ok for children to makeout with other children behind their parents back. And I motivated a young child sister to kiss her brother and I was eventually caught by their parents, thank god that they didn't notify my mom after and slowly but surely I distanced myself from them and overall being an overly sexual person. I feel deeply disgusted and ashamed of myself for having this sexuallity as a child and introducing that to other younger kids. I sometimes think about how they ended up and if my actions have ever caused them trauma or made them think it was ok to be sexual as a child. I also sometimes have this fear that it will come back to haunt me as an adult (being exposed). I wish I had a cleaner childhood cause looking back as an adult I feel ashamed because of the actions i've done and what I thought was ok.
I won't blame you if you want me to kill myself. Everytime I think about this I wish I never existed.
The shame's enough anon. Please put this behind you. They've probably forgotten about it, maybe said it once as a "weird thing" they remember from their childhood. Maybe it's one of those greentexts that nobody ever caps. It's going to be okay, anon.
>>22471>They've probably forgotten about it, maybe said it once as a "weird thing" they remember from their childhood.
I don't want to be a downer, but depending on the person, it could have messed them up. Possibly even enough for them to replicate the behavior.
The past is the past, though. Nothing one can do in the present but try to be the best person they can be. Killing oneself doesn't fix one's mistakes, and in fact robs one of the opportunity to try and make up for them.
What happened to them? Maybe you can confess this to them. It might help them with how they've changed.
Oh, sorry, I'm not the one who made the initial post. I thought that was implied by the second paragraph.
I had a similar childhood growing up. Were you abused as a kid? I think that may have been a cause to why I did some stuff like you did.
I don’t have advice because I’m going through the same thing, but you aren’t alone anon. The idea of “getting exposed” always haunts too even though it was in early elementary school and I was a little kid. It was just one incident with one person and it didn’t involve touching but I still feel fear and shame because of it.
I really don't want to go home for the summer. I only have one friend over here at college and I mostly just stay in my room all day when I'm not hanging out with her or doing homework, but I like being away from home to pretend I can escape my responsibilities. I feel like I'm becoming distant from my friends back home, I'm 19 and have never had a job and I still don't have a licence, and I don't feel like being around my dad all the time because he can be an asshole. I'm taking 2 online summer classes so I won't be a completely useless member of society, but I just feel so down thinking about summer.
I cut too deep and not a single person cared, I wish I died instead of passing out
I'm sorry sister. I care, please don't cut anymore
Do yout best to be strong anon. Commit yourself to something (eg. Going for a run /lesson each week/ a project).
I don't know what kind of life I want anymore. My depression has morphed from suicidal behaviour into a dullness that permeates behind my eyes. Kind of like the sound of silence, but it's also a bit grey and everything moves a bit slower than they should unless it's inside the computer screen. Perhaps the apathy will retreat once my bank account's depleted. For now even taking out the trash can wait. Insert pot-meets-kettle joke here.
Haven't been able to process a thought in weeks. Typing this helps somewhat. Asking for IRL help (though figuring what kind of help I need is a separate dilemma) and regressing once they've left means not helping myself at all. Believing I won't improve sets me up for failure, I know. Dunno. I'm tired of myself. I'm sure others are too. That's why I don't want them to see me as pathetic as I am now. Maybe I choose to be apathetic and not work on my problems because the alternative has always been feeling as shitty as this.
I hope the sex was good enough to ruin our friendship. From what I've heard, it wasn't.
I care, precious girl. Please don't hurt yourself in this way. If you need an ear or even a friend, let me know and I'm happy to be contacted off CC <3
Consider joining a cross country running or hiking club if you can.
These satisfy most miners unmet needs –
A) It attracts people who seek physical discomfort for sentimental reasons & well being, and are often quite dedicated to their pursuits and relationships,
as opposed to gyms which tend to attract people who are absorbed in their appearance and muscle tone (although gyms aren't bad, perse).
B)The relationships you build are based on conquering challenges through mutual support.
C) (?) It leaves you sweaty and gasping for breath, yet satisfied. (?)
Ok, maybe you disagree with C) but still, I cannot recommend this highly enough.
I didnt go to any of the classes for one of my modules this semester and didnt do the 2 assignments or the exam. now theres only the group project left, which is significant enough that I could pass if I did well on it, but I dont know when it is because I didnt go to the classes. and I dont want to randomly show up and be a burden to my group, or worse yet, have no one want to be in a group with me because they know Im a useless lazy piece of shit…
kill me pls
No offense, but as someone who lives in the same place. Words like this don't matter, they aren't genuine. You don't know the person, words like this are meaningless to someone in that head space, because in reality who they want to care, are people in their personal life, not a rando on the internet. It's just hollow words that have no impact because you feel obligated to say it because if you do nothing or say the wrong thing out of context, now you're responsible for that person's actions rather than the person being held for their own actions.
Sucks that the world we live in now where people feel obligated to say bullshit for no reason but because if you don't you are held legally liable for anything bad to them. Really makes a random's persons act of genuine kindness worthless due to the assumption that they are just saying it for the sake of saying it. Not even really trying to shit on you, but that's the pill of how to deal with people like this.
your being a lil 2 edgy. maybe im not "in that headspace" like you but dont ya think someone can genuinly care about another person on a level of human to human.
Literally missed the point. The fact you are calling it edgy means you don't comprehend or understand. If you are the person I replied to, it shows you don't have a single fathom of understanding and just spew nice generic rehtoric of "I care" when someone is sad as if it's genuine or real, because in reality what I explained is how a lot of people feel and to call it edgy just shows you're being shallow in your sincerity since you have no depth of understanding of how that person actually feels.
you don't have a single fathom of understanding and just spew nice generic rehtoric
go fuckyourself. this conversation is over. is that beter?
Truth hurts. Life isn't pretty and sometimes putting a half assed "I'm here for you post" with no possible way for the other person to contact you so you could attempt to be there for the person is just a slap in the face, like people who put "thoughts and prayers" in a social media post during a tradgedy as if it does anything but make them look like a good person and feel like one while doing absolutely nothing nor any work. It's shallow as fuck.
Not the anon that replied to you, but you are being edgy. A "half-assed" post like that at least shows that someone read what she wrote and cared enough to reach out.>no possible way for the other person to contact you
She didn't post contact info because she wasn't sure that the post wanted to be contacted, if she put it there she would likely just be messaged by male lurkers. The exchange would go "actually I do want someone to talk to, would you mind posting a throwaway account?" "sure" if contact was requested. Not posting contact info right away is more polite and smart.
"Thoughts and prayers" as generic as it is still shows that you care. It's a short way to say "I read everything you wrote, thought about it, and wish you the best in these difficult times". Why must you actually work to solve a problem to prove you care about it? You must have an incredibly negative view of the world if you assume people say that to make themselves look good.
What do you consider would be an appropriate way to reply? Unsolicited life advice? Ignore it and make the poster feel even more worthless?
Sorry for not replying in a while, school got out of hand>>22472
That is part of why I'm worried and regret my past actions, even though I was a child and wasn't fully aware of how abusive I was, only now I am realizing I could have brought a family trauma or the first step in a downward spiral of issues if not already. And because of my actions and what they could do is also why I am scared of being exposed and facing real consequences of something I did as a child.>>22473
I honestly don't know since i've moved out of the apartment complex we've shared and my family slowly but surely lost contact with them. Even if I were to find a connection again, i'd probably be to scared to talk about it cause of its potential of bringing up at best a gross memory that they didn't need to remember or worse trauma, either way it goes they will most likely hate me bringing it up.>>22478
I was not abused in any way physically, sexually or mentally. I would admit that around this time I was left either at home by myself or in the care of another family visiting a friend. I did try to think as to where and I have became sexaul as a child and the earlist memory is again being a first grader going to a female friend's house where she would be sexual with me and make out with me. Only until recently I have also thought about her point of view and that maybe she could have been abused to teach me that sort of thing. This is also the time where we both consumed pop media in the late 2000's where that Katy Perry song "I kissed a girl" was on the radio and that didn't help.
I'm sorry if you can't relate to this, I hope you are okay too.
Doing some sort of volunteer work that involves a lot of physical labor is also an option, if you don't like running/walking in particular all that much.
If only you knew how bad things really are
Your mind's not going to be at ease until you make amends, and learn for sure if they really still care about something from so far back. That's terrible. Stupid music propaganda making children confused and traumatised.
I have moved out of the town and apartment complex we shared more than 7 years ago. I only know the first names of the kids by now and asked family members for their last names and they don't know either and they lost social media contact with their family, so at this point I don't know how to reach out. Let alone bring it up after more than half a decade of not seeing or talking to them.
Y’all need some anthropology perspective on this.
For a significant portion of historical human society, sexuality/nudity was accepted in ways we don’t accept today; minimalist tribal clothing, nude statues or nude depictions of goddesses, or arranged marriage for adolescents. While I would not promote these things today, we can assume many cultures started teaching about the birds and the bees a lot earlier than mainstream western culture recommends.
Heck,some people are deeply bitter\traumatised for all the kissing they haven’t
had. It’s rare to be truely lewd at such a young age because the hormonal/brain development necessary for those motivations and behavior haven’t quite started or have just begun. I think childhood kissing is quite innocent as far as things go.
You have a good heart for feeling bad about this, but I think it’s really unnecessary unless you have stronger reasons that you haven’t disclosed to us.
She's right, you know.>>22602
Habitat for Humanity is a good one.
>shave my legs for years
>also shave my forearms for years because i thought it “looked nicer”
>stop shaving them both over a year ago because i don’t care anymore and have less motivation
Now my arm and leg hair is darker and longer than it was before. The hair on my forearms used to be light, fine, and you could barely see it but now it’s really noticeable and i feel like it looks masculine
I hate the >hurr durr ur hair doesnt actually get darker it's just an optical illusion
because for me the hairs definitely DID get longer and thicker when I compare shaved areas to unshaven
You could try to find someone who's into that. Everything has someone who's into it.
Alternatively, have you tried waxing the hairs/burning them/dermaplaning them/whatever to see if maybe it'll reset the growth somehow? Nothing to lose now.
Wasn't there a meme trend like 5 years back about using basically sandpaper on your skin to get rid of hair and it when done the hair comes back thinner?
this is "the shinning" levels of insanity
Sorry I don't understand on what you mean on what is unessacessary? Can you clarify?
>tfw you're becoming a shitposting addict
I have a real talent for destroying and derailing threads. I can very well kill a thread and drive others away from posting in it, until it's just me and some other person arguing for what seems like hours on end. It usually starts as us having some sort of valid discourse, but it soon goes downhill to insults and low-quality arguing very quickly. It gets to the point where I don't even really care much about the argument anymore. I typically keep it to 4chan and 8chan, since I don't want to shit up any female boards.
I used to unironically feel angry while doing this, but this time around, I noticed myself…having fun. I was focused, and my mood improved somehow. I genuinely had a good time. I'm not even really mad at the other anon, I don't care (though, with all that was said, I'm sure they'd be pretty agitated and pissy if we were to meet again and identify each other somewhere else somehow). I don't even know how to process this feel. It's not even a social interaction thing. I have friends, but this is something else.
I wish this was a marketable skill. Is there such a thing as a paid shitposter?
If 4chan is to be believed, big companies pay people to derail and shut down threads criticizing said companies.
I doubt it, but at the same time it seems kind of plausible. No idea how you'd apply for something like that, though.
Alternatively, develop your skills at shitposting in videogames and become a streamer where people pay to watch you make other people mad.
>be in college
>this past semester a new guy shows up at our school (we'll call him R)
>he's super cool & hilarious, befriends my entire friend group
>1 friend tries to introduce me to him
>"hey R! this is my friend anon!"
>hold out my hand and try introducing myself in the friendliest way possible
>he looks at me and ignores me, continues talking to friend
>fast foward through Jan, Feb, & March, he's constantly around my friends but is super rude and dismissive to me
>ignores me when I talk to him, gives me dirty looks or sounds annoyed if he does reply
>thinking literally what did i do to you? but keep it to myself
>don't say anything to friends, just play it cool and let him hang around while i smile and nod
>finally tell my two best friends about how he's been treating me
>"i'm sorry anon, idk why he treats you like that, it seems out of character for him"
>two weeks later (yesterday), bffs and i decide to go out to dinner
>they're in my apartment hanging out, and i'm super excited for fun night approaching
>bff 1 says "hey, let's see if we can get more people to come!"
>i say sure! hold on a sec while i pee
>go into bathroom
>while i'm in there he calls up a random person
>come out and bff says he invited R, and R agreed to come
>thinking to myself while we sit and play smash about how shitty i'm going to feel having him there
>tell friends i think i got food poisoning and that they can go on without me
>they leave quickly and i curl up on my couch and just think to myself "why…"
i honestly have no idea what i did, or why this guy loves all my friends but decided upon only hearing my voice that he hates me. at first i brushed it off but now i'm pissed and want to punch him repeatedly for getting in the way of my night
I think you're missing a piece of the puzzle, there's no way he would act differently only to you unless there was a strong reason for him to do so.
Be honest with yourself: are you hygienic? are you fat? are you flat-out ugly?
Do you act obnoxious? I sometimes unconsciously ignore people when I know nothing good will come of interacting with them.
>>22668>are you hygienic?
yes..>Do you act obnoxious?
i don't believe so, i'm pretty quiet>are you fat? are you flat-out ugly?
not a stand-out beauty but far from fat, and the dude himself is a fat fuck
and why would you defend that last piece? do you avoid people over their appearance? because that's shitty…
Not her, but the reason why anon asked about these things is certain boys tend to act rude to girls they don't see as fuckable. They see no point in it perhaps?
maybe, i know i'm not fuckable. i'm very tomboyish with an average face and short hair, nowhere near a stacy. but i don't think it's homophobia either because a couple of our mutual friends are gay
it could have been something he found off-putting about how i introduced myself, idk. i didn't mean to imply in my op that i 100% believed i am a completely innocent angel who could do no wrong, just that i'm confused about it and now my feathers have been ruffled
Maybe it's a vibe thing. Haven't you ever disliked someone after just having seen them? Just from their subtle air or mannerisms.>>22676
It's offensive in the same way that being poor is offensive; it's a social sin. A fat person is an eyesore. My poor mother dreads being around my father in public.
I hope you're sarcastic right now and you didn't write all that in a serious manner.
better start working out and losing weight, tubby
Could anyone else from your group be considered a "tomboy" or "queer"? If not, it's probably your position as team dyke that's making him despise the sight and sound of you.
>>22682>Haven't you ever disliked someone after just having seen them? Just from their subtle air or mannerisms.
not really. i mean, there’s been people i met that seemed pretty odd or awkward at first but i would never automatically dislike them or after the first impression be a flat out dick like this guy was to me. i’d at least try to get to know them before any harsh judgements were made>>22676
unlike many anons i don’t care about others weight, like the best friend i mentioned who called R to come to dinner is huge
and told me he weighs 350 lbs at only 5’11”. i say whatever, although i worry about his health and possible shortened lifespan it’s not really my business to try and fix him. and no, i would never be put off by him because he’s too cool/nice of a person>>22695
yes, i am the solo dyke in our group. i certainly hope my friends aren’t hanging around a misogynist/lesbophobe, that would really grind my gears
Get your shit together.
what are you talking about? lesbophobia is a real thing, anon.
I'm in the middle of a PMS funk and I feel like shit and haven't done shit this weekend even when I have a crazy busy week coming up. Fuck
You're resorting to garbage meme phrases as to why someone doesn't like you like most homosexuals do. It's pretty gross, you're trying to victimize yourself because of who you are because someone doesn't like you and the worst part is you don't even know why you just resort to the whole woman lesbian angle instead of many other things that could be worth not liking because it's the easiest way to devalue someone below you. That's a jerk move and if that's how you roll, I wouldn't like you either.
>>22698>i am the solo dyke in our group
Guess who he doesn't want in the way of any potential romance.
Is breakup sex really that bad? I've only been in 2 relationships, but after I break up with them, like the month after when we get all our stuff, I've fucked them and then it's like… Idk the fact even oxytocin and all those feel-good hormones can't make me want to be back with my ex makes me feel amazing and it really gives me a sense of closure. I feel bad because I know they're doing it because they miss me (whereas I just like the fact I get to get fucked by someone who knows my body since I don't hook up), but I always let them know I don't mean anything by it. It's never more than once either, it's like the breakup sex is what lets our relationship actually be finalized.
A significant portion of people with eating disorders (which can reasonably be assumed given his weight) have significant emotional issues - for some it is a coping mechanism - others might have significant issues with self control - etc.
If there are any particular interactions with R you want to share with us, that would help narrow things down.
Aspects of temperament - casual or formal? - detail oriented? straight laced?
god damn you’re salty. the other anon was the one who initially suggested that might
be why he acts the way he does and i was telling her i hoped it wasn’t the case. neither of us suggested that we were 100% positive he hates me because i’m gay, it was a speculation because neither of us know.
take the stick out of your cooch and try reading the whole conversation before interjecting, because you sound fucking stupid.
p.s. lesbophobia isn’t a “meme phrase”, you goof. it refers to specific homophobia against lesbians by people who might not otherwise hate gay men. feminists use it a lot.
yeah i don't doubt he's got some kind of ED even though i never see him eat more than other people (probably does it in private), i feel bad for him but don't think there's anything i can do to help without coming across as a nosy dickhead. weight is too sensitive of a subject even for close friends.
the last time i actually said something to R was in a student lounge and he was showing some kind of funny meme to the people sitting at a table with me, it had something to do with horror cliches. i couldn't see because it was on his phone screen and he didn't show me. while he was walking around me to show someone else i asked him if there was anything on demonic/possessed kids being a cliche since that's a big one and he didn't respond, so i just stopped trying to talk to him any time he's around.
I read what was said, and i've been following but everything said so far and the ideas produced are just stupid. It's all shallow stupid shit, your issue is that you can't accept that possibly someone doesn't like you and it has nothing to do with how you look or your lifestyle choices and instead of searching for a realistic solution to the real problem here which is that this guy is acting like such a cunt that he's inadvertently alienating you from your friends you are trying to figure out the problem with you that he doesn't like for some reason. Your proprieties are fucked just like this logic you are all following.
Also no feminists are fucking stupid and create problems out of thin air that are minimal as shit and deserve no attention. This whole homophobnia shit is a meme because it's easier to disable dissenters by saying "Well they aren't good people, they hate homosexuals! Anyone who hates them are terrible people and thus don't matter!" than it is to actually defend the topic at hand.